Midnight Blessings
Theme #26: Beautiful Dreamer

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There were many things that Remus envied in Sirius. There were many characteristics Remus wished he had while Sirius seemed to portray them without the slightest bit of effort. Sirius' boisterous ability to entertain, for one thing. Sirius' capability of winning the hearts of all his classmates. Sirius' sense of humor. Sirius' passion for life. These were just things that Remus wished he, too, possessed.

On this particular night, Remus wished he had Sirius' ability to fall asleep so completely and quickly. He sat in the silent dorm room, watching the snow fall outside the window and accumulate on the school grounds.

He sighed, listening to James' soft breathing on the other side of the room, and Peter's tiny snores across from him. To his left he could just make out the soft curve of Sirius' jaw line through the crack in his richly red curtains.

Remus envied the way Sirius could fall asleep before his head even hit the pillow. All four of the boys slept differently.

Peter had atrocious sleeping habits. It took him a bit to fall asleep, and when he did he would roll around from side to side, tangling up in his blankets and somehow managing to kick his pillow off of his bed. James fell asleep slowly, but always managed to do so about half an hour after going to bed. He somehow managed to sleep face down, with his face pressed firmly into the pillow. Remus was by far the worst out of the four boys. Even when Remus somehow managed to fall asleep, he would always be on alert, hearing the tiniest of sounds from the outside world. Remus never stayed asleep for long. He found that he didn't need sleep that much, and would spend his nights studying and reading. His friends were concerned with the bags under his eyes, but aside from the heavy black under his golden eyes, Remus never felt any side effects from his terrible sleeping habits.

But Sirius. Sirius was a completely different story. He fell asleep instantly, and when he did fall asleep, he never moved. He would lie on his stomach with his head turned to the side, his cheek resting daintily on his pillow. Sometimes he would snore, if it were hay fever season, but the majority of the time he would just breathe deeply. His back would move up and down serenely, and whenever Sirius forgot to close his curtains because he was too tired, Remus would watch the rising and falling of his back and find it soothed him tremendously. Seeing Sirius so peaceful somehow always managed to put Remus to sleep.

With a demure smile, which hardly suited Remus' facial features, Remus stood and strolled towards Sirius' bed. He would not be sleeping tonight, he knew, but did not find the general urge to study and read as he often did. No, his tomes would rest for tonight, and his studies would go untouched. It was like this most nights.

On the nights when Remus could not bring himself to study and read, nor could he find the proper way to dreamland, Remus would sit on Sirius' bed. At times, Remus would be overcome with embarrassment knowing he was watching his friend sleep in a not-so-platonic way. But Sirius comforted him, and in his times of need, that was truly the only thing Remus wanted.

He swallowed thickly and brushed aside the curtains as he had many nights before. Sirius didn't even stir, but Remus knew he wouldn't. Sirius never moved when he slept. On the other side of the room, Peter turned over and his pillow plopped to the floor but this was hardly a cause for concern. In his bed, James muttered something to his pillow, but that, too, was no cause for concern.

Remus sat down on the side of Sirius' mattress and watched the way his back moved up and down. How could this boy make him feel so peaceful?

There was always an advantage to falling asleep after everyone else. Remus allowed himself one rare, unguarded smile. He spent so many of his days on guard and evasive. But with Sirius, he felt as if he could be himself, if only in the dead of night.

He reached out a tentative hand and traced his fingertips over Sirius' back as he had many nights before this one. Light as a feather's touch, Remus moved his finger in elaborate designs, as if he were casting a spell without a wand.

At first, as always, the touches are no more than a physical, undeniable reminder that he was there and Sirius was there. The simple bridging of two worlds—a dark creature and his friend. It didn't take long for it to transform, however, as it always did. Eventually Remus'touches evolve into intricate tracings of spells for various blessings and protection.

It was highly advanced charm-work that Remus took great pride in. He knew he was a talented wizard, as his professors and friends never failed to tell him, but only Sirius was granted his silent charms.

His finger traced over Sirius' bare back and moved over designs etched into memory. He'd done these charms so many times before, it was second nature to him.

Tonight he traced charms for long life, strength, and happiness. Sirius desreved to live long, strong enough to protect himself. And happy. Even if Sirius never returned Remus' hidden thoughts, as long as Sirius was happy, Remus was happy. Sirius' happiness was Remus' happiness.

But that couldn't keep Remus from dreaming.

He felt the magic flow through his hands and he pulled his hand back, feeling frightened. He did not know how Sirius would react to knowing Remus did this in the dead of night. He never knew with Sirius. Sirius was as predicatable as a tropical storm.

Remus pressed his hand flat against Sirius' back and leaned over, feeling and listening to Sirius' soft breathing. His eyes softened and he pressed his lips against Sirius' temple.

"Sweet dreams," he murmured, as he did every night. He felt magic flow through his hand as he gave Sirius his final midnight blessing.

Sirius didn't shift in his sleep, but he seemed to relax under Remus' touch and the shadow of a smile dawned on Sirius' lips.

Remus felt his heart throb and the magic cease. He could never achieve something as wonderful as Sirius' love, but that didn't mean he couldn't imagine a world where it was possible.

His final blessings of long love completed, Remus pulled away and retreated silently to his bed. He would not sleep tonight. He never could.

His heart pounded and he dreamed of falling asleep beside Sirius.