Hey guys, it's Anya! I'm back with another chapter of Washed Away with the Rain! So, believe it or not, things are starting to wrap up with this fanfiction. There'll probably only be about 22-25 chapters so take it all in now. However there may be a sequel! Once the last chapter is posted, it may take awhile or the sequel may be canceled so any updates will be on my website (a link is on my profile page) so be sure to stay tuned once this is all out!

Also, I've noticed that some people have been adding this to their story alerts, but haven't been reviewing. Really guys, if you're going to take the time to add it to your alerts then just go ahead and give a small review. A little "nice chapter, keep it up!" would do. So please be sure to review, it keeps me going! ^__^

Chapter Nineteen

"Papa, welcome home!" A small girl about four years of age leapt into the arms of her father who had just returned home from work. They both seemed so happy together.

The scene changed and now that same girl, about six or seven years old now, was sleeping on her father's back. Her father was carrying her through an amusement park late at night. It was only the two of them; the only people that surrounded them were obviously strangers. A groggy inquire came from the girl, "Papa, are Mama and Ami okay?"

The scene changed once again. Now that same little girl was lying against a wall crying her tears out while her father repeatedly cursed and kicked her. She screamed out, "I'm your daughter! I'm right here!"

"Stop it, Papa!"

My eyes shot open and I bolted upwards so I was sitting instead of lying down. Beads of sweat had formed on my forehead and I couldn't stop panting. Despite the sweat running down my face and the panting, my body began shivering. No, my body wasn't shivering, it was quaking. The sweat I thought to be running down my face was actually hot tears. Not caring who heard me I allowed myself to wail as loud as I could.

Before April fourteenth of this year, I never would have allowed myself to cry so much. I was crying a lot more than I had been before. The last time I cried this much was when I was six years old and I was getting past the large amount of tragedy God had put out on my plate. Even now I'm not so sure how my heart got so twisted that it could never bear to have a tear shed or to let anyone else in. Even as I sat there, bawling my eyes out, my heart was still acting stubborn. Every tear I let out I wanted to take back, and every time I wanted to reach out I decided to keep to myself. I just couldn't help it.

The door opened in a nonchalant way and a voice said, "Hey I heard you from the living—" There he was. Tsukiyomi Ikuto was standing in the door way in all his glory.

Although I couldn't remember a thing from the night before; and since I couldn't piece anything together I just decided not to care about it. All I wanted to do was stop the crying. However, the tears just continued to spill and spill. It was really hard to stop them.

He walked up to me silently and placed his hand on top of my head comfortingly. I felt that the tears just wouldn't stop. For some reason something about Ikuto just made me want to cry and forget about everything in the world. I had no idea why, either. I just couldn't get my head around it.

"It's okay." He told me in a quiet voice, as if he didn't know what to say.

However, those words just hit me. I always told myself that I couldn't cry and that it wasn't okay. However, why was it that when a complete stranger came around and told me that it was okay, that I began to think that it was okay? Why was it always Ikuto who made me realize that it was okay? I couldn't figure out what was going wrong with me; it was nerve-racking.

As if it were a secret password, after hearing those words I wrapped my arms around his waist. The tears continued to spill and I buried my face into his stomach. A hand softly stroked my hair while the other rubbed my back soothingly. Tears ran down my face, just begging to be freed after so long. I thought I had emptied myself of tears back in April, but apparently I was oh so wrong. Tears weren't so easily emptied.

My heart wanted to burst. Everything I had locked up in there wanted an out. They wanted to come out so badly that their escape began to seem vital to my heart. My heart finally cracked, and the emotions I had locked up inside of me burst out into the open. It was both relieving and disappointing. I was relieved that I could finally open up, but I was also disappointed that my heart was so easily swayed.

"I really miss him!" I wailed into Ikuto's stomach. "I never really said I hated him! He just scares me so much! I'm afraid he'll take everything away from me again! I don't want to lose anyone else! I just want to be happy! I just want my mom and my little sister and my dad! I just want to go home and tell them that I love them! But I can't do that! I can't do that!"

