I'm way off schedule, but you don't seem to mind. So, here's the mini trick-o-treat Halloween short that was supposed to be posted in October.
Disclaimer: The Plum universe belongs to JE. Typos are my bad.
"Manoso passes her around to his men. Why do you think those thugs are so hard up on 'protecting' her?" Morelli's irritatingly smug voice floated out of his booth, obviously unaware of how much his voice carried from his vicinity to the window.
We're on a Pino pizzas and subs run, suggested by Beautiful, in order to fuel up for the long cram session we have ahead before our big capture tomorrow night. Because of the lunch rush, the cute waitress told us it'd be an additional fifteen minute wait despite putting in our order by phone before Beautiful and I left Rangeman. I didn't have a problem with waiting, and neither did Beautiful from the looks of it, so I got us out of the way so the hot cashier could ring up the other pick up orders. There's a small two person booth tucked on the far side of the left corner, away from all the activity. I figured that'd be the best place for us to sit and wait for our food to be ready since it was the only open seating available. It's quite likely that no one likes to sit here due to the snug fit of the seating. Even Beautiful has little room between her thighs and the underside of the table. Regardless of the tight fit, this way we wouldn't be taking up valuable floor space needed by the staff to deliver and take orders. Since we were tucked away, the party that took the open booth on the other side of ours spoke freely thinking no one else could hear them as this mini booth isn't a popular option due to its reduced seating space and horrible lighting. Not being aware of your surroundings can be detrimental. These 'cops' should know better than that. Just because the other booths and tables are a bit spaced out from us doesn't mean that sound doesn't travel in the open space. Amateurs!
"You really think that, Morelli?" An unknown male asked. His tone told me that he was disgusted with the implication that Beautiful is basically Rangeman's real life sex doll. Morelli's words not mine. Disgusting indeed.
Morelli scoffed at the other man, before further putting his foot in his mouth yet again. "I know so." Detective Italian Mini Salchicha Energy assured.
"That was your girlfriend, man. How can you talk about her like that?" The other man felt the need to add. At least one of them finds this conversation as disgustingly nauseating as it is.
"Oh, come on. Don't tell me you're another one that's hard up for her." Morelli scoffed then grumbled before he slid out of the cushioned bench seat, passing by our booth without noticing he has an inadvertent captive audience.
"Some idiots don't know what they had even when they've lost it." The man muttered under his breath how Beautiful was too good for Morelli. I wholeheartedly agree.
"Order for Les." The cutie called our order, giving me her full on dimpled smile. I flashed her my widest grin in return, going as far as giving her a wink in parting. Taking the food from her pretty hands, I hurried off after Beautiful. She made a beeline towards our fleet SUV as soon as she saw her opening when Morelli got up to go to the restroom. Luckily, none of the Burg gossipers caught on. This made the whole thing marginally better as it was one less piece of daily Burg bullshit for Steph to deal with. I swear they have nothing better to do than to act like wannabe paparazzi when it comes to Beautiful's every move.
"Steph…" I tried to make her feel better once we were both in the privacy of the car, but she was quick to cut me off. Without words, her glassy eyes told me it wasn't a good time to broach the subject.
The drive back to Haywood was awkward. Normally, neither of us are the quiet type. Sure, it wasn't a long drive from the Burg to Rangeman but it was still not right to sit in a deafening silence.
I'd like to say that as the afternoon progressed as we immersed ourselves in our work that Stephanie rebounded back to her usual self, but sadly that wasn't the case. The others noticed right away that she wasn't her usual bright self upon returning from our Pino's run. The dirty looks they shot my way as we worked became less and less discrete the quieter Beautiful remained. It was as if she wasn't even in the room with us, her mind a million light years away.
"And that concludes our strategizing. You'll find the recap notes in the Apprehension Team's shared folder. We're meeting for a quick rundown at 1800 hours tomorrow before heading out. Got it?" Tony barked, his booming voice causing all eyes to shift in his direction. Tony, or Tony the Tiger as I like to call him in my head, has been with Rangeman Trenton for three months after joining our ranks once his military contract ended. This is his first time running lead for a distraction and given the high bounty on our mark, Tony wants to make sure all his ducks are in a row. Currently, one blue eyed curly haired duck is not quite all there right now. Knowing Tony, he'll make sure she is or Beautiful will simply be benched. Tony with his massive and intimidating look is actually a softy deep down. Super deep down, though. He's the equivalent of a humongous Teddy Bear, all soft and shit when you're on his side. He's more of a terror when you're an enemy, which is an immense win for us to have him on our side.
