Ok then, here's another update for all you lovely readers. I think I may have rushed it slightly in this chapter, I'm not sure, I'm sure you'll tell me in a review if I have or not, but I can't be bothered with milling around about it all. Hope you don't mind :s if you do, just tell me so and I'll try and slow it down, after all you are the ones reading it.
Anyway, on with the story...
Boarding School Hell
Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!
"Does it have to morning yet?" Chris groaned from the floor of Titch's room. He could hear his friend agreeing from the bed, but for a completely different reason. As Chris unwrapped himself from the sleeping bag Titch had let him borrow, the same one Titch had always let him borrow when he had slept in the room Titch and Speed had shared in Sophomore and Junior year, he thought about what was going to happen today. He had let Wyatt sleep in the room alone last night, it was better than being there when the last thing Wyatt wanted was his cheating, lying boyfriend around. He felt rotten for what had happened, he knew he should have told Wyatt what happened, but he never thought he would have found out. If it was not for deciding to tell Titch last night, Wyatt would not have found out, but he could blame that, he should not have done it in the first place.
A moment of weakness, Chris thought back on what he had said to Wyatt, that was probably the worst thing he could have said, but he was being truthful. There was no love in what he had done with Bianca, it was hot, yes, but it was not the same as when he did it with Wyatt. It was lust, pure lust, but maybe sometimes that was worse. That was definitely worse. Why did you do it, idiot? the brunette thought to himself, couldn't you keep your hands to yourself just once? You deserve whatever's coming to you today.
Hearing movement, he looked over to see Ben getting out of bed, so sat up and ran his hands through his hair.
"Sleep well down there?" Ben asked with a smirk. He had decided against telling Chris he could share his bed, it was not something that needed to get back to Wyatt. As much as he liked Chris, he was not about to push it while Chris was still so madly in love with someone and was going to try anything to win them back.
"I've slept better," the Perry answered with a yawn as he climbed out of his sleeping bag, showing he was just in his boxers, "But then again, I've slept worse, so it doesn't really matter." Chris pulled on his jeans from last night and walked towards the door.
"Where are you going?" Titch asked, looking at his brunette friend at the door.
"To make sure Wyatt's up and to get a shower."
Chris escaped from the room before Titch could say anything to him. Maybe this was not the best thing to do, but he knew what Wyatt was like and if he had the chance he would sleep in, at least past breakfast and possibly his first lesson – Geometry. He opened the door a inch, quietly, and looked to Wyatt's bed, but he was not there. Confused, Chris opened the door fully and surveyed the room to find Wyatt in his bed, still fast asleep. He walked over, to see Wyatt's eyes still looked puffy, but would not see the redness until he opened them.
"Wyatt?" Chris called, resting a hand gently on Wyatt's arm that was hanging out of the sheet and over the bed, as if he was trying to cuddle something. Chris perched on the end of the bed with a deep sigh. He really did love Wyatt, and the thought of losing him was scaring him half to death. But maybe Wyatt sleeping in Chris' bed meant that he was going to forgive him, at least eventually, and they could go back to what they had. However, it had just been one night, and he knew Wyatt's mind would still be racing. As he gently ran his hand through his lover's golden locks, he called out his name again, this time getting Wyatt to stir, "Wy, c'mon, time to get up."
Wyatt opened his eyes, reluctantly, to see Chris sat above him. He felt like he had only just gotten to sleep, everything from last night still at the forefront of his mind. Ignoring the fact that Chris was there, with a soft smile on those perfect lips, Wyatt turned to look at the clock on the nightstand to see it was 7:10am, he had only just gotten to sleep recently, as in just over two hours ago. He had spent the whole night in his own bed, thinking about what to do, then got up and walked around for a bit and finally decided to sleep in Chris', maybe that would help with his decision of what to do even if he did not want to be near him at the moment. When he turned back around, he realised Chris was not there. He looked over and saw him with a towel in his hand near the doorway.
"I'm going for a shower." Chris told him, seeing the look of confusion on the 17-year-old's face. He did not want to be around him at the moment, could not be around him with all the guilt he felt, he only came to wake him up. The longer Chris was around, the more he felt Wyatt was going to get pissed off and end up breaking up with him. If he kept his distance, maybe Wyatt would forgive him.
