Dodging Hexes
Theme #6: Lady, Lady, Lady

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It was a warm, bright sunny day. The kind that beckoned students like a moth to the flame. Remus, personally, preferred the library or the dormitories, where he could concentrate without the bothersome need to socialize with anyone other than Sirius, James, and Peter. The warm early summer air stirred a sense of urgency in him, but that may be because of the moon.

Today, however, as the time of their fifth year drew to a close, Remus couldn't help but feel grateful that his friends had dragged him outside to enjoy the sunshine. Provided there was shade accessible. He felt fairly comfortable without some little bit of shade. Despite the loud talking surrounding him from all angles, Remus felt a strange peaceful feeling overflow him.

Everywhere he turned he could see congregations of students as they celebrated their weekend and no classes. Naturally, the Marauders were enjoying a wonderful afternoon planning their newest mischief. At least, that was the plan.

Sirius was doing most of the talking. James seemed otherwise preoccupied, looking off in the opposite direction and ruffling his hair. Peter listened to every word Sirius said with growing enthusiasm and excitement. Remus listened politely.

"And then, somehow, there would be this endless supply of red spots…"

Remus sat leaning against the tree, reading the newest of his books, happy for an excuse not to enter into the conversation of the newest 'Let's Make Snape's Life a Living Nightmare' plans. He sighed dreamily and turned a page in his large tome peacefully, wishing he had the courage to interfere with the marauder's plans, but knowing that he wouldn't, despite his prefect status.

"I've even created an excellent alibi, just in case… you remember last time…"

Some short ways away, a group of girls were chatting with one another. Even from far away, Lily's long, red hair distinguished her amongst the crowd like a beacon in the furthest reaches of the ocean. James, naturally, was too preoccupied making himself presentable to give a bother about what Sirius was saying.

"Then, bam, there would be an explosion of…"

Sirius either didn't mind James' lack of enthusiasm or didn't even notice, because he was quite content with just continuing to talk. Remus rolled his eyes behind the safety of his book, James made small little grunts while feigning interest, and Peter looked ready to hyperventilate from the excitement of Sirius' master planning.

Among the group of girls, there were a couple who were watching Sirius with such adoration and admiration in their eyes that it was any wonder that Sirius hadn't fallen over from an overly inflated ego. But Sirius rarely looked at the girls who fawned after him like he was an idol.

"And we'd disappear under James' cloak, of course…"

Really, Remus had to wonder where all that air came from. Probably from his head. Remus had to wonder how Hogwarts could harbor both of James' and Sirius' egos under one roof without imploding from the sheer amounts of hot air. But that was a bit of their charm, Remus reasoned, and also gave him a good reason to remain modest and tame.

Sirius seemed to be coming to an end of his plans, however, and Remus realized vaguely that he'd only been listening to half of what Sirius was saying. Sadly, he found his book on ancient runes far more interesting then how to turn Snape's hair a bright pink—no matter how amusing the proposal was—and knew that he'd suffer the brunt of Sirius' annoyance.

Sure enough, Sirius fixed Remus with one of his impossibly needy looks.

"Moony," Sirius whined and Remus realized, with some distaste, that the displeased teen had discovered he wasn't listening. "Answer my question."

He'd asked a question? Remus hadn't realized.

Remus looked at Sirius for a long moment, his honey colored eyes barely registering what was around him aside from his friend. Remus frowned thoughtfully then shrugged in an indistinguishable sort of way.

"Moony," Sirius said again, and then seemed to give up on Remus. He waved his hand in a dismissing manner, which prompted another eye roll from the werewolf. Sirius huffed, then nudged James. "Can you believe our dear friend Moony, Prongs?"

"Uh huh," James said, clearly not listening to a word his three friends said, so engrossed in the simplest way the wind blew Lily's hair to the side.

"I think it's a good idea, Padfoot," Peter piped up when neither James nor Remus rose to the occasion. Sirius beamed down at his smallest friend and clapped the boy on the back.