There was a resounding chorus of affirmative grunts to signify to Tony that we were all on the same page. When no one made a move to leave, it became obvious that Steph didn't acknowledge our end of meeting chant.
"So for that reason, I find that Guava soda tastes just like pussy juice." I blurted out, confirming my suspicion that Beautiful wasn't paying attention since she didn't blush profusely at my fun fact. Hal, on the other hand, went full on crimson. His ears nearly released smoke with how hard he blushed.
"Huh?" Beautiful blinked her big blue eyes as her head jerked to the left to look at me. "You say something?"
Meeting her mesmerizing deep blue gaze, I simply regurgitated Tony's wrap up speech.
"Oh. Uhm, yeah. Got it." Beautiful nodded, collecting her notes and rising to her feet as she assured she'd be ready for our review tomorrow. "Bye, guys." With a finger wave we know all too well and love, Beautiful headed for the glass conference room door.
"What the hell happened, Santos?" Tony's protectiveness over Steph is nothing compared to the combined concerned Rangemen also present.
I blew out a sigh while I debated whether or not I should fill them in. Due to the overwhelming encroaching of my personal space, I caved and spilled the beans verbatim.
"That hijoeputa!" Hector roared while he instinctively reached for the knife he had strapped to his utility belt. "I cut him." Hector vowed.
"No!" I blurted out, because despite Morelli being a little Burg bitch physical pain is too good for him. I feel he deserved deeper pain, the type you go through when you're constantly someone's punching bag.
"Whatchu mean, no?" Ramon was also ready to inflict pain on the TPD's loser detective.
"He needs to learn his lesson so he can finally leave Bomber alone." Cal pipped in.
"I agree." Yes, Morelli needs to back off. Sadly, he's not going to do it using our hands on approach. Nay, nay. First, he'll go crying wolf to everyone who will pay attention and given how much BS this town's given him a pass on, it'll just be flipped back to hurt Beautiful. She'll once again get splattered full of Morelli's shit. We need to mount a plan of attack that will hurt his ego, which is the one thing he really cares about.
"Humiliation, ridicule, mortification…" Binkie murmured aloud.
"Si. I like it." Hector's onboard. Sweet!
"Pieces of shit like him care about their image." Bobby flashed the room his widest grin, looking eerily sinister. "Oh it's gonna be fun watching him have an epic meltdown when he figures out we're slinging back his remark, effectively mocking his usual tirade!" Bobby clearly has read my mind, something the others haven't picked up yet.
"Wait. What are we doing?" Hal asked, feeling like he's been left out of the loop when in reality all of the others are as lost as him. He was just the only one brave enough to vocalize it.
"We're going to give Bomber the ammo needed to be able to give the Burg venomous snakes, including Morelli, a satirical self-referential nod." Bobby shared, still smiling so widely that his face looked like it was about to split in two.
"So, like returning the slap in the face?"
"How are we going to do that?"
"Fuck yeah!"
A slew of comments filled the room with noise as the guys one by one got on board.
"So, how are we going to do this?" Hal asked one more time, shifting around a bit nervously.
"Two words..." I shared my genius idea excitedly, only to rethink my word choice when the atmosphere in the room shifted.
"You little perv!" Tony and Cal jumped across the conference oval table in one fell swoop, crowding me in my seat. Before I could even blink the two had vaulted over the only barrier between us.
"Wait, wait, wait!" I squeaked as I squirmed out of their murderous grasp, putting some much needed distance between us. "Hear me out!" I pleaded, rushing to share my detailed idea before they ripped me to shreds.
The murderous glares turned to intrigue filled ones as I laid it all out.
"Halloween is around the corner, so it's perfect…" I cleared my throat when my voice threatened to break under the scrutinizing looks from my comrades. "So…" Giving the room my best flirty smile was my last ditched effort to convince the men. "…are you in?"
"HUA!" The resounding acknowledgement returned my breathing to normal. We're going to be in this together. Ha!
That night instead of heading to bed after dinner, we got together in my apartment on four. My living room was cram-packed as our operation planning began. By the time midnight rolled around, we had a plan of attack that would be epic if we executed it properly.
And what if Beautiful doesn't agree? Hmmm?!
The little voice in my head felt the need to point out. Ignoring that negativity, I shooed wannabe reasonable Lester away. He doesn't know what he's talking about, because Beautiful is so going to say yes!
AN2: What do you think the plan is? And do you think it's going to work?
*salchicha= sausage
*hijoeputa= shortened form for Son of a bitch