HOLY SHIT!!! 16 REVIEWS :D:D:D:D:D:D:D YOU PEOPLE ROCK MY SOCKS AND ELECTRIC TOOTH BRUSH!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!! And so, Luna is here to present, YOUR FAVORITE POTIONS MASTER...

Slughorn: Hiya!!

Luna: (Shoves him out of the chapter) SNAPEY!!!

Snape: Don't call me that.

Luna: Sevy?

Snape: No.

Luna: Sexy Sevy?

Snape: I don't like where you're going with this...

Luna: Super Sexy Sevy?

Snape: NO!!!!

Luna: Sevy?

Snape: N- Fine. It's better than the others...

Luna: So Snapey, welcome to the 7th chapter (besides the prank one) of ways to annoy you. You know why your here, right?

Snape: Because you threatened me with fans?

Luna: That, and because I told the reviewers I would. I have some questions for you, and you have to answer them all.

Snape: I hate you.

Luna: First question: Tell me, how do you feel about this?

Snape: I hate it.

Luna: No really...

Snape: Yes really. I loathe it with a burning passion. Almost more than Potter.

Luna: (Low Whistle) Wow... Thats a lot. (Pause) I"M SO HONORED!!!! (Gives Snapey a big hug)

Snape: (Sputters) What the!! OFF DEMON GIRL!!! (Shakes Luna off)

Luna: So Snapey, which is your favorite "Way."

Snapy: Sigh... Do I have to pick??

Luna: Remember the fans...

Snape: Probably the ones that cause me the least amount of pain. Happy?

Luna: Which one do you hate the most?

Snape: All.

Luna: The fans...

Snape: No, thats the real answer.

Luna: Fine... And that ends our first Q & A session with Super Sexy Sevy!!!!

Snape: HEY!! STOP CALLING ME THAT!!!! I'M LEAVING!!!

Luna: Will you stay if you can do the disclaimer?

Snape: Fine...

Snape: Disclaimer: Luna doesn't own HP. Or Snape. THANK GOD!!!!!!

Luna: Thats enough Snapey... Here's the next 100!!

Hex him into telling everyone he's a girl

Create credit cards with his name and address

…Over use them

…Make sure to buy really embarrassing stuff

…I.e. lacy woman's underwear

…Condoms

…Viagra

…Self Help Books

…And drugs

Make sure the muggle police arrest him at his house

Make sure it gets in the paper before Dumbledore can obliviate everyone's memories

…Blame Draco

Send him howlers from Lord Voldemort

…During class

…And meals

…Reporting when the next meeting is

…And how great a Death Eater Snape is

Propose to him during class

…Often

Cry when he says no

Trick him into saying yes

Make wedding plans

Invite the Death Eater

When asked about this, say: "Why shouldn't I invite his friends from work?"

Get Trelawny to follow him around and predict how he will die

Remind him on how James saved his life

Tell him to go see a therapist

Recommend Harry

Or Sirius

Or Draco

Or Dumbledore

Or yourself

Set him up in a really old fashion room with the cushion and everything

Speak in a Freudian accent

Ask him about his mother

Ask him if he wants a sex change operation

…Often

Recommend places to do it

…Loudly

Set up appointments for him

Buy him estrogen

…Illegally

…And have it send to him in the great hall

Drug him and send him to the appointments

Watch results with glee

Ask him what an orgasm is

Ask him what masturbation is

…Loudly

Ask him what sex feels like

…Loudly

When he yells at you, say: "So you've never had sex?"

Ask him if he knows what a condom is

If he says yes, ask for a definition

If he says no, laugh at him

If he actually gives you a definition, tell him he's wrong

If he refuses to give you a definition, tell him he's a wuss who probably doesn't even know what the opposite sex is

If he yells at you for asking in the first place, cry loudly

…Make sure a teacher is watching

…Or listening

…And cry: "HE HIT ME!!!"

Yawn loudly in class

…Loudly

…Especially when he is yelling at other students

…Or yourself

Skip around him asking: "Are you a bunny?"

Without waiting for him to respond, say: "You're a vampire bunny!!!"

Call him a vampire bunny whenever you pass him in the hall

…Loudly

Come to his office and tell him that Dumbledore says that he's the new school guidance counselor

Then start crying about your unrequited love for a guy with greasy hair

Pause for effect and stare at his head

But he's a lot older than you and you don't think he'll ever think of you

Sigh

See if he gets the hint

Talk to him about your period

Tell him it's your "time of month"

…And you don't have any pads and you don't know what to do

Sob

Then suddenly mood swing

Tell him you need chocolate NOW!

Then go back to normal

Talk to him about your boyfriend

Tell him he doesn't appreciate you for who you are and you feel like you can't ever relate to them anymore

Tell him you want a smart, older guy who's not afraid of his feelings

Then bat your eyes at him

Wait for a response

Fall asleep in class

…Often

If he ever uses Occlumency on you, say: "Sevy, are you trying to watch my sexual fantasies with Harry?"

…Or Draco

…Or anyone else

Or say: "Sevy, if you want to know which type of flowers I prefer, you can just ask! "

…Or type of chocolate

…Or ways to please me in bed

Or yell, especially when there is another teacher around: "SEVY!! STOP RAPING MY MIND!!!!"

…Or just do any of those when he isn't doing anything

Throw shoes at him when he speaks

…In the hallways

…Or in the Great Hall

…Or while he's sleeping

Snape: I really hate you...

Luna: I know!! Now, if everyone reviews again, then Snape MIGHT come back. If I can hold him for that long...

So thanks to everyone whom I'm to lazy to go and type out. You all ROCK!!!! Review again please!!!!

Luv,

Luna who is holding on to Snape for you