I can't say this story has been an immediate smash hit so far, but, oh well. Like it or not, the story goes on. Things really start to move forward in this one, so if you're still with me, read on. I don't own Invader Zim or Tak, Hot Topic, or any of the brands, corporations, or real world entities I portray herein, except for the three OC's, the cop, and the research laboratory.
CHAPTER THREE: Painting the Town
"Welcome to the great city of Austin." I said after a long drive consisting of Tak's war stories, Ashton's complaining, and my trying to introduce Tak to the music of Green Day.
"It's...beautiful." Tak whispered as she looked up at the tall black glass skyscrapers, the millions of lights, and the artistic styling of buildings and statues that make up the better section of Austin.
"Yeah, it's rather nice aesthetically." I commented, talking loudly over the song 'Warning', "But this place is about as bloody dangerous as sleeping in a tent full of rattlesnakes."
"Not that he has any experience with snakes or tents, of course." Ana said quietly to Tak. Tak chuckled at the joke.
"Hardy blinkin' har." I said dryly, looking in the rearview mirror. "So where are we wanting to go, anyhow?"
"Turn up here." Ana instructed. "Now keep going. Take the next exit." It continued like this for about ten minutes, until Ana directed me into the parking lot of a huge shopping mall. I pulled into a parking space which seemed to be about 6.4 light years from the entrance. You know what I'm talking about. It was a Friday evening, for God's sake.
"The Mall?" I asked, turning around in my seat. "You're showing Tak culture by taking her to a Mall?"
"The best cross-section of our society is right here, blithely shopping for overpriced luxuries in a climate contolled environment." Ana said confidently. Tak looked at Ana, then to me.
"What is a Mall?" She asked.
"The MALL!" Ana announced as we entered the Mall's main door. Tak glanced around at the seemingly endless number of stores stetching on forever, or at least a couple of hundred yards. "Come on, let's get you some cool clothes." Ana grabbed Tak's hand, and began half dragging her as she enthusiastically dashed down the row of businesses. Ashton and I looked at each other and sighed, then ran after them.
Needless to say, we got stares. Tak dressed in purple scrubs, Me still in my labcoat (I did say that I do what I want), Ana in her black tank top, miniskirt and knee boots, and Ashton still as prim and propper as a Picadilly Street barrister, all of us wearing our lab badges. We walked together down the row, until Ana abruptly stopped, and gasped in joy.
"There it is, the Death Star." She was referring to a store that looked dark, probably due to the fact that it was filled with more black clothing than a Danzig concert. A red neon sign read "Hot Topic". Ana pulled Tak into the store.
"'Ey," Said a teenage goth girl, greeting us from behind the counter. "Whaddya guys need today?" She eyed my labcoat, then Ashton and Tak as if we were beings from the great beyond. Ana broke the ice.
"I just need some clothes for my little sister here. Think we can hook her up?" The teenager came from behind the counter, and looked at Tak, mentally sizing her.
"Yeah, I think we can find something cool for her." She said. She looked back at Tak. "Nice hair, sweety. Cool color job, too. Anyone ever tell you that you kind of look like Tak from Invader Zim?" I slapped my forehead and drug my hand down my face.
"Invader Zim is so awesome." Tak said in a sweet, girley voice. "And I think Tak is just the coolest. Do you think I could get some clothes and stuff that's as cool as my sister Ana's?" I think mine and Ashton's jaws hit the floor. She was good. The clerk walked to the back to retrieve some clothes, and I joined Tak and Ana.
"That was some good work, Tak." I said, impressed. Tak smiled.
"I'm an invader. I know how to fit in without making so much as a ripple." The clerk came back with a pile of clothes, which she lay on the counter.
"Have you seen our Invader Zim stuff?" She asked, holding up a teeshirt with a picture of Zim on the front. I saw Tak's eye twitch.
"Actually," Ana said, trying to diffuse a potentially dangerous situation. "Do you have something a little less...cartooney?" The clerk held up a black tank top with a skull and crossbones on the front. Tak's eyes lit up.
"Perfect." Tak said. "What else do you have?"
Tak stood before us, wearing the black tank top, a black and purple miniskirt, black and purple stiped armwarmers, a black, studded choker, and her buckle boots. She had painted her lips dark blue, matching her hair, and rimmed her eyes with black eyeliner. All in all, a $200.00 makeover, but it was worth it.
"Oh, good God, Ana," Ashton remarked. "You've made her goth." Ana bit her lip and giggled. These were scientists, now, lest you forget. People who are supposed to be professional thinkers. People who get paid very well to make rational decisions to benifit mankind. But if I say any more, I'd be a hyppocrite.
"You look absolutely...stunning." I said. Tak's eyes met mine, and she smiled softly. I smiled back. Tak blinked as though breaking out of a trance.
"Thank...you, I guess." She said, turning away. Ashton looked at me with a look of "what the hell are you doing?", and I shrugged as if to reply "nothing". Ashton sighed.
"I'm starving to death." He complained. "Lets get something to eat while we're here."
