Bear with me here guys. This one was on a whim. But hey Mac and Stella have been togethur long enough to have had at least one personal health issue right? Please say yes so I don't feel like an idiot. Let me know if this one should have a sequel chapter. Once again thank you so much for your wonderful reviews and moment suggestions. Please R&R and don't hesitate to tell me if this one was terrible. Thank you!
Stella Bonasera shuffled into Mac's office. He looked up immediately with a faint smile on his lips, the soft set of his eyes reserved just for her. But she didn't seem to notice, in fact she seemed so lost in thought she almost lost her footing on the slight incline in the flooring.
"Whoa Stella, are you alright?" He was concerned by her deer in the head lights expression. But before he could question her further, her walls were back up, iron gates closed and she had her mind set on work, and he knew now was not the time to question her.
"Flack went to pick up Greg Santino, ballistic match a gun registered to him. We have a warrant for DNA and if it matches what Hawkes found on the vics pants then we have our guy." She said in a cool all business tone, but Mac did not miss the part of her that was still not entirely there with him in his office.
"That's good. I'll sign those files if you'd like." He said softly, indicating with his pen the files she was holding in the crook of her arm. She looked from him to the files with a confused expression, then it registered.
"Oh. Ok that would be good. If you could just leave them on my desk when you're done that would be great. I'm headed out for the night." She said as she handed over the manila folders.
"Ok." Mac answered, perplexed by her behavior, he placed the folders on his desk and watched as she exited his office without the usual spring in her step. Whatever it was that was bothering her must be very personal. After Frankie, the HIV scare, Ella McBride, and Greece, they were fairly open with most things that went on…well they were getting to be fairly open. He kept telling himself that they had time, that it was a work in progress, but that speech never seemed to stem the feeling of immense guilt he got when he saw the flicker of hope die in her eyes, after he refused to open up to her.
He sighed deeply and removed himself from his chair. He had been lost in his thoughts for over half an hour now, and needed the bathroom. On his walk to the communal locker rooms and bathrooms he resolved to talk to Stella tomorrow, if not tonight. Whatever she was processing, he would help, he wanted to be as involved as possible, after all she was his best friend, and he loved her.
Pushing the locker room door wide he spotted Stella sitting on a bench staring absently at her hands. Concern washing over him, he knocked lightly on the back of the door, he knew she was spacey and didn't want to startle her. She looked up at him, conflict and deep thought etched in her eyes, but she still tried her best fake smile.
"Hey Mac." She greeted him, trying to keep her voice from quivering. He came to sit next to her on the bench, completely forgetting ever needing to use the restroom; Stella had a tendency to make him forget all prior plans and simply focus on her.
"Stella what's going on?" He decided to ask flat out, there was no use beating around the bush; she would just find some way to evade him.
"I'm fine Mac. It's been a long day that's all." It was a feeble attempt and he knew her better than that. She got up and opened her locker, beginning to rearrange things in a nervous fashion. He knew she needed something to do with her hands at the moment, so he didn't try to stop her. They had come to know each other's mannerisms to an extent where it was no longer analyzed, just accepted as a part of their personalities.
"It'll be ok Stel, whatever it is, I'm here." He knew this was all he could offer at the moment. If he pushed too much, she would just push right back, and it would end in an argument, and that was the last thing he wanted. She turned to face him, fiddling with her fingers and not meeting his eyes.
"I'm late Mac." She stated simply, sighing as her shoulders sagged with the weight of what she had just shared with him. He sat, confused for a moment. Her shift was over, so she wasn't tardy. Oh…Oh. Every nerve in his body suddenly lit fire. She was sleeping with someone, and she hadn't even told him she was seeing anyone. He was consumed with anger, but not at Stella, at whomever it was that hadn't been careful enough, whoever it was that had put her in this position. He stood slowly, coming to stand directly in front of her.
"Have…have you taken a pregnancy test?" Suddenly her eyes flashed up at him, her expression unreadable at first, then as if a light bulb went off it cleared into a look of understanding, and then embarrassment. She was going to have to explain.
"No Mac I'm not….I mean I haven't….not since Frankie….I mean I tried….but I just….I couldn't…" She was now staring at the floor, a rosy red color creeping up her neck and across her face. Mac took hold of her hands, trying to comfort her. Now he was really confused.
"Then why...?" He let the question dwindle off, knowing she caught his meaning. She removed his hands from his and turned back to her locker, too embarrassed to continue looking at him.
"Some women…they uh…stop…younger than others….and I don't….I mean I never knew my mother….so I don't know if….God Mac what if I can't have kids?," He knew she was crying slightly at this point, finally admitting to the secret worry that had been tormenting her. "I mean I know I'm not exactly super young anymore but I still thought…I don't know…maybe someday…with the right guy…you know what Mac? This is really stupid, I shouldn't have told you any of this, I'm probably just overreacting." She sniffed and tried to covertly wipe away the tears, but his thumb beat her to it. He silently marveled at how complicated women were.
"Stella please don't be sorry you told me. I'm glad you did, and Stel, if something concerns you it's never stupid. Ok?" She nodded and leaned into him slightly, he gently wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer, tucking her head beneath his chin. They both silently thanked whatever higher forces were responsible for their bond, both knowing full well they would not be able to get through the chaos and trials of life without each other. After a few moments of silence, Mac gently pulled away and looked her in the eye.
"Have you spoken with a doctor?" He asked gently, now that she had told him, he wanted to find out what was causing this. She shook her head gently.
"I always found those kinds of doctor's visits…well…unnerving." She admitted sheepishly, ducking her head. Mac chuckled, remembering Claire's shell shocked expression after coming back from the gynecologist for the first time.
"How about Hawkes, do you think you could talk to him?" At this her head reared up and she pinned him with dagger eyes.
"Ok, guess not. What if…what if I came with you to the doctor? I mean I don't want to embarrass you… but if it would help…I mean I could wait outside the office…maybe just drive you or something…"He didn't want to make her feel like a child who needed her hand to be held, but he knew she was probably very uncomfortable, he at least wanted to offer. She stopped his rambling by pulling him into a tight hug.
"Thank you Mac. That would really help." With that she shut her locker and took him by the hand. Making their way to her office to call the doctor and make an appointment, leaving the slightly shocked Mac wondering what his first visit to the gynecologist would be like.
Was it terrible? Should it have a sequel at the doctor's office? Should I delete it? Can you tell I can't make my own desicions? Press the green button and tell me how you're feeling please!