'I'm afraid there is nothing we can do apart from more tests. The X-rays have come back with some results but we just need to back them up, so we have a deeper understanding of the problem'.
'Thanks you doctor' my mum replied as she came back into the cubical. She looked tired and pale. She walked to the side of my hospital bed and slumped in the chair.
'Mum, are you ok?' There was no reply. 'What did the doctor say?'
'I'm fine honey. The doctors just want to do a few more tests; just to confirm the problem.'
'But mum, I don't want anymore tests…I'm scared!'
'I know sweet pea but it's the doctor's orders.' She said as she clambered onto the hospital bed and gave me a hug. The last time that I had seen mum this upset was before father died. She has put on a brave face since then. It was now that I needed to be brave, for mum.
Phil burst into the cubicle holding a tray of polystyrene coffee cups. He placed them on the bedside table; then turned to face the window. He was worried, I could tell. I let go of mum and turned to face Phil.
'Phil, are you ok?' I asked.
'I'm fine Poppy. Now leave me alone' he snapped and then stormed out of the cubical. He looked upset. Mum turned to face me.
'I better go and find him. I'll be back in a minute.' Mum climbed off the bed and ran after him.
I starred around the hospital. IT was the summer holidays and I was stuck in the children's ward at the local hospital. The walls had Disney characters painted on them. The children in the cubicles next to me thought they were amazing. I thought differently.
After a few minutes a nurse appeared around the side of the curtain.
'Hi, you must be Poppy. I'm here to take a blood sample; doctors orders'.
I stammered.
'Blood sample'.
'It will only take a minutes'. She replied.
She walked over to the other side of the bed and set up the needle and cartridges. She pulled out the parts one by one and assembled it a piece at a time. I turned to face the other way. I hate needles; but she has taken the sample before I even realised.
'Well done sweetie. Now that wasn't so bad was it? I will let you know if we need any more samples.' I closed my eyes and sighed.
She walked to the end of my bed and wrote on my clipboard. When she had finished she hung up my clipboard back at the end of my bed, put her pen in her pocket, checked her watch and left the cubicle.
I crawled to the end of the bed and picked up the clipboard. I wanted to know what was wrong with me. I wanted to know why everyone was so upset. I looked at the top sheet. The top sheet read 'patient notes for POPPY'. My hand started to shake. I flicked through the pages slowly. Wondering whether I should be doing this; I was having second thoughts. Did I really want to know what was wrong with me? I came across a page titled 'TEST RESULTS'. I scanned over the page. At the bottom of the page was a sentence wrote in neat handwriting. 'TEST RESULTS HOW THE PATIENT MAY HAVE CANCER. DIAGNOSTIC TO BE CONFIRMED'. I froze; cancer. I have cancer. Now I know why everyone was so upset. I slowly hung the clipboard back up and then crawled to the top of the bed. Maybe that's why Phil looked worried.
Father had died of cancer. He died two years ago when his cancer went undetected for months. Then when the cancer finally got diagnosed it was too late to save him. He had only weeks to live. He lived his last few weeks of life to the full. He wrote a list of things that he wanted to do before he died; and he ticked off everything on there.
I starred out of the window. The whole of the world was passing by me and I was missing it. I started to wonder whether I had made the most out of my life. I turned to my bedside table and grabbed a tissue and I pen. I spread the tissue out of my table. At the top of the tissue I wrote 'What I want to do in my life.' I started to write the list. Many of the things on the list I would not be able to do; like bungee jumping. But there was one thing I could do. Tell James that I love him
Suddenly the curtain moved and I heard a voice.