Truth in her Words
Theme #1: Bull's Eye

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Remus didn't like to think of himself as a snoop, or in any way nosy. In fact, Remus liked to think of himself as unbiased to all happenings in Hogwarts, except for perhaps studies and whether one particular professor was sick. Remus liked to think himself indifferent to the bevies that gossiped hypocritically in the school's hallways. Remus liked to think that he couldn't care less about who was dating who, what James and Sirius had done yesterday, who had the cutest new hairstyle, and the senseless dribble that trickled through the hallways like a deadly vapor.

But, then, of course, that didn't explain why Remus was standing, back pressed against the wall and watching Sirius and his latest girlfriend, Celestine Puddlemere. If Remus were truly impartial to the entire gossip system at Hogwarts, he would not be in hiding while watching Sirius and Celestine and wondering what they were talking about.

In all fairness, Remus hadn't been outside Hogwarts in the hopes of hearing some juicy details between Sirius and his Ravenclaw girlfriend. In fact, he'd come from the library and had merely stepped outside for a breath of air. He'd been stuck in the library studying ever since the last class of the day let out.

It was a lovely Friday afternoon and he knew James was down at the pitch practicing for the game against Hufflepuff tomorrow, and Peter was probably in the stands cheering him on. He wouldn't see the two until dinner. Remus assumed Sirius would be down there, too, but instead he was sitting on the steps with Celestine, and Remus was tucked away, trying his hardest not to watch. He couldn't tell what the two were talking about, and in all honesty he wasn't sure if he wanted to hear their gushy love confessions, anyway. But he couldn't stop himself from watching.

"Bloody hell," he muttered and hoped the two hadn't heard him. They remained painfully oblivious, and Remus assumed there were more pressing matters to attend to then to think that they were being spied on by a rather befuddled prefect.

Remus didn't hate Sirius' girlfriend, but he was certainly disinterested in her. She was a lovely girl from Ravenclaw, with dark, billowing black hair similar to Sirius' own and had large, clear eyes. She was intelligent and witty. Celestine seemed like the perfect girl for Sirius, as the rumor mill liked to state (though Remus refrained from listening to any and all rumors about them.)

Perhaps that was the reason why Remus seemed impartial to her. Despite all his reasoning and all his deductions, he couldn't get his silly little crush on Sirius to leave. It was aggravating in that he couldn't shake the silly feelings of twisting stomach and skydiving hearts whenever he was left alone with Sirius. It was a silly little crush. That's all it was. And it was bloody infuriating because Remus was supposed to be the calm and rational one and, instead, he felt like a little schoolgirl whenever Sirius even looked at him.

Knowing his luck, in any moment Celestine and Sirius would begin snogging and Remus would die on the spot.

They were both wearing casual clothes and Remus felt overdressed. He'd been in the library since his last class, and hadn't been to the tower since after breakfast. He felt silly standing there, watching Sirius. And her.

Celestine was a nice girl and Remus knew that his anger was wasted on her. She didn't deserve his rage, for it was merely jealousy and bias directed at her and her perfection. He hated it. He hated what he became when he thought about her and wished she would disappear.

They were talking and Celestine looked grim. She gave Sirius a tired look and kept turning her head towards the lake far beyond, where Remus could have sworn the squid was cruising across. One could never be sure, even from this distance.

Remus, for the life of him, couldn't hear what they were saying but couldn't tear his eyes away. Sirius looked like he wanted to protest something, but Celestine was still shaking her head. Her lips were pursed and she daintily pushed some of her black hair from her face. Then, slowly, she reached out a hand and touched his shoulder.

Remus was certain that this would be the moment where they would start making out on the steps and he grimly turned his head away. But then, he heard the swish of clothes and watched as Celestine walked away, tears dotting her eyes. Remus stared at her, mouth agape. He jerked his head back towards where Sirius was still sitting and his eyes were trained on the lake. He looked one hundred years older.

