I DONT OWN TWILIGHT.

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Chapter 6

Alice pulled me up the stairs into my room by my ear when I refused to go quietly. When up there she slipped my shirt over my head and started unbuttoning my skirt before I asked what the hell was going on.

"Did you even go to the game? How did you have time to do all this?" I noticed she wasn't ready for the night. She had her party planning/decorating outfit on under the tool belt, which means I have about forty-five minutes until people start showing up.

"No, of course not. I knew you'd ditch me for Embry yesterday when I caught you with the shower head between your legs." I blushed.

"Better than when I found you with fucking Paul in the gift shop back room at the London Bridge." I muttered under my breath. Alice's cheeks turned a smidge pink but she kept going like she hadn't heard me. "How much shopping can I get out of in order to keep that information away from Jake, anyway?"

"I'll deny anything you say and Paul knows what I'm capable of doing to him if he snitches on us."

Overconfident whore.

She had me undressed by then and was promptly pushing me toward my bathroom. "…and you don't have time for fiddling with yourself right now either. Get in there and wash your hair and shave anything that hasn't been shaved since yesterday."

I mimicked her all the way there then added a rather grumpy "Yes, Hitler" as I was pushed in, quite roughly, while the water was still cold. I couldn't help but yelp in shock and listened to the little tinker bitch laugh. She left the bathroom to probably go finish setting up.

While in the shower, I couldn't help myself. My mind automatically drifted to the bronze haired hot bitch from earlier. Fuck Alice, I thought, there's always time for a quickie. Mmm, that glorious hair of his would be nothing short of perfection right where my showerhead is now conveniently placed, I want to lick and suck on that jaw… I want to lick and suck on something else… I bet his hands…

"Bell-lla." Alice sang. Her voice was too close. I froze with the head between my legs as she opened the shower door to check on me.

Fuck, I've been caught twice in a twenty-four hour time period.

While simultaneously laughing and shaking her head disapprovingly, she striped and fucking stepped into the stall with me.

"Put that away." She scolded. I smiled in shame, probably crimson red.

"God, I know you too well." Alice muttered. "This is the only way to ensure you do what you're told." She took the handle out from my favorite spot and I immediately craved what had been lost. The vision of the perfect man was fading a tinge and I was depressed.

Alice washed herself while I did the same. We are both smaller people so we didn't bump each other awkwardly. I did spray her in the face once or twice for interrupting my fun time. I tried to look all innocent but I could tell she didn't buy it because the second time I did it she gave me the worst titty twister of all time and I now know not to mess with Alice while in the buff.

I used to be uncomfortable being nude around Alice and Rose because they both look like goddesses and I looked like…well me. And also I was kind of a shyer, more introverted kind of person than they were. That all changed when I fell down a flight of stairs and through a window at prom our junior year. I broke both my tibia and fibula bones in my right leg. Luckily for my running, it was a clean break and healed rather nicely but Alice and Rose were my saving, showering graces for the duration of the big boot-leg cast. Seven weeks of my closest friends all up in my business was enough for me not to care anymore.

We probably looked really odd to outsiders. Showering, sleeping in the same beds…even with Jake. We all know each other's top ten favorite foods, bands, movies, pet-peeves, weaknesses, and favorite memories etcetera. We hold nothing back from each other. Well almost nothing. I kind of forgot to mention to Rose and Alice what my mom is really like. They don't need to know what she has really put me through and Jake better take what he does know to his grave or I'll put him there.

Other than that I couldn't be closer to anyone… I realize I may need to think the close-knit shit through a little more thoroughly when Alice raises my arm, slabs some cream on it and quickly shaves the non-existent hair away. "Shit Alice, I can do it myself, asshole. That fucking hurts." She did the other arm while I rolled my eyes at her dismissal of my complaints. I then had to press my fingertips into my armpits because they were in pain and if I didn't get some lotion or something on them quick, that bitch would be causing some razor burn.

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Thirty minutes later and a lot of impatient Alice tugs, pulls and plucks, I looked semi-good. Almost even pretty. Alice looked all smug as she spiked up her hair crazily and I reluctantly thanked her for making me look good enough for self-confidence and for letting me wear really cute jeans. Beauty is pain and Alice is torture.

"So this party, Alice? Are you going to tell me what you're dressing me all up for or do I need to go find Rose?"

