Here we go folks the final addition of this little story...but not the end of the Mac/Stella moments. So if you have more moment ideas, I'm all ears(Terrible mental image isn't it?). I apologoze in advance if any of the medical stuff is wrong. I also do now own CSI NY or it's characters....no matter how much I want to. Read and tell me what you think please!
Stella emerged from the bathroom wearing the skimpy hospital gown just as the doctor walked in. She was a very attractive woman, looking to be in her early sixties. She smiled kindly at Stella and nodded to Mac.
"Hello Stella, I'm Dr. Phillips. Would you like to take a seat on the table and we'll get started. I just want to ask some routine questions first." She shook Stella's hand and nodded towards the exam table covered in paper. Mac stood back awkwardly, still slightly reeling from seeing Stella in so little clothing. But Dr. Phillips saved him by stepping forward and shaking his hand as well.
"Hello, are you her boyfriend?" Dr. Phillips was always intrigued by the varied relationships she saw as a woman's doctor. She could already tell these two shared some form of close bond, but there was no record of Stella Bonesara being married.
"He's my…best friend." Stella said from where she was now seated atop the exam table, covering her knees in the sheet that had been left there. Dr. Phillips smiled understandingly, even though she thought they looked like more.
"Ah, well why don't you have a seat?" She gestured towards the two chairs positioned next to the exam table. Mac sat and glanced at Stella before drilling his eyes into the laminate floor, still not sure where to look. The doctor positioned herself on the metal stool next to the desk.
"Alright Stella, I see from your chart it's been a while since your last appointment. But I'll try not to give you a lecture about making routine appointments." The doctor smiled wryly. Stella looked down at her hands, now placed in her lap.
"I've been busy." She stated simply. Mac felt the same pang in his chest as years of working with domestic violence victims told him that Stella had evaded this type of doctors' visit after Frankie. He knew she hadn't been raped, but the psychological impact of having an intimate relationship with someone who then turned on you was scarring.
"Well you're here now and that's what counts. Ok, when was your last menstrual cycle?" She now had her pen poised over Stella's chart. Mac felt a surge of pride at being able to keep the pink flush from creeping up his neck at this question.
"Seven week ago." Stella continued to stare at her hands, dreadfully embarrassed that she had to endure the questions with Mac there, but also immensely comforted by his presence, she knew if it got to be too much for her, he was there. He would make it all ok. Dr. Phillips looked up.
"Are you sexually active?" Stella had known this would be asked. She realized that when she originally told Mac in the locker rooms about her worry, she had also admitted that it had been a long time since she'd been with anyone. But admitting it again made her turn a deep crimson.
"No."
"Hmm, how old were you when you first started your cycles?"
Mac watched as Stella shuddered at what he knew was most likely a terrible memory.
"Thirteen." She answered. Mac tried to picture the scenario involving a thirteen year old Stella. He too shuddered at the thought of her in a foster home, having the landmarks in her life be traumatic instead of a celebration of her growing up.
"Have you always been somewhat irregular?" Dr. Phillips's voice drew Mac out of his imaginative replay of her childhood.
"Yes." Dr. Phillips scanned the chart and found the report three years ago from when Stella was given a rape kit. She knew it was not uncommon for someone's body to react to traumatic events by being thrown off schedule. Dr. Ryder had also included a few vague notes stating that Stella had not known her parents, and therefore was unaware of any hereditary conditions. It was also very typical in someone with such an unstable upbringing to have a temperamental body.
"Alright Stella, we'll do the exam now. From what you've told me so far it could be a number of things causing the absence of a cycle. But none of them are very serious or particularly alarming, so try not to worry too much ok?" Mac felt lighter than he had in the past two days, she hadn't done the exam yet, but she didn't think it was serious. He watched as Stella shoulders dropped an inch, she had been so tense. She knew she wasn't out of the woods yet, but hearing that it didn't sounds serious she almost leapt off the table to do a victory dance. But she refrained.
Dr. Phillips looked in Mac's direction.
"Are you going to be staying for the exam?" Mac met Stella's eyes.
"Yes." He stated. Stella let out a sigh of relief.
"Ok Stella, could you lie back for me?" Dr. Phillips saw Stella visibly go rigid. She turned to Mac and kept her voice a whisper.
