Play my Song
Theme #2: Ultra Relax

---

Remus struck the piano keys powerfully, feeling his brow scrunch in concentration as he shook his head and scribbled something off his sheet of paper before adding a different note. He nodded in satisfaction and tried the new stanza before moving on.

High above him, in a tower, his three roommates slept. Remus pressed down the left pedal with his foot and the music he produced came out far softer. He contemplated this new sound before removing his foot and retrying the stanza. He pressed down the sustain pedal and found that far better for his music—the notes resonated off the stone walls surrounding him.

"Lovely," he told no one as he finished his last stanza and looked back to observe his work. He'd been working on this song for a couple weeks now, and he was fairly pleased with it.

He'd discovered the music room in Hogwarts nearly two years ago, and it provided him a solace from the hectic nature of his life at the school for witchcraft and wizardry. Remus never claimed to be a musician, but he did enjoy the grand piano centered in the middle of the large room. As far as Remus could tell, he was the only one who used the music room. But he liked it that way. It provided him a sanctuary for which he could escape.

Now, he'd finished his song just in the nick of time. Tomorrow was the beginning of the holidays, and James had invited Peter, Sirius, and himself to his home in England for the holidays. Sirius had accepted without a moment's hesitation and Peter was quick to follow after the two larger boys. Remus had been skeptical, because of the moon issue, but, once again, his impulsive friends managed to convince him otherwise.

He played the song the whole way through and lifted his head up towards the ceiling, wondering if Sirius and the others could hear him. He played songs for them, sometimes, whether they were aware of it or not. He knew that they could hear him sometimes. A couple months ago Peter had awoken with one of his songs stuck in his head for the entire day.

Playing the music kept him relaxed and he felt free and in control when playing the music. He wished that Sirius could hear him. He finished his song.

---

"Freedom!" James and Sirius declared loudly, in unison, as they leapt off the Hogwarts Express, Peter and Remus in tow.

"This is going to be a long holiday," Remus muttered, massaging his temples.

"Moony's being a wet blanket again," Peter warned, laughter in his eyes.

James and Sirius turned around instantly to survey their hopeless friend. Remus rolled his eyes upwards, knowing that, despite his complaining, he was incredibly thankful for their presence in his life.

"Cheer up, Moony," James declared, slinging his arm around Remus' shoulder. "Relax a bit. It's the holidays!"

"It's bloody cold," Remus grumped, simply for the sake of being stubborn.

"Look, there's Mum!" James said, pointing and waving at his mother, who returned the sentiment nearly as enthusiastically as her son.

They traveled by floo powder to James' house, and the four boys thundered upstairs to find their rooms. James waved Peter into his room—the first on the left. He showed Remus to his room and Sirius to his, both the first and second on the right, respectively. Remus was surprised at how much room James' house had. But it was to be expected. James was from a very powerful and wealthy pureblood family.

"Is this good, Moony?" James asked as he opened Remus' door and showed the werewolf boy his room. Remus observed it for a moment before nodding his head and dropping his trunk at the foot of the modest bed.

"It's perfect. Thanks," Remus said and waved his friend away. James left to see if Peter and Sirius needed help. James was bad at hiding his excitement at having all three of his friends home for the holidays. In their six years of knowing each other, this had never happened.

Remus snickered to himself as he unpacked the essentials from his trunk before leaving the room and going downstairs.

James' father had come home over the course of the boys' arrivals, and he greeted Remus as he entered the kitchen. Sirius and James were already exploring the pantry for food to eat and Peter wasn't far behind Remus.

Remus looked around the kitchen and found it almost soothing in a way. He never felt at home in large places—he constantly felt like someone was watching him from the shadows—but the Potter's home was lovely and he found it charming.

"Thank you for having me," Remus said as he sat down at the table. Mrs. Potter offered Remus some tea and he took it gratefully.

The large gathering of people enjoyed tea in the kitchen when something caught Remus' eye.

"I'm sorry," Remus said as he looked towards Mrs. Potter, "but is that a piano?"

"Hm?" the woman asked and looked towards where Remus was pointing. Her face lit up. "Oh yes. I used to play when I was younger. Tell me, Remus dear, do you play?"

