Chapter 5
The Consequences of a Storm
First I want to thank everyone who had read this and responded to it with his or her reviews. I want to apologize to Amanda, because this chapter may not be what you had requested of me, but I promise you, if you just hang in till the end, you will understand, that there is a time and a place for everything. And certain things happen for a reason.
Thank you,
KR
PS., I have to apologize this just might be a long story.
He didn't know how he had made it to Doc's office with her in his arms. He had no recollection of leaving the Long Branch, nor did he know that he practically ran up the flight of stairs to the office. All he knew was that she was so pale and her lower body was covered in blood. Her blood. Her precious life was flowing from her abdomen, in a crimson river. As he laid her upon the table, he felt Doc's body next to his, pushing him gently out of his way. Festus had the good sense to pull Matt back and sit him down. He then quickly found the brandy decanter and poured Matt a drink, which sat in his hand as he watched Doc tear away at Kitty's clothing in order to get to the wound. Everything seemed to move in slow motion. It didn't quite seem real to him. He had held her in his arms this morning and made love to her. She laughed at his jokes which he was sure were the worst jokes he had ever heard, yet she laughed. She had snuggled into his chest and told him that she loved him. And his response was the same. This wasn't happening. It can't be. She was everything to him. When he had told her that she was the air that his lungs had breathed in, he meant it. She was that and more and at this moment, he felt as if all the air had been ripped from his lungs. His heart had an almost physical ache to it, as though a ton of bricks had been laid upon his chest and he could not seem to pull himself out from under it. Again, his mind told him it wasn't happening.
The brandy burned on its way down, but he barely felt it as he watched Doc work. It seemed as though there was more blood covering her clothing than was humanly possible. How could she survive with such a loss? Desperately he tried to shake the negative thoughts from his head, but his heart was in his throat and his stomach in knots. How was she going to survive losing so much blood?
The minutes seemed to tick away like hours. Everything, everyone seemed to move as though they were stuck to the floor with molasses. His head felt fuzzy and he knew someone was talking to him, but he just couldn't get his brain to comprehend what was being said, or even acknowledge who was there. Festus realized that he was in a daze.
"Mathew, Mathew, Newly has both men hold up in the jail." He said as he knelt beside him. "She's gonna be alright, Mathew." He said, but the blank look that greeted him, told him, that Matt wasn't listening. He could only hear the ragged breath of the woman on the bed. "She has to be." Festus whispered as he took the brandy glass from Matt's hands and set it on the table. "Newly, why don't you and I go down to the jail and see if'n we can find out what started this here ruckus?" Festus asked Newly.
"Okay, Festus." He said as he looked over at Matt and then at a very pale Kitty, laying on the bed, with Doc tending to her.
The hours passed like years and nothing could stop the flow of fear that rolled over Marshall Dillon. A big man, who feared no one, or any thing, except for losing the peace he found the day he met the redhead from New Orleans. Before his eyes, flashed years of their life together. The first kiss, the first touch of her palm on his bare-chest, when he had been injured in a gunfight. The first time they made love, just five days after he had been shot and the feel of her silky body against his. He remembered their first Christmas, when he had bought her a pair of Ruby earrings. He had saved every penny working odd jobs that year just to buy them for her. The gift she had given him in return, was beyond anything he could have hoped for. She had given him her body and soul that night. All night long she made love to him. Giving everything she had to offer. The time she fell from the horse that had been startled by a rattler. He had carried her for almost a mile, but she was so tiny to him. And there were no questions about whether he should carry her or try to get on the other horse and ride with her. She had a head injury and he needed to jostle her as little as possible. He smiled to himself as he remembered the young Tennessee man who had kidnapped her for wifing. There had been more than one man who had tried to take her away from him. Some tried to force her, others had fallen in love with the beautiful redhead, and tried to woe her, but she could not be bought, forced or wooed, because her heart belonged to one man, and to only one man had she ever given her body freely. He tried to remember the young man from Tennessee, who had been so set on marrying Kitty, Orky…Orky, something or other, he couldn't quite remember his name, but that didn't matter. It wasn't important. She was the only thing that mattered to him and right now, he watched as Doc washed his hands and covered her with the blanket.
Standing on wobbly legs, he moved towards Doc who was looking down at Kitty and taking her pulse. "Doc?" He voice cracked in fear and it was all he could manage.
