Author Note:
Disclaimer: Here you go, this is NCIS - specially gift wrapped for you. Wait, you mean I dreamt that? Damn.
Okay, so I apologise for the long wait, I know it was a terrible thing to do and I am sorry. Oh, and I apologise in advance for this chapter, it hasn't been BETA'd, so if there's any fairly obvious mistakes - I am sorry.
P.S The last chapters title in Hebrew means 'Karma' I thought it fit.
P.P.S I hated Aliyah.
On with the show....
Tony sat on his lounge, a dismal expression plastered on his face. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop thinking about Ziva, and how much he had hurt her. He tried, desperately, to rid his thoughts of her. He tried to settle the uneasy feeling that had bubbled within him. However, he couldn't help but replay the scene over in his mind, from the first moment when he had pulled her body close to his, melding them as one. It sickened him; him touching her body as though she was just a whore, a piece of meat – brought into the world to please him. He remembered everything, right up to the moment she had walked out of his door, whispering goodbyes as her eyes locked with his, an aggrieved expression etched into her face.
Tony swallowed the lump in his throat.
That image had burnt itself into the back of his skull; her eyes had sent an urgent plea, displaying her distress and shattered trust.
He pushed his head back into the plush pillows of his lounge, squeezing his eyes shut against the abhorrent images that were forming in his head.
How had this even began? This... He honestly didn't know what this was exactly; fling, affair? Whatever it was it definitely wasn't healthy, for either of them.
It seemed that Tony was acting like his usual self, just trying to get a girl into bed – no matter the situation, no matter what their feelings were, no matter who they were.
But, it wasn't like that; he couldn't shake this feeling that had been growing in him, since that first day. There was some sort of ache, a deep need that would resurface whenever Ziva was around. He never had that with anybody else. The ache, the need, it was driving him crazy. He couldn't do anything without thinking about Ziva, he always wanted to be with Ziva. Ziva, Ziva, Ziva, Ziva, Ziva. Everything was Ziva.
He remembered that first day. The first day they had decided... The first day this had all began.
"Tony!" Ziva exclaimed, pushing herself up from her desk.
"Yes?" Tony asked innocently, trademark grin in place.
"Stop it!" Ziva hit her desk with her fist, punctuating her sentence.
"Stop what?" Tony's grin became broader.
Ziva narrowed her eyes and sat back down in her seat, diverting her focus back to her paperwork.
Another spit ball hit her, right in the ear.
"TONY!" She launched herself across the bullpen, and in a matter of seconds she was behind Tony's desk, dragging him to his feet.
A look of fear crossed Tony's face.
"Why do you have to be so annoying?" Ziva asked angrily.
"It's enjoyable," Tony smiled.
Ziva sighed and let go of his collar, standing up straight she brushed down her shirt.
"That's it? Badass MOSSAD ninja doesn't want to break a nail?" Tony laughed, leaning back in his chair.
Ziva's eyes wandered up his form slowly, taking in every part of his body with her eyes, "Don't tempt me," she growled when her eyes finally met his.
"Sorry, it's my nature I'm just naturally tempting," Tony gloated, smiling smugly.
"Just stop it, Tony," Ziva demanded, grabbing the straw from where it sat precariously on his lip.
"Hey!" Tony exclaimed, as she sashayed away from him.
"I need a break!" Tony exclaimed suddenly, "Want a candy bar?"
"Tony, you haven't even done anything to need a break," Ziva sighed.
"Do you want a candy bar?" Tony asked again, ignoring her statement.
"Really, I would feel flattered that you were offering if you were not going to steal that candy bar," Ziva said, sounding amused.
"It's not stealing, they should fix it," Tony grinned.
"Whatever," Ziva exhaled deeply, "I am okay, steal yourself a candy bar," she smiled.
"Suit yourself," Tony began to walk out of the bullpen.
"Oh and Tony," Ziva called, not lifting her eyes from her paperwork, "Bring back a straw, and I will know."
Tony smiled as he headed toward the break room.
Ziva drummed her fingers against the desk, it had been twenty minutes, and he still hadn't returned. She wasn't worried, no, just curious. Ziva knew he was up to something, Tony was always up to something.
