A/N: Thank you all for reviewing! Especially those with thoughtful comments that I can't reply to, such as yours, J. Chyld. Also, apologies for the late update. Seems the site was undergoing some maintenance. Enjoy.
While Rosalie stayed with the sleeping Bella, Alice stretched her legs in the woods. She pushed herself to her limit, speeding faster than she'd ever gone. For the first time in months she felt unbound, rid of everything that had been slowing her down. She knew who and what she was, and now what she wanted. She'd found out more than the fact that she was bi when she'd kissed Rosalie, but that she wasn't in love with Bella. She'd only perceived it as such at the time because she'd never been with another woman like that before. But the feeling of exhilaration had been there with Rose too. She'd considered herself single for a long time now, with her and Jasper growing further apart, but now she embraced it, hopeful to find someone perfect for her. If it was another man, fine. But Alice wished deeply for a woman she could comfort, to be with the way Rose and Bella were.
She threw off her shoes, not caring a bit if she never saw them again, letting her bare feet flow through the underbrush. A pale but radiant light was beginning to trickle down through the trees, casting a refreshing hue of blue and gold everywhere. Alice ran faster, stopping for nothing. Nothing chased her, nothing haunted her steps. She came to a halt when she approached the edge of a high cliff. The strong wind whipped her feathered hair around, sometimes getting caught for a moment between her smiling lips. She let her arms stretch out above her, up for the sky, her sparkling eyes closing softly.
I am free.
Rosalie made Bella a light breakfast as she woke up. The clothes she'd let her borrow were too long on her, but form fitting. Rosalie swung her up into her arms upon seeing her come down the stairs, kissing her deeply.
"How'd you sleep?" she asked.
"It was like I was sleeping in a cloud."
Rose grinned, glad to see her doing so well. "Shall we take a look at you?"
"The burns are still sore, but the bruises are already going away."
"Maybe I should look anyway, you know, just to make sure," she said in a suggestive tone.
Bella bowed her head, smiling up at her with playful eyes. Rosalie carried her back upstairs where they stayed for the next hour and a half.
"I was thinking I might take a trip back to my house... just to see," Bella said after another half hour of holding each other. Rosalie looked uncertain.
"Are you sure you want to do that honey? It may be harder than you think."
"I know, but I feel I have to. It was my home after all, where I was born."
Rosalie couldn't recall much of her home from when she'd been a human, but understood why Bella needed to go. They decided to walk, talking as their interwoven hands swayed between them. They talked about the chaos of the past few days: of Alice's winding path to finding herself, Bella accidently burning down her home. Bella didn't want to bring up the incessant nightmares she'd been having. She felt Rose had enough on her plate and didn't want to bring back any unneeded memories for either of them.
"Think the guys are having a fun time in Alaska?" Rose asked.
Bella gave a short chuckle. "Hopefully not as much as us. What a triangle they'd make!"
The two glanced at each other seriously before bursting into laughter. Images of Edward, Jasper and Emmett experiencing the same events they had floated uneasily to mind. Fashioning makeshift tiaras out of silverware, drunken kisses...
"So how do you feel about that anyway?" Rosalie asked, once she'd recovered.
"About...?"
"About our triangle... You, Alice and I."
"I wasn't aware we had one," Bella stated simply, jumping over a fallen log. Rosalie caught her before the ground did. Rosalie tried to keep smiling, but found it growing strenuous.
"Come on, Bell. You said you liked seeing us kiss, and she admitted to liking kissing both of us..." She set Bella on the forest floor but didn't let go, keeping her close.
"Rose, we're together. I love you. I love her too but in more of a best friend or sisterly way. Sure, seeing you two kiss was incredibly hot, I won't deny it, but it wasn't real. Alice was just finding herself, that's all."
"Is that all?" Rosalie asked, a hint of melancholy in her tone. She dropped the arm that held Bella.
"What do you mean?" Bella asked, eyes concerned as she touched her girlfriend's shoulder. Rosalie sighed heavily.
"It's just.... I know you love me, but the way you let us go on like that... the fact that you liked us kissing-that you weren't jealous... The way you weren't upset when I told you she'd kissed you that night."
"What are you afraid of?" Bella asked hesitantly.
"It just doesn't seem like you only think of her as a friend that's all."
"Well I'm not in love with her-"
"I know, but it doesn't seem right that...." she took a deep breath, trying to regather her thoughts. "I almost lost my mind when I saw her kissing you, and yet you actually liked it when her and I kissed."
"It was completely different circumstances," Bella said stubbornly.
"Only because everyone had a say in the matter when Alice and I kissed. Do you really not see my point? You don't seem to mind other people being in on this relationship."
