A/N: Again, patches of this chapter are direct quotes from the book. Pages 728-736 and pages 743-744 of chapter thirty six in the Deathly Hallows, therefore they do not belong to me but to JKR.

Chapter 9/Realizations and Resolutions

Thus followed the longest hour of my life. For the sake of something to do, Fleur began helping tend to the wounded. Bill stared down at Fred for a moment longer before following her. Mr. Weasley led Mrs. Weasley a few steps away and began speaking to her in soft tones. Charlie whispered in my ear that he was going to go check on some of the other students and when he stood he turned to Percy and grasped his arm. The young man jumped slightly underneath his older brother's hand.

I watched mutely as Charlie whispered something to Percy. Percy blinked a few times then followed Charlie across the Hall. Ginny, Hermione, and Ron began to speak together; Ron had his arm around Ginny and was holding Hermione's hand tightly. I turned my attention back to the two hands I held. I glanced over at George. He seemed to be in a sort of trance. I slid my hand out of his and spread Fred's limp fingers across my palm.

I moved closer to his body, staring down into his face. I reached over and smoothed his hair across his forehead, gently closing his eyes as they had still been still staring, unseeing, up at the ceiling. Returning to the hand that I held, I gently kissed each knuckle reverently, the ache in my chest still burning like a forest fire. Bringing his hand up to my face, I rested it against my cheek, tears falling from my closed eyes as I took a deep, shuddering breath. When I opened my eyes again, George was watching me.

"He loved you, you know," he said in a strangled voice.

I laid Fred's hand down on the ground. Reaching over I took his wand hand, still clutching the slender piece of wood, and placed it across his chest, with the want pointing up towards his shoulder. I then sat back on my heels, staring at Fred's still face, his mouth still curled in the exhilarated laugh he was displaying moments before the wall had exploded.

"What was his Patronus?" I asked, my voice hoarse.

"It was a fox . . . like mine. . . ."

"Oh," I said, sitting down hard on the floor. So George was wrong, unless . . . I looked up when I realized he was still talking.

"Before it changed."

I frowned slightly, my heart fluttering in my chest. "What did it change to?"

George hesitated. He looked away and stared into his twin's face. Extending a finger he traced Fred's ear. I couldn't help seeing the dark hole that covered the left part of George's head. I repeated my question cautiously.

"George, what did it change to?"

George sighed and looked up at me. Brown eyes met my pale green ones and his mouth twitched sadly.

"A unicorn."

Air left my lungs in a whoosh and I suddenly felt weak. Covering my mouth with my hand I stifled a sob. Oh Fred, Fred! Was that what you were trying to tell me last year when you Apparated into the hotel room? Is that what the tender looks meant and the lectures about Malfoy? Oh why, why didn't you tell me sooner?

Tears fell down more rapidly as I realized that I would not have listened before. I would have dismissed him in my blindness. By not forcing himself on me, Fred shown me the kind of love that I had longed for in Cedric, and which I lacked in Malfoy. He had given me a glimpse of a relationship that held respect, compassion, and genuine love. I realized with another sob that if only he had lived, I could have married him instead of Malfoy. I would have married him instead.

George looked slightly uncomfortable and I wondered if he thought I thought my loss was larger than his. I wanted to tell him that wasn't true but I could not move. I could only sit there and tremble. After a while George left his spot at Fred's head and came around his twin to sit by me and gather me up in his arms. I wet the front of George's shirt with my tears but I don't think he minded. My hair was soon damp with his own tears. I didn't mind either.

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"Harry Potter is dead. He was killed as he ran away, trying to save himself while you lay down your lives for him. We bring you his body as proof that your hero is gone."

I could not believe it. I would not believe it. First Fred and Tonks and Lupin, now Harry? I found myself shaking my head as my instincts told me it was not true. Voldemort was lying, just like he always did.

"The battle is won. You have lost half of your fighters. My Death Eaters outnumber you, and the Boy Who Lived is finished. There must be no more war. Anyone who continues to resist, man, woman, or child, will be slaughtered, as will every member of their family. Come out of the castle now, kneel before me, and you shall be spared. You're parents and children, your brothers and sisters will live and be forgiven, and you will join me in the new world we shall build together."

I could not speak. He sounded so genuine. What if he was telling the truth? I found myself moving forward, Neville, Luna, and Seamus suddenly at my side. It could not be true. It must not be true!

Then we stepped outside and the first person I laid eyes on was Hagrid. He was holding something. A body. I clapped my hand to my mouth in horror and shock. We were close enough to see now. Messy hair, glasses, the lightning bolt scar that showed just beneath a dark lock. . . .

