disclaimer: I own nothing.

Their journey to the church was quick and uneventful. They made it there in less than ten minutes. The last time he had visited a Church, properly visited a Church, was with his

family- his mum dad and Sammy. It wasn't fair. Nothing about this was fair. They had given so much and fought but what was it all for? For it to end like this? Dean

wondered what his dad was thinking. The past two weeks had raught an alarming change on the man his father was. Gone was the warrior, the fighter and the champion. All the

fight had gone out of John. He was broken. Dean had seen him watch him, when he thought that he wasn't looking. He wondered if his dad wished it were different? If his dad

wanted Sammy alive instead of him. Dean did. He would have freely admitted it to anyone who would have thought to ask. It was a selfish wish- for the pain to end and to give

in, but he didn't care.He felt so lost, so helpless without Sam.

Sam was waiting for them at the Church. Deans eyes found the simple coffin as he got out of the car. They were the first to arrive. John got out and stood next to Dean. He could

feel unwilling tears spring to his eyes again. "Hey Sammy," he muttered, "Don't be scared. We'll be with you all the way. You'll never be alone."

John had joined him. "I love you."

They lapsed into silence. A million phrases were at Deans tongue. All the things he should say to Sam. He could not choose the right one. He remained quiet. Bobby and Caleb

joined them after a minute. Dean looked around and was slightly thrown. Mourners were streaming into the Church. He had not heard any of them approach. Bobby clapped a

hand on Deans shoulder and said,

"Sorry Dean. I know how close you and Sam were."

Were. Past tense. He felt it like a punch to the stomach.

Missouri appeared by his fathers side. She was watching John carefully. Dean knew the woman could read thoughts. He wondered what she was hearing.

"You'll be okay John. You'll be able to do it."

Dean knew what she was talking about. That is why they were standing there. Preparing to carry Sam into the Church. It was hard enough to think about. Dean had carried Sam

to safety, aware from the fire that had killed their mother. It felt like a betrayal, to carry him to his grave. Where he would be alone. Forever. Missouri glanced sharply at him.

Dean looked away.

ARGH!

Missouri was on the ground grimacing in pain. JOhn Bobby and Caleb had all bent to help her. Dean did as well. With their help, she stood up again. She glanced shakily at the

coffin, then to JOhn, then to Dean.

"John...Dean..." she intoned.

"What Missouri? Whatis it Are you okay?" John asked, concerned.

"I saw..I saw..."

"What Missouri?"

Missouri took a breath to stead herself. "That is not. That's not-"

"What Missouri?" It was Deans turn to ask.

"I do not know who that is. That is not Sam." She pointed a quavering finger at the coffin.