Chapter 8

The Price of a Heartbeat

If there was a moment when it hurt to hear yourself think or even just to hear your own voice inside your head, then the moment had to be the one that a person went through when they had a scrape with death.

What had surprised Anakin more than anything wasn't that he was alive now, it was the creatures who had suddenly came down next to where he'd fallen after his tumble off the cliff in their angular ships that looked like serpents but thicker and wider, certainly shorter than a real serpent since these were ships. But for all visual purposes the ships were like flying serpents. So when the ship hovered next to Anakin and a strange creature that looked like a cross between a blue sea creature and a faun hopped next to him on the ledge below the cliff said "If you want to live, do as I say and then follow me to my ship the Flying Serpent," Anakin found himself not surprised at the ship's name but that the only thing he had to do was hold still while the creature put its webbed hand on Anakin's forehead and Anakin's mind went blank and started to hurt. Then he'd followed the creature onto the ship as it leveled with the small ledge.

Anakin found that he was lucky to have fallen on the ledge or that there was a ledge there at all. The fall had broken his wrist and possibly a rib or two, but other than that, Anakin felt he was glad to have fallen onto something solid instead of into the seemingly endless abyss below the ledge.

Once on the ship of the strange faun-like creatures he was brought to a medical room on board and examined.

The faun he'd met on the ledge came into the room and said, "You will be healed, Jedi. We have good medical supplies at our base. But you must trust us."

Anakin didn't think he had much of a choice, it was that or go back to the Yuuzhan Vong base where he was sure he'd be killed eventually if not immediately. He was in too much pain to say much of anything though. He had used the force to block out most of the pain but now it was returning because Anakin no longer had the strength to suppress it.

"I am Synthor." The Faun, that Anakin now knew as Synthor said without waiting for Anakin to ask any questions, "And we are a race called Sytars. We are usually aquatic but times have changed that situation for us."

Synthor wrung his hands together in what Anakin took as a meditative and thoughtful gesture. "To be sure, we are not in immediate danger since our species is quite far from any planet under siege but our water supplies are often on planets ravaged by the Yuuzhan Vong. We live both on land and water, so we need both." Synthor sighed, "Of course, we are not so selfish as to think this conflict would not include us if it were not for the supplies we need. We wish to end their regime. It is an insult to the water gods. They would poison the waters with their bodies that are so mutilated, their birth eggs are no longer decipherable."

The other Sytars nodded in agreement with Synthor's statement. Synthor's eyes widened in excitement as he spoke his next words to Anakin.

"Also, we have long known stories about the Jedi. They are honorable warriors and have been disgraced. We have been traveling to find out more able the Jedi and to join forces. When we came across this base, we intended to simply destroy what we could but it seemed more logical to rescue you as soon as we saw your lightsaber. A Jedi on our side could turn the war in the favor of those who rightfully live here." He smiled, "We are honored to have you here, friend JedI."

"I'm Anakin Solo." Anakin managed to say. Synthor bowed.

"An honor to meet one of the Solo family. We know of your parents and siblings. We have heard of your heroics as well. Most impressive. As soon as you have healed we must take the time to brief you on our race and how we wish to help the Jedi. Also we are going to take a long time to gather our forces at the base. Not all our race is at this one base. Until we are, we cannot leave for risk of revealing our location to the Yuuzhan Vong."

Anakin couldn't respond, one of the doctors had given him anesthetic and he fell asleep to the hum of the ship as it shot into hyper space.

Jacen sat across the table from his sister. They had managed to evade the Yuuzhan Vong by jumping ahead into hyperspace. It was a short get away but it gave the twins time to reflect, even if it was only for a short amount of time.

Their friends were long asleep, but they had decided to talk while the ship was in a brief jump. They'd both felt it. The gap was unmistakable. A place where their younger brother's presence should be.

"I don't know what happened." Jacen said finally.

Jaina sighed, "I don't either."

"Wasn't a friend of Uncle Luke's supposed to find him?"

Jaina gritted her teeth. "Yeah, but the Yuuzhan Vong probably got in the way." Nothing made her madder than to think her younger brother had been killed because the Yuuzhan Vong were brutal killers with no mercy.