"What would you like, Tak?" I asked. "Pizza, burgers...pizza burgers?"
"I can't eat your filthy Earthen food products!" Tak exclaimed. "Are you trying to kill me?" I looked at Ana.
"Little help?" I said. She was the expert. She thought for a moment.
"Waffles!"
Tak eyed the huge belgian waffle on her plate. She began poking it cautiously with a fork. I paused to watch, a roll of sushi halfway to my open mouth as she treated the waffle as if it were a nuclear warhead.
"It's okay," Ana said. "Trust me. Zim can eat them with no trouble, so my guess is, they're safe for all Irkens." Tak cut off a small piece of the waffle, and speared it with her fork. She slowly brought it to her mouth, and began chewing it experimentally. She swallowed the bite and raised an eyebrow.
"Hmm. I'm not melting yet, and it tasted pretty good." She took another bite, then another. "I kind of like this delicacy." She picked up the entire waffle, and began to eat it like a large slice of pizza. "Do you think you guys can mix up a batch of Irken soda?" She asked in between mouthfulls. I looked at Ashton and Ana, and shrugged.
"Sure," I said. "What's in Irken soda?" Tak thought for a moment.
"Carbonated purified ammonia, organic cane derived syrup sweetener, artificial burnt sweet cane flavor, an alkaloid stimulant, and phosphoric acid." She said. Ana began laughing, while Ashton sat with a look of disgust on his face.
"It's..." Ashton said, putting a hand to his mouth. "It's...Pepsi-flavored Windex." Ana laughed so hard, she snorted. I laughed lightly for a moment at the comic scene.
"Yes, Tak." I said, still grinning. "I think we have everything at the lab to produce such a...beverage."
"What?" Tak asked, annoyed at being left in the dark about something funny about her. "What is so funny? Don't you people drink soda?"
"Yeah," I said, eating another piece of sushi. The salmon and black seaweed sushi is really delicious. "But we're water based, so ammonia is to us what water is to you." Tak smiled a bit. "We make soda out of carbonated water. To us, ammonia is a...window cleaner." Tak looked around the table at us for a moment, then burst out in laughter.
We left the mall, pulling out onto the main highway. We drove down the road, explaining to Tak about what we do, how things are, and a hundred other things we felt were vital for her to know. I was rambling about exactly why Tak shouldn't blow things up and decapitate people, when we were interrupted by the sound of a siren behind us. Checking the rearview, I really couldn't help but notice the police interceptor following us, its blue lights flashing. Tak looked back nervously.
"An Earth authority vehicle?" Tak asked. "A...po-leese?"
"I'm afraid so." I muttered, pulling the van over to the side of the road. The cruiser parked behind me, and out stepped someone I could only describe as resembling Sherriff Justice from Smokey and the Bandit. He walked authoritively up to the now rolled down driverside window, his hand on the grip of his holstered handgun. He leaned in the window and eyed all four of us angrilly, especially Ana and Tak.
"Ya know how fast yer goin back there?"
"No sir." I said instinctively.
"Well, you were goin' four mawls over the limit. Can't ya' read the signs?" Bloody great, a redneck deputy that probably hated us from the minute he figured out we were scientists. He probably hated anyone who could read over a primary school level.
"I'm really sorry, sir. I said. "I guess I was a little distracted." He grunted.
"Ah'd be distracted too if I had a couple a girls in the backseat done up like halloween. It's disgraceful how young women these days run around like that, dressed up like the Whore a' Babylon." Tak growled angrily from the backseat. The deputy looked back at her suspiciously. "Yall on somethin'?" he asked.
"No, sir." I replied. "Just trying to get back to work, you know." The deputy scoffed.
"Why don't you open up and let me have a look inside." He said, opening the sliding door. Tak immediately reached out and grabbed the deputy's arm.
"There's no problem here, officer." Tak said in a commanding voice, looking the officer in the eyes. For a brief moment, I saw a shimmer of white light pass across Tak's eyes. The deputy moved away slowly.
"I reckon there's no problem here." The deputy said, closing the door. "Yall go on yer way, and be careful." He returned to his car and sped off. I spun around in the seat.
"That was..." I exclaimed. "Bugger me, that was amazing! How did...you..." Tak smiled.
"I hypnotized him." She said. "I can do that, you know." A laugh escaped my mouth.
"You are amazing, Tak!" I stated. "God, I'm sort of glad we brought you through. You're...you're indescribable. You're beautiful! I could bloody well kiss you right now!" Tak lept forward, siezing my head in her hands, and kissed me deeply on the lips. She dropped back into the seat, leaving me feeling very confused and stunned. Ana sat, looking between Tak and I wide eyed and astounded. Oookay, awkward moment. Right then. I turned around, and started the van, pulling onto the road, and heading back toward the lab.
A little much? Anyway, It looks as though there's going to be some romance in future chapters huh? You want to know why she kissed him, don't you? I bet you're just dying to find out, too. Well, crawl off and die from desire if you want, 'cause I reveal nothing. Please review before I get really desperate and go insane. Until the next installment, may the force be with you...I mean cheerio.