"Roger, when are you gonna record another album? I miss hearing you sing for just you." Alexandra asked looking up at Roger as they got ready for the premiere party.
"I sing for me all the time Baby. The show releases a soundtrack every season." he said looking over at her as he struggled with his tie.
"Roger, you sing for the show. You don't sing for you. I miss you recording for you as Roger Davis. Not your character on tv." she smiled walking over to help him with his tie.
"I know, but between filming and writing and recording for the show, I don't have much time." he said looking down at her.
"Maybe you should make some time then. Roger, you're a musician. An amazing musician. I remember the night I first saw you in that club in the East Village. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. Seeing you up there is what made me fall in love with you. I miss that, Roger. I really do." she smiled reaching up to caress his face.
"Do you remember how nervous I was before I went on stage?" he asked laughing.
"Yeah I do. I don't know what made you tell me that you were nervous like that. I mean, we just met. But then you got up there and you were so incredible. I couldn't take my eyes off of you." she smiled as he wrapped his arms around her small waist.
"I felt so comfortable with you. I don't know, maybe it was those amazing blue eyes of yours that had me. But I felt like I could tell you anything." he smiled leaning down to kiss her.
"Alexandra." Roger said as she approached the club. He was standing outside smoking a cigarette. She was wearing tight black jeans and a black body suit. Her long blond hair was half up in a sloppy pony tail she had strands of hair hanging around her face.
"Hi Roger, what are you doing out here?" she asked looking up at him. He was wearing dark blue jeans and a tight white tank top. She could see his muscles flex each time he lifted the cigarette to his perfect lips for a drag.
"Smoking. I like to relax out here by myself before I go up there, you know." he answered holding his cigarette up.
"Oh OK. I'll go inside then." she said looking up at him.
"No, that's not what I meant. I'm sorry. It's just, once I get up there, I'm not me. I'm this guy who always says the right thing and and always knows what to do next. You know, A minor then G. But here, I'm totally lost, you know. I mean, everybody's looking at me when I'm up there and I'm not that guy. I don't like people looking at me and seeing me." he said leaning against the wall.
"I'm sorry Roger. I, um I didn't know. So why do you do it?" she asked looking at him sympathetically.
"I do it because I love the music. But the guy I am up there is totally not who I really am. I'm a mess." he said looking down.
"You don't look like such a mess to me." Alexandra said smiling up at him.
"I'm sorry. I don't know why I told you that. It's just, before shows, I always feel...I don't know." he said throwing his cigarette in the street.
"Roger, it's OK. Everybody needs to talk sometimes. How come you don't talk to your friends?" she asked as he leaned back against the wall and slid down.
"I don't know. I never told anyone that before." he said looking up at her.
"Roger, you are incredibly talented. At least that's what Joanne tells me, but you're also a human being. You're allowed to feel overwhelmed sometimes by the world." she said crouching next to him. She struggled because of her high heeled sandals. She leaned a little too much to her right because she nearly fell right on him. He reached out and caught her. She knocked him to the ground too and they sat there laughing.
"Are you OK?" he asked smiling at her.
"Yeah, I'm so sorry Roger. These are new sandals and they're really hard to maneuver in." she said laughing as she got herself back to her feet.
"That's OK. Are you OK though? Did you hurt your ankle or your foot or something?" he asked looking down at her.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little embarrassed." she said laughing as she tried to stand up.
"Here, let me help you. I wouldn't want you to actually succeed in killing yourself." he laughed as he got up and held his hand out to her.
"Thank you. Did I hurt you?" she said smiling up at him.
"Nah, just landed on my ass. Luckily, I can actually perform without it." he said as they stood in front of each other smiling as the door opened. It was Mark.
"Roger, you're on in 5 minutes." he said as Roger directed his attention away from Alexandra.
"Sure. Thanks Mark. Um, this is Alexandra. She works with Joanne. Alexandra, this is my roommate Mark." Roger said introducing them.
"Hi Mark. You work at Buzzline, right?" she said smiling at him.
"Yeah, it's nice to meet you Alexandra." Mark said shaking her hand.
"I gotta go in and do this. Are you hanging out afterwards?" Roger asked looking down at her.
"Yeah, I can. Good luck." she said smiling at him as they went into the club.
"Alex, you're the one who made me want to be seen. Before you were the one seeing me... I felt lost." he said looking down at her.
"Roger, you just needed someone to talk to." she smiled looking up at him. "Do you remember? I almost broke your ass that night." she laughed looking up at him.
"That's OK. I didn't mind. It gave me an excuse to be close to you." he smiled looking down into her blue eyes.
