disclaimer: FANfiction. think about it. all i own is the plot. i would never have had the pure genius for all that is kingdom hearts--like putting disney and ff characters in there.

please don't flame. and thx to Gamet Kauum Gekxoum for pointing out some errors. yeah i think that's it so READ!!!!

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Ch.1: My Heart Goes Out

Axel's POV

I sat at my table watching her, hesitant, unsure whether to approach her. She sat a table away, clutching a bag to her chest and staring into space. I saw the unshed tears as she blinked them away, saw a frightened little girl.

She never said a word as I watched her, never called out for help. But still I heard it- her silent plea for help. And I so desperately wanted to tell her how I felt for her, not pity, I was sure she wouldn't want that, who did?, but sympathy for whatever was wrong even though I didn't know her.

But I don't know what to do. She's in pain; she doesn't need pity, but help. But I'm glued to my chair I don't know what I can do… if anything. She hasn't seen me yet. And it's nearly closing time; she appears to have no place to go… if I wait until she leaves or try to make sure she goes somewhere safe I'll only terrify her, I'm sure. All those stories they tell of stalkers and worse… that is clearly not the best idea. But even if I go up to her now, even though my intentions are good, how can she possibly tell? And if I'm misunderstood I might make everything worse.

But if I don't say anything tomorrow she might be another name and face in the news, another tragic story. And she needs to know there are others out there willing to help. That she doesn't need to suffer, that others care. All she needs is a shoulder to cry on, maybe I can offer that at least.

Her POV

I scrambled back in shock as a man appeared in front of me. He saw my discomfort, and backed away (he hadn't been that close, but I hadn't been noticed him and then he was in front of me). I looked at him. What does he want?

He hesitated, and then began awkwardly "I was sitting nearby and… wondered if you needed some help. I know it's not my place but… you looked like you could use some. I could take you to a police station or something. Do you need a phone?"

I stared at him in bafflement. A complete stranger offering to help me just because I looked like I needed help… not that he was far off… Biting my lip, deep in thought, my mind wandered. Realizing I still hadn't answered him, I flushed at my rudeness as he watched me with evident concern. "Thank you. But I'm not sure… I can't go to a police station; I'd like to call him, but I… I don't know his number."

I watched as he stared at me in bafflement this time and wondered if I should have said something different.

Axel's POV

He? 'His number'? Maybe I should stay out of it… it's clearly personal. Is he her boyfriend or something? But she's clearly pretty torn up… there has to be something I can do… I cleared my throat. "Do you know where he lives? Maybe I can take you there." I couldn't help but wonder if I should get involved in this. But I couldn't take back my offer to help; she was just a kid and needed some help. And in this town there weren't many to offer that, too absorbed in their lives to notice another's pain … I knew that from experience.

She just looked at me with these piercing eyes. Those eyes in such a young face nearly floored me they looked so…old and sad. So incongruent with the rest of her. She'd been through a lot. She spoke haltingly, "But… why? Why help me? I'm nothing to you, just a stranger."

"I don't really know… you just look like you need help. So I thought I'd offer to help." It was all I could say under her intense scrutiny.

Her POV

I looked at him: those glittering green eyes, the funny triangular tattoos under them, and the fiery hair and impulsively decided. "Can you help me find him? That would be great." I knew it was possibly one of the stupidest things I had ever done. Maybe not the stupidest ever… Otherwise I wouldn't be in this mess… but it still probably ranked pretty far up there.

…But he seemed friendly, offering to help, and everything seemed to indicate his intentions were entirely pure. He'd offered to let me use his cell phone; I couldn't see any possible ulterior motives behind that. He was just a Good Samaritan… I didn't think people like that were actually still around. Maybe I was too cynical. Or maybe too trusting. But I trusted him now. I couldn't even fully get the reasons into words; yeah, there were the logical reasons I had thought of, but… that wasn't why I'd agreed. Maybe… it's because he…he… looks like her.

"You mean… you don't know where he lives?" He drew his eyebrows together obviously not expecting this. Maybe I should just say "Never mind"; I don't want to drag this poor guy into it. It's my problem. Not his.

I waved it away. "No, you're right, it's okay I can find him on my own." He just looked at me one of those 'who-do-you-think-you're-fooling' kind of looks; I sighed. "You're right I don't know what I can do, but I don't think you'll be able to help me either. I don't know how to contact him. But I'll find him!"

Axel's POV

Wow, that last statement was particularly vehement. She was completely serious. Who was this guy? What was he to her? And… as far as how to find him I had an idea, but I didn't know what she'd think of it.

