Dr. Phyllis Show Episode 5Special Guests: Voldemort/ Harry Potter
(In case anyone is interested, I've been given a suggestion to write another with Harry Potter characters. What if I just run a different scenario?? Picture this, Harry's and Voldy's wands DON'T work. A duel this time? More of a funnier way episode one could've gone. Plz review if you like it. An update, of sorts. =D)
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(round of applause from audience. Scene zooms in on our own Dr. Phyllis, who is sitting in a stiff chair, wearing the ugly suit of hers. A slight grin on her face as the director cues that it's live)
Dr. P: Hello and welcome back to the Dr. Phyllis Show, where your favorite heroes and villains come and talk about their problems. One month ago, we visited the wizarding world.. Since last time it didn't go too well, please welcome back Mr. Tom Riddle and Mr. Harry Potter.
(V and HP enter stage.. again)
Dr. P: Welcome back to both of you. Now, I understand that one of you has been to counseling. Mr. Riddle?
V: Anger Management, actually. It's surprising that in just a few weeks, I've overcome almost all of my desires to kill you.
Dr. P: Um.... ok. And Harry? I've heard that you aren't fainting nearly as much as before.
HP: Uh, no.
Dr. P: Wonderful! A happy ending at last! Now tell me, Mr. Riddle. Last time you were on, you yelled, 'Avada Kedavra' (what now? I fixed da spelling!) What exactly does that mean?
V: Um... I'm not quite sure.
Dr. P: Latin, perhaps? You know, there's a reason it's called one of the 'dead' languages. Can I see the twig you were waving around?
V: Wand.
Dr. P: Of course, of course. (she thinks V is crazy.)
V: (pulls out wand) See?
Dr. P: Could you demonstrate for us, please?
V: Mr. Potter, if you will?
(HP shakes his head.)
Dr. P: Oh, come on, Harry. He's going to demonstrate this 'Avada Kedavra'.
V: Perhaps you, Miss?
Dr. P: Why, I'd be honored. What exactly does it do.
V: Soothing, I believe. But don't worry, you won't feel a thing.
HP: Don't do it! He'll kill you!
V: Oh hush, Harry. I mean no harm.
HP: DON'T DO IT! STAY THERE!
V: Avada Kedavra!
HP: Expelliarmus!
(nothing happens)
V: (shakes wand) AVADA KEDAVRA!
(still nothing happens)
Dr. P: That was.. interesting.
V: AVADA KEdavra?
HP: (laughs)
V: What is wrong with my wand?
HP: Expelliarmus!
(nothing happens)
HP: Ridikulus!
(nothing happens)
HP: (shakes wand) What's going on?
Dr. P: Your twigs don't do anything, they're twigs.
V: Crucio!
HP: I don't get it.
Dr. P: Now, are these ' spells ' Latin or Greek?
HP: (flicks wand) I don't know. Ridkulus!
(a small spark flies from wand)
HP: What is wrong with my wand?
V: Maybe it's out of juice... AVADA KEDAVRA! (green spark flies and hits ground two feet away)
Dr. P: Now, if it's a magic trick, Mr. Riddle, the correct word is 'Abracadabra' not 'Avada Kedavra'.
(V slumps into chair)
Dr. P: Or, if you're trying to open a door, the magic word would be 'Open Sesame'.
(HP slumps into chair, still fiddling with wand)
Dr. P: And our little children can never forget the magic words 'Please' and 'Thank You'.
(V drops wand, a bored expression on his face)
(HP reaches for V wand)
V: Don't even think about it.
(HP sits back in chair)
Dr. P: Now, let's talk about the English game of Quidditch (how do u spell it?) Harry?
Dr. P: I believe it's very much like hockey or curling, because you use brooms.
HP: Not at all, really.
Dr. P: Do you sweep?
HP: Um, no. You sit and fly on it.
Dr. P: I thought only witches do that on Halloween.
HP: Not exactly. Wizards ride brooms too. It's not a very effective way to travel, though.
V: I remember my first broom. Of course, I tired of it after a week or so and broke it.
(HP looks as V strangely)
HP: Um.. ok.
Dr. P: Well... (looks at watch) That's all the time we have for today. Tune in next time for our discussion on school. This is the Dr. Phyllis show, where your favorite heroes and occasionally villains talk about their lives. Goodbye!
HP: I hate you.
V: I hate you too.
Dr. P: Nice to see that we all get along... Goodbye!
(screen blacks out)
(rumbled applause)