Seizing the courage that supposedly put him in Gryffindor, Remus stepped out from the shadows and cautiously stepped down the steps, his book bag banging against his hip numbly. He approached Sirius and stood next to him, looking to where he was looking and saying nothing. If Sirius didn't want to acknowledge his presence, then that was fine. Apparently he and Celestine had just broken up.

"Sit down, Remus," Sirius finally said with a tired sigh and Remus was quick to obey. Sirius rarely addressed him by name, usually favoring 'Moony' above all else.

He pushed his book bag away and it landed on the step below him with a soft thud. Remus swallowed and loosened his red and gold tie, giving Sirius a side long glance and wondering if Sirius would start pouring out his soul to Remus and blabber on about how much he loved Celestine. Remus was fairly certain he wouldn't be able to function after that.

"I'm sorry, Padfoot," Remus finally offered and turned slightly to face the boy. He was still watching the clear surface of the lake.

"You heard her, then?" Sirius asked and Remus almost thought he heard fear in his voice.

Remus shook his head. "No, I didn't hear." Then, he added quickly, "I saw Celestine walking away. Did you two have a fight or something?"

Sirius shifted and his feet scraped against the dirt on the steps. He sighed and shrugged one shoulder. "I guess you could say that."

"Did you break up?" Remus asked skeptically, wondering what was making Sirius so apprehensive.

"I guess so," Sirius muttered. "She probably doesn't want to go out with me anymore."

"Eh?" Remus was confused. "Why not?"

"She really hit the nail on the head, that girl," Sirius muttered instead of answering. "Perfect bull's eye."

"I wish I knew what you were talking about," Remus confessed, his eyebrows furrowing.

Sirius sighed again and rested his chin in his hand. He looked relieved for half a second before he continued:

"I guess those Ravenclaws aren't called intelligent for nothing. Why aren't you a Ravenclaw, Moony?" he asked with raised eyebrows.

"The sorting hat wanted me to go to Ravenclaw. Actually, he felt I portrayed qualities of all houses," Remus said quietly. He decided to go back to the situation at hand. He hated how intrigued he was by the exchange between Sirius and Celestine, but he couldn't help it. He asked, "Why is Celestine smart now, aside from the obvious?"

"We've only been going out for a couple weeks and already she knows so much about me," Sirius confessed and Remus felt his heart drop.

"You're not too hard to get, Sirius," Remus confessed.

"You don't understand," Sirius insisted, "She got things about me that I didn't even know. You know, she saw things that I've been trying to ignore and deny. She… notices things. You know, as the third party. Anyways," he said miserably, "her perceptiveness makes it unlikely we'll be going on another date anytime soon."

Remus cracked a hesitant smile and offered, "There are other fish in the sea."

"Not for me," Sirius said mournfully. "And it's all Celestine's fault."

Remus' smile evaporated. "Really, now, Sirius. You survived without Celestine before, you can do it again, I'm sure. You'll meet other birds, and you'll be just as fine as you were before."

"No, no, you don't understand, Remus," Sirius insisted, again using Remus' given name. "It's not because of Celestine but because of what she said."

"What'd she say? Did she curse you or something?" Remus wondered and began fishing around for his wand. "I'm sure I can find the counter-curse for you if you'd like."

"Your head will always be in the books, won't it?" Sirius asked and he actually chuckled for a moment.

"Er," Remus said hesitantly, unsure how to respond to such a statement. He opted for the obvious and said, "I'm not always in the books, Sirius."

"Yes, I know," Sirius said and their eyes met. Remus' breath hitched as he delved into Sirius' large slate colored eyes.

"What'd she say, then?" Remus asked, his forehead crinkling in thought.

"Just things… about me that I've been ignoring. Things that I'm shocked she'd managed to see. I thought I'd hidden it well."

Remus was slightly hurt that Celestine could pick up something about Sirius' character when he himself couldn't do so. He thought he knew everything there was to know about Sirius, yet from the way Sirius was carrying on, Remus had to assume Celestine had discovered a deep secret of Sirius', one the boy was hesitant to share with one of his friends.