"Could you stand behind the table and talk to her? Try and keep her as relaxed as possible, it will make the exam much easier." Mac nodded and stood. He positioned himself just behind the table, leaning his hips into it to be as close to her as possible. Dr. Phillips pulled the platforms out for Stella to rest her feet on, and gently pulled the sheet off. Stella grabbed Mac's hand as the sheet exposed her long, tanned legs. Mac felt her fingers trembling gently in his palm and squeezed back gently. Jesus Marine, what the hell do you talk about while at a gynecologist appointment with your best friend that you secretly have romantic feelings for? Shit, ok, take it easy, you have to keep her calm.
"Hey Stel, you wanna rent a movie later tonight? Just promise me no musicals." In all honesty Mac would watch anything with her, but he had to keep up his dignity.
"Come on Mac, I know just how much you love My Fair Lady."
"Alright fine, just don't tell Flack and Danny. I will lose all standing as a boss and a man." Stella laughed shakily.
"Lindsay told me Danny loves Phantom of the Opera, so even though he plays tough you'll be fine in his books. Flack's the one you should worry about." At this Mac was the one laughing. The sound that rumbled through his chest relaxed Stella. Dr Phillips smiled warmly at their teasing conversation. They continued like this for a few more minutes, Stella tensing and relaxing throughout.
"Ok Stella, I'm done here. I'll go send these cultures off to the lab. You can get dressed and I'll be right back." Stella nodded and sat up, once again retrieving the sheet she wrapped it around herself and walked towards the bathroom.
Mac raked a hand through his short brown hair and sighed. Stella re-emerged from the bathroom fully clothed, but wouldn't meet his eye as she went to sit in one of the plastic chairs flanking the exam table where Mac still stood.
His heart broke because he knew what she was doing. She was preparing herself for bad news; she was getting ready to push him away because she was too scared to have him see her grieve for something he didn't understand. He mentally berated himself and wondered if he should have told Lindsay and had her talk to Stella, woman to woman. But he knew that would have only hurt more. Lindsay and Danny were dealing with every emotion on the face of the planet with her pregnancy, but he knew that they were both incredibly happy, and Stella wouldn't want anything to mar their happiness, even if it meant her own suffering. So as Mac sat beside her again, he decided no matter how sticky it got, he was going to be there, right beside her from now on. Even if the outcome bore no ill fate, he wanted the walls she had knocked down for him to stay in rubble and not be re-built. He wanted her to share everything with him, all the traumas and secrets and pain and the little joys. He wanted it all.
Dr. Phillips knocked twice rapidly and entered before either Stella or Mac could tell her to. Mac had always wondered why doctors did that.
"Ok Stella. I didn't find anything suspicious on your exam except for some old scar tissue." At this Stella eyes grew steely and Mac felt fury at whoever had been less than kind and gentle with her in the past.
"The blood test and culture results should be back in about four days and my office will give you a call if there's anything abnormal. In the meantime I'm going to give you some oral medication right now, and also write you a prescription. That scar tissue isn't an issue now but in a few years it might be, this medication might make you a bit nauseas and dizzy, so refrain from driving or operating any heavy machinery. You might also have some light spotting, but don't expect your cycle to start for another twenty one days or so. Alright? Do you have any questions?" Stella and Mac both shook their heads and said their thank-you's. Stella swallowed small yellow pill with a paper cup of water and stood up. They left in silence, Stella saying she would call in to make another appointment instead of making one at the desk. Mac knew she just wanted to get out of there as fast as humanly possible. He held the door of the Avalanche open for her and she stepped in. The drive to her apartment was spent in contemplating silence, Mac knowing he wouldn't be able snap her out of her head space, and wanting some time to think on his own. Noticing she was growing increasingly more pale and clutching the armrest mercilessly, he decided he would take her straight home and fill her prescription later. She let the steel bar that ran around the perimeter of the elevator help support her on their way up to her floor. Reaching her apartment Mac pulled out his key after noticing just how badly her hands were shaking and unlocked the door. The quick pressure on the back of his shoulder surprised him and he turned just quickly enough to see her rush past him in a dash for the bathroom.