Once Chris had left the room, Wyatt laid back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. He loved Chris so much, but everything that he had found out last night was still raw, he was still in pain, and still had no idea what to do about it. Now he was finally understanding why Naff had told him not to get with his roommate, and this was it. Wyatt was going to see Chris every single morning and night, which did not make it easy as he made his decision about whether to try and stay with Chris or break up with him, and then if they did break up, for the next six months there was going to be tension, and lots of it.
Because they did not want the news spread around, Titch had managed to talk to Wyatt and convince him to make it look like nothing had happened, just while they got it sorted out. They did not need everybody gossiping about their 'break-up' while he was still running through everything. Reluctantly, the Halliwell agreed, but never spoke to Chris, in fact he hardly spoke to anybody for a while as he got it through his head.
Two weeks had past, and not only was Wyatt trying to avoid everyone and everything, but so was Chris. This was becoming damaging on both of their health, which made their group of friends worry about them. They all knew Chris was afraid of losing Wyatt, and it was because of him that Chris had closed off to everyone, but they could not fully blame Wyatt, after all Chris was the one that had cheated and then lied about it. Not all of them knew the full story, just Titch, Speedy and Ben – of course Ben since he shared a room with Titch, and at times Chris would come and sleep on their floor if the tension in his room was too much.
If 2x + 7y 23 and 4x +… Wyatt's thought trailed from his algebra problems to Chris, he always helped him with this. Wyatt could never understand what was going on here, even though eventually all problems were the same. There were other things that Chris had helped Wyatt with, lots of things like coming up with a solution about Caitlin and the baby, that's not going to happen without Chris, the Halliwell thought to himself as he stared at the paper in front of him.
All he had thought about for the past two weeks was Chris, everything that Chris was, everything he did – good and bad. When ever Chris would get changed, he always looked, even if the Perry did not realise, and found he just wanted to go over and kiss him, touch him, hold him, forgive him…No, he can't be forgiven, Wyatt fought with himself in his mind, not forgiven, not yet at least, but the 17-year-old wanted to forgive him, let Chris know that it was alright. Even though he would not trust Chris for a very long time, he still wanted to tell him he still loved him and wanted to be with him, but that would make him look stupid. Only a mug would get back with someone who had cheated on them, once a cheater, always a cheater, those words constantly ran through his mind. Bianca's words. She had put them there on purpose, she knew he was going to find out and said that to make him doubt his brunette lover. She was poison, and Wyatt just wanted to tear her apart limb from limb, painfully slowly. That was when he realised, maybe Chris was telling the truth, maybe it was just once, one mistake when he was weak. With knowing that it was when Lynn was in hospital, Chris would have been weak, weak enough to give into something that without help he would not be able to stop. After all, he had fought with Wyatt after his grandpa had died, he had tried to sleep with Wyatt straight after the hospital visit to 'numb the pain', was that was he was doing there, his mind not all together, not actually realising what he was doing? Don't kid yourself, he knew what he was doing, Wyatt told himself again, shaking his head, he had to get back onto his work not think about this, but he could do the work later, this was more important. The love of his life was more important than anything. That bitch of an ex-fiancée and his lover in bed with each other…the thought of that now ran through his mind. What did she have that Wyatt did not? Then again, what did she not have that Wyatt did…male, female…there were a few differences there, and maybe Chris was not completely gay after all not if he was going to sleep with her.
The Halliwell turned around in his chair and looked at Chris, just briefly, to see him looking out of the window, thinking about something. Wyatt's movement seemed to get his attention though, as Chris moved his head to look at Wyatt. The 17-year-old turned back around and closed his eyes, Chris looked so hot and so angelic when he was thinking, but he was not angelic, Bianca had taken that from him. It wasn't all Bianca's fault though, a voice told him, but maybe it was. Ok, Chris was not a innocent party, she had obviously gotten him hot, hot enough for him to strip his clothes off and hers and…Damn it, stop thinking of it, Wyatt thought, If you keep thinking about it, wondering what it was like then you'll never forget about it and you'll lose Chris forever. Maybe he wanted to lose Chris forever, no not wanted, needed to lose him. Move on, find someone else, that was what he would tell anyone else. Leave them, forget about them and move on. However, Chris had a hold of Wyatt's heart and if Wyatt was really honest, he did not want it back.