"NO!"

I jumped in shock. I had never heard Professor McGonagall scream like that before. Openmouthed I stared at her, my eyes not believing, my ears trying to block out the screams and cries of those around me.

"No!"

"No!"

"Harry! HARRY!"

Ron, Hermione, and Ginny. I could recognize their voices anywhere. I looked around for them but in the press of people around me I could not locate them. Their cries acted like a trigger; the crowd of survivors around me took up the cause, screaming and yelling abuse at the Death Eaters, until—

"SILENCE!" cried Voldemort, and there was a bang and a flash of bright light, and silence was forced on us all. "It is over! Set him down, Hagrid, at my feet, where he belongs!"

I watched, mute, as the gentle half-giant, with tears streaming down his large face, placed Harry down on the grass below Voldemort. A giant snake slithered over to Voldemort's side and I shuddered with revulsion at the sight of it.

"You see?" said Voldemort, striding backward and forward right beside the place where Harry lay. "Harry Potter is dead! Do you understand now, deluded ones? He was nothing, ever, but a boy who relied on others to sacrifice themselves for him!"

I thought instantly of Fred but then berated myself for being so weak. None of that was true.

"He beat you!" yelled Ron, and the charm broke, and the defenders of Hogwarts, myself included, were shouting and screaming again until a second, more powerful bang extinguished our voices once more.

"He was killed while trying to sneak out of the castle grounds," said Voldemort, and there was relish in his voice, "killed while trying to save himself—"

But Voldemort broke off: I heard a scuffle and a shout, then another bang, a flash of light, and a grunt of pain; I looked around for the source of the noise. Someone had broken free of the crowd and charged at Voldemort: I saw the figure hit the ground, Disarmed, Voldemort throwing the challenger's wand aside and laughing. I recognized the figure and groaned slightly, reaching out my hand to where Neville had been standing beside me. My fingers touched no one.

"And who is this?" Voldemort said in his soft snake's hiss. "Who has volunteered to demonstrate what happens to those who continue to fight when the battle is lost?"

Bellatrix Lestrange gave a delighted laugh. I cringed.

"It is Neville Longbottom, my Lord! The boy who has been giving the Carrows so much trouble! The son of the Aurors, remember?"

"Ah, yes, I remember," said Voldemort, looking down at Neville, who was struggling back to his feet, unarmed and unprotected, standing in the no-man's-land between us survivors and the Death Eaters. "But you are pureblood, aren't you, my brave boy?" Voldemort asked Neville, who stood facing him, his empty hands curled into fists.

"So what if I am?" said Neville loudly. I could've kissed him.

"You show spirit and bravery, and you come of noble stock. You will make a very valuable Death Eater. We need your kind, Neville Longbottom.

"I'll join you when hell freezes over," said Neville. "Dumbledore's Army!" he shouted, and there was an answering cheer from us who stood facing the Death Eaters, whom Voldemort's Silencing Charms seemed unable to hold. I cheered at the top of my voice.

"Very well," said Voldemort, and I heard more danger in the silkiness of his voice than in the most powerful curse. I shivered. "If that is your choice, Longbottom, we revert to the original plan. You're you head," he said quietly, "be it."

Voldemort waved his wand. Seconds later, out of one of the castle's shattered windows, something that looked like a misshapen bird flew through the half light and landed in Voldemort's hand. He shook the mildewed object by its pointed end and it dangled, empty and ragged: the Sorting Hat.

"There will be no more Sorting at Hogwarts School," said Voldemort. "There will be no more Houses. The emblem, shield, and colors of my noble ancestor, Salazar Slytherin, will suffice for everyone. Won't they, Neville Longbottom?"

He pointed his wand at Neville, who grew rigid and still, then forced the hat onto Neville's head, so that it slipped down below his eyes. I moved forward along with others in the watching crowd, and as one, the Death Eaters raised their wands, holding us fighters of Hogwarts at bay. I ground my teeth in frustration.

"Neville here is now going to demonstrate what happens to anyone foolish enough to continue to oppose me," said Voldemort, and with a flick of his wand, he caused to Sorting Hat to burst into flames.

My screams mingled with Neville's and I could only stare in horror, and Neville was aflame, rooted to the spot, unable to move.

And then many things happened at the same moment.

We heard uproar from the distant boundary of the school as what sounded like hundreds of people came swarming over the out-of-sight walls and pelted towards the castle, uttering loud war cries. Then came the hooves and the twangs of bows, and arrows were suddenly falling amongst the Death Eaters, who broke ranks, shouting their surprise.