He closed and locked the door, shed his coat and followed her. He nudged open the bathroom door. She hadn't shut it fully in her rush. Her forehead was resting on the cool ceramic toilet bowl after having thrown up. Mac grabbed a wash cloth and soaked it with cold water in the sink before ringing it out to make it damp. He knelt behind her and gently wrapped his arms around her waist, bringing her back enough to lean on his chest, her body settled between his legs. He held the cold compress to her forehead, knowing it would help the vertigo she was most likely feeling right about now.
"Wow," She mumbled.
"My boss just watched me puke my guts out."
"Don't worry I don't think he'll put it in your evaluation. Besides it's kind of par for the day right? Plus today, as like most days, I'm your best friend…not your boss. Come on, let's get you to the couch, I don't think you're going to be sick again." He stood the both of them up. Realizing that she was far too dizzy to walk, he gently picked her up, trying to stop his mind from marveling at how right she felt in his arms. He carried her gingerly to the couch and placed her on it, propping her up with a few cushions and covering her with a nearby afghan.
"Hey Mac?" She asked quietly
"Yeah Stella?"
"I know we just got back from the bathroom, but would you mind walking me over there again?" She asked sheepishly. He jumped up from where he was sitting in a lounge chair a few feet away. In actuality it had been about twenty minutes, but Stella had fallen asleep and with the effects of the medicine, probably didn't have very good time orientation right now.
"Do you feel sick again?" He asked quickly, knowing she probably didn't want to vomit on her rug and wanting to get her to the bathroom as quickly as possible if she was feeling ill.
"No just a little light headed. I just need to use the restroom." She stood and swayed slightly, Mac reaching out to steady her.
"Of course." She slid her arms around his waist and leaned into him as they made their way across her living room and into the hallway. They stopped outside the door of the bathroom and she smiled up at him.
"Thanks."
"No Problem." He smiled back.
He waited right outside the door for her, wanting to be able to help her if she was too dizzy. He heard a small curse come through the door and immediately his heart quickened.
"Stella?" He rapped lightly on the door with his knuckle.
"Are you alright?"
"I'm fine Mac." She stated quietly
"Stella, please…" He wanted to help so badly it almost hurt. But he was startled when he heard the toilet flush, the sink turn on and off and Stella opened the door. He smiled but it faded when he noticed how flushed her cheeks were. He brought his hand up to caress one but stopped midair, thinking better of it.
'Stell what's wrong?" He asked huskily
"Mac…would you mind doing me a favor?" She was now staring at the ground, she couldn't believe that with all they had been through together today, and all he had probably seen she was embarrassed to be asking him this. But she was new to trusting someone this much, and having them be this much a part of her life. She had had boyfriends sure, but they just dropped by shortly with soup when she was sick. Mac acted as if he would cater to her every whim gladly. But she had realized today that it would always be him, and only him that got let in this far, that got trusted this much.
"Anything." He answered honestly.
"Well umm…would you mind running to the drug store for me?" She asked sheepishly, the blush now taking over her neck and face.
"Do you want me to fill your prescription?"
"No, well yeah actually, you can do that while you're there I guess… if you don't mind. But I uh need something else."
"I don't mind at all. What do you need?" He had a sneaking suspicion of course, he was a CSI after all, and not completely oblivious. She wouldn't be this embarrassed if she was asking him to buy her some pepto-bismol and a candy bar.
"Umm…well…" She was being a wimp and she knew it. Mac let her off easy.
"What brand Stell?" Her head reared up at this and she couldn't help the smile that took over her face. Of course he knew. He beamed back at her and felt his heart warm when she reached out to wrap her arms around him. He enveloped her and held her against his chest, both reveling in the familiar feel of holding one another, but how it already felt different, more exciting, more promising. After a while Mac knew the longer they did this the less able he would be to control how much he wanted her.
"Stella?"
"Mhhm." She mumbled against the crook of his neck, sending shivers down his spine.
"You should probably let go of me now." She looked up at him, statrtled and confused.
"Why?"
"I have to go buy tampons."
They both burst out laughing and continued holding one another.
It's cheesey, it's corny(have you noticed they're both foods?). But please tell me what you think and what my next endevour should be! Love you guys!