Welcome! For those few(at east 2-3) of you that are reading, your confusion will be rewarded! For in this chapter the plot actually starts to make sense! I hope…
I own nothing except ideas.
PS: I think the Hokage hat is one of the silliest ever.
Chapter 3: Reason
It had been a quick decision. While it was annoying as hell, (Tsunade had said if she had to wear it again she would kill someone), her wearing the hat was decided on as being the best option. But then there arose problem 2.
"Umm, Tsunade, who is going to, what was the word he used, decorate the monument?" Jiraya asked as Tsunade looked through her official mess, I mean closet, to find the hat.
"Does it matter? We just need to make sure it is done, preferably at night sometime. In his file didn't it say something about Naruto having taken on a group of younger ninja's as his little gang?"
"I guess I'll go track them down." Jiraya said, before poofing away.
-0-0-0-0-
Asuma woke up and hopped out of bed, he loved mornings. He got dressed and went to grab a quick bite to eat and a new packet of cigarettes before he met with his group, though stopped halfway to the door, and checked on his nephew in the next room. As he started to open Kohanamaru's door, he saw a little piece of paper, that read "Dear Uncle, I was pulled away on a mission last night, and am sleeping in. don't enter." Asuma looked at it blankly, and absent mindedly reached into his pocket for a cigarette.
He peeked in, and after checking that in fact he was all right, he went off. He closed the door of his apartment and looked up, and stared.
He kept looking, reaching for his cigarettes again, even through he had none. "Someone is going to die." He thought, as he ran to the Hokage office. No one insults my dad like that!"
Back in his apartment, Kohanamaru sneezed in his sleep.
-0-0-0-0-
Tsunade was annoyed, again. It seemed to be happening a lot. She had made a point since becoming Hokage to never wear the stupid hat. It was too big, it was too heavy, and it was like a wedding dress, huge, unnecessary. That was the other reason why people don't ever wear their wedding dresses after the wedding, not just bad luck. They suck to be in, and you hit things with the sides.
As she looked up to the sky for a sign from heaven, she noticed some tiny writing on the brim. Careful not to attract attention from the others in the room, she concentrated on it.
"Well I'll be damned…" One Hokage, she didn't know which, had had an entire book transcribed onto the brim of the hat in tiny writing. Quickly moving her eyes to the end, she saw an address, "probably for when you finish this book and need a new one."
"Oh well, now just to wait for Naruto to show his orange self."
-0-0-0-0-
As a completely coincidently event to that last statement, Naruto had in fact henged his disguise a orange outfit before going off to the Hokage tower.
He hadn't expected them to actually do that to the monument, though he expected they just put some genin on it. He calmly trotted toward the tower, smiling as he went.
-0-0-0-0-
"Hokage-sama, how did the meeting go?" Tsunade was snapped out of her reading by some random Chunin body guard.
"It went well, thank you." She said quickly, she was at the climax of the book, and wanted to get into her office to finish. All thoughts of Naruto, attacks on the village by henged dead people, and graffiti had gone from her mind.
She quietly stepped into her office, and sat down, getting back to her reading. She did this for a few minutes, before a polite cough interrupted her. She looked up to see a women sitting in a chair looking at her.
"Whoever you are I'm busy now. Shoo." Tsunade looked up again, not expecting the person to actually answer.
"Wow Baa-chan, you must really like that hat. I thought you hated it myself." Tsunade stopped reading.
"Naruto?" She looked strait at her guest, and frowned. "Since when did you become a girl?"
"Well I figured that people would be looking for a man more than a girl, so I just henged into one." Tsunade nodded, had he not called her Baa-chan, she would never have thought that she was Naruto.
"Well can you switch back now?" Naruto shrugged and made a hand sign.
In a poof, a completely different person sat in front of her, and it didn't look like Naruto, most obviously the hair. Instead of the bright yellow, his hair was now a yellowish orange, with different parts being slightly different shades. He wore a orange jacket over a blue t-shirt, short kakis and the generic ninja sandals.
Tsunade, being a ninja, didn't like this. She was about to ask for more proof that he was Naruto when she got it in two things. The first was the necklace. Her necklace, the cursed necklace she had given him, was still around his neck. She had, for a few months blamed his disappearance on her giving him the necklace, and seeing him with it alive almost brought her to tears. The second give was his smile, which did in fact bring her to tears.