She smiled and caught my trace of excitement. "Well, if you must know, my Brother is in a fraternity---" I groaned and slumped back on the queen size bed Esme and Alice picked out for me. "…and said he'd get a few people together to come hang out. Stop complaining, Bella. I am going to tell you I told you so about him one day…you just wait. Don't bet against me about love.

"Blah, Blah, Blah. I don't want to meet him. Im sorry he's your brother, Alice, but I really don't think it's a good idea for me to go out with him. He's your brother" I enunciated. "…and I am your best friend. What if I really like him and he…doesn't…like me back or something. And then he fucks me over and you're the one stuck in a hard place?"

Alice furrowed her perfect brow as if in deep thought for exactly two seconds then shrugged lightly. "You're meant for each other, I already know it. Trust me, don't doubt me. I'll make you say I was right eventually…And I know my Edward almost as well as I know you…he'll be in love with you and not even know it before the night is over….And by the way, if you use that potty mouth of yours at dinner with my parent's here tomorrow, my mom will have a coronary."

What like she's never heard the word 'fuck' before? I digress, the little bitch is right. Carlisle and Esme have done so much for me I hope I can control my mouth for two hours.

Alice practically skipped out of my room like a toddler, vibrating with excitement. I decided to just conceal myself in my room until I would most likely be forced out by Al or Rosalie to go downstairs.

While hiding up in my room, I contemplated why I really wouldn't give Alice's brother, Edward a shot. I have been avoiding him for years- ever since Esme and Alice started planning our lives together. It was a lot to live up to, their family. They were big, rich, wealthy people around a bunch of snobs and other big, rich, wealthy people.

Who'd want to date someone who cares more about their new Mercedes and their next tee times with all the 'gentlemen' at the country club than watching the Charger's beat the Bronco's on a Sunday afternoon, and having a nice dinner outside on the porch with friends? Who'd want to go out with a guy who probably drinks thousand dollar bottles of wine and eats caviar instead of good beer and homemade tacos? That's just not me. I prefer simplicity.

I also would never be able to fully let my guard down around someone like him. I will ultimately need to be with a guy who would be able to understand and accept my relatives. Perfect Richie Rich Edward would sever all ties to someone like me if he found out about Renee's strange way of life. Alice doesn't know the half of it. She doesn't know that if Renee were to find out where we lived, she and her make-shift friends would ransack the place and take everything over $15 in value. Renee doesn't care that I am her daughter, she cares that because I am her daughter, I am statistically less likely to call the cops when she steals from me.

When I spoke on the phone with Renee yesterday, she was strung out on something and totally surprised when I told her I've been in L.A. for the past week. It's like I had never mentioned to her at least fifteen times before that I was moving here. Jesus, she's fucking ridiculous.

I am not embarrassed by where I come from; it has made me who I am. I have come to terms with who I am. I finally can truly say I like myself. Being with someone like Alice's Brother would ultimately make me change my mind about myself because I already feel inferior with out ever even meeting him. I have never been able to tell Alice in depth about my childhood so she doesn't exactly know that my mom chose vodka and oxycotin over me. I don't enlist myself in relationships because I can't face that kind of rejection again. I love my mom. And she didn't love me back enough to keep me. Some poor guy will have to deal with all of that shit and I am pretty sure someone with as perfect a life as Edward Cullen wouldn't be up for that kind of challenge.

I heard a bunch of people downstairs by now and Alice had her shitty music going. It was only a matter of time before someone came up here to retrieve me. Though it was the least of my friends that I expected.

"Yo, Bells!" I heard Jake down the hall. He stuck his head in to see me. "What ya doing in here all alone?" Ok. So they've all caught me at one point or another. I'm doing that rather often. Statistically, it's bound to happen.

I rolled my eyes as he walked in the room and almost broke my bed when he landed on it. "Congrats on the game, Babe. I saw your first touch down. How come you neglected to tell me you'd be playing so soon, huh?"

"Surprise?" He smiled a big toothy grin. "Actually, that's why I came up here to get you. Emmett convinced Carroll to use me at half-time. He's downstairs, I knew you'd want to meet him." He was right. Emmett McCarty is my new hero…especially now, if he's getting plays in for Jake. But if I went down there now, I'd also get stuck meeting a pompous ass. I groaned. "I met him too Bells, he nice. Just get it over with so Alice leaves you alone…"

"Plus, Al told me if you don't get your ass down there 'right this instant'" He mimicked in high voice. "She says you'll be going with her tomorrow to someplace called The Prairie or some shit in a hotel downtown to get all you're pubes waxed off?"