"Roger, my point is I miss you being that guy. That nervous guy you used to be and then you used to get on stage and you mesmerizing the whole room. Mesmerizing me. I miss that Roger." she said looking up at him.
"I know Baby. I miss it too. But I have commitments. To the show, the network..." he started looking down at her.
"What about your commitment to yourself? Roger, you're the most talented musician I know. I would hate to have your entire body of work to be for the network. You've been through too much to give up on being who you are. Who you were when we met?" she smiled looking up at him.
"I'm still who I was when we met. I'm just a little older, a little thinner on top, maybe a little thicker in the middle, but I'm still the same." he laughed looking down at her.
"Roger, you're just as sexy as you were that day in Joanne's office. Not much older, not much thinner on top, but you've been getting thicker for years thanks to my incredible cooking. But you are just as sexy. Maybe sexier." she smiled lifting her bare arms over his shoulders and bringing him in for a passionate kiss.
"Baby, we have to leave for the premiere." he whined looking down at her.
"I know. Just a little preview for later." she teased looking up at him. "But promise me you'll think about recording for yourself, OK?" she asked looking down at him.
"I promise Baby." he smiled looking down at her.
"Thank you. We have to get going. I wouldn't want the star of the show to be late." she smiled looking up at him.
"Roger, how do you feel about being stereo typed as a musician who plays a father rather than an actor who happens to be a musician?" a reporter asked as Roger and Alexandra exited their car outside the premiere.
"It doesn't bother me at all. I am a musician and a father. There's nothing wrong with it. I love playing music and I love my family. I'm glad I get to play a character who has the same priorities as I do." he smiled holding Alexandra's hand.
"But what about your career? Don't you want to branch out to juicier roles?" the reporter asked looking up at him.
"Nah, I'm happy being who I am. It gives me time to do what I love. Play my music and be home for my wife Alex' amazing cooking. Thank you." he smiled waving at the fans as he proceeded down the walkway.
"Does that mean what I think it means?" Alexandra smiled looking up at him.
"Yeah Baby. I'm gonna start writing for me." he smiled leaning down to kiss her.
"I am so happy for you Roger. I can't wait to see you perform again." she smiled looking up at him as the flash bulbs went off around them.
"Do you realize how hard it is to write for yourself?" Roger asked dropping his head onto the desk.
"Baby, you write for the show all the time." she laughed looking down at him as she poured him a cup of coffee.
"Yeah, that's for the show. I'm trying to get back to my old style. I haven't written that in years." he said looking up at her.
"You'll do it Baby. I have faith in you. Maybe you should go for a swim to clear your head. Cassie and the boy's will be home from school soon and then you'll never get any peace." she laughed looking down at him.
"Are you gonna join me?" he asked wrapping his arm around her waist and bringing her onto his lap.
"I might. If you ask nicely." she laughed looking down at him.
"Please Baby." he pouted looking up into her blue eyes before leaning up to kiss her.
"I guess I can spend some time with my wonderful husband." she smiled kissing him again.
"Forget the swim. How about we go upstairs?" he asked smiling up at her.
"I like that idea better." she smiled as he got up, picking her up to carry her up the stairs to their bedroom to make love.
"Do you remember that first night after the show?" he asked looking down at her as he caressed her shoulders.
"Walking in the park all night? Yeah, I think I remember that." she laughed looking up at him.
"Do you wanna get out of here? We could go for a walk." he suggested smiling down at her.
"Yeah, I'd really like that." she said smiling at him as they went inside so Roger could get his guitar and tell everyone they were leaving. They walked around the Village and talked. She told him about her abusive ex boyfriend and he told her about losing Mimi. Before they knew it the sun came up.
"I can't believe we've been walking and talking all night." he said sitting on a bench in Tompkin Square Park.
"I know. It's funny. I feel like I can tell you anything." she said smiling at him as she held her sandals in her hands.
"Me too. Um, Alex I have something I have to tell you." he said turning to face her.
"OK. Hit me." she said smiling at him.
"Um, I'm HIV positive. I should have told you before, but I don't know... I was scared." he said as he
looked down.
"Roger, it's OK. I knew." she said quietly as she moved closer.
"You did? Why didn't you..." he said looking up at her."Because it's not a big deal to me. I like you Roger." she told him leaning in to him.
"I like you too Alex." he said putting his hand on her face as they leaned in to kiss each other.
"That night I knew was gonna fall in love with you." he smiled looking down at her.
"Really? We didn't kiss until the end of the night." she said looking up at him.
"I knew I wanted to kiss you before the show. But then Mark came out to tell me I was on and I didn't get the chance." he smiled looking down at her.
"I wanted to kiss you too." she smiled looking up at him.