Cattails: I'm ba-ack!
Vegeta: yes, like a recurring butt rash, you're back.
Cattails: *glare* anyway, I have another plan.
Shippou: ok, you know this is gonna get weird.
Cattails? may I do the disclaimer? (if so, then here it is.)
Cattails: The Saiyan does not own Inuyasha. That privilege belongs to the great and omnipotent Rumiko Takahashi, before whom we should all bow in reverence.
Cattails: Shall we torture our dearly derranged idiots today?
Kagome: oh, yes, lets.
Cattails: Right then, since I'm too lazy to track all of them down, I have a simple way to bring them to us.
Shippou: Who is it gonna be this time?
Inuyasha: Kouga the Delusional? Hojo the Oblivious? Jakken the Increddibly Ugly?
Kagome: Kikyou the "why can't you just stay dead" clay pot?
Cattails: all of them. What's the most idiotic thing you can think of on tv?
Kagome: Teletubbies? Barney? Bob the Builder?
Inuyasha: pokemon? Digimon? Yu-gi-oh?
Shippou:...Ricki (sp) Lake?
Cattails: BINGO! get the kid a prize! day time talk shows have the intellegence factor of approximately -573. about the same IQ as the four idiots. So, we have them come to our talk show and torture them!
Sango: and we do this how?
Cattails: *swings staff* easy. *all necessary items for a talk show materialize.*
Miroku: *envious of staff*
Hojo: talkshow...senses..tingling! must be a new one on... *gravitates to spot where heros of story are* oh! I might get on the show!
Kouga: *running to the North* I bet Kagome went this way... *sniff sniff* hey! I smell a new talk show! *turns around and runs to the South*
Kikyo: Inuyasha WILL die with me! ... after i watch this new talk show i just detected... hey a use for my miko powers at last!
Jakken: Lord Sesshoumaru! i am always ready to serve you, beckon to your every command, grant your sillyest- *is lifted off the ground by Sesshoumaru* whim?
Fluffy-sama:stupid useless toad. *throws Jakken far away*
Jakken: *lands near set* oh! a TALK SHOW!
*the four stooges sit in the stands*
TS: Salutations, welcome to the talk shoew that bloodlust built... I'm The Saiyan, TS, for the convenience of typing, and this is my co-host, Cattails!
Cattails: hello, ladies and gentlemen... wait, we don't seem to have any of those in the audience. anyway! greetings! I need four victims! I mean, volunteers! on the stage! *predictably, Kikyo, Hojo, Kouga, and Jakken rush to the stage*
TS: great! You! *points to hojo* whats your name?
Hojo: hojo!
TS: right then, Hoho... step up to the platform.
Hojo: *steps up* and it's hojo.
TS: Hobo! sorry about that!
Hojo: um, my name's Hojo, and do i get to talk about my problems like on other talk shows?
Cattails: no.
Hojo: well, i like this girl, and i'm always gving her stuff cuz she's always sick, but she blows off my dates... it's almost as if she has no interest in me! So anyway-
Cattails: *covers his mouth* *sarcasm* Einstein's got a theory... Hojo, get ready to meet some special guests...
Hojo: Wonderful! i LOVE meeting new people! I wonder if they'll be my friends...
Cattails: right...
TS: *in heavy gloves* *brings out large metal padlocked box**opens box & runs like hell*
*tiny eyes glow in the darkness*
Hojo: oh! animals I love animals...
Cattails: I'm sure you do. why don't you go...PET them...?
Hojo: oh! yay! *walks up to box and is attacked by the carnivorous squirrels* (hey, they haven't eaten human flesh in a few chapters...so...)
Kikyou: i recognize those squirrels! hey, don't I know you hosts from somewhere?
Cattails: of course not!
Kikyou: oh. okay!
Hojo: X__X
TS: one down, three to go!
Kagome: can I kill off Kikyou?
Cattails: knock yourself out. And now, another very special guest... Kagome Higurashi!
Kagome: Kikyou, come on down! we're gonna play a game. If you lose, you get a small penalty...loserssaywhat!
Kikyou: what?
Kagome: you lose! your penalty is... being turned inside out and tied to a dead gorilla for 18 years before being sliced into itty bitty pieces and shoved into a tupperware box! mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Kikyou: *is turned inside out and then tied to a dead gorilla for 18 years before being sliced into itty bitty pieces and shoved into a tupperware box*
Inuyasha: my turn to bump someone off... the putrid toad or the mangy wolf...?
Jakken: am I to be featured?
Inuyasha: the toad.
Cattails: You! Toad...thing. come on down!
Inuyasha: we're going to play a bit of roulette... Jakken, you're the ball.
*giant roulette wheel is brought out*
Inuyasha: place your bets!
Cattails: oh, i love this game... always win, that i do...my bet is on... the little symbol that has Jakken burned at the stake.
Kagome: my moneys on the one with Jakken in the gallows.
TS: I'll bet... stabbed to death.
Shippou: twenty bucks on shark tank.
Sango: hmm... I'd like to see him trampled on by asian elephants.
