I'm going to go ahead and accept your guys' fan characters for cameo appearances again. Basically what happens is you send me a brief profile of your character, including name, age, species, and all that important crap, (I don't need his // her history, so don't add that), and message or e-mail it to me. Then, they'll appear in a chapter for a few paragraphs, do some stupid shit, and randomly disappear. However, this time I'm doing something different than before. If you want to see your character do something specifically, (ie. Pour liquid caramel into Spenser's fur while he's asleep), then I'll fit that in. If you have any other questions about this, leave a review or message me.
LOTUS GAVE UP ON CHAPTER TITLES
Did you expect to see Sonic and his friends at the door? Well, good, because they were. He, along with Amy and Tails, stepped into the house with bright smiles that seemed out of place in their household.
"Hey, you finally moved out of Blaze's castle." Sonic glanced around and placed his hands on anything that he deemed touchable. "Nice place. Hey, what's this?" He was suddenly smacked with a dirty dish towel that left him with a rather annoyingly sore neck. "Ow! Not cool, Silver!"
"I never gave you permission to touch anything." He stepped back and crossed his arms with the dirty dish towel still in his hands.
"Sonic, what did we talk about before we came here?" Amy had grown, but not by much. And, mentally, not at all.
"About how we're not married and how you should stop talking to me like we are." He returned her cold stare, having had enough of her antics, though they were still good friends.
"Just be nice," said she as she adverted her gaze. She had given up arguing, at least in public.
"So," Tails avoided standing too close to anything to keep from being hit with the dirty dish towel. "Where's Scourge and Spenser?"
Sonic glanced around again. "And, where's all the other kids we've been hearing about?"
Silver shot a look at his spouse, who responded with such a quick shoulder shrug that it seemed like a twitch. "Uh, they're out back, but breakfast is ready so let's eat first!" He said the latter swiftly, changing the subject.
"Awesome! I'm starving." Sonic found his way into the dining room beyond the kitchen. "Whoo, that's a big meal." He was already stuffing his face when the others sat down.
There's quite a lot to be said about the food that was prepared for them. Since the pretty ivory hedgehog resides on Omorui Island, deemed so by his daddy, they do not have the materials necessary to enjoy delicacies such as bacon, eggs, and sausage. And, also unlike our selfish human race, they've not really understood the taste of pork. Not saying that they haven't actually eaten it.
You see, back before Sonic's birth, pork was available in the store. But, it was very controversial on whether or not they should be eating their neighbors. Some said, 'Yes! There's nothing quite wrong with it as long as we mind our manners!' While others said, 'No! It's cannibalism!' Naturally pork was banned, and it was no surprise that the winning team was made up of filthy, squealing pigs.
"So, how've you been, Sonic?" Silver placed his fork down and folded his hands before him. He always believed manners to be an important part of a functioning society. Unfortunately, no one else in the household seemed to give a rat's ass.
"Great! I learned some new kung fu moves! I bet I could kick Scourge's butt in a fight now!" He pointed his fork at Shadow and eyed him. "I could do the same to you."
The ebony hedgehog continued eating like normal. "You can't even land a hit on Amy."
Sonic gave an uncaring shrug. "Pssh, she's a girl. I don't hit girls."
Shadow stopped and placed his fork down. "You're not too bright, are you Faker?" They narrowed their eyes at each other, neither blinking.
"Well, um," Silver turned to Amy with a smile. He hoped their ridiculous feud was over now that Shadow had married. "How about you, Amy? Anything new?"
Her precious smile faded and she spoke with a dark voice. "Don't talk to me." She turned back to her food.
He glanced at Tails, who shrugged a single shoulder with a small, apologetic smile. "I hope all of you are enjoying your breakfast," he said, a little annoyed. "Spenser brought everything from Earth."
For some reason, the air became heavier as everyone placed down their silverware, save for Shadow and Silver, who were momentarily confused. "E-Earth?" Sonic spat out the bacon he had in his mouth. "You mean you're feeding us pork?"
"It's not illegal on their planet." The ebony hedgehog was rather uncaring. "I don't see anything wrong with it."
"Aw, dude!" The cobalt hero jumped out of his chair. "I know people who are pigs – Man, that's nasty!" He coughed a few times before running out to find a bathroom.
"Tails glanced down at his plate. "Well…it's not that bad." He didn't want to admit that he rather enjoyed the taste of meat. Amy exited, following her self-proclaimed boyfriend.
Silver pushed his plate away with his fork. "Why don't we just skip breakfast, then?" A soft infant's cry alerted the ivory hedgehog to the other room.
Shadow continued eating. "You're all a bunch of pussies."
Outside, beyond the swimming pool, Spenser was, very poorly, teaching young Adam and Tihocan how to drive. After having explained what the phrase, 'Hey I drive stick, do you?' means, he proceeded to show them how to execute the proper right turn.
