Prison Log: Entry 9611

HELLO my loyal fans!! Here's the next 100 ways!!!

Prison Life ain't so bad… I'm here with many others of the same crime. (Attempting to steal the rights to HP.) I hope you enjoy this chappie, I've gotten many suggestions from the other inmates, but some of them aren't appropreate to use. (aka, what'd they'd do with Snape if they owned HP. shudders) Anyway, I hope you enjoy: 1,000 ways to annoy your favorite potions master, Part 3.

Disclaimer: I owned HP for 82 seconds. THAT'S BETTER THAN YOU ALL!!!! WOOOT!!! Don't try these suggestions at home folks. Unless you are JKR. Then, PLEASE DO THIS AST HOME AND SEND ME PICTURES!!!!

Ask to borrow a tampon from him

Ask to borrow a pad from him

When he says (yells) he doesn't have any, respond with a gasp and say: "Sorry, by the look on your face I thought you were PMSing!"

Drool at him

Drool on him

Ask him if it's his birthday

…Everyday

Sing happy birthday to him nonstop

…Even if its not his birthday

When he tells you this, reply with: "I thought you were kidding!"

Send him birthday cards

…Everyday

…That sing

…"Happy Birthday to Sevy! You are so sexy! You work for the Dark Lord! And…you act like one too!!!"

Send him howlers

...Frequently

That say (yell) about how he missed your birthday

…Signed with Harry's name

…Or Sirius's

…Or Lupin's

…Or Dumbledore's

…Or Voldemort

…Or Draco's

…Or Lucius's

At random times, grab him and begin to tango with him

Blame Draco for hexing you

Scream when ever he comes near you

When asked about this, say you're afraid of the thing on his face

Then say: "Oh wait is that… YOUR NOSE????? Sorry, my mistake"

…Loudly

Ask him if he's part troll

Ask him if he's all troll

…Loudly

…In front of many people

…Often (duh)

Put "Kick me" signs on the back of all of his robes

Put "Hex me" signs on the back of all of his robes

Make sure he can't see them

Follow the directions on the signs

Make sure everyone does

Blame Draco

Blow raspberries at him

Stick your tongue at him

…When he isn't looking

Get Peeves to follow him around all day

…And night

…And do any of the above to him

Speak only French to him

…Mumble it

If he figures this out, immediately switch to Spanish

Repeat above with Italian, Russian, Swedish, Bulgarian etc.

After a few languages, switch to Gibberish and make him guess what language is

Get many others to do this

At random times, switch back to English and see if he notices

If he does, switch back to whatever language you were working with and pretend nothing happened

If he doesn't, continue to speak in English until he does

…Then switch back

Make up songs about him being a Death Eater and sing them around school

…Loudly

…Get Peeves to also do this

Make up songs about him being a vampire and sing them around school

…Loudly

…Get Peeves to also do this

Sing theses in all of the languages you have worked with in the above annoyances

…Include Gibberish

…Have Peeves do this

…Get many people to sing with you

Call him Scrooge

…Often

Sing him holiday carols

…When it's not Christmas

Tell him it's to "Descroogeify" him

…Loudly

Call him the "Half-Blood Prince"

Ask him if he's royal since he's a "Half-Blood PRINCE"

Call him the "Half-Blood Scrooge"

Call him the "Half-Blood Vince"

If asked why, just say: "Because it rhymes with PRINCE"

Say everything in rhymes

Jinx him to say every thing in rhymes

Don't go to his detentions

When asked about this, say you didn't go because you were busy

Get sorted into Slytherin and loose points for them

Get on the Slytherin Quidditch team and lose the game for them

Tell him to go play with his chemistry set

Ask him if he's the DADA professor yet

…Often

…And loudly

As him WHY he's not the DADA professor yet

…Loudly

…And often

Call him the Home-Ec professor

…Loudly

…Often

…And around the Slytherins

Ask him if he does drugs

...Often

Call him constantly

Ask him why he isn't returning your calls

Ask him where he got a phone

JKR hasn't gotten back to me on those pictures… I'll let you know how it turns out.

FREEDOM IN 5 DAYS!!!!!! THANK YOU TO WHOEVER PAID PART OF THE BAIL!!!!! I LUV YOU!!!!!

(P.S-Who are you????)

Remember, I'll take almost any suggestion, but keep in mind that I already have a bunch, so don't be surprised if the one you sent at the beginning ends up in the last chapter.

Anyway, thanks to: coyotedreamer, ggmaxwell, hufflclaw, opungo, Rabid Lawn Gnome, Rosa-Vulpes, SShappiness for being such awesome friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh ya, go read my other stories, 'cause they rock!!!!!!

Luv ya'll,

A Free Luna in 5 Days

(P.S- REVIEW PLEASE!!!!)

(P.P.S- SEND ME WAYS PLEASE!!!)