She was finding it hard to focus on her work, as her mind wandered to what her partner was doing. The curiosity nagged at her as the minutes ticked by, eventually it got the better of her, and she found herself heading toward the break room.
Stepping quietly, she spotted him on the other side of the room, resting his forehead against the glass of the vending machine. She stealthily weaved her way through the tables before standing beside him.
Tony turned to face her, a surprised expression on his face.
"You really need to stop doing that," Tony told her, his gaze resting on hers.
"You have been gone a long time."
"It's only been..."
"Half an hour," she finished for him.
"Hasn't felt like that long," He conceded, keeping his gaze trained on hers.
"What are you doing down here, Tony?" Ziva asked him, leaning forwards a little, her face mere inches away from his. She peered up at him curiously.
"Getting chocolate," he held up the dollar bill in his hand, for her to see.
"You are actually paying?" she asked, her eyes widened in surprise.
"I'm trying to do a good deed... You know, give a little back," Tony said.
Ziva raised her eyebrows sceptically.
"Fine, it doesn't work anymore," he admitted, turning around to hit the machine – as if to prove his point.
Ziva smiled and nodded, "That still doesn't explain why you have been here for so long?"
"My dollar won't work how about you try it – you're good at that sort of thing."
Ziva plucked the note from between his fingers and slipped it into the machine, breaking eye contact as she ducked down to pick up the chocolate bar.
Tony reached out to grab it, but Ziva pulled it out of his reach, raising her eyebrows as he rocked back on his heels, giving her a pointed stare.
She opened it easily, and bit into it, moaning with appreciation.
"This is nougat, yes?" Ziva breathed.
Tony frowned, watching her closely, he cleared his throat before answering weakly, "Yes."
"I like it," Ziva murmured and opened her eyes slowly; she cocked her head to the side and broke the chocolate bar and passed half to him.
"I thought you didn't want any," Tony swallowed hard.
"I changed my mind," Ziva shrugged her shoulders and took another bite out of her half of the chocolate bar.
"Ziva," Tony growled, placing his half of the chocolate bar on the glass table beside them.
Ziva's eyes widened, and she looked up at him, speaking through a mouthful of chocolate she asked, "Yes?"
"What are you doing?"
"Eating chocolate," she said, rolling her eyes.
"No, this," Tony leant forward, smelling the sweet chocolate on her breath, "This..." he murmured again, closing his eyes; their lips were so close, everything they had ever wanted was so close. Just so close...
Ziva's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and before she could even ask him what he was doing – he had pushed his lips to hers softly, bringing his hand up to rest on the nape of her neck.
She sighed, her chocolate bar forgotten - she dropped it on the floor, wrapping her arms around his neck.
"Tony," Ziva gasped, "What are you... doing?" she asked, pulling away from him a fraction, swallowing the remnants of her chocolate.
"What I should have done a long time ago," he growled, pulling her against him softly.
"Why now?" Ziva pulled away from him again.
"Can we talk about this later?" he murmured, pushing his lips to hers once again.
She pulled away from a moment before whispering firmly, "No," she soon contradicted her words by pushing her lips against his again, soft and sweet.
"Fuck paperwork," Tony wove his fingers through her hair, "Fuck everything, let's go home," running his tongue over the seam of her lips – he begged for entrance.
Their tongues met, and everything was forgotten. Rule twelve, Gibbs, the team, the years they had spent pushing each other away, their barricades, their walls – everything was just gone.
Tony sighed. It had taken one moment; one moment to ruin everything they had worked towards, everything they had kept surreptitiously hidden away behind their walls and guarded looks.
He was the one who had fucked that up, he had ruined that, he had caved. It had become too much for him, and he had just given in.
He had fucked things up.
Now things would never go back to the way they were before, they couldn't. He now understood why Gibbs had a rule for this, a rule against this.
Ziva probably hated him, and he didn't blame her. He deserved to be hated. He deserved to fall victim to any, if not, all of her MOSSAD super ninja torture techniques. He was actually quite shocked he hadn't. She had been so calm, so... un-Ziva like about everything.