"Uncle Spenser! My foot cant' reach the pedals!"
"That's why I gave you that wooden block. Now, don't worry about switching to the other one to stop – That's what the emergency brake it for." He pulled it up to demonstrate, but it snapped off. "Ah well, you'll never use it anyway. Here, let me show you."
All of the unnecessary commotion awoke a sleeping green scientist. He rather enjoys his naps, and is often quite upset when woken during the day. Needless to say, Spenser would be in for an annoying earful of obscene words and harsh vocabulary. But, we will not linger on whether verbal abuse is exactly proper for training a disgruntled dog.
The couple and their guests eventually migrated into the living room, where petty conversation that no one could recall by evening would take place. A chrome tray was placed on the table that contained small white cups of sugar and cream. Sonic didn't much rather enjoy the taste of coffee, but took a small sip just to be polite.
"So," he paused to gag slightly and placed the cup down. "What's with the baby?"
The ivory hedgehog was holding that same cream-colored bundle. Inside contained an anthropomorphic Border Collie puppy no more than two weeks old. Her nose was still bright pink. The muzzle was white while her face has patches of black around her unopened eyes connecting to thick stripes of the same shade that attached to her back fur design, which was also black. She oftentimes wrapped her small fingers around Silver's, and captured the heart of a once careless ebony spouse.
"What do you mean?" Silver was very protective, and didn't feel comfortable speaking about her.
So the careless ebony hedgehog spoke up. "We got her from the orphanage. They didn't have any room for her, nor the money to purchase the correct formula. So we took her in. She's really quite during the afternoon. But…not so any other time."
Amy was suddenly interested in their conversation. "Aw, poor Shadow. He'll never be able to have children like me and Sonic."
The blue hedgehog cringed. "I'd rather shove my penis in a blender." His words earned a small chuckle from Tails.
"What's her name?" The fox stood to get a better look.
Silver held the child close to his chest, paranoid one wrong look would mentally scar her, though she still couldn't see to begin with. "Her name is Pandora." His small hedgehog ears folded back in a threatening way as Tails stepped forward.
"He's crazy when it comes to her," Shadow warned, "If I were you, I'd back off." He'd tell them about what happened when Spenser held her, but no one honestly cared about the Shepherd. The fox sat down.
At that moment in time, and perhaps a fraction of a second after Tails' bottom hit the cushion, a screeching sound made all of them jump. Soon after, the bright red, eco-friendly, (as to avoid complaints from environmentalists), Hummer known as Betsy came crashing through the front door. Spenser was at the wheel.
"Oh! Uh, hey guys!" He glanced around, realizing he wasn't quite where he should be. "Sorry everyone. Betsy just wanted a cup of coffee." The vehicle's headlights blinked twice, indicating that the dog was lying. "Sorry for the scare," he said, shifting gears. The bright red, eco-friendly Hummer backed out of the house and returned to the garage.
Speaking of which, let's switch our own gears for a moment while they recover. Now, obviously, this lovely group isn't alone on the oddly-name island. Save for daddy Ellsworth, there is one more character that has an important function within the plot of this story. Not as important as the others, however, which gives us the freedom to reduce her salary and spend the saved money on more useful things like a new, unnecessary desktop computer.
Naturally, we're talking about Princess Blaze, (the cat.) Having found a way back to her original world from that of Sonic Rush, Blaze's temperament has been, well, altered. No longer is she the strong, mother-like, best friend of a certain feminine and happily married ivory hedgehog, but rather an 'everyone-is-an-idiot-but-me' personality. Courage is needed to be a good leader, and she oftentimes does that rather well. Yet, with nothing to express this bravery, she's become bored with her life.
So what precisely does this have to do with the now re-reconstructed house and the adults whom names all being with the letter 's'? Blaze, like most of the crazed females and mary sues roaming Mobius and its different forms, believes a friendship never dies. And thus, she wishes to move to a more populated area along with Silver and his family. Unfortunately, he really doesn't want to go with her.
Now, understand this: poor, fatherly Silver was never truly accepted into society. As a child he was weak and frail, both mentally and physically. He was harassed, beaten, teased, and pushed around by older, stronger, faster hedgehogs. So generally, he doesn't want the same to happen with his children and would rather have them live in a small village as such than an overpopulated city. Blaze is stubborn, however, and is currently on her way to persuade the members of the re-reconstructed house, and, unbeknownst to her, their guests.
Who were, at this time, still clinging to their seats from the horrid event that just plagued them. The married couple seemed unnerved, as this sort of stuff happens almost daily. "Does anyone want more coffee?"
"Coffee?" Sonic was rather annoyed by this odd gesture. "I was almost run over and you're offering me coffee?"
