Hey everyone! I know that it's been little while since I last updated this but I've been a little busy lately and yeah… At least I'm updating right now right? Lol. Well I hope you've all really liked this fanfic so far because I'm having fun writing it as I go along. :D I think that this one might be one of my longest fanfics chapter wise. :D:D But I'm not sure because I have to have a little chat with my friend ShiningSilver who is the author of the story that comes after this one. :D:D Anyway, I would really like to thank all of you who have read and reviewed this fanfics and haven't given up hope on my for updates like some people do because it takes me a while. :D Well here's your long awaited update. :D:D WOO!!

Thoughts that can Shatter

Opening my eyes, I found that my head really hurt. It had been a long time since I had felt this horrible. That last time I could recall of feeling this bad was having a major sugar high for about four hours before crashing for the rest of the night. I think that it was a time where I had actually gotten sick. 'I feel like crap.' Trying to lift my right arm, I found that it stung and that it had been wrapped by someone.

"When did that happen?" I whispered, looking around to see where I was.

I was in my bed, in my house. 'How did that happen? Wasn't I in the forest? What happened to everyone else?'

The door downstairs opened and I could hear three voices talking to each other. I didn't know what they were saying, but I could still hear them. 'Who is that?' Sitting up slowly, I was holding myself up with my left hand. 'They're coming up the stairs… I think it's Kiba and Hinata… She's alright!' The thought overjoyed me beyond anything else. I had done something worthwhile and that meant a lot to me.

The bedroom door creaked slightly and I could feel stares on me. Looking over towards the door, I smiled slightly to see Kiba, Hinata, and Tenten standing there.

"Hey guys," I laughed slightly.

"Y-you shouldn't be moving already," Hinata said with worry, coming over to me.

"No, I'm fine," I grinned.

"You've been out for six days," Kiba stated, coming into the room.

'Six days? Has it really been that long?' I cocked an eyebrow and looked at them in confusion.

"So what happened?"

"We carried you back and took you to the hospital. They said all you needed was rest so we took you home," Kiba explained with a slight smirk.

"How did you get into my house?" I asked suspiciously.

"Y-you left the door u-unlocked," Hinata stuttered.

'Damn, I knew I was forgetting something.' I made a dull expression at the thought. I didn't know when I would get the full story, but I knew I would get it sometime.

"So how are things going at the academy?" I wondered.

"Alright," they all agreed.

Hinata had an expression on her face like she wanted to tell me something but couldn't with everyone else in the room. 'How would I get rid of Kiba?'

"What's going on there?" I wondered, looking at Tenten with curiosity.

"The sensei of each class will grade everyone soon. Everyone will either pass or fail; become a ninja or remain at the academy," Tenten explained.

'Well that's interesting… I guess I fail then since I've only been to like two classes.'

"I bet you guys will make it," I said with a smile, "You'll definitely make it."

"You shouldn't be so confident about it," Tenten said coldly, turning and walking down the stairs, leaving the house.

'What the… What did I do wrong?' My smile faded and I looked at my bed with some hurt. I heard Kiba sigh and he shook his head.

"I'll go talk to her," he nearly groaned as he too left the house.

Hinata was about to say something but I beat her to it.

"Is she mad at me for what happened?" I asked, not sure of what to say.

"S-she's upset…" Hinata tried to say but her words got stuck.

'Hinata won't be able to say it… I better not make her worry about it now.'

"Don't worry about it Hinata. If she doesn't want to be around me then that's he decision," I told her with a small smile.

It was true. It was Tenten's decision if she didn't want to be around me or if she was mad at me. It was all up to her, no one else.

"B-but she shouldn't…"

"I'm telling you not to worry Hinata, and I mean that. I can't change her opinions, only she can."

I gave Hinata s warm smile, but she still didn't look sure.

"Anyway, enough about that," I said with a small yawn, "So who was the one who bandaged me up?"

Hinata blushed at the question.

"I um… I tried my best."

"It looks good," I smiled widely, impressed by Hinata's hard work.

'I'm gunna have to find a better shirt to wear... This one kind of got destroyed…'

"I-it's not too tight is it?" she asked with some worry.

"Not at all," I complimented.

Things fell silent again and it was a little awkward.

"S-so how are you feeling?" Hinata wondered quietly.

"Like crap," I sighed, feeling my head pound.

She gave me a worries expression and I had to shake my head. 'It's probably a cold or something…'

"Don't worry about it Hinata. I'm alright… I'll probably need a little more sleep though," I mused, slouching forward more.

"Do you want me to leave?" she asked.