If he went over to her apartment he would no doubt, fuck things up more. But he couldn't stand it, just sitting here while she sat alone in her apartment, thinking about how much of an ass he was. He had to set things straight, and apologise. It had been half an hour since she had walked out of his door. Surely she had calmed down somewhat?
He prayed that she wouldn't hurl something at him if he walked through her door tonight.
Finally convincing himself, he got to his feet and grabbed his keys and coat before launching himself out the door, heading toward the elevators faster than he had ever gone before.
Possible apologies swirled through his head as he made his way down the hallway - as did possible outcomes from those apologies.
One of two things would happen tonight, she would either accept the apology and they would happily go on, unperturbed by conflict... or, she wouldn't and he would die a painfully, horrible death.
He swallowed hard as he had this thought.
He crossed the hall and pressed the elevator buttons hurriedly before his eyes wandered downward and he noticed an out of order sign sitting lazily on the ground, where it must have fallen off.
He sighed agitatedly, rushing toward the stairs. His heart beat erratically in his chest as he prayed that both, he would arrive at Ziva's apartment soon, and that he could prolong their meeting for as long as possible. He was afraid of what would happen, and what she would say.
He placed his hand on the cool metal of the rail and took the steps carefully, breathing calmly. He kept his gaze focused on his feet; he neared the bottom of the steps, a million thoughts plaguing his mind.
He was about to continue onward, when he looked up to see that he was about to trip over something... something, someone?
He gasped in shock as he realised what... who, it was.
He felt his heart lurch in his chest and his eyes widened as her stared down at the unmoving body at his feet. He stood paralysed, unable to comprehend what he saw before him.
"Ziva!" he cried painfully as he dropped to his knees in front of her inanimate body, he felt for her pulse thank god he thought. "Ziva come on," he stroked her cheek tenderly – willing her to open her beautiful brown eyes.
He placed a gentle kiss to her sweaty forehead, pushing the hair from her eyes.
Oh god, my fault, my fault, my fault, Tony thought to himself, trying to comprehend what he saw before him.
He clasped her hand with his, and hastily pulled out his phone and called the ambulance, asking them to hurry, a pleading tone underlying his voice. They assured him that they would arrive as soon as possible and then left him to sit in the cold, silent room with Ziva.
"It'll be okay," he said quietly, more to himself than to Ziva who lay motionless beside him.
He heard her whimper softly, and he shuddered thankfully, "Ziva?" He stroked her cheek lightly.
She opened her eyes blearily, staring back up at him with a dazed and confused expression.
"It's okay Ziva; I called the ambulance they should be here soon."
"No...M'fine," Ziva slurred, struggling to hold her eyes open. Her teeth chattered as she lay on the floor in the cold lobby.
Tony sighed, "Ziva, you just fell down a flight of stairs and yet you can still manage to be stubborn," he pulled his coat off and laid it over her.
"Fell?" She blinked a few times, and welcomed the warmness of his jacket.
Ziva felt numb all over, which was probably a good thing considering how she was going to feel later. Her mind and thoughts were foggy – making it almost impossible to remember what had happened just before the fall. She remembered bashing on Tony's door in a furious rage. She blushed slightly at the profane language she had used. Even though she was positive Tony didn't understand the majority of what she had said, it was still pretty obvious that she wasn't screaming about rainbows and sunshine.
"I can't believe this happened," Tony said, burying his head in his hands.
"It is not your fault," Ziva sighed wearily," I should have... been more careful, I still do not remember," she took a breath, wincing slightly, "how it even happened. I am usually very sure-footed."
"It is my fault!" he exclaimed, he remembered the pained look on her face, just over half an hour before, as she had walked out of his apartment.
She knitted her eyebrows together and opened her mouth to speak, however she was cut short as they saw the two paramedics approach them hurriedly.
"I'm Logan, and this is Hamish, "one of the two paramedics introduced them quickly, "What happened to you?" He asked kindly, smiling down at Ziva – checking her for any obvious injury.
"I'm fine I just..." Ziva began, only to be cut off by Tony.
"She is not fine," he ground out through clenched teeth, "She just fell down this flight of stairs, and she was unconscious when I found her," he gave her a pointed stare, warning her to stop being stubborn.