"We'll probably get full details when we get back." Jacen pointed out, though he wasn't enthusiastic about it.

"I'm not sure I want to hear them." Jaina muttered, resting her head on her arms. He shared his sister's bitterness. Anakin's death had come suddenly in the middle of the night and they both came out of their rooms to see if they'd felt wrongly. It was correct because the empty feeling was mutual and they knew it was only a matter of time before their mother, Leia, called them to seek comfort in the tough tragedy.

"It's murder, that's what it is." Jacen suddenly snapped, pounding the table. Jaina looked over at her brother's sudden burst of anger. "He's our little brother. I don't care how old anyone else is, he's still young and those Vong bastards murdered him!" Jacen stood up and rested his head against the wall for a minute. "I'm going to bed."

"Night." Jaina said. Though she guessed neither of them would be getting any sleep that night. Jaina too returned to her room. She laid back on her bed, not bothering to pull back the blanket or sheets.

Anakin. The brother that had longed to go study at the Jedi Academy and loved puzzles. Anakin. The person that was quiet and reserved but more loving and caring than anyone else. He wanted more than anything to be seen as an adult and struggled to become a stronger person through his life. It was hard to believe that such a person wasn't able to live another day, that, like Jacen had said, he was murdered. Jaina blinked and rubbed her eyes. Anakin, the smiling blue eyed boy who embraced his name and made it clear he wasn't going to end up like his grandfather. If their father had only told Anakin that he too thought that Anakin was more than just a quiet kid, that he was "their kid," Jacen and Jaina's kid brother and the kid of Han and Leia. Their only youngest son.

Her door opened a crack as Zekk came in. She didn't get up as he came to sit on her bed. She didn't have to ask why he was there. Her emotions were probably spilling all over the place at the moment. Instead of saying anything consolatory, which was not really in Zekk's nature, he just sat with her. A strong support if Jaina needed it and she knew she did. But at the moment she just wanted to sit there. Zekk reached over and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, sending force vibes to let her know he was there, then got up. Jaina smiled at him and fell back onto the bed.

Jacen had fallen asleep but in ten minutes he was awake again, in a cold sweat. Anakin had come to him in his dream, silent and sad as ever, his words slow and labored. "Jacen, tell dad I'm sorry. Please. I can't tell him now." Jacen's eyes opened and he rubbed his face. He made his way to the bathroom and sprinkled water on his face.

As if to spite them, the alarm in the cockpit went off and Jacen ran in to see a Yuuzhan Vong fleet of coral skippers through the view port. His fury at them mounted as he threw himself down into the gunner's seat. This time he wasn't going to care how he killed them. As long as he did. Murderers. He thought and opened fire.

The Sytars did have excellent medical care. But Anakin could not have guessed that recovering from serious wounds could be so dull and boring. He had to lie in bed while they took tests and also while they removed the poison from his bloodstream with an antidote.

The antidote was what interested Anakin. Synthor had said it had come from an sea plant that was so far down that only Sytars, since they had gills, could reach. Anakin also learned that the hooves of the faun part of the Sytars turned into webbed feet for swimming as soon as they touched water. Anakin would have found this more interesting if he knew how long he'd have to recover and wait until he'd go back to his home.

The most perplexing part was why no one had tried to find or contact him. He was still alive and everyone would have felt it if he'd died, so why wasn't anyone trying to find him? Had he really hurt his family that much?

Anakin could not find anything less lonely than being in a camp where he was a Jedi who was respected and almost revered, but no one knew anything about his family or how he could contact them. He'd almost been afraid to ask. Any time he tried to reach out with his mind into the force, his head throbbed and he almost passed out from pain. It was strange because that had never happened before.

Anakin had also seen that the area where the Yuuzhan Vong leader had stabbed him was discolored despite that the antidote was administered. The doctor, Genthor, had told Anakin that this was unavoidable as the antidote did not remove the poison, it just neutralized it so it wasn't lethal. Anakin still felt pain in that area, something else that Genthor had said was a side effect. The antidote wasn't perfect, it only prevented death, not pain.