"Moony," Sirius ventured, "What do you think about love?"

"Huh?" Remus asked stupidly, unsure what Sirius was getting at. Did he love Celestine or something?

"What's your opinion on love?" Sirius repeated. "Do you think we're capable of love at this age?"

"That's a… well… I'm not sure," Remus finally said. "We're young. What we think is love now may or may not be love to us later on in life." Remus still looked hesitant. "I'm not sure how I can explain love. It's a very, I don't know, unexplainable thing."

"Ah," Sirius whispered.

"And its surprising how just one preposition can change the meaning of a sentence; the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. It's two remarkably different things."

"You're being pretty deep here, Remus," Sirius said and would have laughed in any other situation.

"This is a rather deep conversation we're having," Remus reminded, but not unkindly.

Silence dragged on between them. Sirius watched the lake and Remus watched Sirius watching the lake.

"Do you think love is possible?"

"I'm not quite sure what you mean, Sirius." Remus scratched his head. "I think love is a very possible and powerful thing. There isn't much out there in the world that can compare to it. I think. It's something so far beyond our reach, yet something we intently search for, always searching. Never stopping. It's something we wish to obtain but have to work for. And, in the end, love works in mysterious ways."

"Very deep," Sirius commented and Remus ignored him.

"Do you love Celestine, then?" Remus whispered.

Sirius was quiet for a long moment before murmuring, "It's not Celestine that I love."

Remus mulled this over, allowing the tiniest flicker of hope before dashing it away with his realism and pragmatism. There wasn't anything between them, no matter how much Remus dreamed there was and thought there was. It was all in his head. The one Sirius loved wasn't Celestine and it most certainly was not him.

"Do you think love is possible?" Remus asked.

Sirius' face collected the tiniest of smiles and his eyes were at half mast. "Maybe. If you're lucky."

Luck and love.

Ah.

"Do you think you're capable of love?" Remus ventured, thinking that he'd gotten to the root of Sirius' questionings.

"Do you?" Sirius was being evasive, a move usually reserved for Remus.

Remus' eyes flickered over the setting sun in the distance and he pursed his lips. "There are only a few people in the world who know my secret. I don't know if I can bear to expose something so personal about myself to anyone else."

"You told us," Sirius said softly.

"You found out," Remus corrected. "And cornered me."

"Do you regret us finding out?"

"Never," Remus said without even having to think about. "My time here at Hogwarts has been the happiest of my entire life. With Peter, James, and you, Sirius, beside me, supporting me, I've almost felt… human."

Sirius looked pained and looked as if he wanted to protest Remus' humanity. The werewolf gently shook his head and silently urged him not to say a word. No matter how much his three best friends protested, Remus knew who he was. He was a monster, deep inside. A monster hiding in a boy's body.

"As for whether or not I'm capable of love," Remus continued before the silence could drag on for too long. He turned to Sirius and offered him a warm, tender smile, one that actually managed to reach his eyes. "You make me think I am."

Sirius returned the smile tentatively and touched Remus' shoulder in a gentle way, a tiny reminder that they were close enough to touch and that they allowed one another to be as close. Remus seemed to lean into the touch, ever so gently. It was a subtle shift of weight.

"Did Celestine say you're incapable of love?" Remus murmured.

Sirius' smile dropped from his lips and he looked indescribably sad in that moment. Silently, he nodded.

"She said I'm like a ripple," Sirius whispered. "You can never reach a ripple."

"She said that to you?"

"Among other things. She didn't say it to be mean. So don't give me that look. She just told me things. She was right though. She doesn't lie well. I could tell it was hurting her." Sirius traced his fingers along the dirt on the steps, leaving strange, intricate weavings. "She told me that I should say what I'm thinking to that… to the one I love. She told me that I shouldn't lie to myself and others. Because I'll only hurt those I care about."

"Ah," Remus murmured, unsure whether he should hate Celestine right now or not.

"She knew a lot about me just by watching me interact with others," Sirius said hesitantly and turned to face Remus directly. "Do you think I'm selfish, Moony?"

