'I'm too Sexy' by Right Said Fred. "I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts... I'm a model, you know what I mean and I do my little turn on the catwalk..."
"Come on tell me! You can't keep it a secret forever Edward!" Bella pouted at me from where she was sitting opposite in our own special little courtyard. The sun was out and cast glitter sparkling within her skin. She was a mesmerizing sight.
"I can and I will darling," I replied lightly close my eyes with a small smile. There was no way she could get me to willingly tell her about the sheer embarrassment that had been my Bachelor Party. If could have died, I think I would have done on that night either from laughter or from mortification. Suddenly a light but powerful weight was pressing against me threatening to tilt the chair, causing me to open my eyes slowly. Bella had pounced into my lap silently and was pinning me down.
"Please tell me, I want to know." And there she was using her power against me. She knew it, I knew and we both knew the other knew. I smiled warmly at her revelling in the feel that I could but never would have to deny her anything.
"Okay but don't laugh too hard ok – you'll tip the chair over."
"Deal," Bella replied settling into my arms more comfortably then intertwining her fingers with mine. "Now spill."
"Okay soo, after I left your house with Jaz and Em we went hunting like he told you – no wild clubs for us even though Emmett did protest." I began with a sigh. "We got into the woods and Jaz led us straight to where Carlisle and Alice were waiting – she didn't stay long but she wanted to see my face when I saw that she'd set up a sound system and other party-esque trimmings for us to hunt by. Just another one of her little jokes. Then I was giving a pair of really cheesy Stag horns that Jaz threatened to glue into my hair if I didn't wear them willingly."
I looked into Bella's eyes seeing the amusement dancing there while she pressed her lips together to stop the laughter.
"You're amused now but I didn't think you would like me at our wedding with horns."
"Edward, you could have a tail too and I wouldn't have cared – don't distract me. Keep going."
"Well after that we just hunted a bit and then talked, it was nice to be able to just chat for once. Usually one of the girls drag one of us away so it's never all of us. It was a good night – Emmett managed to embarrass himself, which doesn't happen often, so of course me and Jas wouldn't let him forget it. It got very out of hand really... That's about it."
"What did he do?" Bella asked curiously.
"Um, well he was dancing and singing. It was very surreal – you know how Emmett is..."
"You mean a big burly giant?"
"Exactly," I replied quickly and hoped Bella would get bored and move on.
"What did he dance to?" As usual, I was wrong about her.
"The Right Said Fred song – I'm too sexy. You know the one?" I answered grimly and she burst out laughing, shaking with glee threatening not to tip us both over but to fall backwards off herself.
"I'm too sexy for my cat?" Bella said between shrieks of laughter.
"That's the one. You promised you wouldn't laugh – it was hilarious. Emmett was trying to be alluring but instead put me off my mountain lion..." Bella tried to shut her mouth on the laughter but failed miserably, humour rocking her whole frame.
"You didn't by chance film it did you? Take photos? Did you get any criminal evidence? It's not like you can even get drunk..."
"Actually I think we can; Emmett had been hunting the black-panther that had been rumoured to come down from the mountain – and he found it... after a while... I think he got a bit happy... or maybe the feline had been eating cat mint..." Bella giggled again but shushed herself after I gave her a look. Then after a moment I smiled widely too.
"I do believe Jasper has a video somewhere..." I started but never finished. With a squeal Bella took off through the house to ridicule our brother.
"So sexy it hurts..." I muttered to myself but chasing after her – No way was I going to miss out on the fun.