Miroku: it's against the teachings of Buddha to gamble, so i'm making an EDUCATED GUESS on...thrown in an iron maiden.
Vegeta: oh, struck by lightning repeatedly... that one's interesting...
Inuyasha: and i'll go with sliced into smithereens
with a legendary sword.
*jakken is thrown onto wheel and spun*
Jakken: *lands on a black triangle with a skull & crossbones on it.* ha! you all lose!
Inuyasha: on the contrary. we all win.
*jakken is burned at the stake, hung, stabbed, thrown in a shark tank, trampled, thrown in an iron maiden, struck by lightning, and sliced by a well known phantom sword...*
Kouga: yo, flea-bitten feline! am i gonna be in this or what?
Cattails: why you... can i rip him apart with my bare hands?
TS: but I haven't gotten to kill anyone yet.
Cattails: ok, YOU rip him apart with YOUR bare hands!
TS: better idea. Kagome, gonna need your help with this one...
*later*
Kagome: *all seductively* Kouga... i have finally decided to become your woman.
Kouga: really?
Kagome:... NO!*pins kouga to tree with sacred arrow*
TS: *uncaps lipstick* this is where the fun begins.*
Cattails: oh! we're gonna make him PRETTY!
Everyone but Vegeta: *adlibs i wanna help, this'll be fun, type things.*
*later again*
Kouga: *in pink ballerina tutu, mak-up to rival Mimi from the Drew Carey Show, and other horribly girly affectations*
Cattails: she's an embarassment to the gender. *evil grin* *uncaps super glue* *glues everything on* kagome, remove the arrow...
Kagome: *evil grin as well* *breaks spell*
Kouga: *wakes up* *looks down...*
*miles away, in the USA, an echo is heard, rolling across the continents*
american joe: dude, what was that
american bob: sounded like a sonic boom.
american jan: or like, a really really, like, loud... thing...y'know?
american tarcsichari: omg! like, yea!
*back in japan, all people within the immediate vicinity have gone temporarily deaf*
japanese tamaki: that was really loud!
japanese takanori:what?
Inuyasha: ow, my ears...you stupid wolf, what the fuck was the big idea, screaming like that?!
Kouga: *dies of embarassment*
Cattails: well, that takes care of that.
Vegeta: good, then you can leave now?
Cattails: not just yet. *whacks Vegeta upside the head then disappears*
TS: (Laughing at Vegeta)
Vegeta: Shut up baka.
TS: Anyways, I was told that this story was beginning to lose its touch. So I'll see what I can do to bring the insanity back. Ja ne!
Vegeta: yes, like a recurring butt rash, you're back.
Cattails: *glare* anyway, I have another plan.
Shippou: ok, you know this is gonna get weird.
Cattails? may I do the disclaimer? (if so, then here it is.)
Cattails: The Saiyan does not own Inuyasha. That privilege belongs to the great and omnipotent Rumiko Takahashi, before whom we should all bow in reverence.
Cattails: Shall we torture our dearly derranged idiots today?
Kagome: oh, yes, lets.
Cattails: Right then, since I'm too lazy to track all of them down, I have a simple way to bring them to us.
Shippou: Who is it gonna be this time?
Inuyasha: Kouga the Delusional? Hojo the Oblivious? Jakken the Increddibly Ugly?
Kagome: Kikyou the "why can't you just stay dead" clay pot?
Cattails: all of them. What's the most idiotic thing you can think of on tv?
Kagome: Teletubbies? Barney? Bob the Builder?
Inuyasha: pokemon? Digimon? Yu-gi-oh?
Shippou:...Ricki (sp) Lake?
Cattails: BINGO! get the kid a prize! day time talk shows have the intellegence factor of approximately -573. about the same IQ as the four idiots. So, we have them come to our talk show and torture them!
Sango: and we do this how?
Cattails: *swings staff* easy. *all necessary items for a talk show materialize.*
Miroku: *envious of staff*
Hojo: talkshow...senses..tingling! must be a new one on... *gravitates to spot where heros of story are* oh! I might get on the show!
Kouga: *running to the North* I bet Kagome went this way... *sniff sniff* hey! I smell a new talk show! *turns around and runs to the South*
Kikyo: Inuyasha WILL die with me! ... after i watch this new talk show i just detected... hey a use for my miko powers at last!
Jakken: Lord Sesshoumaru! i am always ready to serve you, beckon to your every command, grant your sillyest- *is lifted off the ground by Sesshoumaru* whim?
Fluffy-sama:stupid useless toad. *throws Jakken far away*
Jakken: *lands near set* oh! a TALK SHOW!
*the four stooges sit in the stands*
TS: Salutations, welcome to the talk shoew that bloodlust built... I'm The Saiyan, TS, for the convenience of typing, and this is my co-host, Cattails!
Cattails: hello, ladies and gentlemen... wait, we don't seem to have any of those in the audience. anyway! greetings! I need four victims! I mean, volunteers! on the stage! *predictably, Kikyo, Hojo, Kouga, and Jakken rush to the stage*
TS: great! You! *points to hojo* whats your name?
