Hey, I know summer vacation's over for just about everybody, but I'll continue with this story anyway...

(I own nothing.)
It was a peaceful evening. Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight were hanging out—or, in other words, MAKING out—by the lake when Brambleclaw noticed something shiny.

"Hey, look! Something shiny!" he exclaimed, poking it with a stick.

"What is it?" Squirrelflight asked. "Is it a bomb?!"

"I think it's a lighter."

"Really? Cool! Let's go burn Shadowclan to a crisp!"

"Nah……I have a better idea!" With that, Brambleclaw pulled out a bag of marshmallows from…..uh…..I guess nowhere. (O.o)

Squirrelflight got the idea and pulled a couple packs of hotdogs out of nowhere. She grinned at Brambleclaw, who grinned back, and together they shouted:

"CAMPFIRE TIME! YAY!!"

By the next hour, Thunderclan were all sitting together around the campfire roasting marshmallows and hotdogs.

"You all want to know what I think?" Firestar asked.

"No!" chorused the other cats.

"I think," Firestar continued anyway, "that we should sing a song!"

"Ooooooh!" everyone else said.

"Uh….what song?" Lionpaw asked.

"Any song would be fine..."

Suddenly Spongebob appeared (Oh no…) and started to sing:

Let's gather 'round the campfire,
And sing our campfire song
The C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song
And if you don't think that we can sing it faster
Then you're wrong
But it would help if you just sing along...

"AAAAHH!" Firestar screamed. "Anything but that!"

Spongebob pouted and disappeared. (Yay!)

"I got a song!" Hollypaw announced, holding up a hotdog.

"Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Weiner;

That is what I'd truly like to be!

Cause if I..."

"No!" Jaypaw interupted. "This song's better:

My boloney has a first name;

It's O-S-C-A-R!

My boloney has a second name;

It's M-A-Y-E-R!"

Bramblclaw, who had eaten too many marshmallows, groaned, "Oh, please don't sing about food…"

Lionpaw: Pat a cake, pat a cake;

Baker's man!

Bake me a cake as fast as you can!

"I said stop!"

Hollypaw: Pease porridge hot!

Pease porridge cold!

Pease porridge in a pot

Nine days old!

"I'll ground you kids if you don't quit singing!"

Jaypaw: Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts,

Multiliated monkey meat,

Chopped up birdie feet!

"SHUTUP!"

They did. The deputy sighed with relief.

"Snap

Crackle

Pop!

Rice Krispies," Icekit squeaked.

Brambleclaw covered his mouth and scurried off to find a place to throw up.

Firestar blinked. "Well….if a song won't work, then….how's about a ghost story? Whooooo!" he whispered, wriggling his fingers...er….front toes.

"Um, dude? You're not being that scary," Birchfall told him.

"I agree!" piped up Lionpaw. "Perhaps I should tell the story."

"Yay, Storytime!" Foxkit squealed.

"Well, alright," Firestar said, just as Brambleclaw returned and sat down. "Go ahead, Lionpaw."

"OK, here we go!" Lionpaw exclaimed, standing up. He thought for a moment, and then, in a creepy voice, began the tale:

It was a cold, cruel, eerie night in Thunderclan territory. A tom cat warrior named Brambleclaw was guarding the campsite entrance, shivering in the chilly wind and wondering if the sun would soon rise. Out in the forest he could see nothing but fog and the dark shapes of the rocks and trees…

Then, suddenly, Brambleclaw saw a figure out in the fog, its amber eyes glowing in the dark. The mysterious cat crept closer and closer. Brambleclaw, shaking with fear, called out:

"Who's there?"

The phantom feline stopped. Brambleclaw could hear a low, menacing growl coming from it. Finally it replied:

"Surely, Son, you DO know who I am?"

The Thunderclan warrior sprang to his paws in shock.

"TIGERSTAR!"

The spirit of the evil cat laughed cruelly.

"Yes, but please…call me Dad!"

"Never!" Brambleclaw growled.

"Come with me, Brambleclaw, and we shall rule the world as Father and Son! Muahahahahahahahahaha!!" Tigerstar cackled.

"Make me!"

The ambitious cat glared, growled again, and replied in a dark voice:

"Very well."

Just then, to his horror, Brambleclaw was surrounded with many dark spirits of the evil cats of the past. Scourge and some of Bloodclan were among them, "Bwahahahahahahahaha"—ing evilly.

"Help!" Brambleclaw screeched as the ghosts closed in on him. "Help! HELP ME!!"

But his cries weren't heard.

The next morning, it was Ashfur's turn to guard the entrance. When he got there, Brambleclaw was nowhere to be seen.

And in Shadowclan, once Tawnypelt's turn to guard her camp came around, she found these words scratched in the dirt at her feet:

YOU'RE NEXT!

"…..The End!" Lionpaw finished cheerfully. He looked around at his audience, who were in awe.

Then, all of these things happened:

The kits began to cry.

The apprentices shivered in fright and looked around, as if expecting Tigerstar to jump out and attack at any second.

Firestar just sat there, staring at nothing in particular and whimpering.

Leafpool decided to go to the Moonpool right then and there, so she could ask Starclan if it were possible that something similar to Lionpaw's story could happen.

Just about everyone else was freaking out and scurrying off into their dens to write their wills.

And Brambleclaw? Well….he fainted.

Poor kitty.