Interestingly, I accidentally posted this as a new chapter to Holiday Revelation, oops.
Well in a surprise to me, and more importantly, myself, someone has actually added my story to their favorites. All I can ask is, what is wrong with you? No offence, but seriously?
Just joking, anyway, on with the story!
Chapter 4: Things Start to Make Sense.
"I think I understand you now. But why the secrecy, why the letter, and why the hell the dance school?" Naruto smiled again, and leaned back.
"I was just getting to that. Well actually, let me start with when I left Jiraya, is that ok?" Tsunade nodded, so Naruto went back into story telling mode, and started doing just that. "Well is started with Jiraya saying…"
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"Oi! Naruto! I'm going off to do research for a hour, try not to get abducted!" Jiraya yelled as he got up and started walking into town.
'WHAT! How can you leave me?" Naruto stopped his jutsu practice and whined. "How do you know that the Akatsuki won't come and kill little old me!" Naruto gave Jiraya the puppy dog face, but by that time Jiraya had left.
"Good god I'm happy he's gone. Let's stop screwing around with this jutsu and work on your other skills." Naruto nodded, before doing a complete version of the jutsu Jiraya had just been trying to teach him, and sitting down to rest for a minute, though he didn't really need to at the moment.
After the mental fusion, or whatever the hell it was, Naruto found that his near boundless stamina had been replaced by godly stamina, and it usually took him pulling an all nighter of practice to really feel tired. But, sadly, that was not the only problem about the fusion.
Naruto had noticed the changes a week after he left with Jiraya. His ears seemed to be moving upward, becoming pointed, and furry, while he had major lower back pains. He found out, in a rather embarrassing way, he was growing a tail.
After the screaming, fainting, and Kyubi taking over so the old pervert didn't need to take him out of a toilet, he started coming to grips with the concept.
-Flashback-
"What the hell is going on Kyubi! You never said I'd grow a god damned tail!" Naruto was running besides Jiraya, trying to make good time to the next town. But mentally, he was arguing with his new "soul mate".
"Well we fused you baka, what did you expect, no side effects? I mean, I even said that there would be many benefits, just because I didn't mention your ears becoming fox ears or you growing a tail out your ass, doesn't mean it wouldn't happen. You should've asked about the effects after the battle with Emo-teme."
"Stop trying to pin this on me just because it is my fault! Just tell me how to fix the problem!"
"It is easy, kinda. If you just use henge, then some people, such as the Sannin, the emo moron, his brother, and your pirate friend, will know you are using one. That and every member of the shiny eye clan will be able to see through it." Even though the Kyubi had no idea of the names of the people he was talking about, he still used his little joke-names as if they were the real ones.
"So that is Jiraya, Tsunade, Mr. Gay Snake man, the precious village emo, an s rank missing nin that is with an evil organization to kill me, and um, no clue who you mean by pirate, and all of the Hyugas. That isn't too many people."
"Idiot! The village leader, your teacher, your biggest foe, and your arch nemisis aren't people your want to be showing signs of me too! And how can you not know Mr. Pirate? He is that one perverted man that ass raped you, wears an eye patch, and is always late to everything! As for the Hyuginias, or whatever you called them, they are the most influential clan in the village! If they think you are suddenly more foxy then normal, and god forbid hiding it, they will get a lynch mob started."
"Sensei, what does lynch mean?" Naruto asked Jiraya the question, because any answer from the fox would be confusing and annoying.
"It is a mob beating the shit out of someone, usually including killing them and or hanging their bodies off of trees, why do you ask?" Jiraya looked at Naruto with a somewhat confused look. Lynching wasn't something he expected to teach someone.
"Just curious." Jiraya rolled his eyes, "Youth today. All I was curious about when I was young were women, and wondering why Tsunade didn't have a chest yet."
" Ok Kyubi, ignoring your description of Kakashi, what do you suggest?"
"Well, I know an advanced version of Henge we could use. It is more or less the same thing, just better at hiding it. Next time we stop, I'll help you get through it."
