Part 22
*
I walked into the girl's shower room and stepped into an empty cubicle. I pulled the shower curtain over and began to take off my clothes. Dumping them into the pull out drawer for clothes, I turned on the shower and pushed it up to the hottest level it could go. Letting the hot water rush over me and burn my skin, I let out a sigh. This was so peaceful. It must have been past 7 and I'd have missed first period but I really couldn't give a fuck. Jenny's words stung me hard. Shane and I weren't officially together when she slept with those girls but... Deep down, I knew she knew how I felt about her. There was Amber and then Jo... And probably other girls I just hadn't known about.
I'll admit it, I'm not perfect either. When I saw Shane with Amber, I fell straight into Papi's arms. Then when I saw Shane with Jo, I marched straight into another's girl's arms... That girl, I didn't know her name, but I stopped before anything happened. I knew I couldn't keep doing this. Running into other girl's arms whenever Shane slept around. Then when Shane came back with Joanie, it stung me but I truly believed Shane when she said her and Joanie were just friends.
Rubbing the soap over my body, I glanced down. I had love bites all over my neck, chest and stomach. I remembered last night fondly. Shane and I, moving in perfect harmony, kisses so passionate and lustful it would put porn stars to shame. Just the cold dark raining night, it was like we were the only two people in the entire world. And then Jenny had to open her stupid mouth and ruin my good mood.
I washed my hair, rinsed it and soaked in the water for a few more minutes before turning off the shower. Wrapping the towel around my body, I grabbed my clothes and stepped out, walking back to my dorm as fast as my legs would take me. I walked into my dorm and found Caitlin, Lana and Jenny gone.
Changing quickly into my black jeans, green tank-top and green sweatshirt, I dried my hair and watched as my hair dried in winding curls. Spraying some hairspray onto my hair, I found myself rubbing foundation into my face and applying mascara. Pulling on my black faded converses with force, I had no other reason to stay in the dorm. Feeling as ready as I was ever going to, I stepped outside and closed the door. Pulling out my timetable from my back pocket, I found my first period was English and the second was History.
Hearing the bell go for second period, I headed off towards the History. I didn't know for sure if I wanted to see Shane this morning because those doubts about her were beginning to eat me up. I definitely didn't want to see Jenny at all. Whether she said those things because she really cared about me or because she was just pissed because even with Dana gone, Alice still didn't want her, I didn't know. I wish I could have talked to Becky, she always says what she sees in front of her but I couldn't risk finding her without finding Shane too.
But dammit, I wanted to see her. I arrived at my class and was one of the first ones in. I spotted Alice and she waved me over. I sat next to her and smiled, "Hey".
"Hey, you okay?" Alice asked.
"Totally" I nodded.
The class all filed in and Alice was about the only person I knew. Our teacher did the register and started talking about something I could care less about. Half way through this boring class, another teacher interrupted us and asked if I could go to the principal's. Oh god. Great, what could possibly go wrong now?
I stood, with every single eye on me and followed the teacher down into the principal's office. It was big and had a Victorian-theme going on. Walking into the principal's office, I felt a surge of uneasiness shoot right through me. The woman sat in front of me was middle-aged with dark hair pulled into a tight bun.
"Carmen" she smiled, "I'm Miss Chattin, Principal of Trinity Academy, it's lovely to meet you".
"You too" I sat down, and forced a horrible smile on my face.
"Carmen, I've called you in here today because something very important has come up" Miss Chattin began, "I'd like to discuss this further with you but I'm afraid I have a meeting... How does lunch time sound?".
"Emm, lunch is good" I nod my head.
"Very well" Miss Chattin replied, "You may return to class" I stood and felt the urge to scream. She only called me down here to let me know I've to come back later on? I really wanted some answers now. The not-knowing part was making me anxious.
Walking back down the corridor, I suddenly felt hands wrap around my stomach and pull me back. Lips pressed themselves into my neck and I smiled.
