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女らしいプログラム!
The Feminine Program!
ChapterEleven
End of the Lesson!
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Netto hadn't slept well the night before…
All night, he had tossed and turned, the words Laika had spouted off filling what should have been a nice, lucid dream. Each snide, angered syllable touched the brunet's conflicting mind, stirring up the contents more in order to cause more chaos. As he drowsily sat up in bed when the alarm went off, he felt his chest constrict at the thought that the night prior had been nothing short of reality and not some evil nightmare to make him drench his bed in sweat.
He didn't even have the energy to awaken Rock, he was so exhausted. All he found he could do was trek down the hall to take a shower and dress before grabbing his book bag and PET and heading out the door. The sky was covered with dark gray clouds, adding more melancholy to the start of the day.
"If she's happy with him… then… I guess… I'm happy for her…"
He had been so obvious… just the slight stutter was enough to open up the situation to Laika, who was ever observant and keen. Netto would have kicked himself if he could manage to lift his leg that high, but it been a couple of years since he had played soccer. His muscles were tight and inflexible now…
Things had been so easy back then.
"So truly pathetic! You don't even realize how in love you are with your NetNavi!"
It had hurt so much… like some thread that had been wound so tensely finally snapped under the stress. What was so shocking and baffling about the whole thing was that the teen hadn't even been completely aware of it in the first place and, of course, it was too late to take it all back.
'I have to agree with Rock-chan now… My dad did screw this all up…' he thought quietly. He hadn't even registered it immediately, but he trudged on to school, growling under his breath when the first few drops of rain hit his head and shoulder.
"I hate the rain…"
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"Oh, Rock-chan, you're so lucky! I wish I could go on a date! Did he kiss you? Tell me he kissed you!"
"It was on the cheek, Roll…"
"But still; it was a kiss regardless!"
Netto had hoped that a good helping of his mom's leftover curry would ease his flopping stomach, but as far as he could tell, it would take a lot more than some sauce and rice to make him feel completely chipper again.
"I wonder if the nurse has any of that stomach medicine… Pepto-Bismol? It that that pink stuff?" Netto wondered aloud, knowing that his friends had noticed his discontent. "You know… 'nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, dia-'."
"Netto, onegai! I'm trying to eat here!" Yaito shrilly pleaded as she threw her hands up. "I can't believe that your… depression has made you lose your sense of decency!"
Meiru smiled gently, patting her male friend's shoulder motherly before leaning down to see the left side of his face. "I'll go with you to the nurse if you would like me to," she offered kindly, making the brunet feel more appreciative of her than he had ever been. "Dame… I'll be fine. After school I'll just go home and rest, okay? And sorry, Yaito… I hadn't realized that I was saying something that might make you sick," he almost mutely spoke, chocolate eyes glancing upward at the small blonde's face, which held a slight wrinkle of revulsion.
But as she took another bite of her delicious-smelling food, Netto already knew that he had been forgiven. "Hey, it's okay. I… I shouldn't have snapped. You were just asking a question about medicine, right?" she giggled nervously, dipping her spoon her rice bowl again.
"Roll, I am not giving you his e-mail!"
Sighing miserably, all hope that he would have to hear the sweet voice of his NetNavi for a while crushed against the fact that Roll was probably asking for Laika's e-mail address so that she could tell Searchman that before Rock's and his relationship went any farther that he needed her approval first. 'Why do girls have to approve of a friend's boyfriend?' pondered the brunet student as he chewed on his white plastic spoon. 'Shouldn't that be the parents' job?'
He couldn't answer his questions on his own, so he left it be.
"It's so quiet without Dekao around, don't you think?" Tohru inquired off-handedly, finally saying something throughout the lunch period. Netto knew that Tohru was still quite shy around them, even though he had known them for several years, but he didn't think that it was time to break some ice since all this other life-altering stuff had come up. "Un" was all the brunet could manage to say while Meiru went on saying that Dekao had to leave out of town for a few days after a recent family tragedy. "It's sad… One minute, someone's there, and another, they aren't. It just makes me realize how true carpe diem is…"
"Carpe diem?" queried the male Net Savior as he realized that he was hearing something that sounded familiar, but wasn't quite sure about.