"Not really," I whispered, "But you can if you want. I'm sure that if I fall asleep then I won't be much company."

Hinata nodded and then backed away from the bed. 'When Hinata gets it into words, then maybe Hinata will be able to tell me what she wants to say.'

"I'll see you late Hinata… I hope to be able to get out of this bed soon," I laughed slightly.

"G-get well soon Suzu," Hinata said quietly as she went towards the door, "I'll c-come by later…"

"Have fun with whatever."

When the door was closed downstairs, I sighed and slumped back into the bed. 'I want to die… I hate feeling weak and stupid!' I closed my eyes and threw the pillow over my face. With a sigh, I tried to take in the darkness. 'Tenten hates me… She thinks so lowly of me… It's like she thinks I'm a complete idiot or something.'

"Can't say I really blame her," I whispered to myself.

I felt like sleep was coming soon, so I just lay there waiting.

Before sleep could come, there was a knock on my door downstairs and I pulled the pillow from my face. 'What the… The sun's already setting! It was only noon when everyone was here…' I groaned as I sat up uncomfortably. The person knocked on the door again, three times.

"I wish I could teach llama how to answer the door," I mumbled, sliding out of bed.

I forced myself to stand with sore legs and stumbled slightly as I tried to walk. 'Damn I'm off… I can't wait to get going again.' Going down the stairs, I walked across the floor towards the door. The person knocked again and my right eye twitched with some annoyance. Opening the door, I saw Iruka Sensei standing there with a rather a nervous expression on his face.

"Hello sensei," I nearly yawned, leaning against the door with my head.

"Suzu, how are you feeling?" he asked me.

'Why is it that everyone can find my house but me?'

"Horrible," I stated emotionlessly, "What can I do for you?"

He laughed nervously and I noticed that he had his hand behind his back. 'That better be something worth my time… I didn't want to get out of bed.'

"I've come to tell you that you've passed the academy," he said with a smile, bringing the Hidden Leaf Village headband to be in front of him.

"What! How?" I asked with confusion, "I've been there for like three days!"

Iruka Sensei laughed at me slightly.

"You were already skilled as a ninja when you came to the academy. When we were in the Land of Waves you showed the understanding of what it means to be a ninja," he explained, holding the headband out to me.

I grabbed the strap and held it carefully. It was brand new; the metal was shining with the light of the setting sun. 'To be a ninja one must sacrifice themselves for the sake of their village…'

"All I did was put my classmates in danger," I stated quietly, "Nothing more… I can't take this."

When I tried to give it back, he shook his head and turned to walk away.

"Keep it and think it over. The final day is in a week. Show up when you're feeling better."

I watched my sensei as he walked away and around the corner. 'It's not like I don't want it… I just don't deserve it. I'm too worthless to anyone to become a ninja.' Sighing, I closed the door and walked over to the kitchen table. I placed my headband on the wooden table before dropping myself onto the couch. I sat on the top before sliding down onto the cushions. 'I have no family, only Hinata and possibly Tenten as a friend… There's no one who could change my opinions about guys… They just ruin everything and think they're so much better when they're not.' I closed my eyes again with more hope to fall asleep than anything. 'Maybe I would have been better off dying as well.'

Tenten walked down the street towards her house. She'd been out all day to be away from everyone. She knew that her attitude from before would bring someone to come talk to her. So she simply disappeared to avoid everyone.

"You're aware that you're overreacting," an emotionless voice tone came from behind her.

"Neji," she whispered, turning to look at him.

He stood there with Kiba not too far behind him, not wanting to be too close to the cold Hyuga.

"Suzu's just being selfish," Tenten stated, looking away from Neji, "she's taking Hinata away and then they went on that trip… She's just being selfish."

"Is that true Tenten?" Neji asked her, "Do you think that she would do that out of selfishness?"

Kiba didn't say anything. He knew that it was better to let Neji handle something like this. Only he and Hinata were really close to her.

"She saved Hinata because it was right. And not just Hinata, but Ino and Sakura as well," Neji explained.

He had heard the story from Hinata, but of course not from face to face. He overheard it as she told it to someone else.

"Would she have gone back for them if she was being selfish? If she were truly being selfish then she would have left to save her own skin."

Tenten was almost at a loss for words. Neji was sticking up for someone he didn't even know… Or maybe he was doing something else… Something that wasn't for the ice blue haired girl.

"Have you tried to see it her way?" Kiba asked when things had gone silent.

"No," Tenten nearly scoffed, "Why should I?"

