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Mismatched Sun
Chapter 6
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When we last left our heroes, they were about to get whooped on by the water bucket woman for various reasons, mainly because they were in her way and she was just really stressed out. "Time for big kung fu hurting!" She then proceeded to beat the crap out of Felix. He lay on the ground, dazed. "Anyone else??" the woman screamed. Jenna giggled nervously. "Ehehe…nope!" and the trio ran off, leaving Felix where he was. A few hours later, Felix woke up. "Hey, where'd everybody go?" He got up and dragged himself off toward the biggest building he could see. As he entered, he saw a strong, rather intimidating sort of guy sitting at the front desk. He was speaking into a strange device. "No…no…we don't provide those services here…"
"Umm, hello?" Felix ventured. The guy held up his hand and mouthed, "Just a minute." He finished up his conversation and set the device down. "Ahem. Welcome to Master Fe's Kung Fu Training Center. Master Fe is not available right now, can I take a message?" Felix looked bewildered. All of a sudden, a girl burst from the doors behind the desk. "ARG! You're such an idiot!" she shouted.
"Ahhh!!" Felix screamed. "Purple hair alert!" The girl stomped to the front door. "I am leaving!" she yelled toward the doors she just burst from. Felix looked back towards those doors. An old man slowly floated out from behind the doors, raised his hands and yelled…"WHOMP!" Felix jumped. "Holy crap!" The receptionist stood quickly and bowed. "Master Fe! I wasn't expecting to see you so soon. You've had many messages come for you while you were busy." Master Fe turned toward the receptionist and yelled…"WHOMP!!" Felix decided that it would be a good time to get going. He raced out the door, past where he got beat up by a girl and out of the city.
While all this was happening, the others were busy running for their lives. As they entered the Alpine Crossing, they slowed to catch their breath. Piers gasped. "Is she still following us?"
"I think we lost her," Jenna said. The other two sighed in relief. "Thank the holy cow," Sheba said.
"Oh, for the love – hey, what's with all these rocks?"
Sheba shrugged. "Dunno, but I know how to get rid of them!" Jenna snarled. "Oh, no, you don't! We'll go around."
"Do we have to?" Piers whined. "I'm tired, and I'm hungry, and my feet hurt and-"
"SHUT UP!" The girls yelled. Felix skipped up to his so-called friends. "Hey, you guys are jerks!"
"SHUT UP!"
They continued on their journey until they reached the city known as Altin. Felix looked around. "Thirsty, anyone?" Piers rushed toward the apparent lake. "Sun, yes, I'm dying here!" A woman walked up to them. "That's monster spit, you know."
"AHH!!" Piers screamed and ran around trying to scrape his tongue off. "I'm gonna die!" The other three left the expiring Piers, killed the monsters, drained the town, and got the lift gem. By that time, Piers had revived himself and the heroes were able to finally leave the terrible, cursed town behind.
They continued on to Lama Temple, where they met a man named Master Hammet, who had a very strange heavy breathing problem. They were having a nice chat over tea, when suddenly he boomed, "Sheba, I am your father." Sheba screamed a horrible, murderous scream, summoned a herd of holy bovine and had him trampled. "Never!" she yelled. Jenna put her face in her hands. "I give up," she moaned. "Good thing," Felix told her. "You'll be a lot less stressed." Sheba stood up and realized she had learned a new skill that revealed a whole lot of things to her that she had never noticed before. There were lots of goodies in all the barrels and boxes around the Temple, and turning to Felix, she noticed how small-
"Sheba, what are you looking at!"
"Nothing!"
Then, the strange, purple-haired girl entered the temple. "Haloooo!!" she spouted. "Umm…." Felix replied.
"Is that all you can say?" she asked. "Because you are very good looking, and-"
Jenna and Sheba both launched themselves at the girl. "Arggg!" Sheba shouted as Jenna yelled, "You stay away from my brother!" The girl took off as fast as her purple hair would let her. The heroes began to leave the temple, but then they ran into a rotund man. "How dare you hurt my Feizhi-poo!" he griped at them. Sheba snickered. "Feizhi-poo?" They laughed so hard, the could barely stand. The big guy, he's Hsu, he stomped off angrily, back to Xian so he could cry to his mother about the big western bullies that were picking on him and his teddy bear.
Our foursome then traveled to the Lamarkan Desert, where they were surprised by an unusual climate change. "Brrrr…" Jenna shivered. "I thought it was supposed to be unbearably hot."
"Global warming," Felix replied. A gargoyle flew past them. "No, a shipment of snow for Prox just accidentally got dropped here. It'll melt in a few months or so." Felix scratched his head. "Ok…"
"It's not so bad!" Piers exulted. Jenna cast Fume and he was fried to a crisp. They pushed on through the huge piles of snow. They didn't get very far before they were freezing. Felix looked at his feet. "I'd really like to keep all my toes," he said. "I can solve this problem!" Sheba jumped up and down. Felix shivered. "Ok…su-u-ree-"
"I choose you, Super Flying Cow!" Jenna turned to Felix. "Now you see why this bothers me so much."
"Yup."