"Mou, Netto, don't you even follow anything in Literature?" Yaito condescendingly prattled as she carelessly flung the fist with her spoon towards Netto, creating a makeshift pointer. "Carpe diem means 'seize the day.' You know, making the most out of each day before it's your last."
'Seize…'
"You don't even realize how in love you are with your NetNavi!"
'Make the most… out of life…'
"Netto-kun…"
"Neat…" he muttered as he glanced down at his blue PET, smiling gently at the thought of Rock's veiled face and his hands inching upward to raise the white, lace fabric to see her shining face. He wordlessly ate another bite of his lunch to suppress the chuckle that itched in his throat.
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"Can I be your joy… one day soon?"
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Though it was sad to have his father away from home at times, Netto felt that it was a bit of a blessing that Yuuichirou was nowhere around for a couple of days. After his mother had found out about his 'crush' for his NetNavi, she had remained considerate of the situation and had not spoken of it, and for all her son knew, she had not told his father. The merciful act touched the brunet boy, and he went on with his 'normal' life as best he could until trouble came in the form an older teen with white and black hair.
"Laika told me about what happened…" Ijuin Enzan mumbled quite embarrassedly as he stirred the metal spoon in his coffee, swirling together the sugar, cream, and black caffeinated drink. "I told him that it was very immature and unprofessional of him."
"Wow, you actually defended me, Enzan?" Netto sarcastically asked as he bent down to blow into his straw and make soda bubbles. He stopped for a second after Enzan's sharp, icy-blue as cut him a glare before proceeding with his childish act.
"He was actually regretful of his actions," went on the vice president as two of his pale fingers looped into the porcelain cup's handle to bring the streaming liquid to his lips. The younger male tensed a bit then relaxed, ceasing his bubble blow and raising his head in inquiry. "Honto ne? I've never really known stick-up-his-butt, Hikari-Netto-hating Laika to feel sorry about something…" he retorted back softly, taking a quick swig of his coke before turning his attention back to the young businessman.
The said businessman shrugged nonchalantly and set his cup back down, the sleeve of his dark-red sweater ruffling slightly. "I was a bit shocked too when he said it, but then again my life's been nothing but abnormal since I was teamed up with you two."
"I thought it was abnormal before then too?" joked Netto with only half the effort he usually gave. He hadn't noticed it before, but this week had been nothing but wearisome and Enzan's newly flared glare wasn't helping. "Geez, I'm sorry, all right? I'm trying to lighten the mood here…" grumbled the smaller Net Savior.
Rolling his eyes, the ebony-and-ivory haired male sighed, knowing that if he wanted to have even an extent of a conversation with his younger comrade, he would have to hit the nail on the head. This had always been the best path to take with Netto, even though it hadn't always been the safest.
"Does Rock-chan know yet?"
Like Enzan had predicted, Netto seemed to have stopped, the question smacking him right in the face and leaving him breathless. It took a minute for him to regain his senses before a sad, yet angered look sparked in his chocolate eyes and he jabbed his straw further into his soft drink. "… I haven't told her yet, if that's what you mean…"
"Laika was taken aback when Searchman came back from the date… He said he stuttered the entirety of the day after and even missed several targets. Not quite like him, I know, but…"
"If she'z happy wiff 'im, then I won't take 'er away from 'im," Netto defensively cut in with his mouth on his straw.
Exhaling and moving his fingers to rub the sides of the bridge of his nose, the vice president was now at a loss. This was not why he had come. Shockingly, he had come to compel Netto to tell Rock if hadn't already. Despite how much he picked and jeered at the younger male, he did care about how he reacted and felt, because normally he would have to hear about it or take the brunt of the waywardness during missions. Well, since Forte hadn't shown up lately (probably still trying to get over that Rock had changed just a tad bit) and nothing else had popped up lately…
Well, other than this…
"Listen… I just want to help you, okay? I know it must be tough, going through this, but… I just want you to know… If you ever need me to put a fist in Laika's mouth for you…"
Netto glanced up hopefully, as if maybe, just maybe, it might be the day for a static person to change just enough to throw off the spectrum.
"I'll do it… because you… a-and Rock… are my… comrades."
"You mean 'friends,' right?"
"Yeah… friends."
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"Searchman?"
"Hai?"