Perfect for the Yuuzhan Vong, Anakin thought. They still get to torture me. Nothing would have made Anakin happier than to see the leader of the Yuuzhan Vong killed, slowly and without mercy. The brute deserved it.

After a week of recovery, Anakin was still sore about what the Yuuzhan Vong leader had said. "You are not like the other Jedi… you have anger." That was made him strong? Anakin wasn't sure any more. In the past he would have denied the idea outright, immediately stating that he couldn't be strong if he kept on getting mad at anyone who got close to him. Yet when he fought the Yuuzhan Vong, hating them with every nerve in his body, he was strong enough to defeat the three warriors. He had the leader down and was going to kill him but something stopped him.

Anakin knew whatever it was that had stopped him must be his weakness. His hesitation to finish off the brutal Yuuzhan Vong who, despite that they were not the exact ones that had been at Serpindal, were still responsible for Chewbacca's death. They were the reason Anakin was in pain and wanting revenge. Before then, revenge never would have crossed his mind.

Anakin took a seat outside despite that the heat was coming down on him, and he'd probably get a sun burn like no other. At the moment, Anakin cared very little about what happened to him.

Even if the Sytars had brought him here and saved his life, Anakin still felt like an empty shell, a corpse with no feelings left and numbed pain. All the times he'd spent wandering around the Academy on Yavin 4 seemed far away. The jungle and its many paths winding through to the temple that they studied in and the temple where Anakin and Tahiri had freed the Massassi children from the Golden Globe.

Tahiri. Anakin's best friend in the entire galaxy. She probably hated him for running away and hurting his family. Anakin's face cracked a wry smile. She should hate me, Anakin thought, I haven't really talked to her since I left to fight the Yuuzhan Vong. I only visited once and even then I only stayed a week.

He had felt strange around her lately anyways. Maybe it was because they were apart so much they found very little to talk about. Tahiri filled the conversations with news but Anakin found he couldn't say anything, and it wasn't because he had nothing to say, he just didn't know if he could say it to Tahiri.

Anakin knew he wasn't the same person he was when he left the Academy last. He'd grown taller and his mind was more focused on the Yuuzhan Vong than the force. Nothing filled up his thoughts and gave him satisfaction than to come up with ideas to wipe the Yuuzhan Vong out of existence and the feeling that it was right even if these beings were part of the force, though they could not be felt, Anakin felt right in thinking their eradication would be no loss to anyone and it would give him peace of mind.

But that wouldn't solve the fact that Anakin couldn't face his best friend. If he did such a thing, he would never be able to face his best friend. It seemed like the only solution that made sense, though. He reminded himself grudgingly.

More than anything else, Anakin knew the idea of complete elimination in an instant, despite how relieving it would be for the galaxy, he couldn't forget who was the last person who had that power in his hands. In fact, it was impossible to forget that your grandfather was the one responsible for destroying the Jedi around the galaxy, killing them one by one until only the a few scattered were left. Anakin couldn't forget that he was named for the person who coldly allowed Grand Moff Tarkin to blow up his mother's home planet, Alderaan.

"I wish I'd never been born at all," Anakin said softly, a sad smile on his face, "That way, no one would have to worry about whether or not I became like my grandfather. My parents would have peace of mind." There wouldn't have to a second Vader who was responsible for wiping out the Yuuzhan Vong and because he couldn't stop, the rest of the galaxy. Maybe the only thing that needs to disappear is my own existence, Anakin thought. It's so small and when it's gone I don't need to keep thinking I really am Vader incarnate.

It seemed silly to think those kinds of thoughts, but Anakin knew there was truth in them. His mother had probably named him to try to take away the evil in his grandfather's history, but she had no idea that some part of Anakin admired his grandfather's will to do what he believed at the time was right. Just as Anakin now believed that the he should just go wipe out the Yuuzhan Vong. That hatred somehow felt like the right thing when it left someone who was already numb from pain, full of life.

A life that was revived to do the one thing Anakin did not want to do now: wait.