I took in a large amount of air rather quickly respecting that kind of physical pain. I'm sure I looked rather frightened.

He smiled his easy teasing smile. "I can't believe you keep enough hair down there for Alice to be able to threaten you with, anyway. Serves you right." He was sniggering at me for three second before I punched him in the arm hard and jumped on his back trying to strangle him to the ground. Instead he easily held onto my arms that were around his neck and started his way down the stairs with me swinging limply from his back. Usually I would fight harder but I feared for the pain in my loins if I didn't go.

EACEACEACEACEACEACEACEACEACEACEAC

Once I was downstairs, I looked for Alice so she'd know I came down and hopefully she'd leave me alone for a while to mingle. The thing to understand about why meeting this stupid guy is such a big deal, is when I said avoiding him for years? I mean it really literally. Alice lived in Havasu with us for five years. Her family is bound to visit at some point…or in their case, a lot of points. I was always conveniently out of town when I knew they were coming. I'm a pussy at rejection and I have built it up to be such a big deal when it really shouldn't be. Rose met him a couple times. Said he was gorgeous but arrogant as shit with a stick up his ass. He always came to town rather stiffly and ended up brushing off her playful attempts. No one brushes of Rosie. Three years later and she's still upset about it.

I used to be able to tell if the Cullen's were coming to town because of course Alice would try to surprise me. Rosalie would get all primped out just waiting for him to want her just so she could reject him back. God, she can be such a girl sometimes. She has been permanently all done up since we got here.

And anyway, how could Esme want to set me up with someone who could coherently brush off Rosalie Hale? In the end I didn't want to meet him because I was just dreading the impending embarrassment and humiliation. I've made a huge fuss for so long that I can't let them down by just giving in so easily. Can I?

I didn't have to be introduced to Emmett to know who he was. He got up as Jake came to a halt near him and a girl he was sitting with. Jake set me down and I took in all that was Emmett McCarty. Has Rosie seen this particular piece of ass? Who's this chick giving me daggers because Jake brought me to meet the next draft pick in the NFL?

"You're huge!" I announced looking up at him a little awestruck. My brilliant deductions made him chuckle as I shook his hand.

"That's what she said." He laughed again at his own joke. When I finally got it, I blushed a little and laughed softly still in captivation.

"She's been waiting to meet you since she found out this is where I'd be playing" Jake explained.

"Jake talks about you guys all the fuckin time. No offense but I don't know how he can live with three chicks…" He shuddered and shook his head at Jake like he was either really stupid or fucking brilliant. "Especially my cousin dude. She's fucking wacked!... S'like she's on crack or some shit all the time…"

"Wait a sec…Alice is your cousin?" I slapped Jake hard on the back of his head for not mentioning this earlier and I'd make sure to get the little bitch later too. I have talked about Emmett McCarty's football stats non-stop since April. Damn Bitches.

"Yeah, she's feisty as shit but that little one's got a good heart." I agreed wholeheartedly with Emmett but wished Esme was trying to set me up with her easy going nephew instead of a dick…

"Are you guys close?...I mean, why wouldn't she say anything?"

"She doesn't want to claim me." He feigned offense. "No, knowing Alice, it probably has nothing to do with us" he gestured to me then himself. "She's a sneaky little shit and I'm sure you know her better than me nowadays, but she has a motive, ulterior or otherwise for…everything." He shook his head chuckling.

"Well Bells, I've got to tell you." He continued as he put a huge arm on my shoulder. "After meeting you and…Rosalie?" He questioned her name with Jake but held it in the air with amazement. "I think I'd suffer through all the girly shit to be able to see you guys walking around in your thongs and see through bras." His grin was dreamy and the girl he was with was glaring at me.

I hit Jake harder on the back of the head. "What the fuck do you tell people about us?"

"Fuck," He rubbed his head gingerly. "He fantasizes all on his own Bells."

"Na-uh Jakie-poo, you told me yesterday after practice how dramatic the house gets when all three girls start their periods at the same fucking time…" Jake looked more afraid at every word out of Emmett's mouth. I didn't even blush cause I knew exactly how to put him in his place.

"God, Jake, I didn't know you had it so bad here. You could always move back in with the guys at the fraternity…" Jake stayed with Emmett all summer while he had to be here with out us until last week. He was sure to be indicted into their little club with Emmett being his new best buddy and all- living in a place with frozen pizzas and other little piglets that don't have a den mother cleaning up his shit for him.