Something didn't feel right… In fact, it hadn't felt right since before the date she had agreed to. Rock felt it gushed about in a curiously placid tizzy, bubbling up a couple of strange thoughts each day. How did Netto feel and why did he feel that way? Ever since the beginning of the lesson, her Operator had been just plain different; his moods varied, his usual responses fell away and something unlike him would come up, and nothing just seemed right about him since she had come home from the Yokohama Fair. She would wonder silently if he was more affected by the date than she had thought prior, but she wanted to be sure of everything before assuming and causing her Netto-kun to fly off the handle.
… Again…
"I was… just thinking about… Netto-kun…" she began unsure, hesitant because she was deathly afraid of what the outcome of all the lesson might be.
"Netto-san? Why?" the sniper Navi asked as he raised his sniper arm to aim at a target. Rock's green eyes glanced up to his face, which was contorted from deep concentration and she waited until the bang sounded from his weapon before she continued. "He's… been acting weird ever since… well, since…" Her voice slipped off, lingering on the words that she desired to say, yet too hesitant to let them cry past her lips. It also didn't help her anxiety that Blues was training in close-range weapon combat adjacent to the area Searchman and she were in. Her crimson, silver-haired comrade was in earshot of their conversation, and for Netto's sake, she was going to keep as much as she could from him.
If the sniper had connected two and two together, he had yet to say so as his body jerked just slightly from the recoil of his weapon's rounds. To Rock, the red-eyed Sharo Navi just wanted to train his attention on the fake NetNavi programs popping up before him than talk about her Operator's obvious mood swings.
Feeling that the subject had long passed from her companion's mind, the cobalt NetNavi turned around slowly for the port into the Training Webpage before a rough voice stopped her in her tracks.
She had noticed that when she heard his words that the sounds of his gun's blasts had ceased…
"You mean that he might be upset by our date, correct?"
Making a one-eighty turn, the female peered worriedly at the red-haired male. She almost felt the need to faint when she saw that he was no longer turned towards the pop-up programs, but instead completely entitled to her attention, his narrow ruby orbs not missing a bit of the contortions stretching about her face.
"… Anō… un…" she grumbled out as her hands met in front of her for her fingers to tug at each other while her verdant gaze swiveled about to stare at anything but him. Tensely, her knee bent and her booted foot raised enough for her to begin tapping lightly at the aquamarine floor. After several moments, she began to feel her head weigh down on her neck and she hung it low, tears springing up to drown her already painful vision.
Searchman could not help but stay silent as he watched her position change many times. Before, he had perceived that there was only one way to stand, but the midnight-blue haired NetNavi's presence was enough to prove his conclusion wrong. Over the span of time that he had known her, he had found that it was quite an amusing little sight to watch each inch of movement that she made within ten seconds. It was ironic that all the times she would chime about to her Operator for him to stay still it was, in fact, her who needed to take in the coaxing. Of course, she wouldn't have as much of a fit that the human teenager did, but still… It was quite funny at times.
"Do you believe that he's jealous, maybe?" he put forth suddenly, causing a change in her demeanor. He guessed that she had not thought of that before, but only theorized that Netto was just mad to be mad or sad to just be sad.
"J-jealous?"
If Laika were there, the sniper was sure that his Operator would say something along the lines of 'oh, you didn't know? Oh, how naïve this little thing is!' Searchman then felt the need to roll his eyes. He had noticed with the past period of a half a week that the Sharo native had gained a half-cracked personality… He wasn't quite sure as to where his human colleague absorbed such juxtaposing behavior, but he safely assumed that Princess Pride might have had something to do with it…
But that was hardly anywhere near his concern as of right then. No, what mattered was that Rock and he got through this trivial situation before it got out-of-hand. The camouflaged male had always found it easier to handle things first off and straight on rather than push the dilemmas aside for them to just develop into even more of a problem.
"Yes, jealous. Do you think that maybe Netto-san is jealous?" he asked as if he were inquiring wistfully about the weather on that rainy day. He would like to have thought that he wasn't acting dumb to the whole span of the events that had taken place prior, but along with Laika's new found… attitude, the eldest human of the team had tapped into his ability to gossip, if that was what called it.
In other words, it had been relayed to Searchman that Netto was, more so than not, in love with Rock.