After all this time, after disappearing, after three years he still and the same foxy grin as always.
"Well Naruto, you have some explaining to do. Where were you? What did you do and why the hell did you think ballet was more important than your home?"
"I guess I'll start from the beginning." Naruto reclined in the chair, and seemed to be thinking. "So it all started when I was getting my ass kicked by Sauske…
-0-0-0-0-
At the valley of the end(For the record, starting on what my trans counts as page 10 of chap 227)
"Do you know Naruto… That if both you and your opponent are first class ninjas, you can only read inside each other's when your fists meet." Sauske stood, smirking evilly as his curse marks spread throughout his body. "There is no need for words. You're naïve aren't you, Naruto?"
Giving Naruto no time to think of a comeback, Sauske's hands blurred, and he quickly shot several fireballs at Naruto. Naruto dodged, but just when he was out of the fireball's range, Sauske appeared next to him and slammed him foot into Naruto's head.
All of Naruto's joints seemed to die down, while Sauske just seemed to get faster. And so, Naruto's mind wandered as he continuously got hit by his friend. He thought of their friendship, their days at the academy, but he was suddenly pulled out of his flashbacks by being lifted and held several feet above the water.
He saw Sauske's hand, glowing with the chidori's energy, going back as to stab him, and he saw it starting to move forward. But just as his mind was going to give up, he was somewhere else.
Naruto fell unto the cold, wet ground. He got up, rubbing his sore but, and looked around.
"Kid, can't you scratch you ass somewhere else?" Naruto looked up, and immediately saw the huge nine tailed fox creature of legend, the Kyubi himself, behind his huge cage or mental will and charka. "If you haven't noticed, we have a problem."
"Shut up Kyubi." Naruto stood up strait and looked at him. "What is the point of you belittling me if I'm going to die."
"Kid, if you die, I die. And we all know how important I am. And if I didn't die, I'd either be free to wreck havoc on your favorite home town, or by rite of cast would go to Sauske's belly. I don't like either." The Kyubi's form shifted, until he was merely twice Naruto's size instead of several stories. "Have you ever heard of dissociative identity disorder?" seeing Naruto's blank face, the Kyubi continued. "Having multiple personalities, idiot."
"Oh that!" This was an area Naruto knew. Having few friends to play with, and no parents to tell him not to, Naruto watched a lot of TV. "Well isn't that what we have? I mean I'm personality one, and you're personality two!" suddenly, Naruto remembered what usually happened to people with different personalities. "Wait, are you going to suppress my mind into nothingness and take over? Cause if that is the case several seconds before I die is a bad time."
"Dumbass, we aren't multiple personalities, we are multiple people. You are the only personality you have, I just happen to live here. But that problem can be fixed." The Kyubi smiled, and Naruto shuddered. The Kyubi's face reminded him of that one lawyer that sued him for being a public hazard.
"I know a jutsu that will allow you to mix your mind with mine. The are many benefits, you get more charka, you get stronger, I can talk to you without pulling you here, and that's not all! If you act now, I can also make sure Sauske doesn't kill you!"
Naruto eyed him deeply. "What's in it for you?" The fox just grinned more.
"I know you won't let me for free, so I'll just ask for a few days, like maybe, four times a month." Once again seeing Naruto's blank expression, the Kyubi continued. "I mean that I get control of the body once in a while. I promise not to kill anyone unless if they attack me, and I won't put any lasting damage on you or your friends."
Naruto sat in deep thought. While on one hand, letting Sauske have the Kyubi would be a bad thing, and it being released was worse. But was giving the Kyubi his body for even a day a good alternative? "Three days a month, or I leave us to die."
"Deal kid. Just do the following seals and pull off that seal there. I'll start my part over here." The Kyubi's hands morphed into that of a human, which started doing seals. Naruto quickly copied them, and pulled the seal off.
"Kid, you're lucky I'm not an evil asshole." The area started to shake, and the walls seemed to be changing. "had I lied about that jutsu, I could've just killed you. Either way, you better go, life in danger and all that. If you get in too deep I'll come and save you." Naruto suddenly found himself back in his body, and Sauske still attacking him.