He turned around again, now he could see Chris playing with the dog tags that Wyatt had gotten him for Christmas. So, he's still wearing them, Wyatt said, turning back around and looking at the silver ring that still sat on his third finger of his right hand, Just like I'm still wearing this. There had to be something there if he was still wearing the promise ring, some promise that turned out to be. Two days after putting it on and Chris is in bed with someone else. And not just anybody else, Bianca of all the people, that bitch. The Halliwell looked at the math problems again and then up at the clock hanging above the door. There was still twenty minutes of the class, twenty minutes to think about this. He was going to give it until then and if he had not come up with a solution of what to do, he would talk to someone, someone who could help put a few things into perspective.
"Do you love him?" Wyatt was asked, as he sat in the hut with the one person he never thought he would come to ask for advice. The one person he never thought would give him advice, after what Wyatt had done.
"Yeah, I love him, Naff," Wyatt sighed, taking a drag from his cigarette. He was meant to be giving these up too, but right now it was like he needed them. The stress of the situation over the last two weeks had taken too much out of him to quit, "If I didn't love him I wouldn't be stuck in this…predicament."
"Big word for you," Naff told the 17-year-old who just looked at him unimpressed by the attempt of a joke. Dane Naffelitie sighed and looked to the Halliwell, only a few months ago he was telling Wyatt not to get with his roommate and was pushing him to find out how he really felt for Chris, but now he was giving advice on whether to stay with him or not…and honestly, he never thought he would give this advice… "Look, I know Chris loves you too. He's smitten, really, and he's going crazy thinking he's gonna lose you. If I was in your position, I'd be asking myself why he did it and whether he's going to do it again."
"I've asked myself that." Wyatt groaned, this was pointless.
"And what's the answer?" Naff asked, "I'm guessing you have spoken to Chris about it."
"Yeah," the Halliwell answered, "I've asked him and he's told me what I think is the truth. That it was just once and it was a big mistake and it will never happen again."
"And that's what you think is the truth?" When the 17-year-old nodded, Naff sighed again, "It is the truth," Wyatt narrowed his ocean blue eyes as he studied the teen opposite him in the metal hut, "He's said the same thing to Speedy, Titch and me now. He's said what happened and to be honest I'm really surprised. I never thought he would have done it, but I also know how Chris deals with things, he keeps the bottled up…"
"Yeah, I know."
"Right, so you know that with everything going on, your ex turning up," of course, Naff knew nothing about Caitlin being pregnant, just that she turned up, "Bianca turning up and causing trouble, her mom going into hospital only months earlier was he in the hospital with his grandpa, it's bound to have a bad effect on his brain."
Wyatt was not sure how to take that information.
"But it doesn't give an excuse of why he did it."
"Course not," Naff shrugged, "There's never an excuse, but he's guilty as hell about it. I hate to say it, but you're the best thing that's happened to him since I've known him. He's happy when he's with you and he never told you what happened because he didn't want to hurt you. If you'd have never found out you wouldn't have expected anything happened would you?"
"No," Wyatt shook his head, "But something did."
"And do you think with everything that's happened since then that he'd do it again?" Naff asked, knowing the answer, well knowing what he thought about Chris, "Now that Bianca is out of his life. Do you really think he'd do it again? Hey, at least it wasn't some random girl or guy that neither of you knew."
"That's what makes it slightly worse…"
"No it makes it better, trust me," Naff said, "You know how he really feels about Bianca, he can't stand her. He was cheating on her for God's sake…"
Once a cheater, always a cheater, Bianca's voice in his head again.
"Ok, bad thing to say," the teen sighed, "He was cheating on her because he wasn't sure about himself, but now he is. He loves you, you alone, I've never seen him with a bigger smile on his face and I hate to admit that it's all because of you. You want to know whether you should forgive him?" Wyatt nodded his head, that was the whole reason he was listening to this nonsense, "I think you should. I know for a fact he would never do this again, not in a million years. He loves you, Wyatt."