Hojo: hojo!
TS: right then, Hoho... step up to the platform.
Hojo: *steps up* and it's hojo.
TS: Hobo! sorry about that!
Hojo: um, my name's Hojo, and do i get to talk about my problems like on other talk shows?
Cattails: no.
Hojo: well, i like this girl, and i'm always gving her stuff cuz she's always sick, but she blows off my dates... it's almost as if she has no interest in me! So anyway-
Cattails: *covers his mouth* *sarcasm* Einstein's got a theory... Hojo, get ready to meet some special guests...
Hojo: Wonderful! i LOVE meeting new people! I wonder if they'll be my friends...
Cattails: right...
TS: *in heavy gloves* *brings out large metal padlocked box**opens box & runs like hell*
*tiny eyes glow in the darkness*
Hojo: oh! animals I love animals...
Cattails: I'm sure you do. why don't you go...PET them...?
Hojo: oh! yay! *walks up to box and is attacked by the carnivorous squirrels* (hey, they haven't eaten human flesh in a few chapters...so...)
Kikyou: i recognize those squirrels! hey, don't I know you hosts from somewhere?
Cattails: of course not!
Kikyou: oh. okay!
Hojo: X__X
TS: one down, three to go!
Kagome: can I kill off Kikyou?
Cattails: knock yourself out. And now, another very special guest... Kagome Higurashi!
Kagome: Kikyou, come on down! we're gonna play a game. If you lose, you get a small penalty...loserssaywhat!
Kikyou: what?
Kagome: you lose! your penalty is... being turned inside out and tied to a dead gorilla for 18 years before being sliced into itty bitty pieces and shoved into a tupperware box! mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Kikyou: *is turned inside out and then tied to a dead gorilla for 18 years before being sliced into itty bitty pieces and shoved into a tupperware box*
Inuyasha: my turn to bump someone off... the putrid toad or the mangy wolf...?
Jakken: am I to be featured?
Inuyasha: the toad.
Cattails: You! Toad...thing. come on down!
Inuyasha: we're going to play a bit of roulette... Jakken, you're the ball.
*giant roulette wheel is brought out*
Inuyasha: place your bets!
Cattails: oh, i love this game... always win, that i do...my bet is on... the little symbol that has Jakken burned at the stake.
Kagome: my moneys on the one with Jakken in the gallows.
TS: I'll bet... stabbed to death.
Shippou: twenty bucks on shark tank.
Sango: hmm... I'd like to see him trampled on by asian elephants.
Miroku: it's against the teachings of Buddha to gamble, so i'm making an EDUCATED GUESS on...thrown in an iron maiden.
Vegeta: oh, struck by lightning repeatedly... that one's interesting...
Inuyasha: and i'll go with sliced into smithereens
with a legendary sword.
*jakken is thrown onto wheel and spun*
Jakken: *lands on a black triangle with a skull & crossbones on it.* ha! you all lose!
Inuyasha: on the contrary. we all win.
*jakken is burned at the stake, hung, stabbed, thrown in a shark tank, trampled, thrown in an iron maiden, struck by lightning, and sliced by a well known phantom sword...*
Kouga: yo, flea-bitten feline! am i gonna be in this or what?
Cattails: why you... can i rip him apart with my bare hands?
TS: but I haven't gotten to kill anyone yet.
Cattails: ok, YOU rip him apart with YOUR bare hands!
TS: better idea. Kagome, gonna need your help with this one...
*later*
Kagome: *all seductively* Kouga... i have finally decided to become your woman.
Kouga: really?
Kagome:... NO!*pins kouga to tree with sacred arrow*
TS: *uncaps lipstick* this is where the fun begins.*
Cattails: oh! we're gonna make him PRETTY!
Everyone but Vegeta: *adlibs i wanna help, this'll be fun, type things.*
*later again*
Kouga: *in pink ballerina tutu, mak-up to rival Mimi from the Drew Carey Show, and other horribly girly affectations*
Cattails: she's an embarassment to the gender. *evil grin* *uncaps super glue* *glues everything on* kagome, remove the arrow...
Kagome: *evil grin as well* *breaks spell*
Kouga: *wakes up* *looks down...*
*miles away, in the USA, an echo is heard, rolling across the continents*
american joe: dude, what was that
american bob: sounded like a sonic boom.
american jan: or like, a really really, like, loud... thing...y'know?
american tarcsichari: omg! like, yea!
*back in japan, all people within the immediate vicinity have gone temporarily deaf*
japanese tamaki: that was really loud!
japanese takanori:what?
Inuyasha: ow, my ears...you stupid wolf, what the fuck was the big idea, screaming like that?!
Kouga: *dies of embarassment*
Cattails: well, that takes care of that.
Vegeta: good, then you can leave now?
Cattails: not just yet. *whacks Vegeta upside the head then disappears*
TS: (Laughing at Vegeta)
Vegeta: Shut up baka.
TS: Anyways, I was told that this story was beginning to lose its touch. So I'll see what I can do to bring the insanity back. Ja ne!