I looked over at Neville, ready to run and help him, but in own swift, fluid motion, Neville broke free of the Body-Bind Curse upon him; the flaming hat fell off him and he drew from its depths something silver, with a glittering, rubied handle—

The slash of the silver blade could not be heard over the roar of the oncoming crowd, or of the stampeding centaurs, and yet it seemed to draw every eye. With a single stroke Neville sliced of the great snake's head, which spun high into the air, gleaming in the light flooding from the entrance hall, and Voldemort's mouth was open in a scream of fury that nobody could hear, and the snake's body thudded to the ground at his feet—

In the sudden confusion that followed, I could hear Hagrid's yell traveling over the rest of the noise.

"HARRY!" Hagrid shouted. "HARRY—WHERE'S HARRY?"

Chaos reigned. I whipped out my wand and rejoined the fight. Nearer and nearer thundered the reinforcements that had come from who knew where; I saw great winged creatures soaring around the heads of Voldemort's giants, thestrals, and Buckbeak the hippogriff whom I recognized from my fourth year.

I was buffeted into the entrance hall where new faces were swarming in from everywhere. I saw house-elves and one who had a locket around its neck called out in a bullfrog voice: "Fight! Fight! Fight for my Master, defender of house-elves! Fight the Dark Lord in the name of brave Regulus! Fight!"

I didn't know who Regulus was, but I didn't care. They were hacking and stabbing at the ankles and shins of Death Eaters, their tiny faces alive with malice, and everywhere I looked Death Eaters were folding under the sheer weight of numbers, overcome by spells, dragging arrows from wounds, stabbed in the leg by elves, or else attempting to escape but swallowed by the oncoming horde.

As I fought I saw that Voldemort was in the center of the battle and was striking and smiting all within reach. I saw one Death Eater be slammed to the floor by George and Lee Jordan, saw another one fall with a scream at Professor Flitwick's hands. I saw Ron and Neville bringing down Fenrir Greyback, Aberforth Stunning Rookwood, Arthur Weasley and Percy flooring Thicknesse, and Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy running through the crowd, not even attempting to fight, screaming for their son.

Voldemort was now dueling McGonagall, Slughorn, and Kingsley all at once, and there was cold hatred in his face as they wove and ducked around him, unable to finish him—

Bellatrix was still fighting too, fifty yards away from Voldemort, and like her master, she dueled three at once: Hermione, Ginny, and Luna, all battling their hardest, but Bellatrix was equal to them and a Killing Curse was shot so close to Ginny that she missed death by an inch—

I moved forward but Mrs. Weasley got there first, I was jostled and fell but I could hear her screaming bloody murder and cursing at Bellatrix. I struggled to my feet and saw Bellatrix roaring with laughter at the sight of her new challenger. I ran to help her as they began dueling but Mrs. Weasley wouldn't let me.

"No!" she cried as other students ran forward, trying to come to her aid. "Get back! Get back! She is mine!"

Hundreds of people now lined the walls, watching the two fights, Voldemort and his three opponents, and Bellatrix and Molly Weasley.

"What will happen to your children when I've killed you?" taunted Bellatrix, as made as her master, capering as Molly's curses danced around her. "When Mummy's gone the same way as Freddie?"

Anger burned inside of me. How dare she speak of Fred like that! She was not worthy to speak is name, especially not in a manner such as that! I moved forward but someone grabbed my arm and jerked me back. I stumbled against several people and fell to the floor, knocking my head hard against the stone. Everything went black.

When I awakened my mouth dropped open with surprise. Harry and Voldemort were circling each other, each with a tight grip on their wands. I shook my head to clear it. Looking around I saw the still, dead body of Bellatrix Lestrange, and I smiled grimly. Seamus knelt beside me.

"Are you alright? I didn't mean to jerk you back so hard, but you were going to kill yourself trying to get at Bellatrix."

I waved him away absently, my gaze fixed on Harry. Seamus didn't leave but he shut his mouth and was soon watching the two opponents as intensely as I was. Harry was speaking in a low tone, normally we wouldn't be able to hear him, but everyone was so quiet you could have heard a feather drop.

"So it all comes down to this, doesn't it?" whispered Harry. "Does the wand in your hand know its last master was Disarmed? Because if it does . . . I am the true master of the Elder Wand."

A red-gold glow burst suddenly across the enchanted sky above us as an edge of dazzling sun appeared over the sill of the nearest window. The light hit both of their faces at the same time, so that Voldemort's was suddenly a flaming blur. I heard the high voice shriek as Harry too yelled his best hope to the heavens, pointing his wand:

"Avada Kedavra!"

"Expelliarmus!"

