Proposals of Marriage
"So why are we here?" Kankurou asked, leaning against a wall with his arms crossed, bored.
"I don't know," Gaara answered, not looking up from his behind his mountain of paperwork. Not that he could see Kankurou from behind the stack anyways. Sometimes Gaara swore these papers bred overnight. There only seemed to be more each day.
The office door burst open. Gaara's desk quivered slightly and a few papers flitted to the ground, but the red-head kept working through the disruption.
"Kankurou! Gaara! You need wives!" Temari's loud voice boomed.
Kankurou sighed and Gaara did so more quietly. Ever since Temari married Shikamaru and got pregnant, somehow, the ridiculous notion Kankurou and Gaara needed to marry sprouted in her head. Neither had gotten a decent night's rest with her hounding.
"Haven't we already been through this?" Kankurou moaned, rubbing his temple.
"Finding you two wives isn't exactly EASY! Finding salt in the Akatsuki lair is easier than finding you two willing women to marry!" Their sister raged, red faced. "Because Gaara is Kazekage, he needs a wife."
Said Kazekage wondered why he needed one when he was perfectly fine on his own.
"If Gaara had a wife, she could remind him to get to bed on time, cook, clean, do his laundry, produce kids, help him with paperwork," Temari continued relentlessly.
"That sounds more like a mother's job," Kankurou commented, flinching under the eldest sibling's tenfold anger and intense glare.
"A wife would improve the village's image of Gaara! It would show he has changed! Ever since the Shukaku was extracted two years ago, Gaara has become more and more reclusive. I can barely remember what he looks like!" Temari growled.
"You saw me yesterday," Gaara spoke up, standing.
Temari glowered at him. "That's not the point! Do you want to be remembered as the cowardly Kazekage who hid behind a stack of papers when his stuffed raccoon was stolen?"
The Kazekage stiffened. He was not cowardly!
"Kankurou, fetch me a pimento sandwich with pickles," Temari ordered, pointing to the office door.
Kankurou arched an eyebrow at Gaara. Neither of them knew what the hell pimentos were. Shrugging, the puppet master slouched out of the room.
Without warning, the four-month pregnant woman sunk into the chair before Gaara's desk and began sobbing. The red-head was at a loss of what to do.
"It's so hard trying to settle you two down! I just want to see you two taken care of before I go to Konoha!" Temari wept.
Gaara felt a pang of guilt for his sister. She was trying to help them, complete her last duty as a sister before she moved to Konoha with her husband, Shikamaru. This issue wasn't making matters better for her or the baby.
Gaara soothingly gave Temari's shoulders a tight grip before loosening them to relax her. "Kankurou and I are grown men, Temari. We can take care of ourselves. Though I can't say much for Kankurou."
The kunoichi gave a miserable, half-hearted laugh.
"But I doubt any woman would be able to stand me, Temari. As you said earlier, I am a recluse. I've learned women are prying creatures. Perhaps I was a bachelor in my cradle" Gaara shrugged "but if I were to get enamored with a woman, I wouldn't know what to do and end up driving her off. I'm a lost cause, Temari."
Feeling faintly depressed, Gaara retreated behind the stack of papers, a quarter of which were due in two days.
Temari didn't say anything, but a plan was forming in her head. Perhaps no one from Suna, or the Hidden Villages would fall for Gaara, but what if they had never heard of him? What if they weren't from Japan?
P-p-P-p-P-p-P-p-P
Gaara carried a towering stack of paperwork outside his door and set it beside his office door for other nin to take.
His lower back ached from the load and his stained bluish-purple hands were cramped. Gaara was in a particularly foul mood because of a developed migraine and lack of sleep. He glared at anything and everything as he swept down the corridors to his room.
Other ninja had enough sense to press their backs against the wall as the angry Kazekage strode past with his ceremonial Kage white and blue robes billowing behind. It wasn't a good sign either that Gaara had the Kage hat on his head, or that he growled quietly as he past.
Gaara's mind felt light with pain and annoyance. He wouldn't hesitate to kill anything in his way. His lip was curled into a sneer and his fists were clenched in his flowing sleeves.
He opened a door and slammed it shut. The room shook slightly and Gaara tossed his hat to his left as he lumbered to bed.
He fell back onto it with an exhausted sigh, closing his aqua marine eyes gratefully.
Twin arms wrapped themselves around his waist and clasped on the other side. A female body pressed close and she cooed. Gaara gritted his teeth and his chest rose and fell with anger.
The female mistook it for desire. "Hello, Kazekage," she said huskily.
"What are you doing in my bed?" Gaara asked coldly, not daring to open his eyes.
"Sleeping with you," replied a pouty, whiny voice.
Gaara hated people who whined. They were disgusting, lazy asses who never got anything done and gave their problems to others. Gaara hated pouts even more. Pouting was a way to get what the brat wanted at the moment. Pouting was a low, disgusting trick.