"I don't know, Matt. She's lost a great deal of blood." Scratching his whiskers, he looked at the carefully wrapped bundle which held the lifeless child. His heart ached as he looked at the still bundle, wishing with everything in his heart that he could have saved the child as well. " I couldn't save the baby. There was just too much blood loss and the placenta had been ruptured." Gently laying her hand back down on her swollen belly, Doc shook his head. It was a child that shouldn't have been, yet he knew by the way Kitty had been busy with the nursery, that she wanted and loved the child. It would have been her first and only baby. That too, was something else Doc regretted. 'Matt and Kitty should have married long ago and had a house full of babies.' Doc thought to himself. Then maybe all of this wouldn't be so hard. Because, it had been difficult few months, trying to adjust to the fact that she was carrying the child of a murderess animal. Now she would deal with the loss of that child. His head swam with questions and regrets. It was all becoming too much for his old body to deal with. She was his friend, but in his heart, she was the child he had never had. He loved that little redhead with all his heart and soul. She had become his confidant, his best-friend and his moral compass at times. And she was still a handful at times. He smiled thinking about what a fighter she was. She would survive this, of that he was sure, but the pain would leave its mark on her heart and soul. Death was something people dealt with everyday, but it never stopped hurting. The first initial moment when it occurs, there is such an emptiness felt in the human heart, one that feels as though someone had just laid brick upon brick on your chest and the air rushes from your lungs. He thought as he remembered Sam, she was beautiful too. And had such a fierce temper. It was the first time in his own life that he had come close to marrying someone. He would have done so, if she hadn't died. That was a pain, he would rather leave behind, yet he dealt with it every day. Just as he knew that Kitty would have to do the same. One of the worse things he would ever have to do is to tell her that her child did not live.
Matt slowly made his way over to the jail. Doc had told him to head down and get some much needed rest. It would be at least a day or two before they would know what was happening with Kitty. Walking along the quiet street, he noticed that the night lights were the only company to the jail. It was late, and Dodge was pretty much sleeping. Sam had long since closed up the saloon and headed home to rest. Festus and Newly would be at the jail waiting on him to see what to do.
As he entered the jail, Festus stood up from Matt's chair and watched him closely. Newly continued to write down the report as told to him by both men. The incident was an accident that should never have happened. He looked up as Matt closed the door behind him and stared into the cells, looking for the two men who had caused the death of his child. He knew that he was making more of this than he should have since it really wasn't his baby, but he could help but fall in love with the child growing within the woman he loved. It was a part of her and that made it important to him. Without saying a word, he went over to the door and picked up the keys to the cell and entered the jail.
Jeb saw the hatred in the big man's eyes, and he knew that if the Marshal got his hands on him, he didn't have a prayer. As he turned the key in the lock, Festus stepped between Matt and the door.
"Mathew, you don't wanna go doin' that!" He said firmly.
"How the hell do you know what I wanna do, Festus?" He said looking into the dark eyes of his long time deputy.
"I know, right now, yer feelin' mighty angry, and ya gots evr'y right to be, but ifin you go in there and hurt that boy, then you'll be hurtin' yourself as well." He said still standing between the two.
"Marshal, it was an accident." He said looking at the big man. He moved towards Festus and the Marshal. "I swear to God, it was an accident. I would never hurt Miss Kitty." He said trying desperately to make Matt understand.
"I'll KILL YOU!" Matt yelled as he tried to reach through the bars and grab Jeb. Festus grabbed Matt about the waist and Matt tried to pull free, but he had been weakened by exhaustion and pain. Newly grabbed Matt's gun and then the two men pulled the Marshall from the cell.
"MATTHEW! You need to calm down!" Festus yelled as they slammed him into a chair. His large body hit with a thud. Festus took the keys from his hand and hung them up as Newly poured Matt a cup of coffee. But Festus knew that coffee wasn't what he needed. Matt was in need of an old friend. Opening the bottom drawer of Matt's desk, he pulled out a bottle of whiskey and poured him a nice long drink. He handed the cup to Matt who took it and drank deeply of the dark amber liquid.
"The baby didn't make it. It was a girl." He said leaning his head in his hand as Festus poured him another one. Matt drank that one deeply as well. It was at this time that he noticed the taste of the amber liquid was just a little bit off. But he paid it no attention and finished the second cup.
As he looked up at Festus and Newly, his head began to swim and he suddenly felt drowsy.
"C'mon, Matthew, let's get you to bed." Festus said as he and Newly helped the big man up and over to the cot. They had just sat him on the edge when he fell into a deep sleep.
For almost two days, he slept and so did Kitty. When Matt woke up, Kitty had still been sleeping, and Festus and Newly had released both men, knowing that it was an accident. In his heart, Matt knew it as well, but he just hurt so damn much that he couldn't see straight. The pain was so unfathomable, that it began to make him feel numb. He would go back to Docs and see how Kitty was doing. And this time no one had better drug his whiskey, or there'd be hell to pay.
As Kitty sat in the large wooden chair in the back yard, she gazed out into the grassy pasture, so rich and green. Her heart felt so heavy. It had only been two weeks since she lost her little girl. As she thought about it, she remembered how Doc had tried to keep her from seeing the child, but she insisted. So Doc had done something, he had thought he would never do. He bathed, Beth, that's the name Kitty had given her. He bathed the little lifeless bundle and cleaned her up, crying the entire time he did so. When she was bathed and dried, he put the little pink gown on her and matching bonnet. He then wrapped her in the yellow blanket Ma Smalley had made for Kitty and dried his tears before taking the baby into the other room where her mother waited to see her. Kitty sat up in the bed, Matt was sitting on the edge.