"It's too late now!! Naruto!" Sauske slammed him chidori'd hand into Naruto's chest, but about an inch away, his hand shoot outward and redirected the attack from his heart, instead impaling his right lung. "You prevented me from hitting you heart at the last second…But that was pointless. I've impaled your right lung."
"I think we noticed dumbass." The Kyubi mentally added, and Naruto barely kept his smile under check. Sauske moved his hand to the limb boys thought, and started to squeeze.
"NOW!" Naruto's hand zoomed forward and grabbed Sauske's, almost breaking this bone. "Now let's see how much we can scare him, pump me some charka." A quick genjutsu later, Sauske was facing Naruto, and an illusion of the Kyubi's original form. Then, just to add flare, all of Naruto's injuries healed themselves. "Thanks big guy."
"Sauske! You won't go to Orochimaru! Even if I break the bones in your arms and legs, I will stop you!" And so the fight went on. But even with the boost, once Sauske unlocked the final level of the Sharingan, the fight became one sided.
"Kyubi! I thought you said I'd be stronger, more charka, and all that shit!"
"You have to give it time, and watch out." Before Naruto could react, Sauske's foot had sent him flying backward into the water. "Can't fight anymore, shit…"
"If you say so idiot. Let's have fun." Naruto slowly fell into unconsciousness, and the Kyubi came out, his red charka responding to its master by surrounding Naruto's body. "Not as good as my old body, but the charka should make it less annoying."And so, once again, they fought. 'Let's see if I can still do that charka limb thing…" His charka burst outward in the shape of a hand and punched Sauske in the head. "Yep."
And so it continued, the Kyubi having the upper hand. That is, until Sauske pulled out his new super move. "I'm not hurt…Naruto." His skin and hair started to change colors. "You were special, but, I am more special than you."
"That snake basted, how'd he inject demon DNA into a human?" The kyubi's mind was racing, what the hell to do now? "Special, is that what it is…"
The battle grew weird then, and by growing weird we mean Sauske growing two new wing like arms. But as both boys charged each other, about to test the new rasengan and chidori against each other again, the Kyubi remembered something.
-Flashback-
"…and I won't put any lasting damage on you or your friends."
-Flashback end-
"Ah hell, Naruto still thinks this guy is a friend, and by the rules of that damn jutsu, I have to keep up my bargain." The Kyubi adjusted his aim so that it would hit Sauske's headband instead of his face, and let himself get hurt.
"Better play dead, otherwise we'll have to continue the fight, which would end up with the emo chicken shit head getting killed." The Kyubi did so, and Sauske left. "That smells like the one eyed pervert, better let Naruto take over for now." There was a brief period of mental confusion, and the next thing Naruto knew he was over Kakashi's shoulder with the Kyubi lecturing him mentally.
"I'll put it this way kid, don't tell anyone about us, or else people will actually have a real reason to hate you."
"Kakashi sensei…what about Sauske?" But Naruto already knew. Even without the Kyubi's following explanation, or Kakashi talking to the med team, he knew. It looked like his friend was gone for good now.
-0-0-0-0-
'So you and the Kyubi are one and the same now?" Tsunade had listened to his story, though some parts she had heard before when he had first come back. She had never suspected he had held anything back, but then again Naruto surprised people a lot.
"You're a med nin, do alternate personalities count as the same person?" Naruto had returned form his reclined position to a strait one, respecting the Hokage slightly more. "We are alternates of each other now, he can come out whenever he wants really, but usually I can stop him if need be. For instance, he wanted to come out to prove a point to you, but I stopped him because it would alert a lot of people that we are here."
"I think I understand you now. But why the secrecy, why the letter, and why the hell the dance school?" Naruto smiled again, and leaned back.
"I was just getting to that."
-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-
Endnotes:
Finally, now that should clear some things up.
Most of this chapter was just changing a few things from the manga, so it should be easy enough to follow.
For the record, the single idea that spawned this whole series, was the following.
"Why is it that the Kyubi never gets control of the body in these fanfics?"
Seriously, I've seen people fuse him with Naruto all the time, but NEVER have I seen them fuse as equals, always as the Kyubi either leaving, or being shoving into some new host( sword, small/cute fox, etc). I think the Kyubi needs some love.