Remus felt eyes on him and he took a long drink from his tea, wishing to evade the question. Playing the piano was something very personal for him and he did not wish to reveal that personal sanctuary for him.

"Not very well," he said instead.

"I didn't know you played, Moony," Sirius protested, looking quite scandalized to have such information kept from him.

"Not very well," Remus said again, feeling his cheeks turn pink at the unnecessary attention from Sirius. If the boy knew he'd actually written a song for him, Remus would never live it down.

"Play something for us, Moony," James commanded in that tone he got whenever he wanted something desperately. James had a habit to always get what he wanted—sans a certain redhead—and Remus knew that he would not rest until he heard Remus play.

Remus bit his lip. "I really can't."

"Moooony…" James complained.

"May I have more tea, please?" Remus asked evasively as he turned to Mrs. Potter.

Mrs. Potter smiled benignly. "I'd like to hear you play, too, Remus dear." She poured him more tea as she spoke, "It would be lovely."

Who was he to deny the woman who'd so graciously taken him in for the holidays?

"Fine," he said, defeated. He stood up.

"Hurray!" Sirius cheered and gave Peter a high-five.

Remus moved cautiously towards the piano. He passed through the doorway and entered the elegant room parallel to the kitchen. His companions filtered in behind him, eager to see him play. Remus swallowed thickly and ran his fingers over the yellowed ivory. He pressed down on a key and a crisp note chirped in the silent room.

Remus sat down at the old piano bench and stared at the sheet music sitting before him. Classical music. He tilted his head towards his friends.

"What should I play?" he asked.

"Anything you'd like," Mrs. Potter insisted, looking pleased to see some musical creativity in the house again. She watched Remus keenly.

"All right," Remus said with a nod and reached out his hands and struck the keys. The piano was untuned, but he didn't stop to correct it. He played a quick piece he'd written a year ago, right before O.W.L.S. It was a quick, frightened song and it ended swiftly, just as Remus wanted.

He stood up.

"It's untuned," he said defensively, sure that they'd criticize him.

"That was beautiful," Mrs. Potter said delicately, and she looked like she meant it. Mr. Potter nodded his head.

"Excellent job, mate," Sirius complemented, and then was quickly distracted. "Hey, it's snowing outside!"

Remus was thankful for the change of subject. He slunk away from the piano, vowing he'd come back and tune it that night.

---

True to his promise, that night, as snow fell peacefully outside and the residents of the house were sleeping, Remus came downstairs and looked at the beautiful piano before him. With his tools in hand, Remus was ready. He licked dry lips and went to work of tuning it. He struck the keys and worked diligently for what felt like hours.

Remus hummed to himself. He realized vaguely that he was humming the song he'd written for Sirius. Perhaps he'd play that after he was done. That seemed to motivate him because he moved quickly over the cords, tightening and tuning.

"Perfect," he murmured after half an hour of working on the piano. He ran his fingertips over the ivory keys again and listened to the gentle hum of harmony issuing from the piano.

He sat down at the bench and inhaled. The gentle waning half-moon outside spilled through the window and bathed him in soft moonlight. He felt the same wave of relaxation rush over him as his fingers splayed over the keys as they had millions of times before.

He played simple songs, warming up to the piano and warming up to the songs that danced in his heart. He did not need sheet music. He'd memorized his pieces many times before. They were the mirrors of his soul, and he did not need a guiding hand to express his world through music.

"Moony?" a voice questioned behind him and Remus jumped, his palm striking down on four keys in unison and producing a wretched sound.

Remus whirled around and stared at Sirius in shock. The boy looked muddled and tired and he looked at Remus in confusion.

"I'm sorry, Padfoot, did I wake you?" Remus questioned, feeling raw and exposed.

"Nah, I wasn't sleeping," Sirius said with a dismissing wave of his hand. "I heard you walk by my room, though. I thought you were just going to the loo."

"No," Remus admitted, though it was perfectly clear that Remus was most certainly not taking care of his business in the washroom.

"What are you doing down here?"

"I was tuning the piano," Remus admitted. He'd never been able to lie to Sirius.

The said boy walked towards the werewolf and Remus stood up quickly. He swallowed as Sirius looked over at the piano and back at Remus. His long fingers struck a key and it penetrated the uneasy silence. Sirius smiled cheekily and he ruffled Remus' hair.

