Stuart leaped back onto the seat saying " So what did you do before this?" James sighed with nostalgia, saying "Oh in the sixties I was fighting the bloody Communists, and everything else.. relgious extremeists, Neo-Nazis, terrorists and just about everything else." raised an eyebrow saying " Neo-Nazis huh, a bunch of them tried to march through Harlem and tried to block the theatre. The police were lucky to get there in time to keep them from getting hanged from the street lights."
"I wonder why they keep that old cougar working." Stuart thought to himself as the car sped towards Deadwood, West Virginia. Soon they blazed past the sign and into the town. It looked like it was put up and then forgotten, the buildings looked as if termites were trying to break them down to their original forms. Trailer trash and all sorts of people came out of their little shanties and trailers. A woman with wrinkles deeper than the Grand Canyon and teeth to match tried to look fancy as the limo drove by. " West Virginia does have the worst tooth decay rate in The U.S." Stuart said as he tried not to laugh at all the people.
Soon they heard Charles, their driver said "Im going to have to fill her up with gas again Sir." The limo pulled into a gas station that had the S-MART logo on its roof. The man that came up from a 100 year-old lawn chair had a crusty beard, a fat belly and crushed a beer can in his hand and tossed it to the ground as he walked up to the limo. " So what you want?" he said with a thick drawl. " Fifty bucks of unleaded." Charles said. The gas station was also the convenience store for the entire town and a little old black woman started up towards the store. The man suddenly boiled with racism and he said " What you doin' he'uh nigguh?" The woman gave him a fiery stare and said "Im doing my shopping if you dont mind ya little hick." The man put the pump into the limos gas tank and said " You watch yo' step nigguh or ill lynch ya like yo' ancesta'."
He started to approach the woman. James and Stuart nodded at each other and started to step from the car when a man in a blue plaid shirt, canvas pants, and a metal hand. "Hey Cletus." the man said as he walked toward the pump with a determined step. Cletus turned to him saying " Why you gotta get inta my buisness?" He glared at him saying " I think that you trying to bully that poor woman into your control is just plain fucking wrong." Cletus started to look apprihensive as the man started to close in on him. Cletus tried to turn and run but the man grabbed his neck with his metal hand and turned him towards the woman.
"Aplogise to this woman Cletus." Cletus tried to kick him saying " No flippin-," the man turned up the grip on his hand making Cletus yelp with pain. " Im sorry Ms. Ronelly! Please Ash just let me go!" Ash let go of the man just as James and Stuart started to walk over.
" Dont worry Sir he wont bother her again." He turned to Ms. Ronelly saying " If he ever upsets you again you can tell me." Ms. Ronelly thanked him and walked into the store. James looked at him saying " Are you Ashley J. Williams?" Ash got reluctant but nodded saying, " Yeah whos intrested?" " Oh The U.N and United States Government." Ash looked around and then down to the source of voice. Stuart grined and said, " Allow me to introduce myself, Im Agent Stuart Little." Ash tried not to crack up laughing when James chimed in " Im Bond, James Bond. If you can step into our limo we will explain everything." Ash shook his head and said " We can go back to my place and you can explain there." James and Stuart nodded at each other and followed Ash to his trailer. " Mind if I hitch a ride?" Stuart said to James as he tried to keep up. James shrugged and held down his hand. Stuart leapt onto his cuff and scurried up onto his shoulder.
They walked into Ashes trailer and sat down in a seat as Ash poured them lemonade from a pitcher. " So...what are you guys here for?" James explained he was one of the prime canidates for The League of Extrodinary Gentlemen. Ash looked at him saying " So... you believe my story?" They had both read his profile, he seemed perfect material, experience fighting the unusual, good leadership capabilities, he may be cocky but he as tough as nails. They nodded, without a word Ash stood up and walked out of the room.
A few minutes later he came back with a suit-case, a shotgun and a long chainsaw. Ash smiled and said "Groovy, lets just make a stop first." They hopped into the limo and onto the road as Ash gave the driver directions. They soon found themselves in a more modernized version of Deadwood..but not much. They pulled into S-MART and Ash got out, James and Stuart following.
They walked into S-MART and followed Ash to the help desk. He calmy greeted a acne scarred, middle aged creep whose name tag said "JACK" Ash got into his face and said " You know what Jack, im dead tired of taking your shit, ive gotten a oppurtunity that I just cant refuse so..." WHAM! He punched Jack in the face so hard he fell to the floor holding his bloody nose. " I QUIT!" And suddenly everyone in the store cheered for Ash. Suddenly he swept up a young,deeply tanned, black haired girl whose tag said "Elena" Ash swept her off her feet as he grabbed the microphone om the courtesy desk. James and Stuart stood flabbergasted as Ash purred " Hail to the King baby" Into the mic as he gazed into her eyes before giving her a show stopping kiss. Ash led a parade out of the store and into the limo. Stuart and James leapt in just as Ash closed the door as people cheered " ASH ASH ASH!!" The limo drove off onto the road... and ironically into the red sunset.