"I will sleep alone," Gaara said through tightly clenched teeth. His breathing was ragged with the battle of self restraint and the urge to kill this wench.
The female body heaved itself half way onto him so Gaara could feel her soft breasts pressed against his hard chest. The arms wrapped around his waist traveled up to his shoulders. "But I was just warming the bed for you, Kazekage!"
More pouting, more whining. Gaara growled. He couldn't take much more.
One hand caressed the side of his face and Gaara snapped.
Even without the Shukaku, his mother's curse enabled him to control sand. The plug to his gourd fell and sand hissed as it began to spill out onto the floor, racing toward the bed. The sand pried the female from his body. Her fingers grasping desperately on his robes slipped.
"Sabaku Kyū!" Desert Coffin!
The female began screaming.
"Sabaku Sōsō!" Desert Funeral!
Gaara sighed as silence pervaded the room.
P-p-P-p-P-p-P-p-P
"YOU KILLED HER!"
"She intruded in my room, Temari."
"WHY DID YOU KILL HER?"
"I hadn't sleep for two nights."
"THAT'S YOUR FAULT!" Temari roared.
Luckily for Temari, Gaara was still suffering from lack of being roused from a day and a half of sleep. As it was, he was having a hard time keeping his eyes open.
This had been happening for two months. Temari would take young women who admired Gaara (cough prostitutes cough) into his room where they would wait until the unfortunate Kazekage happened to enter.
Now six months pregnant, Temari was always crabby. Although Gaara wasn't particularly fond of Shikamaru, he considered pregnancy a suitable revenge for the lazy Jounin. Having a child meant the indolent ninja had to do more than blink and sigh.
"Hey, Gaara-" Kankuro said, head poking through the office door, "kuso, the whale!" His purple-painted face quickly disappeared and the door slammed.
"WHALE!" Temari screeched, whirling around. Said 'whale' ran toward the door, which burst into infinite little splinters when she rammed through it. Gaara's head dropped back down to his troublesome paperwork as Temari's bellows shushed into golden silence as she chas- hunted Kankuro.
Why do these things happen on my watch? He wondered, signing his name in several places. Why do I need a wife?
He placed the paper on a growing stack of signed ones beside his desk.
A wife is nothing more than a female friend with whom you have unbearable sexual tension that lives with you until you die. I'm better off on my own.
Gaara decided protecting and watching the village was more important than doting on a single person of the opposite sex. Hundreds of lives were more significant than one.
Gaara needed to ask someone why one person was unique to many.
But who to ask?
P-p-P-p-P-p-P-p-P (Kanji and Youtube Tutoring)
"Baki?"
The instructor of the dead, last Kazekage's children stood and bowed. "Kazekage-sama."
Gaara ignored the ceremonial greeting. "Baki, why does someone who is in love with another defend the one instead of millions?"
Baki appeared taken off guard by the strange question falling off his leader's lips. He frowned, "It is difficult to explain, Kazekage."
"Try please."
The half of Baki's face that wasn't veiled contorted with concentration. "When a man loves a woman, the woman becomes more important than the man in his eyes. She is the world to him and he is her world. Intimacy –or love- is a powerful thing, Gaara. They become absorbed in one another, blind to anything but the partner whom they would die to protect from harm. Without the other, the world or dream ends for them and nothing gives them hope."
The leader of the sand village nodded. "Arigatou, Baki."
The Kazekage strode back to his backed paperwork and gave a long sigh as he noted the overflowing load on his desk had increased. Stupid breeding papers. Damn them.
"Gaa- I mean, Kaaazzeekaage," squealed the shrill voice of his female assistant on the little intercom. He stared at the device and pressed the button. "Yes?"
"There's another girl for registration. She claims she wants to live here for a few months." His assistant sounded terribly jealous.
"Send her into my office," he answered in an irritated tone, scrawling his name on an official-looking document. Hell, they all looked official. Gaara ran a hand through his soft red hair in frustration as his aqua marine eyes skimmed over a page.
There was a shy knock at the door and he growled permission to enter. The door opened and closed soundlessly. Gaara kept hunched over a reasonable stack, one hand signing his life away as the other supported his head, fingers tangled in his hair.
Silence.
"Kazekage-sama?" asked the softest, whispery, shy female voice he had ever heard.
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Hannah stood in the hall, having past the guards in the front with a little difficulty. She sighed. From now on she would never accept Internet bribes.
These strange people in ninja clothing had shown up at her front door, abducted her, and spirited her away to a secret part of Japan. They had hourglasses on their headbands, wearing sandy colors and Hannah saw why when they arrived- camouflage for a desert.
Being a genius, Hannah estimated they were Sand ninja from some hidden community. Her guess wasn't far from the truth.
Now Hannah was standing in some tower with a strange sign painted on it.