"I… don't know…" Unsurely replied the other as she felt her brows slide down to create an expression of thoughtfulness and confusion.
While she thought, the expert shooter reminisced back to last Sunday night when he had returned back to his PET. It was so evident that something was up with the Cheshire Cat (though the Cheshire Cat might have been outdone by it) smile on the light haired adult as he bent down to put his solemn face in front of the monitor with displayed Searchman's only to creepily play out the words…
"I know something you don't know…"
If this strange… occurrence hadn't been something that he was then used to, then the sniper would have immediately called up the nearest hospital and report that he needed an ambulance ASAP. But as it had been coming on (maybe it was because Laika had just turned eighteen…) previously, he hadn't moved a muscle.
"Yes, Laika-san?"
"I just had a fight with Netto… and he's jealous of you! Hikari Netto, jealous of you because you took his precious little Rock-chan on a date! I'm not even mad at you for leaving without my permission! It's all just so rich!"
It had hurt, truthfully, but…
Well, of course it had hurt! The Navi had just found out that his date's Operator was absolutely envious of him all because Rock was happily going throughout the fair, doing what she pleased, and dragging her male companion with her! If it hadn't hurt, then there would have been problems then too.
But he had listened to Laika, who seemed to gain back his seriousness long enough to tell the 'I know something you don't' story, before he gained any sort of a resentment for Netto. Poor boy had a crush and he hadn't even figured it out until his 'enemy-yet-friend' linked through to the brunet's computer to fight and scream and then to find out his feelings. It probably did even more damage to the mentality of the teen that the fact that his mother was present in the room. Many sessions in therapy would help in time, but this was now, and Searchman was then at a painful, heartbroken loss.
They had discussed it for several hours, plotting how things would turn out if actions weren't taken or were taken. A myriad of outcomes had been produced from the two talking, and, much as the camouflaged shooter hated to admit it, it might just be better to let Rock go. Yes, he deeply cared about above many things, and yes, his heart felt as if it had fallen eighty stories into a pit of spikes covered in barbed wire, but Time healed all wounds, and he felt that he would 'get over it.'
Better said than done, of course, but what else was he to do?
"Searchman?"
Releasing a bit of air that he didn't need, the Navi in question looked towards the blatantly perplexed female in front of him. It was now or never; would she stay, or would she go?
"If he's jealous…"
It was coming… the wonderful creased lines in her beautiful face were rearranging themselves and switching for the new emotions coming through, though his heart stayed in the same state that it was in seven-point-twenty seconds ago. His irises spanned around the training area, catching the hints of digital blue and green, along with some shining red as he felt that watching her lips form the words that would exit her adorable throat would just wholly break him…
Mutedly, he heard Blues grunt through a thin, shimmering blue wall of data to his right, the familiar sound of a sword slashing through a virus echoing in his head.
"Then… then…"
Closing his eyes, he wondered if it was truly the end, but he didn't want it to come. Maybe if he tightly closed them to where it felt as though his eyes would bleed, then maybe the pain would dull the ache.
"I… I… Netto-kun…"
And that was all Searchman needed to know before he willed a log out, leaving her alone, astonished, and guilty in the Center's Training Page.
-
In less than twenty minutes, his father was going to walk through the door from his business trip. The usually uppity teenager sat drolly at the kitchen table while his mother cooked, the steam from the stir-fry ascending from the wok she was stirring and dispersing into the air. The delicious soy-sauce aroma floated about him and yet he wasn't drooling or groaning about how slow she was taking. No, as of right then, he was pressing his gaze towards the front door, the wooden rectangle taunting him into his apprehensive state.
The shh'ing crackle of the vegetables and beef heating up on the stove was all that pierced the silence that had settled in after he had arrived home from school Rock-less. Her PET was blank, only the emerald screen blinking dully. He had barely remembered that he had put it down on the dinner table in front of him, too intent to burn a figurative hole into the brown door ahead of him.
Then, around ten minutes later, a shimmering shower of data appeared on the small screen of the azure PET before forming into the known figure of Rock. Her countenance seemed to be filled with regret as she slipped her hands behind her back before tipping her head upward to take in her Operator's full face.