"You never struck me as the musical type, Moony," Sirius admitted.

"Well, Sirius," Remus said after a pregnant pause, unsure what to make of his situation. "I don't make it a habit to announce my hobbies to others."

"What were you playing?" Sirius questioned, frowning thoughtfully.

"Nothing special," Remus brushed it off. Had Sirius come in minutes later he would have witness Remus playing the song he'd written for Sirius. Though Sirius would never know the song was for him, it would have been enough to kill Remus.

"Play something," Sirius urged. He looked earnest. "I mean… if you want to."

"I… I…" Remus swallowed and offered him a tentative smile. "Okay."

Sirius perked up and moved aside so that Remus could sit down. Remus stared at the keys distantly, summing up the courage to play one of the songs from the inner sanctums of his heart for Sirius to hear. He tilted his head and looked at Sirius. The black-haired boy offered him a small, warm smile.

Remus played a song he'd written for winter. He felt it appropriate, given the fact that the moon outside was reflecting light off the newly fallen snow. All around him he could see winter and Christmas.

After he finished, the song ebbed away into nothingness.

"Geez, Moony. What song was that?" Sirius asked, amazed. He leaned over Remus' shoulder, searching for sheet music.

"I… I wrote it," Remus said after some hesitation. Sirius looked at him in surprise.

"Really?"

"Yeah… it's stupid… I know," Remus said quietly.

"It's nice," Sirius offered. Remus couldn't help but smile. "Where did you get all this creativity from, anyway, Moony?"

"I just… listen to the world and make it into music?" Remus offered lamely. He looked away. "I can't describe it. I just see or hear something and I make a song about it."

"What was this one about?"

"Winter."

Sirius nodded his head. "I see."

He paused.

"What else have you written?"

"Lots of things," Remus said offhandedly. "At least two for each season. About Hogwarts. Riding broomsticks. Walking outside in the spring. The rain. The snow. The sun. The squid."

"Us?" Sirius asked and Remus nearly choked on his breath.

"What?"

"The Marauders," Sirius clarified, looking distracted.

Remus pursed his lips. "I haven't. I've only written a song for one person."

He realized too late that he'd almost let it slip. He clapped a hand over his mouth and gave Sirius a bewildered look. The dark haired boy gave him a questioning look but Remus refused to clarify.

"Who?"

"No one," Remus said too quickly.

"Come on, you can tell me," Sirius insisted, pressing a finger to his lips. "I can keep a secret. Come on… is it a bird, or something?"

"No," Remus said hotly.

"So it's about a bloke, then."

"No!" Remus cried out defensively.

Sirius laughed. "Then who's it about, Moony? If it's not a bird or a bloke? Is it a ghost, then? Are you writing songs for Nearly Headless Nick?"

"It's about you, okay?" Remus snapped then realized what he said. "Oh, bullocks."

He turned his head away and nearly smashed his forehead against the piano. He'd vowed never to tell anyone—especially Sirius—about the song he'd written for him. Hopefully Sirius wouldn't inquire too deeply into the seemingly romantic act of writing a song for him. Remus' cheeks turned red.

"You wrote a song for me?" Sirius asked, surprised. Then, he smirked. "Am I not a bloke, Moony?"

"Shut up, Sirius," Remus muttered to his hands as he hid his face.

"Play it," Sirius commanded. How could Remus say no to a voice like that?

"I don't want to," Remus said, trying his hardest to resist against the wonderment that was Sirius. Sirius persisted however, and even went so far as to tug on Remus' light brown hair. "Hey! Ow! Damn it, Sirius, cut it out."

"Play it," Sirius said again. "Or I'll tell everyone that you wrote me a song."

"Sirius!" Remus protested, looking quite scandalized. Sirius wouldn't sway, however, and continued tugging on Remus' hair.

Remus, to his credit, put up a valiant effort to resist Sirius, but the young man was unrelenting, and once he got his eyes on something he seldom released his hold on it. Remus, righteously frustrated, could do nothing to protect himself.

"Fine," Remus snarled, feeling enraged.