-End flashback-
Naruto got up, and prepared himself for his training. He started to walk out a little from camp, but stopped when he heard something. Trying not to draw attention he spun around and went into camp. "Did you hear that Kyubi?"
"Yah, sounded like a cloak getting caught on a branch for a second."
"And you know that sound so well, how? Did you have a huge fox cape or something?"
"Shut up! It is most likely those cloak wearing nut jobs, the A-cat-sumo or whatever. They're best position would be in those woods over there, so let's assume that they are over there. You think we can hold them off?"
"No, but I don't think Jiraya would get here in time if I tried to call him. What should I do?"
"Well kid, here is how I see it. I used to know some people back when I was not quite as evil, and they owe me favors, so I'd say ditch Jiraya and go to them. This way, they can't just follow the trail of nose blood to find you! If you stay with him, your chances of being found go up since he is so well known. But if you go away, use that improved henge to hide yourself, you could get stronger without any interruptions. Just think, a teacher that doesn't take voyeurism breaks!"
"How can I be sure that this isn't an excuse to get me killed and you leave my body."
"You don't, but my plan as of know includes lighting a forest fire, annoying the hell out of an evil organization, and meeting a ninja who could probably beat the shit out of me at my full power."
"I'm in, what do we do?"
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Itachi Uchiha calmly watched the target from the trees. He had almost went into their trap in the field, but no such luck. He appeared to be standing, staring into space in thought. Itachi made several gestures to his partner, Kisame who started making gestures back. They continued to bicker in their little gesture language, when Naruto started moving toward them.
Immediately stopping, the duo watched him get closer. Had he seen them? Itachi's hand slipped into his cloak, gripping his weapon of choice. (starting said song playing might not be a bad idea, stuff will be blowing up soon.)
But Naruto continued into the forest, not even looking up as he crossed under them. Kisame looked over at Itachi, shrugged, and gave pursuit in the canopy. Itachi, taking his hand out of his cloak followed.
Several minutes in, Naruto came to a stop in the middle of a field. "Come out you two! I know you're there!" Itachi gave a wordless nod to Kisame, and the pair dropped into the clearing.
"So, you decided to come quietly brat. Good choice." Kisame smiled, showing all his sharp teeth at the youth. "Don't you think that shows great brains Itachi?"
"Yes indeed Kisame, it does." Itachi looked blankly at Naruto, "A little too smart for our prey here."
Naruto opened his mouth to yell at them, but cut himself off. "See Itachi, he knows his place. Below us."
"No." The words were low, solemn, and almost actually scared the Uchiha prodigy. "I won't be coming with you."
"Then why did you bother coming here brat, back there you had the home ground advantage?"
"So I could do this."
"Itachi's Sharingan blurred as he copied the signs Naruto made. "Seems like some fire jutsu, but why would that work on us?" Naruto finished his seals and trust his hands toward them. Itachi copied him movements, getting between him and Kisame.
Nothing happened. Itachi looked at the boy, who for some reason seemed quite pleased "What is he, aw fu…"
"Kisame! Move!" Itachi jumped out of the way, as a huge fireball smashed into the ground that he had just been standing on a second before. Kisame hadn't gotten out of the way in time, and was sent backward by the explosion.
Itachi started toward Naruto, but he had already started him new seals. "You want to play with fire? Here is your fire!" Itachi's hand became enveloped in dark flame as he appeared right in front of Naruto. Less then a second before his hand shot forward, dealing a winning hit unto Naruto, all hell broke lose.
The ground rumbled, sending Itachi's hand off target, barely hitting Naruto's arm. Naruto just smiled as the arm just healed itself up. "I'm going to make this place go boom now, see yah." Naruto started laughing as fire started bursting out of the ground, sending heat, molten rock, and more fire all over the area. Itachi jumped back to avoid the deadly flames.
"No, damn it, we can't lose the Kyubi!" from behind a blast of water shot toward Naruto, pegging him and sending him into a tree. Kisame smirked, "Go boom my ass, this little fire storm is nothing."