"Ne… Netto-kun?" she initiated after just a moment's hesitation. As much as she would have hated to admit it, she was scared. Rock was so utterly terrified at how her partner would react that she almost wished that everything that she learned preceding her sudden need to know the truth had been nothing but lies. After all she had been through, both male and female, she would have thought that she had an iron will and a need to face things head on. But at that destructive second when Netto's head began to tilt away from the door and towards the plexi-glass screen, the whole foreboding ambience was shattered when the dreaded event occurred, and she was helpless to stop it.
Her call for attention was forgotten with the jiggle of a doorknob, and the widened eyes and tightened jaw of her Netto-kun just made the burden press further into her shoulders.
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Hikari Yuuichirou had opened the front door to the Hikari household and was now walking inside. The whole entirety of his 'scary coming' was ruined completely because he was puffing and heaving from having carried his heavy suitcase, laptop case, and over coat. In fact, the scowl that Netto had been so sure that he would see was replaced with a relaxed face of elation when Haruka hurried from the kitchen to help her husband with his burdens. All in all, it was an innocent display that would have seemed ordinary to anyone, but Netto knew that he was smarter than his parents. He knew that they were deciding their 'plan of attack' and he himself, despite all the battles where he was able to think on his toes, was ultimately helpless.
This particular battle that was about to be 'fought' could not really be called a battle, even though the teenager eluded it much like a novice soldier would conflict. However, it was something that just dripped of the idea of raised voices and pleads to see reason and both were something that the brunet boy tried to avoid at all costs.
Immediately, Netto felt his knees straighten and his sight rise so that he knew he was standing, but he was not quite sure what he was doing or where he was going. He left Rock's PET on the table (was she back yet?) and tiptoed towards the stairs to his room, but then a compassionate yet stern voice echoed through the downstairs, and the boy just knew that this was his moment to be picked at and prodded like an experiment. He really hoped that his friends were able to find that 'will' he had made ten years ago where he stated that Meiru got his t-shirts (she seemed to have three of them for some reason), Dekao got his manga, and though Tohru and Yaito were not in his life before the fifth grade, he hoped that they would all equally distribute his chips between them.
"Netto, would you come here a moment?"
'No! Oh, no, oh, no! They'll ask me how I… Why I… NO!' jumbled together Netto's brain as he stopped and squeezed his eyes shut tautly. Maybe he could shut it out, maybe he could stop Fate from taking Her scythe and cutting his head off… oh, yeah that was about as likely as Meiru saying 'yes' to Dekao's pleading for her to date him… It was completely implausible Netto figured, since none of those three would happen.
He gulped and began to turn around and before he was aware of anything, his body had betrayed his desperately screaming mind and he was standing in front of his parents.
'I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die…!' his thoughts raced, remembering everything that had led up to the pinnacle of this moment. The new program that his father had installed into Rock, the fights, Rock's emotional break downs, her date with Searchman, Laika's jeering words… Each vivid image bombarded the poor teen's mind, creating a suffocating slide show that he wished would end.
Oh, how he wished it would just end. Surely all of this was a dream he thought. But when he diverted his clouded eyes from the tile of the kitchen floor to his parents, he knew that it was nothing short of the worst possible nightmare; reality.
"Netto-" began Yuuichirou softly.
"I'm sorry!" Netto quickly shrieked, his deepening voice jutting itself between his father's words. "I really am! I didn't mean to fall in love with her, honest! I just… I just…" Netto fell short of words to say and his disposition changed dramatically; his shoulders slunk down on the joints and his spine bent forward. He couldn't believe that he had opened his mouth like that… he had basically blurted out everything that he didn't want out in the open…
A gasp sounded throughout the kitchen, and for a moment, Netto couldn't quite place who had done it until his mind clicked the sound and the face together and he groaned.
Rock had heard everything. Biting his lip, the brunet felt his heart bash itself against his ribcage. She… had heard… everything! That sweet little ball of mood-swings had heard every word that he previously shouted and now he knew the seams were broken on their friendship.
"… Ne… Netto-kun…" he heard his Navi whisper from her PET and he could just see her with her pretty green eyes wide with shock… and then they would sharpen and fill with disgust… 'Oh, God, why did all this have to happen?' he queried while on his emotional low.