"No, no, its okay Bells." He pleaded with his eyes for me to not go where I was going with this.

"Yeah, Jake, you're always welcome…shit, Bella," He looked at me with hope, "you, your thong and those cookies you made today are always welcome too." He smiled cockily like that invitation was similar to getting asked out by LaDainian Tomlinson.

"Emmett its splendid here, really. I am so lucky to have Bells." He put his arm around my other shoulder for comfort.

I turned to Emmett sweetly after giving whoever this bitch with him was a glance that sent her packing. Jake rolled his eyes while folding his arms knowing I would be embarrassing him now for the mentioning of my period to mere strangers.

"I'm not girly…" I poked Emmett in the chest. "And while it's true I have a menstrual cycle, I don't let Jakie-poo know when, how, what or who about it…and Jake would be lost somewhere between looking for food and finding his own balls if it weren't for me…" I smiled cause that shit is so sad but true. "I'm sorry, darling" I cupped Jakie's strong jaw between my fingers and thumb slightly shaking his face as I spoke. "But you are a goddamned slob and I'd watch that tetchy mouth of yours if you ever want your fucking laundry done again. Did I not just make you your favorite grilled cheese enchiladas last night? What a fucking whiner." I laughed and I pushed him back offended. I tried to muss his hair but he caught my arm first and put me in a choke hold.

Emmett was looking at us like he just struck gold or some shit. He told us that he was lost at the word 'cheese' and he would talk to Esme and Alice about moving in…When I tried to protest, he just waved me off dismissively like Alice sometimes does and told me not to worry because he has his laundry sent out.

I met some other guys from the team. Some guy named Laurent who had a Megadeth T-shirt on, at least someone here at this party has good taste, Tyler who works at the garage with Rose and Jake, some frat guys that wouldn't leave poor Rosie alone…and Jasper.

Jasper was…hot. Looked like Paul Walker meets a shaggier haired Zack Morris. We talked for a bit. I found out he just graduated last year with his Bachelor's in Business and Landscape Architecture. Talk about random dual majors. He laughed and said he couldn't pick just one when it was time to make a decision and just did…both. Sounds like a three-some to me. I mentally calculated him with the list.

He started his own business about a year ago that was supposed to be just a class project but his friend's dad helped him turn it all out into a healthy, steady income. He is now, with the help of a really large crew of people, turning regular old backyards into Eden's everyday. He looked intrigued when I told him about my own architecture and graphic design majors. And I couldn't remember talking to someone so easily before. He just made me feel…comfortable.

"I don't know. I just…have a way with foliage. I like to get my hands dirty." He shrugged and said it with out the double entendre but my mind is a gutter's cesspool. I giggled and left a hand on his chest because by now I had had three Jaeger shots and liquid licorice makes me brave. "I'm sorry, what was your name?" He asked.

"Isabella Marie Swan." I held out my other hand formally for him to shake. "Pleased to meet you, Smith Jerrod." Jasper obviously didn't recognize the Sex and the City reference to his appearance but his eyes lit up with interest once he knew my name.

"Actually, I was meaning to talk with you Bella," He began.

"What do you mean Bella?" I said a little loudly. "Oh my god, have we met before?" I whispered a little tipsy in his ear. My hand on his chest unconsciously traveled to the nape of his neck and move up into his unkempt hair.

"No," he smiled and held my waist closer. He pulled the other hand that he still held to his chest. "I know…Alice. She told me you're looking for a job?" We were kind of swaying to the music in the background. His brow held high on his forehead waiting for my answer.

"Actually yeah, I am. I've been picky. I need to make about $700 a week to be able to afford this place and Alice. She's a rather expensive friend." I said. He looked confused for a moment then smiled in camaraderie.

"We have a lot in common, young Bella. Will $900 a week work for you then? You're my new personal assistant."

I laughed out of courtesy at his lame joke.

"I'm serious." He now looked it but he smiled.

"You don't even know me?" I looked at him skeptically and took in our current intimate position. I abruptly stepped away upset.

"Well, I was going to call you tomorrow about it but I thought because I had you right here, I would just offer it to you. Alice said you would take the job no problem but if you don't want it I can find someone else…"

"No?" I questioned both him and myself. Then I grabbed his hand and took him to a corner where I could speak softly so as not to embarrass him. "I'm not sleeping with you to get a job. Although 'expert fellatio provider' would look strong on my resume, I'm not a fucking sell-out." I kept my voice in a low but serious whisper. I wasn't sober enough to take real offense or drunk enough to not know what the fuck was going on.