He turned back to the keys and glared at them, as if they had helped assist Sirius in his pursuit of getting Remus to play the piano. Sirius, grinning like the cheeky bastard he was, stepped closer to watch Remus play. The said werewolf surveyed his surroundings a bit, determining that after he played this song something would shift between them. Remus' entire heart and soul was in his song, and he didn't doubt that Sirius would hear it.

Remus inhaled sharply, trying to calm himself down.

'Relax,' he told himself smoothly as he brushed his pale fingertips over equally pale keys. 'This is Sirius. He's your friend, no matter what.'

Clearing his throat, he glanced at Sirius. "I'm sorry if you don't like it," he apologized, "it's kind of bad."

"Nah," Sirius insisted, though he had not yet heard the song. He smiled. "I'm sure it's perfect."

Remus closed his eyes and felt a wave of calm overflow within him and drown him. He greeted it happily, not wishing to feel the repercussions of playing this song. He almost forgot Sirius was there. He was alone.

He played his song.

His fingers danced over the keys, producing the softest of songs Remus had ever created. He couldn't describe the song. All it was… it was all… it was all for Sirius.

Sirius.

Remus' eyes remained shut as he played the song from memory. He'd played it so many times. He'd written it so long ago, it seemed like a century. This entire song was for Sirius. He wrote it for Sirius. And now he played it for Sirius.

Sirius stared at him, his lips parted in thought as he watched the way Remus ebbed and flowed in time with the song. He couldn't describe the feelings dancing inside him, screaming out for the young man who played this song. His heart cried out for a companion.

And it tickled something inside his mind. It seemed familiar. It seemed safe.

It sounded like a sad song. A lonely song. There was something inside the notes, searching for someone to sing with. Sirius could hear the downhearted notes weaving between the softest pinpricks of fervor. It melded together and produced the most beautiful song Sirius had ever heard.

There was so much in theses notes.

"I've heard this before," Sirius realized and marveled as he watched his werewolf friend play the piano perfectly. Remus' eyes were closed as his long fingers brushed over the ivory keys as if it were nothing.

The music filled the room and it was more beautiful than anything Sirius had heard before. Perhaps because Remus was the one playing and not some old, dead guy like Mozart or Beethoven.

Remus' fingers flew over the keys; never striking a wrong note and making it look like child's play. Sirius couldn't understand how the boy could move his fingers so quickly—they seemed to be moving faster than Sirius could think.

"I've heard this before," Sirius said again, inching closer to the boy playing the piano.

Remus didn't open his eyes. He smiled sweetly and delved into the music. "Of course you have."

Sirius looked at the boy thoughtfully. "What do you mean?"

"There is a music room in Hogwarts," Remus said matter-of-factly. His words seemed to be punctuating the power in the music. "And when someone is playing it—if it is quiet enough and one is not hard of hearing—it can be heard from our dormitory."

"How would you know that?" Sirius asked.

"Well," Remus said, as he continued to play, his voice a soft sing-song accompanying the beautiful music flowing in the room. "I wrote this song. I've only played it at night when everyone is asleep. And you've heard it before. Thus, you must have been sleeping and heard it while I was playing."

Sirius sat down on the piano bench next to Remus, watching in wonderment as the soft piano playing soothed his heart and left him feeling nostalgic. The music Remus produced was magic, and Sirius knew that it had nothing to do with wizardry.

Remus' smile widened and he continued to play with a flourish, his eyes still shut as he felt the music flowing through his veins. Sirius swallowed and leaned forward, observing Remus' profile.

He heard everything in this song. He could hear every little note that Remus had worked over. He could see something in Remus' serene face. It was there. It'd been there all along.

Inhaling deeply, he leaned forward and pressed his lips against Remus. This moment was a magical moment.

The song continued and Sirius' lips stayed against Remus'. Remus continued to play his song but it didn't sound quite so melancholy anymore. There was a slight uplifting note dancing in-between the notes and Sirius felt Remus press back against him.

Sirius pulled away slowly. Remus was still smiling peacefully and, slowly he opened his eyes. The beautiful honey depths stared at Sirius lightly before he grinned, flashing pearly white teeth.

"Really, Sirius," Remus said as he struck the last key and the room ebbed away into silence. He lifted his hands from the ivory keys and touched his cheek. "Couldn't you have waited for me to finish my song?"

Sirius, still grinning like a fool, leaned over and kissed Remus again.