"Ne-Netto… sweetie…" Haruka tried after a few minutes of silence, "Both your father and I… already knew how you felt… but… we're not quite sure what to say…"
"She's right, son," Yuuichirou began after he watched his wife step forward and place her hands on their son's shaking shoulders. He was afraid that if he did not do this delicately enough that he would lose his son's trust and respect… and one of his greatest fears was having the hate of his son… "Netto, I have the male program for Rock in my laptop case…"
Immediately, he gained the teenager's gaze, and the man saw how troubled and conflicted the boy was. It pained him to see his son in such a state, but he didn't know quite what to do. Never before had he sat down and let someone else pick up the puzzle pieces, but he felt that if he made a decision in this situation, it might end up being one of the worst decisions of his life.
"… Pa… pa?" the child-like boy timidly said, his eyebrows tilting down to show his confusion. Yuuichirou felt so sorry for this baffled child of his… but he knew that his son would have to choose… "Netto, I have the male program… I can install it into Rock-chan whenever you want. However… if you wish for Rock-chan to stay… Rock-chan… then it's completely up to you. But, of course, I can change Rock-chan back."
It was at that moment that Netto looked away from his father to stare at the table where the blue PET sat. Moving away from his mother's kind hold, he walked up to the side of the wooden square with wooden legs and gazed into Rock's tearful emerald eyes.
"Netto-kun… Netto-kun… I'm so sorry… I didn't know… I wish… I wish…" Rock then lost all composure and she dropped to her knees and became the sight that Netto had seen a myriad of times. To him, she was everything summed up into a being that he could only hold through a machine and ultimately, what he felt for her was nothing but wishful thinking. However, he could not help his affections for her… She, after all, was the epitomization of everything that was perfect for him. She was the other end of the balance… much like the Chinese idea of Yin and Yang. They were opposites… but they completed each other… She was kindness; he was abrasiveness. She was solemn; he was buoyant. She was mature; he was immature.
She was a program in a PET and he was a human in a world with no mercy.
But it was his decision. He could easily take away the accursed feelings that plagued his heart and mind with just a word or he could try to make her see what he saw…
Rock's sobs echoed throughout the kitchen and his head and, strangely, it was one of the most beautiful sounds he had ever heard. But it was his decision…
"Papa…?"
"Yes, Netto?" he heard the reply.
It seemed so trivial and yet so dynamic. All he had to do was say it and everything would be erased or everything would persist. What should he choose? What should he let become his life? Even if he decided to change his NetNavi back, would his feelings evaporate into thin air?
He didn't want to let this go, but the agony was almost unbearable.
"I… I…"
'I can… I can't… What should I do? Will I be happy either way?
'Will I be her joy?'
"You know how much they miss each other… They love each other, after all."
"I don't know… it seems so… beautiful now. Loving someone that much… it seems almost impossible to care for someone like that, since there's so much hate countering it…"
"… I'm sorry…"
"Well, you won't have to if you just put a little more faith in me!
"Isn't that so sad? Being called Loveless? It is such an awful name…"
"Stop! Just… please… stop…"
"… And maybe, just maybe… he'll kiss me!"
"... Netto-kun…"
"Netto-kun! You're going to be late… again!"
"Netto-kun…"
"Netto-kun…"
"Ne… Netto… k-kun…" he heard her wails return to his consciousness and her bittersweet cries just coddled the strings of his love more.
But it wouldn't… work?
He knew… he knew… all he had to do was say it… All he had to do was say those words…
"Papa… I want you to… to…"
All he had to do was say it… and at the infinitesimal moment when he opened his mouth, Rock glanced upwards. His eyes scoured her feminine body bent and twisted in a disorganized heap on the PET floor and when he met her swirling jade eyes, he knew… he knew that either way, she would be by his side.
"I want Rock to…"
They would be together, Rock and he… No matter what, she would still be there when he woke and when he slept. She would be there… for as long as he needed and wanted her…
And that was all he needed to know.
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End of Chapter Eleven!
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Love my cliffhanger? I knew you would.
Took long enough, huh? Sorry that it took so long… again. I've just been so busy… Well, I say that, but others could contest that! The ending is a bit rushed, but I hope it'll suffice.
Next is the Epilogue! I hope you enjoy! Come on, people, let's get over 100 reviews!