Ziva glared back at him, pursing her lips in defeat.
"Okay well, how about we get you back to the hospital and then we can determine whether you're fine or not," the younger looking paramedic, Hamish, said.
"I do not need to go, I am fine – seriously," Ziva looked around at the three faces and sighed, "Why will nobody believe me?"
"Because you're not telling the truth," Tony said brusquely.
She narrowed her eyes at him as the two paramedics watched them, feeling slightly awkward.
"Come on, the sooner we get this all over the sooner you can get outta' there," the older one, Logan, reasoned.
"Any hospital?" Hamish asked.
"Bethesda," Tony said weakly, pulling out his badge subconsciously whilst maintaining eye contact with Ziva.
"Sure," he said as they proceeded to put Ziva in the back of the ambulance, much to her dismay.
"I do not want him in this ambulance with me," Ziva said quietly, watching Tony.
"...Okay," Hamish said hesitatingly, sending a sympathetic look to Tony, "Sorry sir."
"It's okay," he said through clenched teeth, stepping out of the ambulance reluctantly.
He sighed as he walked toward his car, a myriad of thoughts whirling around in his mind. Well, he was right about one thing – he had fucked things up, and he had fucked them up bad.
He swallowed hard as he remembered what she had said before, "I still do not remember how it even happened." Did that mean, perhaps later on – she would hate him even more than she did right now?
"Nice job DiNozzo, nice job," he said to himself sarcastically as he slipped into his car smoothly – looking into the rear view mirror, he watched the ambulance drive away.
He hit his head on the steering wheel a couple of times, before starting the engine and beginning to drive toward Bethesda, accompanied only by his thoughts.
He knew he should tell Gibbs, "Oh yeah, hey Gibbs well you know, I've just been trying to fuck my partner for the last week or so, and yeah I kind of made her cry, and she fell down a flight of stairs – sorry about that," oh yes – that would go down well.
"Yeah right," Tony scoffed.
He pulled into the near empty Bethesda car park, and stepped out into the cool night air. The breeze chilled his sweat soaked skin, and made him shudder involuntarily as he remembered that Ziva still had his coat wrapped tightly around her small frame.
He closed his door, and sighed deeply. Pulling his mobile out from his pocket, he leant against the door of his car.
He took a deep breath and pressed speed dial for Gibbs.
"Gibbs," he answered gruffly.
Tony let out the breath he was holding and began to speak, "Hey boss, uh, well you see..."
"Spit it out, DiNozzo," Gibbs barked.
"Ziva's at Bethesda."
"Care to explain?" Gibbs asked agitatedly, there was a hint of worry in his voice.
"She uh, fell down a flight of stairs, and uh..." Tony struggled to form words, nerves knotted in his stomach.
"Is she okay, DiNozzo?" Gibbs finally asked.
"Yes, she was responsive when they took her in the ambulance, I don't know how she is now – I'm out front, about to go inside," he took a breath, "I just thought that I should tell you."
"You were with her?" Gibbs asked through the phone.
Tony cringed, "Yes."
There was a pause on the other end of the phone, Tony was about to speak when Gibbs finally spoke up, "Well then how come you don't know how she is now?!" Gibbs asked angrily, "You went with her didn't you?!"
"Tony laughed unsteadily, "Actually no, she uh, didn't want me too..."
"We'll talk about this later, go in and find out how she is DiNozzo, I'll be there soon," Gibbs said gruffly – hanging up the phone.
Tony switched off his phone, before stepping through the hospitals double doors.
He strolled up to the front desk casually. A young looking nurse sat there, her head was buried in a pile of papers.
"Excuse me?" Tony asked quietly, trying not to startle her.
"Oh, hello!" she looked up, smiling brightly, "how can I help you, Hun?"
"I'm here for Officer David," he said stoically, too consumed with worry and exhaustion to repay her politeness.
Tony's eyes flitted down to read her name tag, Amanda.
Amanda smiled sympathetically, "She's the young Israeli that came in not long ago?" she questioned, not waiting for an answer she continued, "They're still performing some basic tests, she's okay."
Tony nodded.
"She's a really lucky woman, a fall like that, she must be tough."