"Are you sure you wanna do this?" He whispered to her, but Kitty needed to see her child.
"I need to." She cried. "If I don't see her, how will I ever remember her beautiful little face." She said looking up at Doc, who wanted nothing more than to run and hide. He felt his heart break in two as he carefully laid the baby in her arms. Looking down at the child, she told her mind, that the baby was only sleeping. She pressed a kiss to each eye-lid and gently unwrapped her a bit so that she could touch her tiny little hand. She laid the tiny hand in her palm and stared at the little fingers. Tears streamed down her face as she realized that she would never see this child grow up. She would never skin her knees, fight with boys, as her mother did when she was a child. She would never know that love that is between a man and a woman, and she would never have her own children. Her little life had ended before it had begun and it ripped Kitty in two. She breathed heavily as she held her lifeless child to her breast. "My little girl, my baby." She cried as she kissed her forehead. "I love you, Beth." She whispered as Doc gently lifted the child from her arms. She felt a heaviness in her chest that she had felt only once before, when she had thought that Matt had been killed by Mace Gore. It was at that moment that she realized she had lost someone so precious to her, that her own life, was now without purpose. As she looked at Matt, she saw that his face was wet with tears and that he too had come to love the child. What she had lost, so had he. Though the child was not his, he had fallen in love with the idea of being a daddy to her and raising her with Kitty.
Standing up, Matt gently placed his hand on the baby's head. "She sure is beautiful, Doc." He said in a soft weak voice Doc had never heard from the large boisterous man. And once again, Doc's heart broke for his friends.
"Yes she is." Doc stated simply.
"So tiny." His voice cracked as he sat back down on the bed and moved into Kitty's waiting arms where they cried together over their child.
Looking over to her left, she could just about see the small headstone beneath the big oak tree. The afternoon sun was high and the leaves created an almost ghostly dance over the front of the stone. The stone read, Elizabeth Kathleen Dillon Born and Died on June 14th 1879. She had given the child Matt's last name, at his request. He had wanted to be a part of the child's life, and he would have loved being her father. She did not refuse him, this. He had been asking her to marry him just about every day, since they found out about the child. Now neither one of them were going to know what it would be like to have a child to take care of. She wanted desperately to just set her baby in the big basin and bathe her. Or dress her in the soft white gown she had bought and take her to church and let the other women make a fuss over her. She wanted to smell the gentle sweetness of her baby, and lay her cheek upon her head as she lay sleeping at her breast. But all of that was the past. It would never be. She stood up, being careful not to pull her stitches. Doc came out onto the back porch to see her, as she headed for the oak tree. Without saying a word, he headed over to the tree and stood beside her. Kitty knelt down and began to move the fallen leaves from on top of the dark soil. Doc knelt beside her.
"Kitty, I have to go back in town and check on Ma Smalley." He said looking at the small stone.
"Okay, Doc." She said removing sticks and stones.
"Matt should be home in a couple of hours…." He started but she looked up and smiled.
"Doc, I'm okay. I promise you." Leaning over she gently kissed his stubbly cheek. "Thank you, Curly."
Doc stood up, knowing that she truly was okay. She had to be, she had Matt to help her. "Well, okay, I'll be home in a while."
"I'll have supper ready for you and Matt when you get back, Doc." She said as she pressed her hand to the stone and gently ran it over the carved letters. Doc nodded and turned to walk away.
His old grey eyes caught a glimpse of something in the bushes over yonder and he squinted to see what it was. But nothing moved and he realized it must have been his old eyes playing tricks on him. Heading around the front of the house, he unhitched the buggy from the front post and climbed into the buggy and headed back to Dodge.
The small ranch wasn't more than a five minute ride from Dodge, and he probably could have used the walk, but his old legs didn't seem to want to carry him that far these days, so the buggy would do just fine. Bringing the horse to a trot, he would be in town quick, and get done and return to the Dillon ranch to help her cook.
He had noticed the red-hair from where he had stayed hidden since early morning. He could tell that she was a grieving mother who had just lost her child. The age of the Child he did not know. He watched as she stood up from the small grave, than seemed surprised by something. She looked down at her body, than quickly pulled the shawl over her breast as she quickly turned and headed back into the house. Watching the buggy disappear over the hill, he waited till it was clear out of sight before he slowly climbed down from the tree. From the house to the tree, there was a great deal of open space and he knew that he had to be very careful as not to be caught. Lying in the high green grass, he slowly began to crawl towards the house, keeping his eyes on the road and the windows of the house.
TBC
Sorry, but I had to cut it off like this as I wanted to get another installment in and you all know how impatient I can be. Forgive any grammar mistakes or misspellings; you know how I can be when in a rush. Please keep reading. Amanda, you know how I write. I promise you it will be worth the wait.