"What?" Bella exclaimed. "Of course I do! And she's not in our relationship."
"So tell me this then: would you have a problem with the three of us together? Carrying on this way? Bound together in this twisted triptych?"
There was a pause.
"You've got to be kidding me," Rosalie whispered, her palm meeting her forehead.
Bella's expression was desperate. "I wouldn't want anything to happen between the three of us except physically." Rosalie stared at her open mouthed.
"Is that supposed to reassure me? Way to go." She began to walk, but Bella caught her arm.
"No, Rosalie, wait. I just meant..."
"What?" Rosalie huffed, unbelieving what she was hearing. But their eyes met, and Rosalie saw that tears were beginning to form in her girlfriend's.
"When I'm with you sexually... or when I saw you and Alice together" she cleared her throat, struggling to explain. "It helps make... other things easier to handle." She bowed her head, eyes on the ground. Rosalie watched as a tear collided with the dirt. She lowered her voice once more, making it gentler.
"You mean what they did?" But she already knew. That had been one of the reasons she'd gone with Emmett all along. Being with him physically helped her cope with the trauma of her rape. She could lay down the two experiences side by side and learn the difference between them. Royce and his pals had been merciless and humiliating, unlike Emmett who was gentle, careful with her. She saw now that Bella was using the same method, and it broke her heart.
"Oh sweetheart," she choked, pulling Bella into her, wrapping her up tightly. She felt warmth seeping into her shirt through Bella's tears, though Bella quickly turned away and wiped then aside. "You don't have to hide anything from me," Rosalie assured her. "I know what you're going through right now. It's-"
"Forget it," Bella sniffed, voice hard, but not toward Rosalie, hugging her back. "Let's just keep walking, okay? Please? I don't want to think about that anymore."
Rosalie found it immensely difficult to remain composed with her only love's heart splitting open right in front of her. But she understood what she needed for that moment, and nodded in agreement. Without anymore words, Rosalie scooped her up and carried her the rest of the way to the pile of ashes that remained of Bella's former life.
Bella recognized the shape of her truck-now charred to a crisp-sitting a little ways off from the 'house.' She wouldn't miss it. In fact, she found herself relieved that she would no longer have to drive in it. Inside the faces of her attackers were too distinct, too painful. It had even kept their filthy stench. The perfume of terror. She clutched Rosalie's arm and waded through the mounds of black and gray pieces that had once made up her home.
"This was the kitchen," she said faintly as they came upon a square of shattered tile and what was left of the fridge and stove. "And this, the staircase..." A few steps still remained, though the only thing they led to was stale air. It was harder when they reached Bella's room, or at least the fragments from the upstairs, which had been the first to go.
"This looks like a leg from a chair... a handle of some sort maybe?"
"That went to my stereo," Bella said, taking the warped piece of metal. Besides a few other useless scraps, Rosalie discovered a set of keys and the faucet from the shower.
"You okay?" Rose asked, crouching next to Bella among the rubble. Bella took a few deep breaths, gathering up her hair and pushing it to one side.
"This place... It's hard." Her voice was haunted. Rose wasn't sure if her hand would pass right through Bella's if she touched it. Though it was icy, it still held its substance. They clutched hard, drawing much needed strength from the other. Specks of white ash floated in the air like toxic snow. The thought of winter made Bella shiver. Rosalie pulled her backwards so she was lying down in her lap. She stroked her sleek brown hair, noticing the thin lines of tears on her girlfriend's rosy cheeks. Without that faint bit of color, she would have looked spectral.
"We're going to get through this. I know it doesn't do much to hear that now, but we will." She let her words rest on the air for a moment, gazing up at the amber flares the sun was shooting across the darkening sky. Cream and lavender arced across each other, revealing the first of the yellow stars. She thought of the billions of skies she'd seen in her life. Some were uplifting, some were mournful, even a few that were frightening with their metallic lightning and bruised clouds like the one on the night she'd died. Above the black scarred rubble, where two lovers felt the pressure of the blistered earth pressing into their bodies, sat a sky filled with complexity. There was remorse but hope, loss but strength. There were many parts clouded over, tricky to see past. But the thing that really caught the vampire's eye, which gleamed a rich sun soaked honey, was the wonder. She gazed lovingly up in fascination, surprised to find that even in a memory as charred as this, there was also immense beauty. It was a little like her, a little like Bella, and Alice too. Through it all, all the turmoil life threw at them, they still lived, even if it was just to see one more brought her eyes back to rest on the weeping girl in her arms, vowing to always live for beauty.
For Bella.
A/N: For those of you who don't know, a Triptych (trip-tick) is a work of art separated into three sections. They are meant to accompany and relate to one another as a series. Just sos you knows. :)