Her POV

I watched him; it looked like he wanted to say something, but wasn't sure how to say it. But then an employee came over to us, "Excuse me, sir, miss, but we're closing up now." He looked at us curiously for a moment before walking away.

My stomach clenched as I struggled to keep down the panic threatening to overwhelm me. Where could I go? I didn't know this area very well, didn't know where I could stay, didn't have much money to stay anywhere, anyway. And would they let a minor rent a hotel room? I didn't even have an ID. And then there was my mother… I didn't want her to find me. I felt a hand on my shoulder it was… I realized I didn't even know this man's name; I just sorta thought of him as 'the Good Samaritan' or 'the nice guy' or something. "Um… I just realized I don't even know your name… so…"

"It's Axel", he supplied, and I was inordinately relieved to know the man's name.

"I'm Naminé. It's nice to meet you Axel." Figuring it was time for us to leave, I exited the building and he accompanied me.

"I have an idea for how we can contact him; we can go to a hotel." At this I froze. What was he saying? But he continued, "They have phonebooks there and we can find his number." I relaxed.

"That sounds good. Thank you." Then he can pick me up and I won't have to worry about where I'll stay.

Axel's POV

When we arrived we asked for the hotel's phonebook; they gave it to us and I asked for his name. "Cloud Strife" came her reply. I flipped to the 'S's, found several names listed under Strife, took out my cell phone, and began calling. A few of those listed never picked up and had no answering machine; others were the wrong Strife; one was unavailable or had their number changed or something; another was disconnected. Damn! I called all of them, what am I going to tell her?

I walked over and heard her talking to the man at the front desk. "How much for a room?"

"First I need proof of ID."

"I don't have it on me, but I have cash."

I walked over to her, grabbed her arm, and pulled her over to talk to her. "What are you thinking?!" I hissed. "I can't let you stay in a hotel room by yourself. Are you even an adult yet?"

"What does it matter? I don't have anywhere else to go right now. There's nothing else I can do."

Oh God, what I was going to say next could so easily be taken the wrong way… "You can stay at my place. I can take the couch and you can get the bed."

To her credit, she didn't flip out, instead she stood calmly considering. Then she decided "… All right, but I'll get the couch; I won't kick you out of your own bed."

I was too relieved she'd agreed and hadn't run away screaming (I had no desire to get arrested) to argue. Then it occurred to me. Could this be considered kidnapping? I desperately hoped not.

We made it to my apartment and I told her to make herself comfortable. "Want something to drink?"

"Water's fine." I handed her a glass and she sipped it quietly.

"…If you don't mind me asking what were you doing there?"

"I don't mind" she replied quietly. "I was looking for Cloud. He used to work as one of the managers there. But they told me he changed jobs recently."

"Without telling you any of this?" I clarified.

"Correct. So I wasn't sure what to do after that… And then you showed up." She smiled. "I don't think I ever thanked you properly for all your help. Thank you. I should find him by tomorrow. Even if I don't I'm sure I can find a hotel or apartment somewhere."

"No. If you don't find him you can stay here." She opened her mouth to protest, but saw my expression and shut it. Good, she wasn't going to argue.

Instead she asked, "Where's your bathroom?" I pointed to the room. "Thanks." She grabbed her bag before going in to change. I thought back to some of my initial observations, now positive she was a runaway. How do I always manage to get myself into these situations?

I would have to find out why she ran away; it was probably best to encourage her to go back home, but she was a little old to be a runaway, so maybe it was serious. I gave myself a headache, thinking about all of this. I was an action kind of guy, most happy when doing something and not good with words.

She came out more quickly than I'd expected. I still hadn't figured out what to say.

Naminé's POV

He looked at me when I reentered the room and asked "So why are you looking for the guy? You're a runaway?" A question I'd dreaded, though, from the way he asked, I could tell he knew the answer already.

My throat dry; I could only nod. I knew he would ask. I was lucky enough the guy was nice enough to let me in his home-- there was no way he wasn't going to ask questions. And he has a right to know. I am staying in his house.

"Why?"

I squirmed, that was the one question I couldn't answer right now.

He seemed to recognize that and changed the subject. "So why were you at that place?"

I knew he meant the café/restaurant place we met. "Cloud works there as a manager… Well… he used to at least… I talked to another employee who said he'd gotten another job offer somewhere else. But no one knows where he's working."

"Well I'm sure they'll find out. And they can call when they do."

"One problem: I don't have a phone."