Her head swiveled around as she was about to ask where the lobby was when a rude, feminine voice called out, "Looking for something, Ma'am? The Kazekage is not available." Her facial expression read 'you don't belong here; shoo.'
The girl had black hair and mossy eyes. Her blue bubble gum snapped. The dark eyes narrowed as her finger tapped the desk impatiently. The name plate said Rin.
"Rin, I'm here to see the unavailable Kazekage. I need some citizen registration forms," Hannah told the assistant politely, plastering a fake smile on her face.
Rin's eyes darkened when Hannah mentioned 'I' and 'Kazekage' in the same sentence. The foreigner could tell Rin was a fangirl.
"Ah, yes," she practically hissed, scowling. "I'll inform him." Rin's green fingernail pressed down on a button. "Gaa- I mean, Kaaazzeekaage." Her voice was sweet as honey as her look was venomous to Hannah.
"Yes?" The voice that crackled from the intercom sounded irritated.
"There's another girl for registration. She claims she wants to live here for a few months." Rin was trying to make the American sound like a nuisance as she dreamily spun a lock of her hair around a finger.
"Send her into my office."
"Yes, Kazekage-sama." Rin was all venom. "Down that hall. Left and last door on your right," Rin growled, practically tearing a magazine in half with fangirl jealousy. Hannah said nothing, turning her back on the rude snob. Were all fangirls like that?
Hannah paused in front of the door and hesitated, having a timid attack. Holding her breath, she rapped her knuckles on the wood and a growl answered. Hannah slid through the doorway, shutting the door as silently as possible.
For a moment she stared at an impossible breeding ground of papers. Even in America Hannah had never seen such a marvel. There was a grunt and a stack of papers was moved beside the desk by sand.
There was Gaara. His description matched like the Internet, actually his sibling, had said: flaming spiky red hair, black rings around stunning aqua marine eyes, pale complexion. The Kazekage loomed over his work as if to intimidate it, one hand scribbling while the other held up his head, fingers clenching and unclenching his blazing reddish-brown hair.
Maybe this wasn't a good time… "Kazekage-sama?" Hannah asked, trying not to disturb him and attempting to be civil.
His face lifted. Hannah's timid attack overwhelmed her and her green-gray eyes glued to the floor. "You want to become a citizen in Suna? Temporarily or permanently?" he asked. The poor guy sounded horribly bored out of his mind.
"T-temporarily," Hannah whispered, face red, "For f-five months."
The American glanced up to see Gaara lean over, open a drawer, select a thin packet, and hold out the paperwork. "Just fill this out." As Hannah took several steps to cross the room, for she had been hanging by the door, the Kazekage asked, "What's your name?"
Hannah's hand froze as they had been about to snatch the papers. Their eyes met. Blue clashed green-gray. Her eyes darted away. "Hannah," she said as softly as her voice would permit.
Gaara said nothing, shifting back to his own mound of paper. Hannah sat on the floor, hunching over and filled out the form. She didn't mind being on the floor. Hannah, being paranoid and having lived in a country full of parasites, cautiously replied to the packet, hoping no creeps showed up at her front door.
"Hannah?"
"Yes, Kazekage-sama?" She sat up.
The leader of Suna blinked in surprise as Hannah's head seemingly popped out of nowhere. Hannah bent back over her work as silence reigned. Finally done, she hoisted herself into a standing position and held out the papers mutely.
Gaara silently accepted them, aqua marine eyes sweeping over it. His non-existent eyebrows rose several times and he massaged the bridge of his nose. "What village are you from?" he frowned.
"I'm not really from any village," Hannah muttered, but he heard.
With that, Hannah pivoted and began striding towards the door. She opened it and started badly when she saw she almost shut the door on the Kazekage. Embarrassed, the new citizen of Suna kept her face downcast and began taking long strides.
Unfortunately, Gaara seemed equally enthused to escape his office and managed to stay by her side. Neither paid attention to the other, seeking to get away.
When both of them, neck in neck, came marching in the lobby, Rin sent Hannah a look that could have turned Medusa into stone.
They burst through the double doors. Outside, the pair stopped before the doors. Hannah laughed as Gaara gave her an impassive expression. They were both so competitive and hated to lose, it was funny!
Blushing, Hannah shouldered her backpack and heaved a large suitcase with a smile and gave the Kazekage a wave, "Ja ne, Kazekage-sama!"
He nodded coolly. "Oyasuminasai, Hannah-san." He walked away.
"What did he say?" Hannah asked one of the shinobi who had kidnapped her.
"Good night."
"Oh, arigatou."
"I see you know 'thank you', and a little Japanese. Where did you learn it?"
Hannah didn't want to say she'd learned it from Youtube.
Oyasuminasai- good night
Arigatou- thank you
Arigatou gozaimasu- thank you (polite)
Ja ne- see you later
Kuso- shit