The bang was like a cannon blast, and while I flinched, the golden flames that had erupted between them, at the dead center of the circle they had been treading, marked the point where the spells collided. I saw Voldemort's green jet meet Harry's own spell, saw Voldemort's wand fly high, dark against the sunrise, spinning across the enchanted ceiling like the head of the snake, spinning through the air towards Harry.

And Harry, with the unerring skill of the Seeker, caught the wand in his free hand as Voldemort fell backward, arms splayed, the slit pupils of the scarlet eyes rolling upward. Voldemort was dead, killed by his own rebounding curse, and Harry stood with two wands in his hand, staring down at his enemy's empty shell.

It was finished.

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I was exhausted. I was dirty with blood, dust, and sweat. My hair was tangled and looked muddy brown instead of the caramel color it was supposed to be. So, the battle was over. Harry was not dead and he had defeated Voldemort. It was all very fine and dandy, but would that bring Lupin back? Or Tonks? Would that bring my Fred back? I lay down on my back beside Fred's body, unable to hold myself up any longer. It seemed like years since I last sat here, holding George holding me.

I turned onto my side, staring at Fred's still profile. I don't think he ever looked more handsome then at that moment. I reached out and ran my fingers through his flaming red hair. Moving closer I wrapped my arm around his chest and closed my eyes. My exhaustion took over my senses and I fell asleep.

When I opened my eyes I was lying on a bed in the hospital wing. I was all alone besides the injured students who lay in their respective beds. I sat up slowly. I felt something encircling my head and when I reached up, my fingers brushed against the rough cloth of a bandage. I wondered vaguely who had brought me here but I did not dwell on it.

Swinging my legs over the edge of the bed, I stood and made my way out of the wing. I was still dressed in the clothes I had worn for the battle, but someone had cleaned them. I was grateful.

I arrived at the Great Hall and just stood for a moment, watching students eat and talk and revel in each other's company. Then I saw him. He was sitting in between his two parents and all three of them looked lost and disorientated and a little uncomfortable, as if they felt like they should not have been here. I took a deep breath and made my way over to them, my mind made up on what I had to do.

"Malfoy," I said once I had reached him. He looked up at me in surprise, his grey eyes traveling from my eyes to the bandage and then back again.

"Barry?"

"We need to talk."

He took one look into my serious face and nodded. Unfolding himself from the table, he followed me out of the Hall and into a deserted hallway. I stood still for a moment, recognizing this place well. Looking over at the destroyed statue that used to cover a secret passageway, I smiled slightly at the memory of Fred's lips covering mine. That image gave me strength to look into Draco's expectant face. I gave a small sigh.

"Draco, I'm going to ask you a question, and it's going to sound really stupid and irrelevant, but believe me when I say it's extremely important."

"What are you getting at?" He looked confused.

I took a deep breath. "Will you conjure your Patronus for me?"

He started in surprise and then looked down at his hands. "I don't have a wand."

I held out mine, my hand shaking slightly. He took it slowly. He looked at me for a long moment before saying loudly, "Expecto Patronum!" My heart leapt to my throat and then dropped down to my stomach. The silver shape that came out from my wand was not entirely corporal, but I could it was small and furry. It was clearly not a unicorn. Tears pricked the corner of my eyes as I held my hand out for the wand. Draco laid it in my palm carefully, his eyes searching my face for an explanation.

"Draco . . ." I didn't know how to say it. For so long I had thought that Cedric was right, that me and Malfoy were meant for each other and our fights were just us being in denial. For so long I had had a false picture of love stamped in my head by Malfoy. Fred had showed me the true picture.

I started again. "Draco, I'm sorry, but I can't marry you."

His face froze and his body grew rigid. "What?" He asked in a strangled voice. I couldn't tell if it sounded that way because it was angry or simply upset.

I shook my head. "I'm sorry." I turned and began walking away. Malfoy grabbed my arm.

"At least tell me why!" He cried softly, his pale face seeming to grow paler.

I actually found myself feeling sorry for him. He had just gone through an immensely traumatic year and now I was dumping him. I reached up and lightly touched his gaunt cheek with my fingertips.

"We're too young, we argue too much, and we don't love each other in a way that will last throughout a marriage. Marriage is for life, Draco. Could we really stand each other for that long?"

Before he could answer I reached up and briefly kissed the side of his mouth that always went up first in that smirk I had detested so much during the years that I had known him. Pulling away I found I had tears in my eyes as I whispered a final, "Goodbye." Turning, I walked away, leaving Malfoy standing as still as a statue in the middle of the hallway.