"I do. Have them call here." Was he serious? No way I could accept… he'd already offered me so much… but maybe he figured that this was the surest way to get rid of me… That was probably it.

"…Sure... if you're okay with it."

"Great. Then on my way to work tomorrow I'll stop by and ask them to let me know if they hear or know anything."

"Okay," I yawned. Taking that as his cue, he turned to leave the room. "Thank you for everything!" I called as he walked away. Pausing, he replied it was no problem, and went into his room.

I lay on the sofa trying to sleep and hoping I wouldn't dream. But I did anyway.

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When I woke up, my sleep deprived state leaving me feeling apprehensive and cranky, I noticed Axel was already gone. He left a note that I quickly read. It said:

Make yourself at home. There's food in the fridge; help yourself. Feel free to use the shower. If you get bored you can watch some TV.
-Axel

I smiled, my bad mood dissipating somewhat. That was nice of him. And I really wanted a shower; my hair was stuck to my scalp from my fitful dreams. I wanted to feel normal so badly, but nothing in my life was normal.

I hesitated before stepping into the shower: Is it okay? But he'd said so and so I did. The warm water against my skin felt delicious, I felt human again. I grabbed the shampoo, momentarily surprised when I wasn't greeted by the smell of citrus or soothing lavender, before I remembered I wasn't home anymore.

I'd left my friends behind… not that I had that many anyway and especially since… I didn't want to think about it. It still felt unreal even though it had been a little over two years now. But I would try to bear it; I couldn't change it and I would bear it on my own.

After I dressed I pulled out my sketchbook; I had to draw. I used red, lots of red, and black, knowing what I had to draw as the images rushed at me. I hugged the sketchpad to me when I finished. I nearly broke down and cried at that moment as all the memories rushed back, good and bad intermingled. I sat the book down, holding back the tears; I had other things to do now, other things to worry about.

I tried to act normally, grabbing something to eat, but I felt all my actions were purely mechanical. I tasted nothing.

I needed to do something before this depression deepened. The phonebook! I hastily grasped it; I'd try and reach Cloud. And maybe I could save Axel some work this way. Picking up the phone, I hastily dialed, waiting for someone to pick up. Please let this be him, I prayed. I heard a voice. "Hello? Um… is this Cloud Strife's residence?" The voice answered no and then I heard a loud click. That was rude. I called all of the numbers: one was disconnected like Axel had said, a few didn't pick up, and those that did pick up were certainly not Cloud.

Depressed, I decided to try to grab a few hours of sleep before Axel got back.

When I woke up Axel was back. Seeing I was finally up, he questioned "You feeling okay kid?" concern evident in his voice.

I forced a smile, "Yeah, I'm fine, just a little tired is all." I rubbed my eyes; I really was a little sleepy.

"Tell you what, go back to sleep and I'll talk to you tomorrow."

I didn't like the sound of that, but felt so exhausted for some reason that I really didn't care. I changed into p.j.'s because I had been sleeping in my jeans and now regretted it, and then collapsed back on the couch.

Axel's POV

Is she sick? This is just great. My day off and I'm going to have to play nurse. But maybe I was being too harsh. I looked over at the girl on the couch and saw something on the floor by her. A sketchbook.

I picked it up, frowning; the picture looked so depressing. It was of a girl who looked younger than Naminé and I wondered briefly who it was. As I went to set the book down, the pages turned, several showing the same girl and the same bleak perspective, the colors dull, the only source of brightness and light was the girl's hair. I glanced at the girl sleeping on the couch. She didn't look like much of a talker. I wondered if I'd find out what was wrong.

I glanced at the sketchbook and saw that the earliest pictures were much happier of people smiling, of beautiful nature scenes, and then, before the midway point, the pictures changed drastically becoming less and less cheery. I wondered what had produced such a change in the girl. Not expecting an answer anytime soon I went to bed.

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When I woke up, I saw her still sleeping. It wasn't that late. Maybe I should stay here… but I had things to do. I decided to just leave a note for her when she gets up.

Naminé's POV

When I woke up, still feeling a little groggy, I couldn't figure out where I was. All I knew was my head throbbed. Someone spoke and I winced, my ears ringing, even though I could tell the voice wasn't particularly loud. The voice spoke again as I felt an arm on my shoulder. "You feeling okay kid?" I weakly shook my head and felt a cool hand on my forehead; it felt so nice that I didn't like when it pulled away. "You're burning up. Lay back down," he commanded and I eagerly complied. "How old are you?"

