Waiting for You
Theme #19: Mirror

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James thought he was mad. Stark raving mad.

Well, James could think what he wanted. They'd had a particularly big fight during fifth year, just after the prank, and by now Sirius was fairly certain that James accepted Sirius' non-platonic feelings for Remus. Sirius hadn't meant to tell James about it, really, but it happened to slip out during the summer after the prank—where Remus refused right out to have anything to do with Sirius and the said boy, naturally, was quite distressed.

Of course, now, in their seventh year, James thought he was crazy to still have a crush on Remus. Sirius thought this a bit hypocritical of his friend, who'd nursed an almost unhealthy infatuation with Lily since second year. James rebutted this argument by saying that he was actually going out with Lily now, after much flirting and effort, whereas Sirius was still at square one—the exact same square he'd been in since he first realized he liked Remus.

But, James could think what he wanted. Sirius, though slightly disappointed that nothing had happened with Remus so far, was content with having Remus by his side. During that impossibly long summer in which Sirius was unsure he'd ever speak to Remus again, he'd been beside himself with depression.

So their relationship wasn't the stereotypical budding romance. Sirius felt such things were petty and overrated. The expression of love was all in the gestures, in Sirius' humble opinion.

There would be moments when Remus and Sirius' eyes would meet and it was perfect. There would be moments when the two were in perfect alignment and agreement, as if they were the same entity. There would be moments when they would just fit.

Sirius was fairly confident in his feelings for Remus, but Sirius knew that Remus wasn't nearly as accepting of his own feelings as Sirius would have liked. Remus was apprehensive about all things social and didn't like to think about such things.

Remus was afraid of taking steps forward. Sirius knew this quite well. He'd tried in the past to warm Remus up to the idea, and while Remus wasn't unwilling, he most certainly wasn't jumping into Sirius' arm like a delirious, love-stricken female.

Sirius didn't mind waiting. Remus was flighty at times, and he didn't like to acknowledge things that were happening, but that was that. Sirius was fine with it, for he knew that eventually Remus would come around and things would be merry and perfect.

They'd dodged each other for seven long years. They'd danced around one another, never making true eye contact and never truly registering what was formulating between them. Perhaps James saw it but dismissed it. Perhaps Peter saw it but didn't understand it. Sirius saw it and he knew. He knew Remus saw it, too.

Remus never really did anything that might upset the other three boys. Sirius knew he feared rejection. Sirius knew that, deep down in his heart, Remus feared his friends would leave him if he ever did something wrong. Sirius tried to show him that he was loved and they would never leave him. Remus was always skeptical.

Sirius would wait for Remus to be ready. He would wait forever if he had to. First and foremost, they were friends. When Remus was ready to move onto the evidently tangible feelings hanging between them, Sirius would be ready.

He knew, better than anyone, that Remus was not the type to be cornered. He knew, better than anyone, that Remus hated to be pressured into things.

But Sirius also knew that Remus would come.

The best part of the day for him was when the portrait hole opened and Remus emerged, carrying his books and, sometimes, with a quill tucked behind his ear. After a long afternoon in the library.

Sirius, sitting on the couch, would turn to him and feel his lips perk upwards in a warm smile, for seeing Remus in such an enduring posture was something that made him feel warm inside.

And Remus would grin back at him, mirroring his expression. And that was what made Sirius' day, for Remus so often smiled, but he rarely truly smiled. When he smiled like that, with dimples and the corners of his eyes crinkling, Sirius knew he was smiling just for him.