"You can be," Remus said truthfully. "But you can also be an extremely caring and sacrificing person."

"I see," Sirius said and frowned at the dirt.

He pulled his hand over his face, and left lines of grime there. Remus watched him move and had a sudden urge to wipe away the evidence of dirt. It didn't suit Sirius' face.

"She told me that I should tell the person I like that I do like them," Sirius added.

"Then you should."

"I don't know if I can."

"Then what are you doing in Gryffindor for?" Remus asked, laughing.

Sirius frowned. "It's just… that person wouldn't be expecting it from me. It'd be sudden, you know?"

"I'm sure she'd accept you, Padfoot. You're a great guy and all."

"Yeah, she," he muttered and then quickly cleared his throat. "I'm just hesitant to let, er, her know about my feelings. Because I'm afraid it'd ruin our already existing relationship."

"Is it Lily?" Remus asked in alarm. That would explain this conversation and the hesitancy.

"What? Oh, God no," Sirius said whilst pulling a face. "I could never go for her. She's James', after all. Besides, she's not my type."

"What is your type?" Remus asked, raising his eyebrows.

There was a pregnant pause before Sirius offered, "Smart, charming, studious, gentle, pretty, funny. Someone I can talk to and be myself with. Someone who knows my secrets and accepts them without question. Someone who's always there for me and supports me and gives me advice when I'm lost and confused. Someone who wouldn't mind getting lost with me. Um, you know." He blushed. "The usual."

Remus smiled pleasantly and tried not to apply each trait to himself. Because he wasn't charming or gentle or pretty or funny.

"I like someone who's different, unique. Someone who thinks I'm different and unique. Someone who cares for me and lets me know that they do."

"You are unique, Padfoot, anyone who doesn't think so isn't worth your time," Remus reassured and patted the boy's shoulder. "She's out there, mate, you'll find her."

"What's your type?" Sirius questioned suddenly.

"Oh, um, well, you know," Remus stammered and blushed.

Sirius' eyebrows slanted downwards. "No, tell me. I told you."

There was a pause where Remus tried to force his blush back down.

"Well, someone who's different from me but not so much that it's annoying. Someone who knows my secret and doesn't care—like that will ever happen. Someone who doesn't mind my morbid bouts of skepticism and all the studying I do. Someone who makes me happy and I can make happy in return. Someone who's strong and firm in their beliefs. Pretty, smart, outgoing…"

"Tough order to fill," Sirius supplied, "What with your secret and everything."

"Yeah," Remus said remorsefully. "Doesn't matter. No one would want a werewolf."

"Don't say that," Sirius said firmly. "There's someone out there for you."

"They won't want me," Remus supplied morbidly.

"Now, now, I'm not going to be done in with your bad mood, Moony. Someday you'll find someone who makes you happy and who cares for you just as much as we do. And you'll be happy. And you'll see just how amazing and wonderful you are."

"Your flattery is wasted on me," Remus said sadly and sighed.

He leaned over and, using his thumb, wiped the dirt off Sirius' forehead, cheeks, and nose. He stared intently at his work and missed the mystified look on Sirius' face. Remus slowly pulled away and refused to make eye contact.

"Dirt on your face," Remus defended.

"Ah, thanks."

"What did Celestine say to you?" Remus tried again.

Sirius blew out a breath of air. "She said I'm impossible to get close to so long as my heart is anchored by someone else. She told me that she knew… things I've told no one. She told me that she'd been watching me for the last week and she'd noticed how I'd spent a lot of time around you."

"Well, of course, we're friends," Remus said, looking outraged. "Don't tell me she's angry over the fact you have friends!"

"No," Sirius said with a shake of his head. "It's not that. She noticed the way I act around you. It's a bit… unlike any other way boys act around each other."

Remus had no idea what Celestine could possibly mean. Sirius and Remus had always acted this way around one another. It was never any different this year than it had any other year before that. They were just comfortable around one another. They could be themselves around one another. Nothing mattered.