"But that doesn't tell me if I should stay with him," Wyatt sighed, "I can't trust him."
"That will grow," but Wyatt did not believe him and just rolled his eyes, "Look, you love him right?"
"Course I love him, I've told you that."
"Then the trust doesn't matter for now, that can grow," Naff explained, "Think about it, you're in a boarding school, somewhere where if you really didn't trust him you could find out instantly what was going on, someone would know. I know he wouldn't do it again, he loves you too much to make the same mistake twice, and to be honest if you break up with him now Bianca, and your own ex for that matter, get what they wanted from the start, you two separated."
Wyatt frowned, Naff was right, the trust could grow back with time, all that mattered at the moment was that he loved Chris.
"Just think about it," Naff sighed, "I know if you really love him you two could get past it."
I don't expect a letter back, so don't waste any ink.
Chris.
He sat and read through the letter that he had just written to Bianca. Because of her, well him too it does take two after all, he was going to lose Wyatt. It did not take a genius to work out that after two weeks Wyatt was going to break up with him, and now he was letting Bianca know that she had won and gotten her own way even though she was out of his life. If only he had not let himself sleep with her. If it was just that one kiss then maybe Wyatt would have forgiven him, understood that really that first kiss was out of his control, but he went back for more, after she threw the ring at him, he went back to her and kissed her - not the other way around. He kissed her, he took her clothes off, he let himself...he did not even want to think about it. He was beating himself up inside. It had been bad enough what not telling Wyatt had done, but now that the Halliwell had found out, Chris felt more guilt and regret then he did then. Not only because of his actions with Bianca, but for lying to Wyatt and for never telling him himself, for letting his conversation with Titch be overheard.
He looked at it as he wrote Bianca's address on the envelope, maybe this was not such a good idea, this would give her an open invitation for her to get back into his life. He put the letter in the envelope, he could think about it even if the letter was sealed. Staring at the address, he thought some more. What would it matter if she did get back into his life, if he did not have Wyatt there would be no reason not to have her. And anyway, after what he had done she would be stupid to reply to the letter, it would give him another chance to hurt her.
Hearing the door open, Chris quickly put the sealed letter in his top draw, he could think about whether to send that later, and opened a textbook on his desk, pretending that he was doing some work. He glanced at the door to see Wyatt looking at him, still not stepping over the threshold. Great, Chris thought to himself, He's gonna break up with me now. Maybe he could miss it, leave it for a little longer. If he could leave the room now with an excuse, Wyatt would not be able to break up with him yet and he could pretend that the17-year-old was still thinking. However, he knew what was coming and maybe, just maybe, he should face it straight on. As Wyatt walked into the room, Chris turned back around, he could not face him, not if he was going to shatter his heart. He took a glance at the textbook, he did not even know what he was meant to be studying, history, Chris realised, my worst subject too. Well, at least he would not be lying if he told Wyatt he needed to get some help on the homework, he really would need help with this, history was one of the subjects Wyatt was helping him in.
"Chris, can we…?" Wyatt started, but he could see Chris standing up with a textbook in his hand, "Oh, want some help?"
Chris looked at Wyatt carefully, why was he asking him if he wanted help?
"Erm…it's ok, I'll talk to…"
"Chris, let me help you," Wyatt sighed, "You know my history is way better that anyone else's, it's the one subject I can do." Chris sighed, the Halliwell was right, maybe he should ask him to help him, but then it would give Wyatt an opening to break up with him. Although, if Wyatt wanted to break up with him, why would he be willing to help him with his work now?
"Ok," Chris said with a sigh, and sat at the desk, even though he did not need any help since he had no idea on what he was actually doing, "Do you know what the assignment was?"
Wyatt just looked at Chris and laughed at him. He missed this slightly, for the past two weeks they had hardly spoken to each other, just enough to be civil and make it look like to the rest of the school that nothing had happened, but Wyatt had missed Chris' stupid moments.
"The foundations of the Cold War were laid during World War II. Discuss the statement," Wyatt looked at Chris and laughed at the look on his face that said 'I-have-no-idea-what-you're-talking-about-help-me'. The Halliwell shook his head with a laugh, "Ok, do you think World War II gave a starting block for the Cold War?"