"She is," Tony said softly, "Thanks anyway, Amanda."
He turned around and began to pace around the waiting room agitatedly.
It had barely been ten minutes before Gibbs was striding toward him.
"DiNozzo!" he growled, "Any news?"
"No boss, they're performing tests at the moment, that's all I know," Tony stood before him, his hands buried deep in his pockets.
Gibbs look softened for a moment before he asked, a little less harshly, "How did this happen, DiNozzo?"
Tony's whole body tensed up as he tried to avoid Gibbs eye.
"DiNozzo!" Gibbs yelled in the empty waiting room, "Why didn't she want you to go with her?!"
"She was at my apartment," Tony spoke up nervously.
"And?"
"We were talking."
"Talking," Gibbs raised an eyebrow.
"Yes, talking!" Tony exclaimed, finally meeting his piercing stare, flinching as he did so.
"Ziva doesn't just fall down stairs, she's MOSSAD Tony!" Gibbs yelled.
Amanda watched them carefully, biting her cheek.
"Look, I don't know! Okay? I don't know! I wasn't there, when she fell. I don't know how she fell, I just don't know!" Tony shouted back at him, his eyes were ablaze with asperity.
Tony was angrier at himself, than at Gibbs. But Gibbs was there, and Gibbs was probing into things that Tony believed he had no right to know about. But deep down he knew that wasn't true and he knew they were doing the wrong thing. Gibbs had rules against this, and they worked for him. But anger was churning inside of him, and he felt it bubbling to the surface.
"What did you do to her?!" Gibbs asked hotly, stepping closer to Tony.
"That's none of your business!" Tony growled before he had thought it through.
"It is my business," Gibbs narrowed his eyes, "Do I have to remind you of rule 12 DiNozzo?"
Tony's face went blank.
They heard somebody clear their throat, and they both broke eye contact – looking at a middle aged looking nurse.
"Are you here to see Officer David?" she asked in a small voice.
Momentarily, Tony was shocked that she got her name right, but that was soon pushed out of his mind as other thoughts whirled around his mind.
"Yes," he croaked, stepping away from Gibbs, "Is she okay?"
The nurse smiled, "She is fine, a few bumps and bruises but that's all. She's an incredibly lucky and strong woman."
Tony sighed in relief, before his eyes dropped. Would she actually want to see him?
"Can I, um, see her?" Tony asked.
"Yeah, but I don't advise you stay too long – poor woman must be exhausted."
Tony turned around to look at Gibbs.
"Tell her I'll be in to see her tomorrow," Gibbs said.
Tony nodded.
Gibbs sent him a warning glare, before walking out of sight.
Tony turned back around, shuddering slightly.
"Follow me," the nurse said kindly, leading him down the hallway.
"Just in there," the nurse smiled tightly.
"Thanks," Tony watched her retreat down the hallway, before he pushed the door open quietly.
He licked his lips nervously, before walking into the room. The only light emanated from a lamp beside Ziva's bed, it shed a soft glow over her. She was the only one in the room, lying in a bed on the far right corner. She was looking out the window, at the darkness. Rain had begun to fall steadily since he had last been outside. He walked up to her silently, watching out the window as she did.
"Tony," she said, her gaze not pulling away from the window.
Tony looked down at her, "Ziva, look about what happened..."
"Tony, don't speak," Ziva's eyes finally met his.
"You're still mad, I don't blame you," Tony sighed.
"I am not mad," Ziva smiled sweetly.
"What sort of drugs have they put you on?" Tony asked, his mouth hanging open in shock.
"Tony, I'm not elevated," Ziva rolled her eyes.
"Eleva... Oh, high. You mean high."
"Yes, whatever."
"But before, you were... I don't understand."
"I am not mad," Ziva reiterated.
"You should be," Tony told her, his eyes wide, "after what I did to you."
"We were both very mad at each other."
"Are you sure you aren't on some sort of drugs, this isn't you Ziva."
"Tony, I am not on drugs, but you might have to be if you don't stop saying that," Ziva growled.
"There we go!" Tony grinned.
"Tony," Ziva warned.
"Right, but I deserve to be hated," Tony's grin dropped and he readorned his confused look.