He quickly laughed and spoke quietly "Do you think…Alice would speak so lowly of you, Bella? Her reference for you was enough for me to know your potential as an employee. I also know that while we find each other…attractive, I can't sleep with you….Ez-Alice would kill me" He smirked all knowingly and shit. "She has you planned for some one else…" Trailing off, he kept hold of my hand and brought me to the bar in the kitchen with the plethora of alcohol on it. I rolled my eyes at yet another mention of meeting the ass before I realized what Jasper was really offering me.

"What's your pleasure, Bella? And what do you say about the job? It'd be noon to 6 Monday through Thursday and Saturday mornings for a couple of hours. Oh, I forgot to tell you the best part…my friend's dad, you know the one who's investing in me? Ya, he is going to provide you with a company vehicle 'cause you'll be doing a lot of driving around…picking up sod, trees, flowers, fertilizer…you know? Plus I'll need you to scout out potential client's yards…take pictures and shit."

He kept blabbering on and on and I stood there mouth agape like 'sure, I've known you for a grand total of ten minutes. Please just present me with exactly the kind of work I've been looking for-for like… a month, and on top of it take care of my lack of vehicle issue as well… Can I get a hot bo-hunk of a man on the side with that? How about a foot massage? Oh, yes you can pay me $200 more a week than I offered and give me a job that could co-inside with my major- even if just in a diminutive way.' I want to be an architect and 'Personal Assistant to a Venture Capitalist Landscape Architect' would look good on my resume when I'm finally done with school.

I squealed at him then hugged him tightly while jumping up and down. He chuckled in delight. I'm glad he doesn't take offense to overly excited public displays of gratitude…And if he is playing a joke on me, I'm punching him in the junk.

I calmed down coolly and replied in an overdone composed manner. "Why, yes, Jasper, I think that will work out for me. Thank you for the opportunity. I'd like a Jack and coke."

I couldn't contain my composer for long though, I was excited and I couldn't stop grinning like an idiot.

As soon as I had my drink in hand, I started hallucinating. The fucking star of my creamy dreams was in my goddamned kitchen seemingly walking up to Jasper and I. I smiled at him because this day just keeps getting better and better. My fairy godmother has decided to grant me several wishes in one evening and I am not about to take it for granted. He smiled back at me with the same stupid crooked grin I saw earlier. I tried to suppress my swooning. I needed to find more out about this guy before I gave him any inkling I might be interested. He stalked up to us and started pouring himself a drink no doubt thinking of something clever to say.

The girl who was with Emmett, I found out her name and forgot it already. She came up and stole this guy's attention away from me before he could say anything. He kind of gave me a pleading look like 'save me.' I smirked and led Jasper away so I could let him chase me instead.

Jasper seemed like he wanted to get me away from my mystery man and took us outside on the deck.

"Do you know that guy in the kitchen?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yep," was all he offered in response.

"I saw him at the game earlier. How do you know him?"

"He's in my fraternity." He smirked like he knew something I didn't and I tried really hard not to let it bother me.

"Oh…hmm." Dammit. All the hot ones have to be frat guys. I bet he's a dick. But you like dicks, I thought to myself. Yes. Yes I do. I'll have to see what I can do about getting on his. Where's Rose?

"Hey, Jasper?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't know why you're doing this but, really…just thank you. Thank you for giving me this chance. I really appreciate it." I do have a sappy side. "I'm really a good girl under the crass…so I..."

"You're welcome, Bella. You should know that you're friends speak very highly of you. And after meeting you myself, I think we'll be good friends." He smiled all sincere and crap. I wondered if even though he said he couldn't, he still wanted in my jeans. He was being way too nice for a frat guy. I really wanted this job but I don't sleep with my employers…

"You don't trust people easily do you?" Jasper added.

"People can be really shitty."

"People can be really shitty and they can be really remarkable…but mostly they're a little in between. Remember that shit when you're meeting new people here…"

"As in meeting Alice's Brother?" I hedged.

"Yeah, he's a sweet kid like you…under all that crass and other shit…I know him pretty well…Alice said she's been trying to set you guys up now for awhile." He sounded like his fucking best friend or something.

"Where are you from Jas?"

"Houston."