"Wasn't the Cold War before World War II?" the brunette asked, but he knew he was completely wrong when he saw Wyatt break down into fights of giggles, "What?"
"Do you listen to a word in history?"
"Obviously not." Chris stated, as he pulled his chair over to the desk, this was going to take a very very long time. The thoughts of everything that had happened left both of the teens minds as they laughed at everything stupid the Perry asked about this subject ranging from 'who was Hitler and was he a real person' to 'what could World War II have anything to do with the Cold War in the first place.' After an hour of explaining the basic ins and outs of the second world war, Chris was still not getting it all into his head and decided to lean forward with a groan and hit his head on the table.
"Ow!" Chris said, screwing his face up in pain, letting out a fake cry. Wyatt shook his head with a small laugh.
"Let me look at it."
"I'm fine, really," Chris said sitting up, "It didn't hurt that much." The Perry looked at Wyatt, and their eyes locked as time seemed to stand still for them.
"No lasting damage then." Wyatt seemed to whisper as he felt himself being pulled to the love of his life. He leaned forward as the same time as Chris did and their lips were met in a kiss, almost like a first kiss, soft and gentle, easy, slow…Suddenly, Wyatt pulled away and stood up, taking a step away from the brunette. Chris sat on the chair and closed his eyes, not something that Wyatt wanted to happen, obviously.
Wyatt paced the room behind Chris, thinking about what had happened. He had not come back for that to happen, now this confused the situation even more, not because it felt wrong, it really did not, he loved it, it felt completely right just like it did the first time, but now it could not feel right, not with what he was about to tell Chris.
"That shouldn't have happened." Wyatt stuttered.
"I know," Chris sighed, "I'm sorry. I just…I…"
"It's not just your fault," Wyatt sighed, running his hand through his golden locks as he looked at Chris, who was now looking at him, with pain in his hypnotising green eyes, "Look, this is why I wanted to talk to you. I love you ok. I really really love you, but what you did, when you…when I found out…everything with Bianca," Wyatt did not know how to put all this. He had been thinking for hours in the hut with Naff and for the past two weeks, and he still did not know the right words to say to the 18-year-old sat in front of him, "It hurts, it hurts so much and I've never felt this. I don't know how to deal with it because I still love you even though you hurt me. I want to stay with you, I really really do but…" here it was, the moment that Chris had been dreading, "But I can't trust you and I need to build that up. The only thing is, I don't want to lose you from my life."
"I don't want to lose you either, Wyatt," Chris replied, his voice quiet, "I wish I could turn back time, I really do, I'm so so so so sorry for what I did, and I can promise you I will never let it happen again…"
"I know I should believe that," Wyatt explained, "But right now, I can't. I think, maybe we should, I don't know, go on a break or something. Not completely break up, don't take this the wrong way, but I need time to really think this through, but still have you as a friend. I need you in my life, Chris, after all who's gonna help me with algebra and by the looks of it who's gonna get you through history?"
"A break."
"You're mad." However, Chris shook his head.
"I'm not mad," he replied, "Why would I be mad? And I wouldn't have any ground to be mad. I hurt you, not the other way around. I love you, Wyatt, and if you need a break to really sort your head out then I'll give you that."
"And you know what I mean by a break, don't you?" Wyatt asked, as Chris stood up and came face to face with him, Wyatt's extra three inches in height causing him to look down, "No kissing, no inappropriate touching, no flirting," Chris' eyebrow raised, questioning the 'no flirting', "Ok, maybe flirting is partially allowed. But, please Chris, no suggestions and what not. I need time…"
"Deal." Chris interrupted, slightly feeling on cloud nine, at least they had not completely broken up for good, yet, they were on a break.
"It's not permanent, at least I hope not, just to get my head around thing and figure out if I could ever trust you again."
"I understand," Chris nodded and picked up his textbook, "Look, I'm gonna go to Titch's room, see if he can get any of this stuff into my head, unless you want another go."
"Sit down," Wyatt laughed, "I'm not finished with you yet."
ok, so let me know in a review what you think. Hopefully I'll have another chapter up tomorrow afternoon/evening, since it is almost half-midnight here and it'll take a while to complete the next chapter.