"Atta boy, Pete, knew I could count on you," Sirius declared happily then gave Remus and James both looks. "Unlike some people."

"Uh huh," James said, still not listening.

"I think you're overreacting, Padfoot," Remus admitted, finally looking away from Sirius and returning to his book, wishing he could drift back off into that peaceful land of fairytales and written word.

Padfoot, it seemed, would have no such thing for his dearest Moony. "This is where you come up with a brilliant way to execute such a plan, Moony."

"Uh huh," James agreed and for a brief moment Remus believed that James was actually listening and was only messing with Sirius to get the boy's knickers in a bunch.

Remus sighed and shut his book. Obviously he would not be getting any more reading done that day. Setting the heavy, worn tome aside he folded his arms across his chest and looked back to Sirius, who, in turn, was watching him expectantly.

"Today's a nice day," Remus said evasively.

Sirius snorted. "Moony…"

Remus sighed and picked up his book again, wishing he could just go back to the library, where he could have happily spent his days, despite the warmth of sunlight caressing his cheeks. Far beyond him he could make out the glassy surface of the lake, and pondered the idea of dipping his large feet in it.

He crinkled his nose. "I don't think…"

"Ah, come on, Moony," Peter piped up, siding up to Sirius, as he was often prone to do whenever Sirius or James spoke. Remus brushed his light brown hair away from his eyes and sighed.

"Use a dung bomb," he said half-heartedly.

"That's been done so many times," Sirius protested, taking Remus' excuse to stop talking as seriousness. "Use that brain of yours, Moony."

"Use two dung bombs," Remus countered, if only to be disobedient.

"Ho ho, make way," James joked, finally prying his hazel eyes away from Lily in time to give Remus a cheeky grin. "Moony has been working over time in there."

To demonstrate where the 'in there' was, James leaned over and knocked on Remus' head much as if he were knocking on a door. Remus huffed and sat up a bit straighter, as if in his own small way actively rebelling against James. James just laughed and Sirius joined in with his own hearty chuckle.

"Well," James said, standing up and ruffling his already messy black hair. "I'm off to make her mine."

There was no question as to whom the boy referred. Sirius grinned cheekily and gave his friend a thumbs up, while Peter squeaked and clapped his hands together, and Remus offered his dear friend a tiny, hesitant smile of someone who didn't quite believe the words.

"Good luck, mate," Sirius said skeptically, eyeing the redhead on the other side of the expanse of grass they were sitting on. Lily glanced over in their direction when James stood up before huffing and looking away. "You're going to need it."

"That's the spirit!" James said, giving a dramatically scandalized look. "Thanks for the support, Padfoot."

"You're welcome," Sirius countered, for lack of anything wittier to say.

"There he goes," Remus said, watching James sway his way over to Lily and her group of friends. The girls giggled and turned to watch Lily as the said redhead gave James the coldest look she could muster. "You have to admire his persistence."

"Obsession's more like it," Sirius muttered, scratching the back of his neck. He shifted so he was sitting beside Remus and leaning against the tree. "I think that our friend James may be a masochist, Moony, Wormtail."

Peter sighed, for it truly was a loss. Sirius laughed at Peter's good timing and clapped him on the back again. Remus gave a small snigger before returning to his book. He glanced over at James while pretending to read, however.

Sure enough, once James started talking to Lily, the girl gave him some of her deadliest looks and spoke in what appeared to be clipped words, completely shooting the tall boy down. At one point she even reached for the wand inside her robes.

"You do have to admire him, though," Sirius said with a tiny sigh as he shifted, his shoulder bumping against Remus' own. Remus glanced up from a particularly interesting paragraph in his book and watched the interaction between girl and boy. "Being so true to her and her alone. How long's it been since he's chased that bird, you think?"

"Since second year, even before he knew what hormones were," Remus muttered.

Sirius laughed and flashed Remus a large smile. Remus returned it, his eyes lighting up in a way only Sirius knew.