"I think that maybe you should consider who is really the one being selfish," Kiba stated as he turned to walk away.

Neji was leaving as well, leaving Tenten alone to go home.

"Whatever," she said coldly, continuing on her way home.

I lay on the couch, still waiting for sleep. I didn't know how long it had been, but I knew that the sun was still setting. 'I should have died with them all; let things be as they should have been… But how was I supposed to know that it was going to happen? I was out training…' I winced at the memory of the massacre. Of course it was a few years ago and my memory really sucked sometimes, but this was something I couldn't forget. Life wouldn't all me to forget.

The Uchiha Clan Massacre…

I was outside the Uchiha district, training on my own on the training field. My parents were at home; my father taking care of my mother. She was pregnant and was almost due. I had to become stronger to be able to protect my soon to be sibling. I was going to become a great ninja and someone for my sibling to look up to.

Sure, it was harder to train on your own, but that was the way I wanted it to be. If it was harder then I would have to push myself more to become better. 'I have to get stronger… I don't want to let them down…' I was only half blooded with Uchiha, so the clan sort of looked down at me. I wasn't good enough to be part of the clan. There was a feeling in my stomach that drew my attention towards home. 'Why is that?' I climbed up a tall tree to see if I could see home from there.

I couldn't, but the bad feeling didn't go away. 'Something's not right… Maybe there's something wrong with mom.' Jumping down to the ground, I started to run towards home with urgency. My heart pounded in my ears as I ran. 'Why did I come all the way out here to train? Why couldn't I have just stayed closer to home?' There was the sound of a scream and it sent a chill down my spine.

"Mom!" I called once I reached near home.

So many people were lying dead on the ground, motionless and covered in blood. I felt my heart nearly stop dead. 'They're only Uchiha…' Panic automatically filled me then. 'I have to find them!'

"Mom!" I screamed again with urgency, "Dad!"

I had a feeling that I knew they were both dead.

Home came into sight and I couldn't see anyone outside. 'They're okay!' When I looked inside, I completely froze. Someone was standing over there, a dark haired figure, in front of where my mother's bed was. He was holding a bloody sword in his hand. 'Oh god… They're dead… How could he?' He turned around to look at me as I back away from the darkness of the hut. My golden eyes had a traumatized darkness over them. His eyes were the Sharingan, staring at me intently.

"Such a shame," he said quietly, "She was about to give birth."

Images of my mother and father in the house flashed to my mind and then this Uchiha stranger stalking in on them. 'Go away… Make them go away!'

"And what about you?" his voice asked me as I walked into a wall, "Are you a Uchiha as well?"

I didn't answer, just stood there with a panicking heart and a frozen face of some fear. 'Damn… They're dead and now I'm gunna die too…' By my appearance, I looked nothing like a Uchiha, more like a Snow ninja.

"No. You can't be a Uchiha. You're not trained enough to be one," he stated before he turned and continued on his way.

When he was gone, I didn't know how long I sat there for before I decided to run away. I retreated into the forest and ran until my legs couldn't carry me anymore. It took a while, but I finally reached the Land of Waves… A place where no one knew who or what I really was. The imperfect sanctuary.

Present…

I hated myself for that day. 'I'm such a coward… a little chicken shit… That's all.' My face was buried in the couch as I remembered that day. It disgusted me to no end at how I just stood there and didn't try to kill him.

"I'm nothing but a loser… A worthless piece of-"

"That's enough from you," a familiar voice told me sternly.

Sitting up slightly, I saw Kakashi standing in my kitchen, grabbing a glass from the cupboard.

"How did you get in here?" I asked him with a cocked eyebrow.

"Your door is open," he explained, turning on the tap and getting some water.

'It's not a fake this time…' Rolling my eyes, I flopped back on my stomach and buried my face in the couch cushions.

"What do you want?" I asked with some annoyance.

"I came to see how you were doing, but didn't expect you to be thinking so badly of yourself."

"Why does it matter if I'm fine or not? I'm alive and I'll heal. That's all that matters," I nearly grunted.

I really didn't care that he was in my house, drinking my water in my kitchen. I cared that he was saying he was worried about my health. I hated it coming from a guy.

"It matters because I want to determine whether you are a true ninja or not. If you can live through this then we wonder what else you can do at this age," Kakashi explained.

I could hear him taking a drink from the glass and then I heard it his the counter.

'A true ninja…'

"It takes a real ninja to complete a mission or risk their life to complete that mission. There is a test set by the Hokage to see if you are a real ninja or have what it takes," Kakashi continued, "It will take place in two days outside the Forest of Death. Come if you think you can win."