The second time I entered the Great Hall, Cho intercepted me on my way to find Ginny. I didn't really want to talk to Cho, but since she had been my best friend during my last year at Hogwarts, I stopped and waited for her to speak.

She hugged me tightly. "I'm so sorry about Fred," she said. She pulled away. "I knew you and the twins were close."

She had no idea. I forced a weary smile. "Thank you, Cho. I'm sorry, but I'm really tired and . . ."

She nodded. "I understand." Giving me another hug she left me and I continued towards Ginny. She gave me a smile that matched mine. I sat down beside her and rested my head on her shoulder.

"I broke off our engagement," I didn't need to explain who I was talking about. Ginny patted my head comfortingly.

"It was probably for the best," she said softly.

"I suppose." It had still hurt though. I was aching all over. Ginny shifted and I straightened. She turned to look at me, I noticed her eyes were as red as her hair and her face was blotchy. I was sure I looked the same.

"You should go get some rest. Go to the Burrow."

"I don't think I can make it on my own," I said, passing a hand over my eyes with a sigh.

She smiled slightly. "I can help with that."

She made some sort of wave with her hands but I could barely see it. My eyes were bleary and all I wanted to do was sleep. I felt strong arms lift me up and hold me tightly. I buried my face into whoever's chest it was and then I felt the familiar tug behind my navel that meant we were Apparating.

I vaguely remember being laid out on a bed and covers being tucked under my chin. A rough hand smoothed my hair away from my face, and I felt chapped and blistered lips kiss my forehead. Then everything faded away.

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When I awoke to find myself in a strange room I panicked for a moment. Then I realized I was in Ginny's room at the Burrow. I rubbed my forehead wearily, every muscle of mine aching. The fight last night and this morning had really worn me out. I frowned slightly. Had it really been just yesterday that we fought Voldemort's army? Had it really been just this morning when Harry defeated Voldemort for the last time? It still seemed unreal.

I got out of Ginny's bed and walked over to the closet. Flinging it open I started laughing harshly. There were my clothes, perfectly lined up just as if I had put them there yesterday. Had it really been a year since I last wore my own clothes? I quickly got changed into something comfortable and sighed with satisfaction, swinging my arms around in exhilaration of wearing clothes that fit me and were familiar to me.

Feeling much better in jeans and sleeveless shirt, I made my way down the stairs. I made my way into the kitchen and poured myself a cup of orange juice. I drank thirstily, having not had anything to eat or drink since before the battle. I made my way to the sitting room. I was about to sit down when a deep voice rumbled from the corner of the room.

"Good morning Sleeping Beauty. Or should I say, good afternoon?"

I jumped with a small shriek, whirling quickly and whipping out my wand to point at whoever was lurking in the corner. Charlie Weasley stood from where he had been sitting in an armchair, grinning broadly. I sighed in relief and stuck my wand back into my pocket.

"Blimey, Charlie, give me heart failure why don't you?"

He just kept grinning. "How did you sleep?"

"Like a rock, is there anything to eat around here? And where are the others?"

"There's food in the kitchen."

I mentally kicked myself for my stupidity. Of course there was food in the kitchen. I must have hit my head harder than I thought. I turned and walked back into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator. Charlie kept talking.

"And the others are still at Hogwarts. Ginny saw that you were basically sleeping on your feet so she asked me to bring you here. Toss me some of that bread."

I threw two slices at him and then turned to making my sandwich. Slapping a slice of meat between cheese and two slices of bread, I bit into my dinner hungrily. Charlie watched in amusement.

"Wow. You eat worse than Bill during full moon."

I tried to make a face but my mouth was too full of food. Gulping down the rest of the orange juice (which had miraculously been saved from falling during my pseudo-heart attack), I finished off my meal and sighed contentedly.

"When can I see the rest family again?" I asked.

Charlie's smile faded, his face suddenly looked old and tired. He rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, Mum's sure going to want you at the burial . . ."

I stared at him openmouthed. "Burial? What burial?"

Charlie looked stunned and at a loss for words. Then I remembered. Fred was dead. I could feel my face crumple, but before I could start crying again, Charlie was right there with his arms around me.

"Shh, it's okay, we're going to get through this. Don't fall apart on me now, you were doing great. George is going to need you to comfort him. Be strong, be strong for George."

I took a shuddering breath and tried to gather myself together, resting my head against Charlie's firm chest, my ear just above his heart. I smiled faintly when I heard the steady beat. Charlie rocked me back and forth for a few moments before I felt ready to pull away. I gave him a watery smile.

"You're the best Charlie," I said.

"Yeah well, it comes with being a Weasley I guess."

He couldn't have been more right with that statement.

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