"Huh?" I managed to squeak out.

"I need to give you some medicine and I need to know what dosage to give you." He explained slowly.

"Seventeen." He handed me some nasty tasting, syrupy stuff that I gagged down. Then I went back to sleep.

Axel's POV

Aw, Shit! This was not good. She felt really warm; couldn't you die if you had a really high fever? I had to make a phone call.

C'mon, c'mon! I thought anxiously as I waited for the phone to pick up. I finally got an answer "Hey can you come over here? And bring your old medical stuff." I hung up before any questions were asked.

Naminé's POV

I woke up for the second time that day. I must be sicker than I thought. I'm seeing double… And indeed I was (seeing double that is); I saw two Axel's talking to each other.

Then I looked again it wasn't two Axel's, but that a second redhead was with him. Shakily sitting up I saw them both looking over at me. "You're up." Axel smiled in relief.

The other man ("Red" I decided to call him for obvious reasons) came over and I backed up, just a little, as he approached, but, seeing Axel's look, I stopped. The man placed a hand on my forehead. After running a few other tests, he said I was running a high fever, but would be fine. He asked a few questions, like my name and all, to see how lucid I was, conferred quietly and very briefly with Axel, and then left.

"Who was that?"

"My cousin, Reno."

"Um… why was he over here, and what did he mean 'I'm fine'? Of course I'm fine; I just have a cold or something."

"You had a high fever, so I called him over. He used to work for a military group. He doesn't talk about it much, but he picked up a lot of skills on the job."

"Oh, okay." Does this mean he spent the whole day looking after me? How am I always such a pest to those around me? It was his day off; he should get to enjoy it. "D-do you wanna watch TV or a movie or something?" I stuttered nervously. Why am I nervous? Must be because I feel so bad about everything.

He agreed and sat down on the couch; I kept stealing glances at him, because he seemed so… distracted. Is everything okay? I could clearly read both the confusion and frustration in his eyes, but there was something else too. It wasn't anger, for which I was grateful.

Axel's POV

I am never going to hear the end of it from Reno; I inwardly seethed, already knowing that he would have a field day with this. I'd freaked out that badly just because she was running a fever. Am I going soft? Shit what is happening to me?

Because what I had told the girl was the truth, just not all of it, a lie by omissions if you will.

I still needed to forget so many things, but Reno had moved on. One thing hasn't changed though: he's still an ass.

Looking at the girl sitting next to me, I noticed she looked a little drowsy. "Hey kid?" She looked at me through half-lidded eyes. "Why don't you change into something more comfortable? I'll tell you anything you miss." She nodded sleepily stumbling towards the bathroom. I desperately hoped she wouldn't pass out in there. Peering at the clock I could barely make out the numbers in the dim light; it was barely even eight. She was this tired when she'd been sleeping all day?

She plodded back in, rubbing her eyes as she plopped down on the couch. She nodded off as we watched TV, leaning against me. I frowned, uncomfortable, but unwilling to push away the sick girl. After fifteen minutes I glanced at the slight blond again, only to notice her frowning in her sleep, looking sad and a little scared. Then she started whimpering and talking in her sleep. Is she having a nightmare? I shook her awake. "C'mon wake up, you okay?"

Her eyes quickly lost their sleepy haze as they focused on mine. "I…I dreamed I saw my sister again," she whispered, clutching her legs tightly to her chest.

I didn't know what to say to that--what was so worrying about that? "So what's wrong?"

But I didn't have to wonder because she choked out a response. "My sister… she's dead. She's been dead for over two years now."

Namine's POV

I swallowed hard as the tears came; her death had been too sudden. And it was Kairi… I'd never even had such thoughts; the possibility had never even crossed my mind. Kairi was too happy, too healthy to die. Too cheerful. Too loved. And she'd seemed better! So what happened?

Axel's POV

Great. I made her cry. I felt like such a moron. A part of me argued how was I supposed to know? But it didn't change anything. I had no idea how to handle this. "I'm sorry I said anything."

She sniffed, "You didn't know. How could you?" She started crying harder and I panicked, searching my head for anything and remembering some words of advice… something about women wanting a shoulder to cry on… or something.

So I slowly went over to her, putting an arm around her hesitantly and slowly, but she clung to me, sobbing into my shoulder. What the hell should I do? I did not know what to do with some grieving teenage girl. I desperately wanted to get out of there; I was not one who liked being in these situations. Hell, I avoided them.