"Shane" I turned to see her, wearing different clothes and hair restyled. She looked so sexy. I smiled and grabbed her into a hug, sighing. Whatever came my way, I felt as if I could handle it with Shane around me.
"God, I missed you" Shane growled. She pulled us into a janitor's closet and closed the door behind us. Pinning me to the door, we started the same vicious attack on each other's mouths. Shane overpowered me, yet again, and smirked as she pulled away.
"How come you're out of class?" Shane pondered.
"Em..." I looked down, "The principal wanted to see me but she said I've to come back at lunch".
"Do you have any idea what it's about?" Shane frowned.
I shook my head, "Nope and it's driving me crazy... That and em... Well... Nevermind" I sat down against the door and Shane quickly followed me.
"Carmen, what's wrong?" Shane pressed, concerned.
"It's nothing" I shook my head but she was refusing to let it go.
"Carmen" Shane pulled my face into her hands and kissed my lips softly, "What's wrong? You can tell me".
"Jenny said some things" I replied quietly, feeling stupid already.
"What kind of things?" Shane frowned, trying to get my eye-contact.
"That we would wind up hurting each other again" I whispered, "That you would cheat on me, that I was stupid for starting a relationship with you".
"Well fuck Jenny!" Shane cried, angry, "What the fuck does she know? Carmen, I love you, I'd never to anything to intentionally hurt you ever again!".
"I know" I nod and pull her closer, "It's okay, I don't... Believe her but just... Thinking about everything... I mean... You really think we can make this work?".
"Absolutely" Shane said fiercely, "I couldn't and won't live without you Carmen".
"I love you" I smiled, feeling happy again. Jenny didn't know anything about mine and Shane's relationship. Screw her. Who needs negative people like that in our lives?
"Carmen?" Shane whispered.
"I'm here, I love you" I repeated and leaned up to kiss her. This was just a stupid small blip we're already over, no thanks to Jenny.
God, her kisses are pure magic.
"C'mon" Shane took my hand and led me out of the janitor's closet and towards her own dorm. It was empty naturally and we went straight to Shane's bed. Holding each other, kissing each other, we eventually dozed off into a silent dream.
*
I was already getting used to waking up in Shane's arms peacefully but this time, I woke with a sense of dread. Something horrible was about to happen. Sitting up, I noticed it was lunch time and that Shane was still sleeping. Slipping from her arms without waking her, I left her dorm and found my feet taking me towards the principal's office.
Knocking gently, I waited until I heard her voice telling me to come and entered.
"Carmen, sit down, please" Miss Chattin said to me and I felt my stomach do somersaults. I wish I had Shane with me right now but now, I just had to grit my teeth and get through this.
"Carmen, tell me, what do you know about you're biological family?" Miss Chattin asked me. This wasn't what I thought she was going to ask me.
"Em..." I frowned, "Not much, just that they were adopted".
"Your two sisters; Anna and Lily, and three brothers; Alejandro, Juan and Jose have contacted me" Miss Chattin replied, her words causing me to freeze. What!?
"Carmen, do you know what I just said?" Miss Chattin added.
Feeling struck with shock, I just nodded feebly.
"Before you went into foster care, they were adopted by a Spanish family" Miss Chattin's mouth is moving but her words are a mix of blur and nausea, "Your oldest sister; Anna, has a 5 year age difference, Lily has a 4 year age gap and your twin brothers; Juan and Jose have a 6 year age difference, leaving Alejandro the youngest at 20... Which makes them—if your social worker wish to hand over rights—your legal guardians".
I sat there, in a daze. I understood what she was telling me but I couldn't open my mouth to move or speak, I was frozen by shock.
"Carmen" Miss Chattin started, "I realise you must be absolutely stunned... The point is, they spent months trying to locate you, first through the adoption agency, then through your foster-parents, eventually finding St Rosemary's boarding school but by the time they did that, you'd already left... The school forwarded them our address and Anna got in touch with me to see if by any chance, you wanted to... meet them?".