"Hmm…how well do you actually know the Cullen's"

He hesitated for a moment… "Not very well at all. I have met them a couple of times before. They're alright." He smirked again.

"Well as much as I love Alice, I couldn't date her or be in a serious relationship with her. She's pretentious, spoiled, manipulative, and…mean. She'll do almost anything to get her way. Plus she gives a fucking painful purple nurple." I shuttered because it still hurts.

"What makes you think he wants to date you or be in a serious relationship with you?"

Huh? I opened my mouth. Then I shut it again. "Ah…" I sound like a conceited asshole.

"We all need friends right? Promise me something and I'll give you a few extra days off for Thanksgiving." Shit he's all smug now because he has something to hold over me.

"What?" I asked wearily. "His mom and Alice haven't stopped talking about how interested he is in meeting me and going out since 2005…I should have known…He's probably in the same boat as me…avoiding the hell out of me too isn't he?" I should have noticed that Alice hadn't yet been able to get our introduction over with.

He laughed nodding in confirmation. I felt so idiotic. "Just promise me that you'll give him a shot at friendship once you meet him…everyone deserves at least that, right? I don't know if he's gonna make it tonight but whenever Alice gets around to doing what she does best- getting her way- promise you'll try."

Jasper is a good person. Remarkable as he would say. I negotiated three holiday paid days off to be nice to some guy who was in his fraternity. He goes all out for his brothers.

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Later, once I located her, I was telling Rose and the fucktards that wouldn't leave her side about my extreme good luck this evening. She was very supportive about the job, in fact she wasn't surprised. She said she met Jasper the other day and said he's a real genuine guy…She must have been with shopping or something with Alice when she met him… who I just realized seems to be MIA somewhere?

I was just beginning to explain to Rose about the beautiful Greek god from my dreams in the kitchen when one fucktard in particular looked me up and down very obviously and proceeded to ask me if he could get me another drink. I made some stupid comment how I could drink anyone here under the table and he still wouldn't be getting in my pants. The stupid fucker wanted to make it a bet and when Rosie started chanting 'Swa-an, Swa-an,' How could I not give these mother-fuckers a show? Every one with a shot class was invited to play.

I confidently bet this bastard, Mike my knickers and after he passes out he'd owe me his. He'd be stuck doing the walk of shame out of this house with out getting any action and with out his pants…covering his small junk with one hand all the way home. I hope he had to park far away.

He doesn't know that I have an odd glitch in my system that allows me to consume large amounts of alcohol and still keep a pretty level head. I have Renee's genes after all.

I stood with Rose in the kitchen while they were setting up the game on the kitchen table.

"I want him." I whispered, pointing at the guy who was at the end of the counter, talking with Jasper now, and who I just barely noticed had the most beautiful green eyes I've ever seen.

"Him?" She questioned smiling all sneaky and shit. What is up with people today? Is there a joke I'm not getting? "He's hot, Bells. You want Fuck Good approval or what?"

"Yeah, of course. But in order to get there, I need the holy wisdom that is Rosalie Hale?"

"Have you talked to him?"

"No, but he keeps looking at me like he's hungry or something…like he wants to eat me. I think I'll let him."

She laughed a musical sound which made them look up at us. Rose seemed to be eyeing my boss a little like she wanted a piece. She fucking winked at him and he smiled that same knowing smile as before.

"You don't need shit, girl. His eyes just fucked you through your clothes seven ways from Thursday." If that wasn't a confidence booster, I don't know what would be.

She handed me the Jose and took several shot glasses with us to the Kitchen table. Jasper and his friend were already there ready to play.

I found out that Mike was also in Jasper's Fraternity. He's about to lose his Lucky's to a girl he hardly knows. Rosalie announced the wages of the lost pants to everyone that circled around for the show. Guys and girls alike looked nervous for me. Rose was the only one confident in my skills as she's seen this shit go down before. She set the glasses down loudly then passed a bowl of lemons and a salt shaker to each of us.

Mike and I had our own bottles of Jose in hand when I turned to him, handing over my bottle with out a word. He smiled nervously and poured me a shot. I had never even met this fellow and he seemed to be silently telling me that no matter what happens, he wouldn't let Mike get my pants. Oh bless his heart; he's sweet underneath the filthy crooked smiles. He looked so tempting I had to scoot closer to him so I could be with in touching distance. He smiled genuinely at me for the first time and I skipped a heart beat. I like him. I haven't even spoken to him but I like him.