"No you don't, I have been thinking and, I... I don't blame you."
"Yes I do, I deserve to be blamed," Tony sighed, running a hand through his hair, "Can you at least pretend to be mad so I can apologise."
Ziva smiled sadly, "You don't have to apologise to me, I understand."
"I want to apologise, I feel bad."
"Fine," Ziva pulled herself up slightly in her bed, looking him square in the eye, "Tony I hate you! How could you do something like this to me! I always trusted you, I trusted you with my life! You destroyed my trust, I cannot believe you!"
She sounded so believable, he swallowed the lump in his throat, feeling a strange feeling bubble within his stomach.
Ziva's facial features relaxed into a slight smile, "Are you going to apologise now, or do I have to keep yelling?"
"Oh, um," Tony attempted to regain his composure, he cleared his throat, "Ziva, I'm sorry, I really never meant to hurt you like that, I want to let you know that I always trusted you, and you were always there for me, a happy addition to my otherwise long tiresome days," he clasped her hand in his, taking her by surprise, "You have always been able to make me smile, and I hate myself for what I did to you, I just..."
"Tony, it is okay, you can stop," Ziva said softly, laying her other hand on top of his.
"I'm so sorry Ziva," Tony said softly, entwining his fingers with hers.
"Me too," she murmured, leaning over to place a soft kiss on his cheek, wincing slightly as she rested back against the pillows.
"I think Gibbs thinks we're dating," Tony stated.
Ziva's head snapped up and she looked him straight in the eye, "What did you say?"
"I said we weren't."
"Aren't we?" Ziva asked, watching him closely.
"Excuse me?"
"Are we dating?" Ziva questioned again.
"What? No, well I don't think we are... are we? No," Tony stumbled with his words.
Ziva said nothing.
"Do you think we're dating?" he asked her.
She paused for a second before answering, "I do not know what I think, Tony."
"You think you don't hate me," Tony smiled
"That is a good start," Ziva agreed.
"But – what else do you think?" Tony asked, rubbing her hand reassuringly.
"I really, truly do not know."
"We need to have this conversation eventually, we..."
"Look, I will tell you when I know!" Ziva exclaimed, pulling her hand from his grip.
"Sorry."
"Stop saying that."
"Sorry," Tony grinned.
Ziva tried to fight a grin, punching him in the arm lightly
"Ow!" Tony held his arm beside himself, watching Ziva carefully.
"Stop making me laugh when I'm mad at you," she complained, folding her arms.
"Thought you weren't mad at me," Tony laughed.
"You should feel sorry for me, I just fell down a flight of stairs," Ziva said.
"No you're fine," Tony imitated her.
Ziva poked her tongue at him.
"Real mature, Zee-vah," Tony raised his eyebrows.
"Oh, and you are?" Ziva laughed.
"People expect differently from you," Tony grinned.
"Whatever," Ziva laughed, "I hate hospitals, I need to stay here overnight and I am perfectly fine."
"It's their job, Zee-vah."
"It's their job to be annoying, and put other people life on hold?" Ziva frowned, "I have work tomorrow, how am I going to get out of here in time to have a shower and get ready?"
Tony laughed, "You aren't going to work tomorrow."
Ziva narrowed her eyes, "Yes I am."
"God you're a stubborn woman, David."
"I hate hospitals," Ziva whined.
"You mentioned," Tony laughed, "I'll stay with you tonight."
Ziva's eyes widened.
"If you want me to, of course," Tony tacked on the end.
"Of course I would, you would be willing to do that?" She questioned, biting her shaking lip.
"Of course I would," he smiled.
"That is very sweet of you," Ziva commented raising an eyebrow.
"What can I say, I'm a sweet man."
"Sweet, caring," she raised her eyebrows suggestively, "tempting," she said remembering their conversation those few days prior, "You are a man of many personas," she commented.
"I'm surprising," Tony smiled.
"That is why I love you," Ziva laughed
Tony froze.
Oh dear, it had to come out eventually. I really hoped you enjoyed that, it always worries me when I post something that hasn't been BETA'd because I don't know how strangely my mind works, and it's good to have somebody read over it before I post it.
Ahahahaha, review?