"She's being silly," Remus said firmly.

"No, she's right," Sirius said resolutely.

Remus gave him a blank look but Sirius ignored him. He picked at some lint on his casual wear and Remus once again felt overdressed for the occasion, even if he was only with Sirius on the steps of Hogwarts, watching the sunset. Remus could see his breath.

"She also said that it's unfair to you for me not to say anything."

"Say what?" Remus asked, confused.

"For a smart, studious guy, you sure can be clueless sometimes," Sirius said sadly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Remus asked defensively.

"It means I like you," Sirius said flatly.

Remus nearly missed what he said. It flew over his head but the words seemed to reverberate across the empty courtyard they sat before, with the lake far beyond. Remus stared at him and looked like he was being strangled. Sirius looked at him calmly.

"Celestine sure hit the bull's eye," Sirius said and turned his head away, refusing to look at Remus again. "She knew right away that I fancied you. She could just tell by the way I acted, talked, and looked at you. And you need me to spell it out for you. This is why you're not in Ravenclaw, mate."

"You fancy me?" Remus squeaked.

"Quite a bit, actually," Sirius said calmly. Calm was never something Remus associated with Sirius and needless to say the werewolf was growing a bit uneasy.

"Oh," Remus whispered.

"Oh? That's all you have to say?" Sirius asked and he looked like he wanted to either burst into tears or laughter.

"I just… didn't expect it," Remus said, startled. "You think I'm charming? And pretty?"

Sirius laughed. "Figures you'd say something like that, huh? Yes, I do. Maybe handsome would be the word I'd use, probably. But whatever."

"And… you think I'm gentle?"

"The gentlest person I know. You're a very caring person, you know," Sirius said logically. "You may not think so, but I've seen it. You're possibly the only seventh year who's kind to the underclassmen. You're very careful in your words and gestures. You don't like to insult or cause ruckus for others. You're gentle."

Remus blushed and didn't know what to say to such a statement. Sirius reached out and touched his arm.

"Have I misread everything between us, Remus?" he murmured and withdrew his hand hesitantly. "Am I wrong to think that you like me, too?"

Remus turned to look at him and was fairly certain that their eyes mirrored one another's. Both looked extremely frightened. Unable to summon up the words, Remus nodded, slowly.

Sirius cracked a smile. "Please say it."

Remus swallowed and squeaked out what could possibly have been words at one point in time. He tried again and cleared his throat. "I like you, too, Sirius. A lot."

Sirius' smile widened and he grabbed Remus' hand, dragging him closer. "Celestine told me you'd say that."

"Did she?" Remus asked, still blushing.

"Yep," Sirius said proudly, "She's quite a smart bird. That's why she's in Ravenclaw, I reckon."

"Indeed," Remus whispered, staring at the lake over Sirius' shoulder. "And I'm not in Ravenclaw because I'm clueless?"

"I'm clueless, too," Sirius said with a shrug. "Like I said earlier. She's the third party. She sees things we don't. Plus, she's a woman, so I suppose that counts for something."

"I guess," Remus said, wondering why some kind of strange panic hadn't overtaken him whilst discussing their relationship. Under normal circumstances, Remus would have wanted to faint or run away. Yet here he was, calmly talking with Sirius, whilst holding hands, as if they hadn't just confessed to one another that they liked the other.

Perhaps they'd known all along. Perhaps they'd known and hadn't expressed it in words. Saying it didn't mean a thing, for actions spoke much louder than words.

"Sirius?" Remus questioned.

"Yeah?" Sirius asked.

"Come here," Remus commanded, but closed the distance between them and threw his arms around Sirius' shoulders, hugging him close. "I have something important to say to you."

"Yeah?" Sirius whispered back.

"Celestine's stupid," Remus declared.

"Oh?" Sirius asked, curiosity rising.

"You're nothing like a ripple," Remus said gently.

"And why's that?" Sirius asked.

"You can't hold a ripple close to you, Sirius," Remus reminded him and melted into his embrace.