"This sucks." Taylor threw down her book in despair and checked her watch. Her final was in three hours and she didn't feel ready for it at all. True she had been studying like mad the past two days, but the information didn't seem to want to sink in. Taylor knew the reason of course, Ryan was in Rhode Island to see Seth—it was an odd time for him to come with finals and all—but all the same he had arrived the night before and the fact that he was so close by and had made no effort to see her yet, was madding to her.

Yes, their emails and phone calls continued to be strained, short affairs, but she had hoped that he would see her. It seemed to Taylor that he had not gotten over the fact that she had kissed him, even though he swore to her that he was over it. What then was the problem? Couldn't they at least try to make things go back to normal?

Seth had given her no help; he had simply shrugged his shoulders and told Taylor that Ryan was as tight lipped about the situation to him as he was to her. It was all very frustrating to the girl, enough so that she could not concentrate on her readings about the Pass Over War between Israel and the Arab allies.

The morning was bright and warm and laying down her books, Taylor glanced out her open window. The campus sparkled in an emerald hue and the sweet spring air promised more rain. It had rained for three days straight but she didn't mind that; the rain did not depress her—no, it bathed the world with a fine due and made everything appear fresh and good.

Her mood could not be truly spoiled in this fragrant world, and so she decided to forgo her studies for a bit and take a morning walk. The campus was a buzz with students either hurrying to exams, the students unprepared and frantic, or with students who took their time, not anxious for the oncoming slaughter.

Taylor stopped by a coffee cart and after making her purchase, sat down on a dry bench. Inhaling the soft aroma of her drink, she let her mind wander over her first year at Brown. Certainly it had been an eventful year; she had met friends and had briefly found romance. Yes, all in all she had experienced a happy year at her new home and she looked forward to two more years of success and happiness. Taylor, as she sipped her coffee, felt her heart sore free, high into the air and over the trees. Life became suddenly splendid for a moment and she almost forgot about her exam and her ongoing drama with Ryan Atwood.

"Who cares if he doesn't make an effort?" She liked the way the words sounded in her ears; maybe, while sitting on this bench, she was finally breaking through, maybe she was working her way past him. If only she could finally shake free of him, since he obviously did not want any part of her. Yes, it was right, and it was good.

She finished her coffee and took a look at her watch; there was still two hours and thirty minutes until her exam. The wiliness and wanting to study had passed; in this green world Taylor suddenly found herself carefree. She wanted to run naked through the streets and kiss the first attractive boy she saw, consequences be damned. Exams and loves will come and go, Taylor thought to herself, but this moment, this day, would only happen once. Who cares if it is only a fleeting moment, a fleeting, dying, moment of pleasure and happiness? It was here, once, and that was all that mattered. Nothing, not even death, could take that moment away from her. It was to be imprinted on her mind, forever; the green world with the sharp smell of approaching rain was vivid throughout her senses and she would not trade it in for anything.

"Taylor." A voice, a voice from the past that she did not immediately place, called for her. She turned around and her smile, her carefree attitude, was swept away because he was standing there before her, looking at her.

"Ryan?" She knew he was here, knew he was in Newport, but all the same, she was stunned. "What are you doing here?"

"I was heading over to your dorm—I wanted to talk to you." He looked gorgeous in the sunlight, and as Taylor stood there, watching him silently, she said to herself that she loved him, had to have him.

"Oh?" Her mind was on fire and whatever words she wanted to form would not take shape.

"Can we sit down?" He motioned to the bench and she took a seat next to him; his eyes were on her as she looked to the ground, nervous and excited. "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay." She smiled and looked at him now; his eyes were warm and friendly and for some reason, they gave her hope, hope for something that she could not have imagined. "What's going on?"

"I—I." He started but could not finish whatever thought he had in mind. "I'm not good at talking Taylor—I always relied on you for that—and Seth." He grinned shyly at her and the amusement in his eyes made her heart beat faster. Is he here for me? She asked herself, does he really want me? He tried to continue but he faltered, her hazel eyes seemed to stun him, paralysis him.

"What's the matter?" His look gave her courage; she cautiously put her hand out and rested it softly on his. He did not stir; he simply looked at her and kissed her. It was a sweet kiss, a tender kiss. His lips brushed hers and it was like rain on a flower; her petals opened and received his offering. Ryan backed away and smiled at Taylor and before she could say another word he kissed her again, with longing and love.

"I didn't know how to say it—but I want you, I want to be with you again—ever since that kiss last winter I couldn't stop thinking about you—I tried to make it work with Sadie but every time I kissed her I was kissing you." He explained to her, in the simplest of words, that he couldn't get her out of his head, no matter how hard he tried, and that he realized that it was she that he wanted to be with. "I realized I didn't want it to work with Sadie—I wanted it to work with you."

"Yes…" Taylor was unable to say a word; inside her heart she was singing, laughing but her brain had not yet been able to catch up yet.

"Taylor?" Ryan frowned slightly, he seemed to have expected so much more from her. "Did you hear what I said?"

"I did." She squeezed his hand tightly and looked at him, her hazel eyes ablaze. "Oh Ryan." She flung her arms around him and hugged him tightly as she kissed his neck. "I…"

"Are you happy?"

"So happy." She smiled and as her muscles formed that smile it was like her brain finally registered the words he had spoken to her. "So happy." She kissed him again and again, longer and more lovingly. "I promise to show you how happy I am tonight."

"I was worried."

"You ever been so happy that nothing you could say would do that emotion justice?"

"I think so." He watched her, amused. "I'll take you out to dinner tonight?"

"Yes—dinner tonight." Taylor felt like she was in a trance; she frowned slightly and asked Ryan to pinch her. "If this is a dream I want to know." He pinched her and laughed at her when she pouted in pain. "Did Seth know about all this?"

"For a while now."

"How long have you known?"

"A week or so—I broke up with Sadie when I was sure." Taylor thought about poor sweet Sadie.

"How is she?"

"Sad."

"I thought you were angry with me."

"I was at first, but then I couldn't stop thinking about you—I was so confused."

"That's why it was all so awkward."

"I didn't know what to say." He put his arms around her waist and pulled her close to her; kissing her ear, she melted into him.

"What happened—I mean, when did you realize?"

"That I wanted you?" Ryan hugged her body and ran his hands through her auburn hair. "I had been thinking about you a lot and then one day I woke and I wasn't thinking about at all; it was like you had slipped out of my mind."

"Well that's something a woman wants to hear."

"It made me realize that you were out there in the world, sweet and wonderful and that if I wasn't thinking about you, someone would be, and I couldn't handle that. Right then and there I made the choice that you were the girl for me; that it wasn't an infatuation, I wanted to fall in love with you again."

"I think those are the most words you've ever used together Ryan" she teased him as she kissed him. "I want to fall in love with you too."