Naruto slowly rose off the ground, once again putting on his foxy grin. "Well then, I guess it is time for the big one." A blur of hand seals started. Itachi, not even bothering to try and copy them, threw two kunai, and quickly shadow cloned them into fifty.
As the bladed projectiles came close to Naruto, he let out a scream, and fire shot out of his body. In fact, think ground zero of a small bomb here. The pair of missing nin jumped back as fast as they could, barely getting out of rang in time, but what remained made them grown in agony.
Clones. Freaking shadow clones. "Little brat must've put them in after his flame passed the place they would come in." Suddenly, without warning, the clones ran in every direction. "Shit Itachi, get that halve, I'll get this half!"
But even those two could get all of them. Itachi cursed before yelling to Kisame. "Quick, let's get out of here before Jiraya comes back." Kisame nodded, and they both left.
Less then ten seconds after they left, Jiraya arrived. "No, aw shit." He looked around, calling out for hours. Nothing.
"God damn it, I screwed up big time.' Jiraya looked up to the sky, sing the sun as an excuse for tears to start forming. "Naruto…"
But little did he, or Kisame and Itachi know, a small, woodland creature was getting it's ass away from that area as soon as possible. The creature smirked in a way only cute fuzzy things can, (aka evilly) and in it's own, squeaky language, said,
"Free."
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"I'm seeing a lot of fire jutsu here, and last I heard you didn't use any."
"Well to be fair Tsunade, the only Jutsu's I knew before I left with Jiraya were bunshin, henge, and rasengan. Kakashi didn't really teach much jutsu, and the academy was more basic fighting skills." Naruto was still leaning back, hoping for this interruption to end soon so he could get back he his story of pure awesome.
"So who taught you all those then? Jiraya said he'd only managed to teach you four Jutsu's before you left."
"Five. I knew the one he thought he didn't finish the day I left. But either way, I don't technically know any fire Jutsu's either."
Tsunade looked at him blankly for a minute, and sighed. "So how much of your little story was a lie then? How did you really escape?"
"I said I knew no fire Jutsu's Didn't say I didn't know something better." Naruto smiled, and held his hand up. In the blink of an eye, it was on fire.
Tsunade flinched, before reaching for something to put out the flames, but in front of her eyes, it went out, leaving Naruto and his cloths unharmed. "Explain. Then explain how that isn't a jutsu."
"Well, literally, a jutsu is a skill using you charka to create something, such as fire, and do shit with it. None of my attacks work like that. It is a little complicated, and I guess I forgot to go over it before, so…"
-0-0-0-0-
Some random campsite of Jiraya and Naruto
Naruto lay down on the ground in his sleeping bag, having a heated discussion with the Kyubi.
"What the hell is wrong with my jacket! It kicks more ass then Chuck Norris!"
"You wear it all the freaking time! You don't usually wear heavy winter coats in the summer idiot! What is so great about it anyway? It is just a coat, and it's color makes it suck even more."
"Don't diss orange you furry bastard! And for your knowledge, I keep lots of stuff in that coat! Like weapons, some granola bars, some first aid shit, the works. And anyway, I'm always cold, so I always wear it."
"For Agni's sake! How can you still be cold! What are you, a polar bear?"
"No, just cold."
The Kyubi sighed, and thought of a possible explanation. Suddenly, the answer hit him like a ton of bricks. That is to say, not very painfully and breaking several bones in the process, the other way.
"Kid, does it always seem to you that you should be hotter then you are, and that you are missing a part of your soul?:
"Um… weird wording, but I guess. Why?"
"Because I can fix the problem. You know how you have a summoning project with the frogs?"
"Yah, kinda hard to forgot getting pushed off a cliff. Your point?"
"Well kid, you had to sign a legally binding contract with the Toad boss, right? Now what I am going to tell you about is how to get yourself a contract with the boss of fire! Doesn't that kick ass!"
"Sounds like BS, what are you going to say next, that you're going to give me the contract to summon foxes, I really have a kick ass bloodline limit in my eyes that is superior to both the Sharingan and the Byakugan combined, or who knows, maybe the Yondiame is my dad!"
