Authors Note: I can't spell for the life of me, so there may be some misspelled word and/or names coming up. Let me know if you see them and if you know how to spell them correctly. Oh, and a huge thanks to lgmtreader who beated this for me. She really helped me work through the slight issue I was having around the middle of this. Hopefully this is all worked out.
Disclaimer: Oh if only, if only.
The next time he woke up was quicker. The pain wasn't as intense and the smells were different. Lisbon wasn't there. But there was a smell he recognized. A subtle musk sent that was unmistakable. He opened his eyes slowly taking in the sight of the small man sitting in the same chair Lisbon had been in earlier.
"Cho, to what do I owe this pleasant surprise?" Jane said. His voice sounded slightly slurred and he wondered if by chance he had been given more pain medication while he was asleep.
"Lisbon didn't want you to be alone when you woke up."
"Why isn't she here?" Jane struggled to sit but decided against it, the pain in his side flared up when he tried to bend at the waist. Instead he reached behind his head and pushed the pillow in tighter to raise his head.
"You know she didn't do anything too horrible." Cho said straightening in his chair.
"What are you talking about?" He was confused. Why did what she pulled on him have anything to do with why she wasn't here. And yes it was horrible.
"Think about it man. How many times have you done something behind her back to get a suspect? Or lied to her to prove that you were right?"
"What does that have to do with anything?" He was starting to get angry, but he tried not to show it. He wasn't mad at Cho, he was mad at Lisbon. Still, some of the anger was finding its way into his voice.
"I get it, you're mad at Lisbon. She didn't say anything about it, I could just tell. Hell, the attorney general could probably tell. But she simply did what you do every day to her. She had an inside angle and instead of telling you, because she knew you'd find a way to screw it up, to make it so that we were so far behind you that we couldn't stop you from doing whatever it was that you were planning on doing, she kept it from you. Not that it mattered. You did it anyway. You're just mad because she almost pulled it off."
"I got stabbed. She could have prevented that if she had just told me what was going on."
"Really? If Lisbon had told you that we had an inside track to Red John would you have just let it go? Would you have waited for it to play out? Would you have taken her with you to meet with him? Would you have let it happen the way she wanted it to happen?"
Jane didn't say anything, just sat there thinking as Cho continued. "I wasn't there, I don't know what happened, but I can tell you that none of us really believe that Red John was waiting there for you with just a knife. Or that you had gone unarmed. But it's Lisbon's word against a serial killer, so I'm pretty sure that they're going to believe her story."
"Her story? Where is she?" Jane felt like a broken record constantly asking where Lisbon was. He hadn't thought about it the way that Cho had just pointed out
"She's talking to the review board. Like we have to do every time we fire our guns. Only this time she has to explain why you were stabbed too. Now that you're awake, I'm leaving. I'll tell her you asked about her."
He got up to leave and Jane stopped him. "Wait, did all of you know about the guy, Bill, who was following her that night?"
"No. Rigsby may have known there at the end but he didn't say anything if he did. Not until we got the call telling us to come out." With that he turned and left the room.
Jane settled back into his bed. He hadn't asked how long he'd been out, but it couldn't be more than a day or two if Lisbon was just now meeting with the review board. And she was covering for him. It wasn't something he thought she would even do. Cover for him like that. What was she telling them? That it had been the plan all along for him to go in alone? How was she going to explain Red John stabbing him? He shook his head slightly to clear it.
Focusing on the facts he thought back to what of the conversation he could remember from when he had been awake before. He had been mad when he found out that Lisbon had been playing him all along. But Cho had a point. How was what she did any different from what he did on a daily basis? Sure, his plans didn't usually involve anyone getting stabbed, and other than that one time when he was trapped in that burning barn, he wasn't usually in danger. Ok, so once someone had gotten shot because of what he brought to light, but really, the man had killed his own daughter when she had refused to keep having sex with him. He deserved to get shot.
Ok, so he'd been almost shot when he went to see that Russian mobster about that stolen painting, and when he went to play golf with Sunny Batalia. But really, those were the only times. Apparently mobsters of any nationality just didn't care for him. Wait, and that doctor who tried to mimic Red John, and rather poorly, but that didn't really count, he was aiming wide anyway. It was rare for anyone else to get hurt in his plans. There was just that one time when his plan had been for Sophie to get shot in order to catch a killer. Sure Lisbon didn't know that was the plan, but at the same time, she wouldn't have let him do it if she had known. But other than that, his schemes were always well played. Oh ok—and he was almost shot that one time in the basement when they were so close to Red John.
He thought about what would have happened if Lisbon hadn't come in early that time, he would be dead. There was no doubt about it. And if she hadn't come in when she had today—or was it last night—he would probably be dead. How many times had she made it clear to her that killing Red John was his goal? How many times had he told her that he lived for vengeance? If they hadn't had Bill working with Red John, Jane probably would be dead right now. Someone else would have been following Lisbon and she might not have made it in time.
He thought about the conversation he'd had with Red John. Jane had been willing to give his life for Lisbon when he didn't realize that she had been playing him. Why was it any different now? Was it that he had been the one who was lied to?
His head still felt light, like it had when he had been given the pain medication while Lisbon was there. He had to talk to her, to tell her that no matter what, no matter what would have happened to him as long as she was alive it was ok. He remembered that once she had insisted that given the choice he would chose life over death. And he realized that he did. He picked her life over her death. And he would do it any day of the week.
He had to tell her that despite the fact that she had lied to him to achieve her preferred ending in the situation, he had still picked her life. He had still chosen her. His thoughts circled around and around in his head chasing each other and he hadn't even realized that he'd fallen asleep again until his eyes jerked open.
He looked around trying to figure out what it had been that had caused him to wake up so abruptly and spotted her almost immediately.
"Lisbon." It wasn't loud, more like he was just breathing her name.
"Jane, I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you up."
"It's ok. I was thinking about you."
"Really?" She sat in the chair that was still pulled up next to his bed.
"Yea. Cho was here earlier. We talked a little." Lisbon opened her mouth to say something but Jane cut her off. "He helped me realize that what you did, not telling me about Bill, wasn't anything different than what I do to you almost every case. And I realized something else. I realized that Red John gave me a choice, your life or his, and I picked you. I made my choice. I decided to let you live. I didn't care if I survived. I don't know if I've cared about my life since my family was killed by that monster. But I did care about your life. I don't think I could have lived knowing that something in my actions caused you to die. No amount of vengeance could change that."
"Jane, I don't—I don't know what to say. I came here to apologize to you, for keeping you out of the loop. I should have told you. But, well, I just didn't know what you would do. You've always been kind of a wild card. Whenever I think I've got you figured out, you do something to surprise me."
"Like this?" Jane asked in a joking way.
"Yeah, like this." They sat in silence for a while, neither feeling the need to talk.
"What did you tell the review board?" Jane asked after a while. He was starting to doze off and wanted to know before he fell asleep again.
"I told them that Red John had acted faster than we thought he was going to and that you had willingly volunteered to go in and catch him, knowing that there was the chance that you might be injured. You're going to have to testify about what Red John told you, but, other than that everything should be fine. Red John should be in jail for a good long time to come. We shouldn't have to worry about him again."
Jane nodded. It was hard to believe, but, Red John wasn't going to be able to torment him anymore. True, Red John wasn't dead. But then, neither was he. Or more importantly, Lisbon was alive and well. It looked like he may have for once in his life made the right choice.