"You're real smile is more dangerous." I told him honestly. As much as I loved the crooked one, the authentic, at ease one he just sent me made my heart melt.

"Huh?" He smiled again but I could tell he had no idea what I was talking about.

"That smile," He unconsciously smiled again so his face lit all up and shit. I wasn't just in lust anymore. Just that smile made me feel more for him. "Well, that sly, mischievous grin you've been giving me all day I'm sure works wonders on all the ladies…it works for me too…but I like this…" I touched his cheek, because his beautiful face had been calling my name all day. His smile grew impossibly bigger at my touch. "…one best."

"That's kind of cheesy." His voice was like honey.

I giggled because it was. "I like cheesy sometimes."

"I like your smile too." I couldn't help it. I beamed at him excited. Stop. Stop it right now. I will like you too much if you keep it up.

Other people had their own little wages going with each other and different kinds of liquor going on. Rose didn't play in order to keep a level head for me. My very own wing-woman.

I noticed that even though I had The Sex God pouring my shots for me, he had some kind of bet going on with Jasper and a half gallon bottle of crown. He and Jasper both were shooting me concerned looks worried for my morality.

"I must clarify for you two. You look nervous. I didn't actually bet Mike that he could get in my pants. I bet him my actual pants…my jeans…Plus," I whispered conspiratorially to them both, "This ain't my first rodeo…I'm going to kick his ass."

They both politely smiled at my explanation shrugging off the idea of my innate alcoholism like they should. I didn't take it personally that they didn't have faith in my skills. They were about to see some crazy shit.

I smirked confidently, licked the salt off my hand and took the shot like the professional I shouldn't be. Rose held a lemon to my lips and I sucked it down. Mike followed and tried to hide his sour face, and then he looked around blankly for someone to be holding his lemon. Rosie's my bitch, dick. I set back in my chair and folded my legs under myself getting comfortable because this was just the beginning…

After about seven shots, Mike was starting to sway. I was still smirking at everyone.

"If you puke Mike, you better make it in the fucking trash can…" Rosalie growled at him while simultaneously shoving a small can in his lap.

"You've done this before." The velvet voice on my right deducted. I turned to face him while he poured me another shot.

"It's a gift."

"I think I should tell you that the guy I saw you with earlier at the game?" He hedged like I should know where he was going with this…

"Yeah?"

"Your boyfriend just left with my date." I frowned because he said he came with a girl then I was confused at the reference to my non-existent…

"Boyfriend?" I questioned a tad tipsy.

"The guy who carried you out of there?" He's absolutely beautiful, I mused, not really listening. Then I realized what he said…I guess that means Embry's out.

"Oh shit...the Fucker." I muttered angrily. I should be happy for him though; I was his back up too…so…good for him. Shitty for me. Now what am I going to do?

"Is it bad luck when the contingency plan back fires before the actual plan?"

"Come again?" he asked confusingly amused.

"I can't. Embry was the back up booty call." I said truthfully as I downed another shot. "Ah well, there's always the shower head. Things are looking up." Tequila is like truth serum.

"You know I have no idea what you mean?"

"I'm counting on that" I smirked over at him.

"It hurts my self-esteem Rosie," I said to her. "…That he wouldn't fight harder for these lips."

"He's the one who's missing out?" She smiled playfully and set next to me holding my hand. Nothing out of the ordinary for us.

"You would know." I flirted back. "It looks like I will be self servicing tonight."

"I could always help you out again if you need an extra hand...or tongue." Rosie giggled, trying to sound casual. Rosie loves to make out. Rosie would love to do more than that…she jokes about it often. She is a true friend when in need. She flirts with me shamelessly. What would she do if I ever actually took her up on her blatant offers?

I had too much alcohol in me to be able to blush so I smiled confidently at her. "Do not fucking tease me, Rosie, I'm too wound up for false hopes…" We laughed because the guys at the table were trying to act nonchalant at our girl on girl references with each other. Where the fuck is Alice?

"Mike could you clunk over all ready, I've got shit to do tonight?"

………………………………………………………

I was impressed. Mike had actually made it to twelve and I was starting to feel Jose.

I found out the mystery man to my right was in medical school here and worked at the nearby clinic getting his hours in. God, he is too perfect. He's beautiful and he's smart…and doctors help people. Every time he'd laugh with Jasper about something, my heart would liquefy a little more. I liked him. Too much. And I didn't even know his name yet.

