(August 8, 2:52 pm)

I've been wanting to do this for, like, two months, but couldn't come up with anything good until a few weeks ago. Hope this will suffice! (I also hope that I'm using the word "suffice" correctly. fingerscrossed!) And before anyone asks, yes, I made up Daichi. Sorry, fangirls, he ain't real. But I do feel like I kinda based him on Tamaki from Ouran High School Host Club. If you want hot guys and awesome romantic comedy, check it out! (shamelessplug)

Hmm... I've seen other authors do this, so, what the heck, I'll give it a shot, too!

title: My Reaction
summary: Renji had heard rumors about him. About a man who abandoned his position as a lieutenant many years ago in favor of another career. But he never would have expected to meet him... for more reasons than one.
inspiration: "My Own Private Practice Guy"

ooh, I feel all professional-like! okay, enjoy!

My Reaction

"Eeeeeeeeee!!"

The girlish squeal startled the 6th Division lieutenant, immediately distracting him from his paperwork. He rose an eyebrow curiously and shifted his eyes around the room. "Captain...?" Silence. He shrugged and went back to work.

"Omigod!!"

This time, Renji nearly jumped out of his chair. Now thoroughly annoyed, he stood up and stormed out of the Sixth Division headquarters to see what was going on. He quickly realized this would be a bit difficult, however, considering the moment he stepped outside, he smacked into a young female shinigami. He looked around, rubbing his forehead, and quickly realized she wasn't alone: a sea of girls surrounded them. "What the hell is going on?" he growled.

The girl turned around, having apparently not noticed him until this very moment, looking shocked. "You mean you haven't heard who's here?" she gasped.

The answer seemed obvious to Renji. "No."

She smiled from ear to ear. "Daichi Morimoto, the famous actor!"

Renji blinked. "What's he doing here?"

"Who cares?!" shrieked the girl. Then she looked toward the center of the crowd and squealed. "Omigod, omigod, he's coming over here!"

The girls started screaming --loudly-- and Renji was forced to cover his ears to prevent his head from blowing up. This was undoubtedly worse than any opponent he'd ever taken on.

He had to admit, though, that with his fair skin, dark blue eyes, and tied-back jet black hair, Daichi Morimoto was rather handsome (in a completely heterosexual sense, of course). However, he quickly got the impression that the feeling was a bit more than mutual when the actor stopped walking just in front of Renji and stared at him silently, a small grin appearing on his face. "Might you be the lieutenant of the Sixth Division?" he asked, the mere sound of his suave voice making some of the girls pass out.

Renji cocked an eyebrow. "Yeah..."

The man smiled. "May we... step inside?" He motioned to the door Renji was currently blocking.

Despite the fact that he was growing increasingly uncomfortable, the lieutenant cautiously replied, "Uh... sure...?"

Daichi's smile widened. He then clapped a hand onto Renji's shoulder and addressed the crowd. "Ladies, I appreciate your kind words and hospitality. If you'll excuse me for a bit, though, I'd like to catch up with an old friend. I'll be back!" And with a dramatic wave of his hand, he and Renji disappeared into the building, escaping the screaming of the crazed fangirls.

Once they were safely inside, Renji smacked the side of his head a few times as if to knock the noise out of his ears.

"So," Daichi went on, his voice considerably different from just moments before, "you're the guy, huh?"

Again, Renji blinked in confusion. "Have we met?" he stated more than asked.

The man laughed. "Sorry, I never properly introduced myself." He bowed respectfully and continued, "I am Daichi Morimoto, former lieutenant of the Sixth Division." He smiled again. "It's nice to finally meet my successor."

Renji was silent for a moment. Then he managed to stutter, "Y...you used to be a shinigami??"

"Hard to believe, right? Can't say I blame you," he chuckled. "I never really went for the whole 'protectors of the Soul Society' thing. Too much of a burden, y'know? Showbiz takes a lot of pressure off--"

"Hold on, hold on," Renji interrupted. "You were talking like a freakin' prince out there! How come now you're so..."

"Different?" Daichi snickered. "That's pretty much for the girls. And I... kinda like talking like that. Makes me feel really dignified."

Again, Renji was struck speechless. Finally, he asked, "Okay, so... what are you doing here?"

"I believe I should be asking that question."

The two men turned around to see Byakuya walking up to them. Renji's eyes widened. "C-Captain--"

"Heeeyyy, Byakuya!"

The current lieutenant stared at Daichi in disbelief. Where did he get off addressing the captain so casually?

The response was a simple Byakuya Kuchiki Glare. "I don't recall giving you permission to return here after you left, Daichi."

"I didn't realize I needed it," the man laughed a bit awkwardly. When Byakuya was silent, Daichi went on, "Relax, Kuchiki, I just came to see how the new guy was doing." He then wrapped an arm around Renji's neck as if the two had known each other forever.