Words of similarity ran on and on for awhile. I would constantly repeat myself and just talk in circles. I also felt sorry for Ikuto; he had to stand there and process everything that I said. I made sure that I apologized to him several times as I cried; in fact, I apologized about twenty times if I remember correctly.

However, my heart felt so freed after crying and talking about my issues with Ikuto. Well, more like blabbering on and on about my father and my real feelings about him. Sure I covered up his face with a bunny sticker on my family portrait; however I never really said that I hated him. He just scared me. Back when I was six, he took away everything that I had left and I was always afraid that he would do it again. I really did miss my father; when he's sober he's one of the kindest people in the world. Yet after randomly showing up at my foster mother's house, which he had always known the location of but never visited, I was even more frightened. I may have yelled at him saying that I hated him, but I truly didn't hate him. In fact, all I ever did was worry about him when I got my head around it.

"You know," Ikuto began talking once my wailing had succumbed to mere hiccups. "My father disappeared when I was just a little kid."

I looked up at him, the tears streaked across my face were starting to dry up. I asked, "Really?"

He replied, "He did. So if you can still find your father, then you should take the chance to fix things. It's never too late."

"Ikuto, thank you…" I mumbled as I held onto him tightly. Thinking I might as well let everything out, I decided to say, "I feel like I can tell you anything."

There was no reply. Ikuto merely patted my head in return. I felt so safe with Ikuto, like I could say or do anything and he would accept it. My heart longed for this moment to never end, I just wanted to stay with Ikuto like this for the rest of eternity. If this were the end of the world, then I would be fine with just that. Nothing could make me happier than this.

"Do you think that things would be better if I spoke to him?" I decided to ask.

Ikuto seemed to be able to relate to my situation, so I decided to talk to him about it. When I was placed into my foster home with Ryuu, I had begun to attend therapy sessions. Everyone thought that it would be good for me to talk to somebody about my problems. However, I refused to talk to anyone about my issues. When I set eyes on the therapist, I knew that she didn't understand me. She was merely being paid to listen to me talk about my feelings; there was no guarantee that she would help me. I detested that. No one understood how I felt, and no one understood the pain I was feeling.

However, Ikuto was different. It felt like Ikuto understood what I was feeling. It felt like Ikuto could help me sort out what issues I had. He didn't even have to say anything, just speaking to him made me feel like my problems would be sorted out almost automatically.

"It doesn't matter what I think. It only matters what you think." He informed me. "Do you think that things will be better if you speak to him?"

I froze. If I were to talk to him, what would I expect? Would I expect everything to go back to normal between us? Would I expect him to just leave and never come back? What in the world did I expect for him to do?

"I…" I tried to think up an answer so I wouldn't leave Ikuto waiting. "I don't know…" I confessed in a hushed tone.

He asserted me, "It's okay not to know. What's important is that you need to talk to him when you're ready. And are you ready?"

My heartbeat quickened. The answer of what to do was so obvious, but was I really ready to do this? I had just emptied out my heart to Ikuto, and that in itself was a big step to becoming happy. However, was I ready to take another huge step? Heck, it wasn't just a step, but a leap. I was so confused; I had no idea what to do.

"I don't think I am…" I whispered.

"It's okay." He told me. Just like before, as if it were a secret password, I began to weep into his stomach again. This time I didn't try to hold back the tears; I just let them spill.

Aw, it looks like Amu's opening up! Isn't that just sweet? Is Amu going to wake up and realize that she unknowingly arrived at Ikuto's house, or will she just keep on crying? Find out in the next chapter of Washed Away with the Rain! Until next time!

Please Review!
(I hope to get past 150 by the time this fanfiction is over)

P.S.
My writer's block is starting to subside with this story.
So hopefully chapter 20 will be out soon!
Bye-bye~!