"Oh, she's already on the hexes," Sirius commented as James ducked from a well directed spell from Lily's wand. James laughed loudly, and his voice carried back over to the tree where the remaining group awaited his return.

"Indeed," Remus agreed. He turned a page in his book idly. "Now let me read."

"Not until you tell me how to execute my plan," Sirius said stubbornly. "And say anything about dung bombs and you'll be visiting the squid."

Remus bumped his elbow against Sirius, content when he heard a small grunt from the larger boy's direction. He tried to ignore Sirius as best he could, but ignoring a boy like Black was like trying to ignore the last pumpkin tart on the plate. Sirius made a small noise that could have been a whine.

"Mooooony," he complained when the said boy refused to offer any information to help Sirius' brilliant plan.

"Set something on fire," Remus said sarcastically before giving Sirius a skeptical look. "Actually, you'd actually do that. So scratch that."

"Moony!"

"Sirius, if you're such a genius when it comes to pranks, I think that you'd have the ability to come up with your own plans," Remus said logically and saw Peter give a small jerk of his head in agreement. "Try using the space between your ears for a change."

"You wound me," Sirius said dramatically.

"Give it a rest," Remus muttered, though a smile quirked his lips. "You're giving me a headache."

"Fear not, for I shall soon die of heartache, cruel Remus," Sirius said melodramatically and flailed his arms about before flopping over. He feebly grasped Peter's robes and gasped out a quick, "Alas, Wormtail… Avenge me!"

"What's wrong with Sirius?"

Evidently James had returned—unsuccessful. He flopped down in the grass again and watched his best friend make a spectacle of himself. He shoved his foot into Sirius' side and suddenly the boy's crocodile tears ceased.

"Prongs!" he exclaimed, as if he weren't already aware that his best friend had returned. Remus rolled his eyes and turned away, trying to finish the chapter in his book. "Thank goodness you're back. Moony was killing me with his cruel and heartless stabbing words. Luckily I have great self-esteem, unlike my not-as-amazing cohorts."

"We can't all be as amazing as you, Sirius," Remus muttered sarcastically.

"See what I mean? Even his compliments are double-edged swords!" Sirius proclaimed loudly, rousing the attentions of surrounding students. The girls gave Sirius longing looks but the boy promptly ignored them, so intent on being melodramatic.

"Relax, my friend," James said valiantly, quickly falling into the role Sirius laid out for him. "For while dodging cleverly produced hexes from my lovely Lily, I realized the perfect way to execute your plan."

"Hurray!" Sirius said, looking almost boyishly innocent for a moment before Remus remembered why Sirius was celebrating in the first place.

"Yes, it came to me in a moment of pure, unrestrained genius," James said loudly as he grasped Sirius's shoulder with one hand while sweeping the other one out in front of him as if he were going to grab something invisible from the air. "And I must say, it is quite genius."

"Oh, Prongs, to think I doubted you!" Sirius said, equally as loud.

Remus felt his dimming sanity slip away and sadly shut his book. It was impossible to do anything productive (sans pranks) when with his best friends. Rolling his eyes heavenwards he turned towards his melodramatic friends with a frown.

"While I'm pleased to see a resolution to such a problem," Remus said dryly, "would you blokes mind shutting up? You're giving me a piercing headache."

"Alas, Prongs, my friend," Sirius said, while grinning cheekily at Remus, "I believe that we have a nonbeliever in our midst."

James gasped, as if he were really surprised. Remus wondered how he could possibly be friends with these people.

"If you two don't shut up, it won't only be Lily's hexes you'll be dodging," Remus muttered.

"I believe I heard a threat!" James said louder still.

"I believe you heard correctly," Sirius barked.

Remus rolled his eyes again. He saw where this is going.

"Shun the nonbeliever!" the two boys said loudly and did quite the opposite as they tackled Remus to the ground, his heavy book going flying. Remus yelped in surprise but had no time to grab his wand and defend himself.

There was no living with boys.