"Sorry, but that sounds like BS to even me! But don't diss contracts with gods, they help in the long run. So yes or no?"
"sure, let's see if your stupid little drug induced made up contract really works. When can we work on it?"
"Don't take that tone of thought with me! We'll ask for some free time at the next town, we can slip away and do it then."
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Next town
"I can't believe you talked me into this." After getting the free time from Jiraya, Naruto was ordered to buy several things from various stores. "I mean, how are a ladle, butter, and this other crap going to help me!"
"Naruto, were you ever taught any religion when you were young?"
"Ummm, back in the orphanage, the people in charge would read bible sermons, mostly about killing evil things, why?"
"It explains your lack of knowledge, but even if you had any knowledge of the proper religion, not all of the religion is right. No religion is completely right, you have to find the certain bits of each that are true. For instance, the ceremony of prayer to Agni outlined in the Ramayana is correct, and using it, we can meet the god of flame."
"Agni? Sounds like some pagan god." Naruto flinched as the Kyubi started yelling at him about religious tolerance, and quickly proceeded with the ceremony. Then he waited. "What now you fox bastard?"
"Wait. And give me control when I ask for it, I'll need to explain shit to him."
Suddenly, the fire Naruto had lit rose to life, reforming itself into a face. Well, scratch that, two faces, both red, and with black eyes and hair.
"What did I say about Pagan! Only Pagan gods have two heads!"
"Who has summoned me?" The first head spoke, with the other head nodding in agreement to the question.
"Just say as I tell you kid." "Ok."
"Great Agni, god of Fire and sacrifices, can I please has a tiny part of your power as your earthly representative?"
The two faces looked at him in shock, before the second answered. "It is true, we have been without an avatar for a long time, but why choose you?"
Before the Kyubi could tell him what to say, Naruto asked his own stupid question. "Avatar, isn't that some stupid TV show?" The flames that formed the heads suddenly grew to three times the size, burning Naruto and causing him to go backward.
"DAMN THAT SHOW! TAKING OUR WORD AND MAKING IT MEAN COMPLETE AND UDDER SHIT! Calming down, the heads returned to normal size. "No, in reality, it doesn't. I just means our earthly form and representative."
"Weird, wonder why they used that as their great word of choice." Naruto shrugged, finally letting the now scared shitless Kyubi take control and talk. "You should choose him because your last Avatar is within him."
Both heads seemed startled, become once more calming down. "Oh, you. Didn't you die, like, twice?"
"Kinda, but can you give the kid some powers, he needs all the help he can get." Kyubi-Naruto smiled, before bowing to the god.
"We see no reason not, he shall receive the tiniest fraction of our power." With that, the heads became fire once again. Naruto slid into control of his body once again.
"Well, what now?" "Wait."
Suddenly, the fire picked up, and seemed to tip over unto Naruto. He screamed, but found no pain. His eyes widened, as the flames went into his body. "Wow."
"Yep! No flames can hurt you now, and with training, you can summon flames with no seals, manipulate pre existing fire, and even screw around with heat! Nothing like raising the temperature in a room twenty degrees to get someone to remove an article of clothing."
"You, you pervert! How dare you say I'd do that!"
"Because you're thinking of doing it to your precious Sakura right now. But back to the current problem, while the flames do nothing to you, your clothes are still going to get destroyed. So we have to say goodbye to that coat, and get something fireproof."
"Did you put me through all of this just to make me get rid of that coat?"
"Maybe."
-0-0-0-0-
"So you now work for a god eh?" Tsunade really didn't follow much of what had happened; only that the orange eyesore was gone, and that Naruto could now make flames his bitch.
"Yah, only downside is that every now and then I have to sacrifice things to him, and that I had to do him a few favors here and there."
"Favors?" Tsunade asked. What could a human do that a God couldn't?
"Well he can't come down to earth as much as he'd like, so I has to handle things. You know, people disrespecting his alter, saying he doesn't exist, and so on."