Silver stood, returning baby Pandora to a nearby crib to continue her nap. "I've got tea."
"Oh, what kind?" His voice suddenly turned from angered to interested.
"I'm not sure. I think I still have a box of Japanese green tea left in the kitchen." The two made their leave.
Tea and coffee is not available on Mobius, (not yet at least), so the gang depends on Scourge and Spenser's monthly trips to Earth for food and, namely, entertainment. The Shepherd is a big buyer of video games and gaming devices for a certain Xbox 360 dubbed 'Mr. Hax0rz.' It had a shiny black finish with beer bottles and skulls on the side in a random design. Its name is plated on the face. But, therein lies another problem for the family: money. Americans are very greedy, as is the rest of Earth, and unlike Mobians who measure products in bountiful 'rings', they have their own odd form of currency.
It's paper, which doesn't seem to make much sense to them. Why is a material that is so important to the environment and everyday life used as currency? Regardless of their beliefs, they need that money for the products. Whether they receive a paycheck from a daily eight-hour shift, or take it from someone else is confidential. Whatever tactic they use, it seems to work very well. Scourge believes it to be because humans are incredibly stupid.
"Hey, are you guys making tea?" Spenser poked his head in though the open kitchen window. "What kind? You should give Spenser some."
The ivory hedgehog resisted the urge to smack him with the dirty dish towel. "After you fix my living room."
"Aww," he whined, ears bent back. "But, it was Betsy's fault!"
"Spenser." He dragged the name out in a threatening tone.
"KayKay. I'll fix it." He left to seek out Scourge's cunning mind. It was filled with excuses that could easily get him out of such a situation.
We haven't much gotten into anything quite funny, have we? No, not yet exactly. But, we've much in store for readers of this story: family visits to Earth, a romantic week alone for the married couple, a zombie outbreak, and rather a handful more of things. Thus being, our tale shall be longer, yet not by much, than our previous failures. But, before we move from the petty coffee and biscuits, there's one more thing we need to do.
Later in the day, while the ebony husband was repairing the living room wall and the Shepherd was relaxing upstairs in his room with a horror game called 'Dead Space', something odd happened. His screen flickered. The words 'Game Over' in colorful lettering had interrupted his game. He straightened himself and cocked an eyebrow, wondering what improbable situation was going to befall him. Evil laughter echoed throughout the room.
"Ah!" He jumped backward as the television set exploded. In its place stood a brown fox. He threw his head back and laughed wildly. "OMG." Spenser oftentimes spelled things out as such rather than slenderizing religion. "It's Ben! He's back from the dead to destroy me!"
"I never died!" Spenser bit his bottom lip to keep him from saying anything stupid. "I am impervious…to…death and…other things…" His voice trailed off and he went cross-eyed, having confused himself. After a minute or two of awkward silence, the Shepherd tried to step back, but his rival's sudden evil laughter caused him to jump. "Bwahahahaha…ah…ah…AH-CHOO!" Out of those poor, tortured nostrils came a sharp, double-edged sword.
They both stared at it, dumbfounded. "Does that happen often?" Spenser pointed.
"Quite recently, yes." Ben's brain clicked as he realized he could use such a weapon to slay his opponent.
And, he did.
But, as Ben continued to gaze upon the blood that had spilled due to Spenser, he realized something: his beautiful hooded sweatshirt would get blood upon it, and perhaps soak into his equally beautiful grey shirt. So, he tossed the sword over his shoulder, puffed up his cheeks, and spat out a large green and white umbrella. Now, with the proper protection, he could move on to killing the remainder of the house.
Don't worry, Spenser will be fine. He has a respawn point in the basement. As will the other adults whose names all begin with the letter 's'. And, why is that? Because at that very moment, something improbable happened: Ben, as much of an ass kicker as he was, had combusted into flames. Which is rather ironic since he wanted to keep his clothes tidy.
Lise-chan:: Lawl, yeah. Spenser's the worst babysittier ever. Thanks for commenting.
Solunea:: OMG. Don't remind me about the other two. They're horrible. I hate them. But, I'm glad you like this. Thanks for reviewing.
Crazy Muffin Assassin:: They yo momma's kids. Lawl, they're orphans. I guess I should've explained that. Thanks for the review! xD
IluvSilverShadow:: I don't think you'd want Spenser near you at all. He's just one of those people you admire from afar. LOL. Thanks for reviewing this, means alot!
Sukaiburu Kitsune:: A~WUT? No way - That's all you type. Psssssssshhh, girl I type 10k words a day at least. C'mon and exercise dem fingers! (That's what she said.) I want Spenser to be my brother. So I can lawl at him when he does something stupid. OMG, he'd be the best big brother eva. Thanks for reviewing!