The possibility of meeting blood related family made my heart beat faster than I could have ever imagined. But... something Miss Chattin said earlier made me feel sick, worried...
"What do you mean by Legal Guardians?" I asked, my voice dry and squeaky.
"Your Social Worker contacted me" Miss Chattin began, "She suggested that if you got along with your brothers and sisters then they would become your Legal Guardians, until you're 18 of course, and by Legal Guardians...".
"They can pull me out of here, can't they?" I whispered harshly.
Miss Chattin looked away awkwardly, "If they see fit... Yes, if they become your Legal Guardians and wish to pull you out of here and place you into another school, they can".
My face must have looked a picture. I've always to meet my real family, and find out what my parents were like but... I'd never want to leave here, leave Shane and everybody behind. I'd never let that happen. I mean, it's not like I can't meet them, find out about my birth parents and then still stay here but... If I meet them and my Social Worker thinks that they should be my Legal Guardians and my brothers and sisters think I'd benefit from being in a public school, so I can go live with them when I'm not in school... The possibilities were roaming around in my head and making me feel dizzy and sick.
I gripped the chair's arm and took a deep breath.
"There's no rush, Carmen" Miss Chattin added, "I think you should sleep on it and think carefully... Nobody will force you to do anything".
I nodded once and like a robot, stood from my chair and walked out of the office. Letting out a deep sigh, I walked down stairs to where the school was still having lunch.
I could see no sign of the group and a part of me sighed relief. If they saw me, I'd probably spill my guts and I didn't really want to talk about it yet. Turning around, I headed for my dorm.
*
Walking into my dorm, I came face to face with Lana. She was sitting at the computer table, head down, writing something but when the door clicked open, she turned to look at me. A vague smile graced her face and she swirled around on the chair to see me completely.
"Is there any reason why you're looking so bloody depressed?" Lana asked me, voice still as angelic as before but her face showed signs of stress and problems.
I paused. "It doesn't..." I trailed off but then spun around to face her, "My life has been one big roller-coaster of problems! Ever since I was born, I was the child that nobody wanted, I didn't have anything and then I met Bette, the one person who ever believed in me and she died! She died! And it was my fault! And Dana died! Again, my fault! How many more people are gonnah die before they learn that all I bring is trouble and pain! And don't even get me started on Shane, the one true girl I've ever loved and here I sit, doubting our relationship, scared that we're mess this up and I can't mess this up, I love her too much and to top it off, I've just been told my real brothers and sisters want to meet me and maybe take me away from Shane and everyone else I love! And I hate my life, my fucked up, stupid, life!" I let out a deep breath, "And that, is why I'm so bloody depressed!".
Lana stood and took one step toward me. In the same even, graceful voice, she said, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I've only ever loved one girl and she fled the Country because she blamed me for putting our best friend into hospital. When I was 15, I was a drug addict and a prostitute, I only got out of that because my rich aunt didn't want me to ruin her precious reputation and shoved me in here. I haven't seen my father since I was 7 and my mother... Well, she's still in her mental institute. My sister refuses to talk to me because of the mistakes I've made in my life and my daughter? She's in care, the last place I want her but I've got no choice because I've basically got no-one. The people I talk to and hang about with and have lunch with are only there because of my Social Status, plus the fact most of them think I'm a cold-hearted bitch who'll spread rumours about them. But at the end of the day, I'm stronger for going through all of that mess of crap and still coming out the other end. And I cope by reminding myself that no matter how hard I've got it, there's always one person close to you who's got it worse" she picked up her notebook and walked past me towards the door.
When I heard the door click shut, I let out a deep breath I didn't know I'd been holding and slowly crawled towards my bed. Silently, I let out a single dreadful tear.
Author's Note: I hope you like the new twist in the story lol I definitely want to add some more drama but also so the story can develop! Also, got some really bad news, my computer is kinda broke and i dnt know how long it will be until i can update again so really soz and i'll try my best to get it fixed! Reviews are amazing! x