But fortunately she didn't seem to want me to do anything besides just be there. But I could understand; I'd lost someone too…

"I hate it! My last memory of her is when she was in the hospital, all these tubes running through her. God it was so, so horrible. Why'd it have to be her? Why not me?"

Now I was really screwed; I didn't have any idea what to say, I never was one for words. My arm was still around her, so I impulsively pulled her in closer to me, holding her, though a moment later I regretted it, expecting a slap. But she didn't slap me (for which I was grateful) and she seemed comforted. Her sobs quieted and she began drying her tears. "I'm sorry," she croaked. Now I was confused: Sorry for what?

But she was so tired and weakened by all that crying that she just collapsed and then fell asleep, again. I started carrying her to the other couch, but ended up letting her sleep on the bed instead; I could take the couch for one night. I gently placed her on it and covered her up with the blankets, thankful she had already changed into her pj's.

I remained up for another hour or two checking in on her sporadically to make sure she didn't have another nightmare. Hysterics and sickness was a bad combination.

Naminé's POV

I woke up and looked at the clock 11:00. I double checked it; sure enough that's what it read. I never slept later than 10:00 tops, at least not until now. I rubbed my eyes and felt tears on my face. When was I crying?

Then I remembered and groaned. I'd broken down in front of pretty much a complete stranger. But no, Axel didn't seem like a stranger, not anymore.

I felt better this morning, the fever had left. But now I might have to face his pity.

I slowly got up and heard him moving around in the kitchen. "Come here." He beckoned and I obediently walked over. He placed a large palm on my forehead "Your fever's broken."

"That's good. Wait… wasn't yesterday your day off? Why are you still here?"

"I took off." He answered calmly. I felt like dirt: not only did he lose his day off 'cause of me, but now he had to take off work too.

"I'll cook." I decided suddenly. "I have to do something to earn my keep, so I don't feel useless. And that's the best way. So what do you want?" I made my voice decisive; I was going to win this one point at least.

Axel's POV

I smirked at her, five foot nothing and trying to look and sound intimidating; it was quite a sight. She stood on her toes, as if that would somehow dramatically change the height difference between us, and stood rigid, shoulders back, her eyes staring directly into mine. This was the most serious I'd ever seen her.

I decided to ruin the moment. "Can you cook?"

Her sapphire eyes now blazing with indignation, she shouted, "Yes I can cook! I can cook a lot. I had to cook for my family all the time!" She stamped her foot, only reminding me of a spoiled brat or some cartoon. I bit back a chuckle, half expecting her to childishly stick out her tongue, but, to my dismay, she did not. It was fun teasing her like this, and certainly better than those sad eyes I'd seen before, but I didn't want this to escalate.

"I believe you. I was just teasing." I offered, holding my hands out in mock surrender.

"Oh, sorry." Her eyes looked downcast again, something I didn't want to see.

"Hey, I'd rather have you mad at me than looking like that, okay?"

She tried forcing a grin and I didn't like that either. "What are you going to make then?" I asked, changing the subject.

"I don't know; I need to see what you have. What do you like?"

"Food. I'm not picky."

"A real answer," she sighed in exasperation.

I smirked amusedly: she was so serious, so easy to tease and I wasn't about to pass up any opportunities to annoy her. I finally decided that was enough for now and responded: "Meat. I like anything with meat."

"See? Was that so hard?" She rummaged through the fridge and cabinets, pulling out various items. "Oh and do you usually pack or buy a lunch for work?"

"Buy."

Naminé's POV

Hmm. That would change my plans. "Oh. I'll make dinners then." I decided.

"Why?"

Well let's see. I'm only living in your house, eating your food, using your water, and just mooching in general. I'm not some parasite! I need some way to feel like I'm useful. But, of course, I couldn't say that so I settled for: "I want to help out, you know, like pay my way or something. It's the least I can do."

He paused for a moment, acting seriously, before nodding. I felt so relieved. I didn't really mind his teasing either, but if I let him know that there would be no end to it. But that was hardly my main concern: I was just grateful I hadn't become the object of his pity; he was letting me do something, and I could feel like less of a burden. I decided as soon as I found Cloud I would get a job and try to repay this man. Because I didn't think there was any way I could ever hope to repay him for everything, but I could try.

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A/N: reviews make the story go faster. got it memorized? (where did that come from?) o.O

I'm putting another story on hold so i can focus on my 2 favorite stories of the moment.

please vote in my poll and if you like this fic check out my other ones.

I'm combining chapters now so if you had reviewed a later chapter so you can't review my newly edited version you can always send me a pm. 'kay?