Hi! Sorry I haven't been able to update...writers block. I need reviews very badly. Should I keep going with this? I promise it only be two more chapters of continuing chapters before I go back to moment vignettes. Should Dr. Philips be a cocky young guy fresh our of med school? Or a caring woman in her sixties? Which would work better. BTW, I have very limited gynecological experience, so I apologize in advance if I get things wrong. Please review and help me out with where this should go!
The next day brought paper work for both Mac and Stella, seeing as the citizens of New York had decided to take the day off from all evil, and there were no new cases. As a result, they didn't get a chance to see each other until Mac walked into her office, jacket on and keys in hand ready to go. She glanced up at him as he came through the glass framed door.
"Ready Freddy?" He asked in a teasing manner, he was incredibly apprehensive about this appointment. He was questioning his role: was he just driving her? Did he go in and sit in the waiting room? Or was he really, really in this with her, stirrups and trans-vaginal ultrasounds and all? But he was determined to make this as easy on Stella as possible.
Stella glanced from him to the paperwork on her desk. He saw what was coming within an instant and was reaching for her coat on the hook and grabbing her purse off the couch.
"Mac, I've still got a lot of work here maybe we should just…" He gently pulled her up by the hands, folding her coat over her arm, placing her purse strap in her open palm and guided her towards the exit.
"It'll be ok Stella." He spoke gently beside her in the elevator, placing his hand on the small of her back and massaging in small circles.
She stared at the floor for most of this ordeal, she wanted to tell him she felt sick and didn't think she could go, which even though it sounds like an excuse, was the God honest truth. Her insides felt like they were doing the Mexican chaha and her heart kept it's own measure by doing the tango. But she knew this was the nerves. Stella Bonesara prided herself on not being afraid of anything, then after Frankie she prided herself on not being afraid of most things, today she nearly fell out of her chair with fright when Hawkes had entered the office unannounced and the door squeaked.
She leaned into the warmth of the man standing next to her, drawing comfort and strength from the calming mix of his laundry detergent and Old Spice aftershave. She knew sooner or later she would have to ask him the question that has been on the front of her mind all day. Rearing the courage, she decided it was best to ask now, without an audience.
"Mac…I was…could you…would it….I just…" Mac chuckled slightly, and Stella relaxed as she felt the vibrations go through her. She had stuttered more in the past day and half than she had in the whole time they had known each other.
"Whatever it is Stella, just ask." He had stopped chuckling now. He knew what she was going to ask. They did that. Knew what the other was thinking or going to say or was about to do. But he needed to hear her ask anyway, he needed to know that it was really what she wanted, that she would go to enough trouble to worry her pretty little head about it.
"If it doesn't make you too uncomfortable…would you mind coming in with me? I mean if you have plans or if…." Her words dwindled off as he leaned in and placed a feathery kiss on her temple.
"I'm with you the whole way." He said simply. She stared at him for a moment, then offered a shy smile, grateful for his answer, though she had known he would never have refused her. They broke their gaze and waited in silence for the elevator to reach the garage, both their minds whirring over the kiss, and all the lines that were becoming blurred in their relationship.
The ride to the clinic was spent in companionable silence. Stella had let Mac drive since she had taken the subway into work this morning. To people who didn't know Stella, they would have said she simply looked tired, but Mac saw the clenched hands and white knuckles, he had seen the slight trembling when she buckled her seat belt.
His research the previous night had been informative, but didn't clearly pinpoint an answer or condition. Though there had been no one in his apartment with him, he had still blushed deeply as he read the articles. He had been married once sure, but he and Claire had never talked about the intimate part of their relationship, or any other bodily functions for that matter. Mac had never realized until Stella, his strong, rough and tough Stella, who had been through so much, broke at the thought that she might not be able to have children.
He was pulled from his speculative thoughts by his navigation system beeping, signaling that they had come upon their desired location. The clinic was a large brick building with an adjacent parking lot.
They walked in and gave their name to the nurse at the front desk. She handed Stella forms to fill out and Stella handed over cash for her insurance co-pay.
Mac's CSI observation skills immediately kicked in. He surveyed the waiting room; it was about two thirds pregnant women. Some husbands or boyfriends here and there, and a group of just barely teenage girls sitting in a corner, talking nervously amongst themselves. Mac leaned over to Stella from where they were seated, somewhat distanced from everyone else.
"Stella, what would they be doing here?" He whispered. To him they looked entirely all too young.
"Sometimes girls feel more comfortable with their first exam if a friend comes. Or maybe their parents sent them, sometimes adults have problems talking to their kids about…well you know…all the bodily functions, so they make appointments for them just to talk with a physician. My foster parents did it. That or one of the girls might be pregnant." Stella whispered back into his ear, all the while clicking the pen she had received with the now finished forms. Her leg bobbed up and down, and Mac placed his hand on her knee to steady it, giving a light squeeze. He couldn't believe his internal reaction to the answer she had given, he hated that she had to learn the facts of life from a cold medical professional, instead of her own mother. Puberty was hard enough as it was, but add the feeling of loneliness and not being able to talk to someone about it, that made it infinitely worse. Granted his own growing up experience hadn't been peachy perfect, his father had been a marine, and therefore did not do touchy feely, but Mac still always knew that there was someone there for him. He sat through the familiar pang of wanting to hold Stella closely and tell her she was safe and loved. He always wanted to do this, but even more so when she referred to the traumas in her life, even the ones she never spoke of, he could still feel the scraping within in his chest when the haunted look of sorrow crossed over her beautiful features. He was pulled from his thoughts for the umpteenth time that day as a nurse called Stella's name.
They stood and followed her down the hall past many doors and into a small exam with an adjoining bathroom. The squat black haired nurse handed Stella a hospital gown and nodded towards the bathroom.
"Take off everything except your bra, you can just leave it all in the bathroom for now. The doctor will be in shortly." With that she left abruptly and closed the door behind her. Stella fought hard to keep her composure as the claustrophobia she felt was heightened by her nervousness. Mac stepped forward, trying his best to keep his diverted from the posters that graced the walls. Needless to say they left very little to the imagination. He opened the bathroom door and took her coat and purse from her hands. He placed them on the plastic chair next to the exam table. The looked back to her and put on his best teasing smile.
"Get a move on Bonasera. I'm not going to have to help you undress am I?" With that she was out of her stupor and blushing slightly, shuffling towards the bathroom. Before shutting the door, she looked back at him with a flirtatious sparkle in her eyes.
"Not a chance Taylor." With that she closed the door.
Sorry...I've never been able to write a cliff hanger before and couldn't resist the temptation. I also need help with where I should take this story. Review and suggest what you want to read please! I would sooo appreciate it!