'A challenge… Isn't there one for each ninja? Doesn't a sensei determine whether or not to pass those students?'

"Don't those tests take place in a group of three students instead of just one?" I asked, trying to find the flaws of this challenge.

"There are nine students who have already passed your class in the academy. Naruto Uzumaki, Sasuke Uchiha, Sakura Haruno, Ino Yaminaka, Shikamaru Nara, Chouji Akimichi, Kiba Inuzuka, Hinata Hyuga, and Shino Aburame," Kakashi stated, listing the names, "Ten including you. Of course no one but you knows that information."

'Odd numbers… Well even numbers but you can't split us up into groups of three…'

"As you can see there's no way we could fit you all into a team of three without taking a student out," he went on, "So you can either come to the challenge alone or wait a long time for the next set of academy graduates,. It's your choice. We'll be waiting there."

Kakashi disappeared and I sighed with some relief that he was gone.

'Two days… How fast can I heal in two days? If I could get Hinata to help me then maybe I can make it there… but if I don't try to fix things with Tenten then I don't know…' I grabbed a pillow and buried the back of my head with it.

"Worthless," I whispered.

The sun was almost setting now and things still felt horrible. As I almost fell asleep, I heard a noise outside the door. 'Why is there someone here now?' With a yawn, I sat up and looked around. Things were slightly dark in the house and I groaned. 'It's probably Hinata or something…' Rolling off the couch, I stood unsteadily to my feet and slowly made my way to the door. No one had knocked, but I knew that they were there. Opening the door, I saw Kiba standing there and Akamaru asleep in his arms.

"H-hey Kiba," I said, trying to smile.

Somehow it was hard to be upset with his optimistic personality around.

"Hey Suzu, I um… pushed Akamaru too hard today… Is it alright if we stay here for a little bit?" he wondered with a cocked eyebrow.

His hood was down today.

"I guess so," I yawned, moving out of the way.

He came in and looked around the darkened room. I turned on a light before he could look my way in the dark. 'I wonder why he really came here…'

"So did you end up talking to Tenten?" I wondered as he put Akamaru on the couch.

"I couldn't find her so I got Neji to talk to her… I don't think she was too happy about it though."

'I don't understand the way she thinks… What did I do that made her so mad? Was it because I went on the trip with Hinata without her? Or is it because of what happened on the trip?'

With a sigh, I leaned against the wall. 'What worthless thing could I have done now?'

"That's just great," I whispered, closing my eyes.

"She'll get over it sometime," he said quietly, "She doesn't really hold a grudge. Tenten will learn that you're not taking Hinata away and then she'll get over it."

"That's what she thinks? That I'm taking Hinata away?" I asked, rather astounded, opening my eyes.

"She sees you as something you're not. Tenten may go over things and plan thins in her head, but she doesn't see everyone, you know?"

'I guess it does seem that way… That I'm taking Hinata away… But I don't want to take her away. I want to be friends with both of them…' Kiba turned and looked around the room. His eyes were drawn to the table and the light shining off the ninja headband.

"Oh hey, you passed?!" he asked with some amazement.

"What?" I asked with a cocked eyebrow, looking at the headband, "Oh yeah… I guess I did."

"That's so great! I didn't know they handed them out early."

"I guess Iruka Sensei didn't think that I would make it back to the academy."

'I have to fix this… and hide that stupid headband until everyone passes. I'm sure that if I apologize to Tenten and she sees that then it could only make things worse.'

"I think maybe you should head home Kiba. Akamaru seems like he's fine now, and I think I need more rest," I told him with a yawn.

"Alright, sorry," he laughed nervously, grabbing Akamaru and holding his in his arms.

I watched as he walked towards the door and I opened it for him.

"Thank you, Suzu."

"No problem."

He went outside and I closed the door. 'Now how am I supposed to fix this?'

Kiba walked outside and Akamaru opened his eyes.

"Good acting Akamaru," he smiled as he headed home.

End of Chapter 7

Hello again! So how did you all like it?! Well don't tell me here 'cause I can't hear you. Lol. You'll have to tell me in a review or something like it. :D I'm having a lot of fun with these few chapters and I have a new idea thanks to DragonCrazed. And that idea I can not tell because it gives stuff away. Lol. Well I really hope that you all enjoyed that update and that you'll all be around for when I update again the next time. :D:D Please R&R and I'll try to update when I get the chance… And I'll update ShiningSilver's Fate's Calling whenever she decides to finish the next chapter and come home. COME HOME DAMN IT! completely freaking out