Renji continued to stare. New guy?

Byakuya narrowed his eyes. "Renji has been my lieutenant for years. If you came by more often, maybe you would have known that."

"How could I if ya never let me?"

"It doesn't seem to have stopped you."

"Man, it's been, like, fifty years since then. When are you gonna let it go?"

"Perhaps if you hadn't been--"

Daichi sighed. "Byakuya, give it up, you're not makin' any sense. And, uh..." He stepped closer to the captain and lowered his voice just enough so that Renji could still hear him. "I don't really wanna say this in front of him--" He jerked a thumb in Renji's direction. "--but it's making you look kinda stupid."

Byakuya said nothing. Then he huffed and turned around, muttering as he left, "As you were."

Renji blinked.

Daichi turned to face him proudly. "Huh? Huh?"

The lieutenant's jaw dropped. "I... I've never seen him at a loss for words like that.... That may have been the greatest thing I've ever seen!"

"I know, right?" the former shinigami laughed.

"How did you do that?" Renji asked, still amazed.

"He just hates having people mess with his head. Really screws him up, y'know?" Renji let out a laugh. "Oh, here's a good one," Daichi went on. "Next time he's annoying you like that and just kinda starts to ramble-- Has he ever done that with you?"

After thinking it over for a moment, Renji nodded, "A few times."

"Alright, next time that happens, when he's done, just look at him and say, 'I'm sorry, did you say something?'"

"Have you done that before?"

"You kidding? Greatest day ever."

As Renji chuckled again, there was a sudden pounding at the door. The two stared in the direction of the noise, and Daichi snickered. "I should go." He went on in his 'professional' voice, "My public awaits." Before he left, though, he turned to Renji and said, "Nice meetin' ya. Remember what I said."

Renji nodded. "Got it."

And with that, Daichi disappeared into another obnoxiously loud round of screams.

". . . Wow."

XXXXXXXX

"Renji."

The lieutenant looked up from his work for a second time that day, this time to see his captain standing in the doorway. "May I have a word with you?"

Renji grew nervous. He did not sound happy. Well, he never sounded happy, but this time he seemed especially unhappy. "Y-yes, sir," he finally replied, walking toward Byakuya.

"I noticed you were speaking with Daichi Morimoto earlier today," the captain went on.

"Um, yes."

He narrowed his eyes. "I would advise you to stay away from him."

This caught Renji off-guard. Daichi seemed a bit odd, but to be told something like that struck him as rather extreme. "...Why is that?"

"You may have noticed that Daichi and I didn't quite get along before."

"...Kinda."

"Do you have any idea why I don't like him?"

Renji suppressed a laugh. If that wasn't the understatement of the century... "No, sir, why?"

Byakuya either didn't notice Renji's almost-laugh or ignored it, and went on, "Because he lacks the ability to take anything he does seriously."

"Uh, no offense, Captain, but how would you know that?"

"Daichi was my lieutenant for many years before you replaced him, Renji. I grew to know him quite well. And considering your skills need improvement as it is, the last thing I need is his irresponsible attitude wearing off on you."

Renji faintly heard him as he continued to talk; all he could focus on was the fact that his own captain was basically degrading him. He continued to barely listen until Byakuya finally said, "Have I made myself clear?"

Ah, what the hell, he thought. "I'm sorry, did you say something?"

When Byakuya once again fell silent, Renji could practically see Daichi guiding him through what followed.

"Hello, and welcome to today's lesson, The Biomechanical Reaction of Captain Byakuya Kuchiki When He's Not Being Listened To. Stage One, the jaw clench. Grr!"

Byakuya clenched his jaw.

"Quickly followed by Stage Two, over-enunciation."

"Renji, I do not have time to repeat myself."

"And finally, Stage Three, Byakuya begrudgingly offers a sign of respect, but distances himself by pausing too long and too often."

"But I will... commend you.. for... being able to.. fool me. . . like that."

Daichi nodded, satisfied with the results. "The young soldier is offered a prize for his courage." He smiled excitedly at Renji. "Get ready."

Renji snapped out of his fantasy as Byakuya went on, "I understand you've been working to improve your bankai recently. Would you... like me to help?"

He knew this was his captain's way of reaching out to him as a co-worker (and as a friend?), but Renji had no intention of letting him off the hook so easily for his insult. "...I have other plans."

Byakuya eyed him suspiciously. "What?"

Renji froze. Okay, he thought, something believable that has nothing to do with Rukia... Grandma died. No, that doesn't make any sense! If she were dead, she'd be here! Well, I guess she could have died here and gone back. Yeah, that could work... But I never knew her! Crap!

"Renji."

Without thinking, he quickly responded, "My grandma died." And as he quietly escaped the inevitable awkward silence by retreating back into his office, he sighed.

"Worth it."