Things are getting a little crazy. I think there are about three chapters left for me to write after this one. I will finish this story.

Susan hurried down the busy sidewalk ignoring the hustle of London, this place was wearing on her just as much as the country was. Was there anywhere on earth that she could find peace? Suddenly she slammed into someone who was walking toward her.

"Sorry sir," she said bending down to gather up the papers that were in her arms, she had been carrying some note Peter had written on Narnia to his old professor. The man bent down to help her gather them.

"You're Susan Pevensie!" he said with excitement staring at one of the papers! He stood up at the same time as her and handed her the papers he had gathered up fro her.

"Yes," she said with annoyance wishing she could be someone else at that moment, she hated her life!

"This is great," the man said, "I am a reporter for the New York Times on vacation here in London. We've been fascinated with your work for years but recently there's been nothing out from you. Me and a few other of my co-workers were also enchanted by your brothers book!"

"I'm not a writer anymore," Susan said in a insistent voice, "I just want to get away from that world forever." She started to walk but stopped as soon as she realized what she had said. It seemed that she ran away from every world that people involved her in. She had just been fired from a job but was she really such a coward to leave writing all together? It was something that she had dedicated herself to! The beautiful flourishes of reporting news, events, tragedies and the lovely flair of writing opinions and stories. This was something she had worked for and now she was giving it up?

"That's too bad," the man said, "I am here researching your family actually and I was wondering if you could tell me anything about the magical world you and your family went to." Susan's thoughts were interrupted and completely sent on a different path with that question. Did people really believe that she believed in a magical world?

"That..." Susan stopped for a moment as memories flooded of trees and fields, mountains and valleys, rivers and streams, snow and spring. Her smile faded as she realized that those were memories not imaginations, but how? Her walls flew up again as she answered the man quickly, "that was a fantasy that helped us escape the realities of war and the sadness of mankind. What do you expect children to war torn London to do when they loose everything that was ever important to them? Honestly it's getting rather annoying that people think that I actually believe there is another world running beside our own, its insane. It simply isn't true." The man looked at her disappointed and she could not understand why. Why would someone want her to believe in a fantasy? Then another question hit her; why did Peter want her to believe in a fantasy?

"You know it's always been in mans nature to believe in something more," he said, "it seems all of London wanted to believe a few months back but how could they with no one to set the example for them."

"Sir, I don't believe," she said, "I'm done." With that she walked away, she didn't know where her heart was going but in that moment she knew that the only way to escape it was to leave it all behind.

"What is all this?" C.S Lewis asked her as she put a pile of papers on the desk in front of him along with a couple of books and paintings.

"Peter's notes, Edmunds journals," Susan stated, "it's all here along with Lucy's paintings, everything you need to explore this fantasy." He stood up and looked at the stack in front of him.

"Susan," he sighed as he watched the broken girl sit down, "have you ever believed in God?"

"No," she said quickly before composing herself to continue, "I mean my family went to church when I was a little girl but I haven't gone in years and I never really paid attention. I was well taught in school and I never fell into the trap of believing in god. Logic clearly dictates that there is no all powerful being watching over us. Tell me if there was someone so wonderful then why do people die, it makes no sense to explain the world in that way." He then stood up and walked toward a bookshelf.

"This is my bible," he said pulling out a book, "and from it I learned to answer many of life's questions. Through life i have discovered that there are two types of people: Those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says "All right, then, have it your way." Susan looked at him confused, "God's will governs the world we live in even if you don't believe in him. Susan maybe he has never shown himself to you because you've never wanted him too. He has let you have things your way up to this point in your life and it seems though now he is determined to show himself to you whether you like it or not."

"Then he killed my family because I don't believe in him?" Susan scoffed, "I just don't believe that the loving god that is taught about in church would do such a thing. My family died because the train slipped the tracks, that's the only way to explain it."

"No God didn't kill your family and it wasn't just a train accident," He responded, "you see though our feelings come and go, God's love for us does not. He loves you Susan though you reject him, and through life you will discover that when people die it is because they have run their race and the days of their life were spent and since they were done they were able to enter into the joy of a world without pain."

"But then how could he let me hurt so much if he really cared," Susan said as tears entered her eyes, "If he is real then why doesn't he comfort me now?"

"Susan," Lewis looked down, "We were promised sufferings. They were part of the program. We were even told, ''Blessed are they that mourn." But In the end of our suffering there will be joy as we are given the strength to pass through it all."

"Well I don't have any strength left," Susan said standing up and walking toward the door before turning around and saying, "I am selling the estate I inherited if your interested it's where those fantasies got started. I'm going to move to America, the place where my mind first cleared and where I first truly discovered the foolishness of a child's imaginations."

"Susan I wish you all the best in the world and I know Peter would too if he were still here," With that Professor Lewis sat back at his desk, "I let you go with these parting words. Dig deeper in your heart and you'll know the truth of what is haunting you." She said her goodbyes before leaving the house for the last time. She wasn't going to go through this anymore. England had torn everything from her and she hated it.

She boarded the train headed for the country on her last journey out there. Once she left that place she had no intention of returning. She stayed awake through the entire journey too sacred to sleep and too scared to see what laid inside her subconscious mind. She was going insane trying to block these "memories" of Narnia. She didn't want the pain that came with them, she didn't want to face the fear of getting swallowed by the things that had passed. Her heart fought with her head as it wanted the memories she blocked from her mind.

I still remember the world from the eyes of a child

The wind seemed to sing to her through the window of the train.

Where has my heart gone,
An uneven trade for the real world
I want to go back to
Believing in everything and knowing nothing else

She blocked the sounds out of her mind and looked out the window. There in the distance she thought she saw a Lion and a little girl standing on the hillside. She turned away wishing for peace.

Where has my heart gone
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger
I want to go back to believing in everything...

"I can't," she whispered as tears flowed out of her eyes.

She stepped off the train and was greeted by no one. There was no Mrs. Mcready to drive her back in the little horse carriage this time and no one to greet her. She hadn't heard from Alex since their argument and the distance between them did heart a bit but her heart had been hurting for so long she barely acknowledged it.

The large looming home didn't comfort her, nor did the greeting of the caretaker. She was numb and alone. She walked into her room and saw something lying on the bed, a picture frame and when she flipped it over she was stunned, the broken heart she had been trying to hold together was shattered once again as the truth of what she had really lost hit her like a thousand pounds of hard cold brick. A memory flowed into her mind that she couldn't deny with the proof if it sitting in her hands and in that moment she hated herself more than anything else. She had laid everything she was aside as time had gone on and now she would never get it back because of her own foolishness.

Hmmm. The end is near. It feels good to be almost done. I had some fun with the chapter even though it is kinda short. I incorporated some real quotes from CS Lewis in his conversation with Susan. I felt that at that moment the talk of God wouldn't be uncalled for, it kinda fit the spirit of the story in my opinion since it is about rejection and rediscovery. It made sense that if Susan had rejected Narnia than she had also rejected belief in God.

SO now I say please REVIEW!! REVIEW!! I got no reviews last chaper and it was sad so REVIEW!

-WintersChill.