Why hello there. Long time no see huh? Soo anyway I know it's been a while but yeah. Combine writter's block with a whole lot of drama and you've got no updates. So let's just pray that the next one come's sooner yeah?

"I want you to go home."

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"I want you to go home to Atlanta and see your family. I want you to visit your brother's grave and to visit your old house," Dr. Brown explained.

"What if someone lives there?" I asked. I was trying to avoid the last thing on that list.

"You figure it out when you get there. Today's over. See you soon," she said.

Damn that doctor. This is something that don't want to do whatsoever. I shouldn't do it. No, then she'll be mad at me. Maybe I'll just go home. And now I'm stuck calling my parents. How else can I get a plane ticket?

"Uh hey dad I was wondering if you'd buy me two plane tickets?" I asked.

"To where?"

"Uh you know, Atlanta," I explained.

"What? You're coming home? Soleil that's amazing. Of course I'll buy your tickets. Your mother will be so excited." He was rambling. Mom was brushing off on him.

"Hey could you not tell everyone else? Maybe it could be like a surprise?" I asked.

"Sure thing baby girl. I'll se you when you get home."

"Bye Dad."

----

"I'm going home," I said.

"What?" he asked.

"I'm going home to Atlanta," I repeated.

"So you're just gonna leave like that?" he asked.

"I'm only going to visit silly," I laughed. "But uhm I asked my dad to get me two tickets."

"OK…"

"Well I want you to come with me," I admitted. I didn't want to leave him. He gave me too much security. "This whole ordeal is going to be really hard for me and I want you to be there to help me and stuff."

"You want me to come with you to stay with your family in Georgia?" he asked.

He seemed a little shocked. I was a little shocked too actually. At first I thought I'd take Kim but on the way home from the doctor I realized I wanted him with me. I wanted him there when I went back to the old house. "Yes," I replied.

"Sure thing," he said.

I let out a breath and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Thank you," I whispered.

----

"I fucking hate planes," I complained. I leaned back in my seat and shut my eyes.

"Why?" Jacob asked.

"I happen to be deathly afraid of heights," I explained. I made sure to take a pill right before we got on the plane. I knew I'd need it.

"Oh I'm sorry," he said.

He managed to stay quiet but just as I was falling asleep he started fidgeting. A lot. "Is something wrong?" I asked.

"Nerves."

"What are you nervous about?" I asked.

"Meeting your parents," he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. To most people it would be. Honestly I had forgotten that minor detail. I had a lot of other shit on my mind. Thanks Jacob. Now I have to be bothered with that.

In…two…three

Out…two…three

OK I'm calm now. Just try not to focus on the little things. Mom and dad will be so happy to see me they probably won't even notice Jacob. Exactly.

----

"Papa!" I shouted. I ran over to my dad and jumped into his arms.

"Soleil," he said, rubbing my head. He sat me and took a look at me. "You haven't changed a bit," he said.

"Neither have you. You didn't tell them did you?" I asked.

"No of course not. Don't you trust me?" he said smiling. He looked behind me and started frowning. Oh, right.

"Papa this is Jacob. My boyfriend," I said.

"What was that last part?" he asked, angered.

"Uhm, my boyfriend," I whispered.

*In the Car*

"Soleil I'm really disappointed in you," my dad said.

"Papa I said I was sorry. I wasn't even sure if he was going to come," I whined.

"Wait until your mother hears about this. And your brother! Oh this poor boy is in for it! Is that why you came home? So we could meet some boy you just met?" he shouted.

"Hey sir maybe you could stop that. It looks like you're making Soleil sad," Jacob suggested. Bad idea. My father slammed on the brakes and turned around. If looks could kill.

"Do not try to tell me how to raise my daughter! Do you hear me boy!" he yelled. I hate when he gets like this.

"Papa please don't. Not when I just got home," I whispered as I held onto my necklace. He looked down at it and turned back around without another word.

Dammit. Why do I have to cause all the problems? I made Grant kill himself and now I was making my dad angry. I should've just brought Kim. I shouldn't have come.

--

"Soleil?" Cain asked in disbelief.

"SOLEIL!" Cecilia shouted as she ran at me. She wrapped her arms around me and started squealing. Next Cain came and lifted us both up. I looked up and saw my mother in the doorway. She dropped this dish in her hand and ran towards me. I let go of my brother and sister and held her. She started crying.

"Mon bébé." She repeated over and over. My baby.

"Mère," I whispered. Mother.

----

"Wow Soleil he's really cute," Cecilia gushed.

I felt my face flush. "I know."

We both looked over at my mother as she violently chopped some carrots. She kept mumbling something to herself.

"She doesn't look to happy," Cecilia pointed out.

"I'm more worried about what Papa and Cain are doing to Jacob."

"Oh my fucking God!" Cain shouted. I jumped up and ran to the doorway.

"What?" I asked.

"Soleil look what you've done! I have to sleep on the couch now!" he complained.

"Why?" Cecilia asked.

"Well where else is Jacob going to sleep?" my mother asked.

"Can't he share with Soleil?" she asked innocently.

"Cece shut up please," I said with my head in my hands. She started giggling.

"Cecelia Violette Smith do you think this funny?" my father asked.

She cleared her throat. "Uhm no sir."

"Go to your room until dinner," he said.

"Awe but Papa it's only 5:30," she whined. He looked over at her and didn't have to say anything more. She ran straight to her room. I tried to creep out of the kitchen but my mother caught me.

"Where do you think you're going young lady?" she asked.

"Oh I uh figured I go to my room too," I explained.

"Ha, have a seat," she said point to a chair.

My parents didn't look very pleased with me. My father kept his eyes on Jacob. He looked even more angry than when they first met. If that's even possible. But my mother kept looking straight into my eyes. She looked more hurt than anything.

"Is this why you came home?" she asked slowly.

"Huh? What?" I asked.

"This boy. Did you only come home so we could meet some boy?" she asked. I saw that look of hurt again.

"Mère, no. I came home to get some closure. I just wanted Jacob here with me because I care about him," I explained.

"So your wanted to see your old mère?" she asked, brightening up.

"Of course. I've wanted to see you since the first day I left. But you know how I get," I said.

"Désolé," she said.

"I'm sorry too mom," I said, hugging her.

--

"I'm a horrible person," I said.

"What?" Jacob asked.

"Come on. I drove Grant to kill himself, which in turn made the whole family miserable. Look what I've done to my mother by being gone so long. And look at my dad. You know he never acted like that before. Now even the smallest of things sets him off. Cecilia puts on a good face, but I know her to well. I know it hurts her. And I know that every time Cain sees me he can't help but see Grant. I make all their lives miserable. That's why I left and that's why I'm not coming back."

"Look I'd really like it if you stayed in Washington forever. But you can't just run away from your problems. That's why you came here in the first place. Now's your chance to fix thing so you can leave feeling like a new person without all that weight on your chest. You can start over. You can start being happy," he said.

I waited a bit before asking this, "When I start over, are you still gonna be there?"

"I'm gonna be there forever Soleil because I love you."

"I love you too," I whispered.