Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, or any other anime mentioned here. If I did, Gaara, Sesshoumaru, Heiji and Roy Mustang will have their own shows, and Hitsugaya will be 182 cm tall and live next door to me. ALSO, this fanfiction should not be taken too seriously...in other words...this is a humor fic! Don't flame me because you like Kurosaki Ichigo, and find this fanFICTION offensive, because deep down inyour hearts, you know all of this has SOME basis on the truth :P

For some reason unfathomable to me, I never seem to like the main character of a show. Naruto annoys the crap out of me, along with Inuyasha, Kudo Shinichi and Ed Elric.

So it should be no surprise to me I harbor an irrational dislike for Kurosaki Ichigo, the main character of Bleach.

Is it his orange hair? Probably, because I hate orange, thanks to Naruto's orange jumpsuits. According to this book, orange is a color of extroverts and outgoingness, and apparently in the anime world, pure annoyingness.

Or maybe it's his chili-pepper shaped sword. (pre-shikai) I remember trying to make a replica of Inuyasha's Tessaiga, another chili sword, out of cardboard for my art class. And no matter how much I tried, and how much I outlined and cut and trimmed, the damn sword still looked like a chili!

So is it so strange that after about 5 failed attempts, I loathe any sword that is chili-shaped? I guess not.

Then, Ichigo goes shikai (and for some reason, never goes back to his chili sword. I don't blame him.). And now his sword is what we in Asia call a pig-killing sword.

PIG KILLING SWORD.

True, it's an upgrade from a chili-sword, but a pig killing sword is so… I mean, this is a show about killing evil souls, not training to be a butcher!

And then, his legs. Did u notice that everyone in Bleach has impossibly long legs? As a person who is sadly only 5'1'' (155cm) high, I find this fact very insulting. Even Rukia, who according to her profile is 144 cm tall, has legs that make up 2/3 of her body.

And if you Google Image Ichigo, you will find incriminating evidence that Ichigo's legs make up is twice the length of his upper body. And I need not to start on Kenpachi, whose legs I bet you 10 bucks is longer than my whole body.

But back to Ichigo… (I have to put this) HAHA he lost to Hitsugaya on the last two polls.

This proves my point that Ichigo is lame.

Wait…I don't think he's lame…just loathsome. Other people who voted for Hitsugaya think he's lame.

Rukia totally belongs with Renji, not Ichigo. And Orihime will one day realize that she is so meant for Ishida. Or Ulquiorra's reincarnation (why did he die??? : ( he had the cutest green eyes)

…Because Ichigo has like no personality. I mean, we know he's loud, and not exactly the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree, and he prefers brute force rather than thinking…but is that enough to make him a likeable main character? We all like characters we can sympathize with. I mean look at the polls.

We feel sorry for Hitsugaya because he's awfully short, has a lazy (but loyal!) lieutenant, short, his childhood friend betrayed him for fugly Aizen (he stabbed Shiro-chan… die!!!), is short, and has to do all the paperwork.

We feel sorry for Rukia because she has a brother who has a whole tree log up his behind and has hideous hair ornament, her best friend kind of "let her go" (guys, don't do that… us girls would rather hear "I love you, don't go!" in this kind of situation), and she's also short.

So, assuming that the people who voted in this poll DON'T have pedophilic tendencies, it seems safe to say that characters with an actual story behind them get the vote.

As for Ichigo, his family barely appears after the first like 3 books ( I wish Tite Kubo will do more on the Ichigo's mom thing, or show his dad's past).

AND he is the only one in the family with orange hair. This doesn't make sense. Unless he BLEACHed it or something. (haha, not laughing)

So in the end, I conclude that Ichigo with is unnatural orange hair, pig-killing sword, freaky long legs and no personality and it completely rational to think Hitsugaya Toushirou is superior to him in every way! (Or Hisagi…did you know that he plays (or attempts to) play the guitar? it was in the Bleach Bootleg)