He smelled like heaven and sex and warm and yum? I've never met a guy whose smell single-handedly made me want to fuck him, let alone everything else this guy has going.

"You smell good." I leaned in to him to get more. I was no where near poor Newton's condition but I was a drunk. I had all twelve shots in me so far plus some Jaeger and Jack from earlier. I also had several beers at the game so I was not my normal self. I was now self-assured, brave, blatantly honest, Bella. Completely opposite than normal, sober Bella except still horny and still unabashedly attracted to man who just put me in his fucking lap.

"Should we go one more, Mike? You gonna make it?" I asked him hugging my man close opening inhaling his scent. Mike just stared at me for about 30 seconds before the slightest enlightenment crossed his features. The fucker wouldn't give up hope and nodded his head for one more. I laughed at his tenacity for my pants.

"I'm flattered that you're so interested in these…what are these pants called again, Rosa?...Doesn't matter cause yer not getting um. I forgot to tell you, Mikey, I have played this game before. I'm not gonna get sick. I won't have a hangover. And my pants will still be mine in the morning…unless I give'em to this stranger here later. Give me your pants. You lose."

"One more." He said and I nodded to my man to poor me another.

I noticed Rose kept text messaging someone but I didn't have the mental capacity to think who it could be. Something was still up I could tell. She and Jasper had been watching us now like we were pay per view porn for the last hour. What the fuck is going on? I'm usually so perceptive.

I licked Sexy man's hand, poured salt on it, licked it again. I took the shot and his fingers were pressing harder into my skin the closer I got to his mouth. I took the lemon from it. Pulled the juice from the lemon, threw it over my shoulder before softly placing my lips back to his.

Lovely. It was absolutely lovely. I pulled back and looked into his eyes hoping I hadn't offended him by my kissing before he even knew my name.

Come to think of it, every time either of us had tried to ask the others name, Rose or Jasper would interrupt and change the subject. Me with the Jose and him with the crown were too intoxicated to notice or care. We couldn't carry on two conversations at the same time…

"This is ridicules, my name…"

I was about to just tell him my name when Mike stood up a little unsteady. He took two steps and toppled right over straight as an arrow.

"Pussy! I win. Get his pants!" I yelled. I got high fives from all kinds of people that I forgot were even there and then right when I was about to turn back into my future lover's eyes, I saw her. She came peering down the hallway smiling like a little kid who did something bad but incredibly fun and a look of pure mischief was in her eyes.

I looked to Rose, then Jasper, and then him and I noticed the bone-structure of his face, especially his nose, looked strangely akin to someone else I knew. I thought back to all the smirks and knowing looks. I even got a few from Jake earlier before he left with a bunch of guys from the Res. Huh? Good god, was I really so blind this entire time? Yes. Why? Because he was the last person I wanted him to be. Perfect, beautiful smelly good stranger was...

Oh no. I started to laugh uncontrollably at my idiocy.

---

A/N Whew! That was the longest chapter ever! And I still didn't get as far as I wanted to in the story. I need a Beta so don't complain if there are totally dumb and useless parts… Help me out if you can.

There will be some hearty EPOV next chapter. I would like to offer a vigorous thanks to the 22 people who have taken time out of their days to give me some love. Please, feel free to do it again.

About the Jose? I have never gone 12 rounds…I am a light weight. I didn't know if that was too much to fit what I am trying to say or not. All I know is I was in Vegas with my husband and some friends and my husband beat out everyone and got to 12. He was fucking drunk. That was a hell of a night.

References:

1. The actual London Bridge that fell down, was taken apart brick by brick and purchased by the United States. It is now put together again 'brick by number' over Lake Havasu in Arizona. I love their gift shop...

2. Pete Carroll is head coach of USC Football. Emmett convinced him to put Jake in even though Jake is a freshman...rare.

3. "The Prairie" as Jake put it...is really called 'La Prairie' and it's a uppity celebrity spa in L.A. I have never been there but I've heard its fabulous. Alice would be taking her there if she didnt go down stairs...

4. Smith Jerrod on Sex and the City is a sex god and he is absolutely the hottest mother effer to ever grace that wonderful show. I see him as a Jasper. GOOGLE HIM IN ORDER TO OGLE HIM! Im Serious.

5. LaDainian Tomlinson is also cleverly nicknamed LT. He's a way hot running back for the San Diego Chargers. He is amazing.