"We still haven't gotten to your dance instruction, or why that was more important then us seeing you."
Naruto scratched his head. "Oops. Well I could give you the short version."
"Sure, you've kept me here long enough as it is."
"That dance instructor was the best damn ninja I ever met. He was strong, fast, skilled, everything. Apparently, most of dance is balance and moving the right way, same as fighting. Actually, the Hyuga style of combat is based on some dance or another."
Tsunade was stunned. When you looked at it like that, dance really was a great way to keep the body in shape. With all that running around on stage, picking up and sometimes throwing people, you'd build muscles. With the jumps and landing, you'd get balance.
"You have a point I guess Naruto, but why couldn't you tell us?" Tsunade was annoyed, he seemed to be avoiding the question for some reason. That and still hurt he hadn't told anyone.
"Well if I ever sent a letter, the Akatsuki could probably track it and reach me first. I'm still not sure if I'm good enough without letting the Kyubi get control."
"Smooth kid, make it seem like a bad thing I'm here."
"Also, how would I have explained the Kyubi's little, um, days out? If I went back with Jiraya, he'd wonder where I went, and might not take it very well if he found out about the taking over my mind thing. I mean, back here, I can probably hide it better, big city, no one knows everyone. But if I'd shown myself earlier then I did, I'd either have been killed my the guards or have gone off with Jiraya again."
"Well yes, because he wanted you powerful for the deadline of Sauske being taken over. Which you missed by the way."
"What part of really powerful ninja that owed my other half favors didn't you get?" Said Naruto, going for full sarcasm now. " The first was repaid by him teaching me, and second by beating the shit out of Orochimaru and making sure Sauske wasn't close enough."
"So that was him?" Tsunade scowled, and muttered to herself, "Guess I owe him that money…"
"So am I completely reinstated?" Naruto asked, sitting his chair back down from its leaning position. "Can I go back to doing missions and all that jazz?"
Tsunade smiled, and handed him a form. "Yah, you are once again completely legal. But put off announcing yourself yet, we are going to tell the village in a few days so that they calm down a little. Apparently the shadow clone attack made them, off edge."
"Attack my ass! If anyone took damage from that, it was me! You have nay idea how much charka that took?"
"Do I care?" Tsunade checked her clock and sighed. "I have to finish up some stuff, so can we finish this conversation tomorrow?"
Naruto smiled, "Sure." He re-henged, and walked out the door.
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Endnotes (you might want to actually read these)
LONG!
Either way, that chapter was been bottled up in my mind for a while now. The whole concept of Naruto transforming into a squirrel just makes me laugh my ass off. That and making fun of a whole lot of other fanfics, way to many go along the " fox summoning contract, new eyes, bloodline limit, Yondiamedaddy" thing.
In other news, Agni is indeed the god of fire and sacrifices in general in Vedic religions. I wikipidia'd him for his appearance, and got the two head thing.
Don't remember that being in the Ramayana when I read it.
But back to the point, most of the religious stuff in the chapter was right. The word avatar was form the Hindu religion, with an avatar being the main character of their two biggest holy books.
While some of you are wondering why exactly I put all this fun religious stuff in, you must realize that by all logic, most holiday fics do the same thing. That is right, any fic that involves Christmas, Halloween, valentines day, Easter, etc, is pro Christian. On top of that, people have screwed around with the Japanese folk lore all the time for these fics. Therefore, I feel no shame in changing a few concepts (not in this chapter, this chapter was mostly religious concepts.)
What I did change however is the way you are an avatar. In the actual books, you are actually the god, born into a human body, without any knowledge of your god-ness. As an example, in the Ramayana, Rama was the avatar of Vishnu (seventh I think) and as such, the god was him, and he was the god. In the case of this story, that will instead be that they merely represent the god, kinda like a proxy.
For those of the actual faith that I am using as a basis, don't hurt me. I mean no disrespect. Any flames saying things along the line of "Sux0r! U 1S wr0ng!" Will be ignored.
Besides for that note, R & R.