Chapter 5

I heard voices on the other side of the door but I wasn't able to move. I really had no idea what to do. My whole existence was planned and centered around Edward. I move to the bed and collapse again. I know he won't leave but I don't have anywhere else to go. This was going to be really awkward for a while.

CPOV

I decided to leave after Bella came by. Truthfully, I had done enough work for the rest of the week and all that remained was clinical work. Work had helped me keep my mind out of depression somewhat, but I knew that it would just push me further away from my family. Esme would want us to stay together and so did I.

When I did step through the door, I heard a heated argument upstairs. Looking around, I was expecting it to have been Emmett and Rosalie but they were both downstairs. Edward and Bella never argued. It was hard not to listen to every word that was being said. Bella sounded as if she was fighting for their relationship to stay strong. What was said next completely floored me and I winced noticeably after it was said.

"What? You loved Esme as a lover?! You selfish, sick bastard! Well newsflash Edward, she's dead and I'm still here. And I'll be damned if I let you walk out of my life over a dead woman!"

How could Edward feel that way? How dare he! I felt my hands ball up into fists as anger surged through me. Jasper came over to me and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"It was one-sided Carlisle. Esme only loved you." Jasper assured me. I accepted the waves of calm being sent through me.

"Still, how could he do that to Bella?" I asked still dumbfounded.

"Because the boy's off his rocker. Has been since the beginning I'd say." Rosalie scoffed. A door slammed and we all ran up the steps. The guest room door was closed, and Edward was standing in the doorway to his room.

"Edward, what's wrong with you? You love Bella! I know it and you know it!" Alice stomped up to him accusingly. Edward was at a loss for words. He looked at each of us.

"I'm sorry but I don't feel the same way, I'd change it if I could but I can't fool myself." He shrugged. Muffled sobs came from the guest room. Effectively distracting me from my disappointment in Edward, I stride over and knock upon the door.

BPOV

"Bella, can I come in please?" I heard Carlisle ask quietly. Thinking about his request, I decide that I had enough of a pity party for one.

"If you want." I sit up and run my hand across my face, almost willing myself to feel better. Carlisle walks in, closing the door behind him and sits next to me.

"So, I talked to him. Ended up ruining my life."

"Bella, I know it hurts but would you have rather lived a lie? Lived in a relationship that was one-sided? You wouldn't have been satisfied with that." Carlisle pulled me close in a hug.

"Yes. Yes I would have. I love him so much, even if he doesn't feel the same way I don't know how to be without him. He was my everything and I thought I was his. I wish he did die, as selfish as that sounds, at least I would of remembered him as loving me only." I wrapped both arms around Carlisle and broke down yet again. We stayed in this position for awhile.

"I know things look dark right now but happiness will find you again. I didn't believe that and I lost that hope when I lost Esme, but you helped give it back. And I also believe that every one of us gets at least one time to be selfish." Carlisle smiled at me. Pulling me up with him as he stands, and brings me towards the door.

"Woah woah, wait a second. I agree that I shouldn't mope but at the same time, I'm not too sure that I'm ready to see Edward yet."

"Sure you are, you don't want Edward to know that he has this much power over you. You don't have to talk to him if you don't want to. Just act like he's not even there."

"You're right, let's go." Opening the door to the guest room, the hallway was deserted. Everyone was downstairs, and with an unneeded sigh Carlisle and I descended.

"Well, I'll be in my study if anyone needs me." Carlisle informed before disappearing. I see Alice reading some fashion magazine along with Rosalie. Emmett is playing checkers with Jasper. I notice that Edward is over on his piano, his eyes flicker to mine and I quickly look away. Picking up the remote, I plop down next to Alice and turn on the tv.

Music comes from the piano and I immediately identify it as what was supposed to be my lullaby. I turned the tv volume up only for "All by Myself" to be playing in "Bridget Jones' Diary." That's it, someone officially hates me, they have to. Turning the channel, Edward has yet to cease his emotional turmoil. Jasper stops his game and looks at me, concerned.

"Edward, why are you playing that song?" I asked annoyed.

"You seem tense and your lullaby always seemed to calm you down before." Edward replied like it was the obvious thing in the world.

"Well, it really isn't my lullaby anymore is it? If it ever was anyway. So do us all a favor and cut out the noise."

"Alright, I won't play it if it bothers you Bella, but this is my piano and as long as it works then I'm going to play it." Edward said. I heard him getting up and grab his car keys.

'As long as it works huh?' I thought already forming a plan.

"Great idea Bella!" Alice winked at me. I guess she already saw me going through with it.

((AN: There's my update. Still on vaca! So….if I can write while I'm on vacation, well then..you can review right? Right. Please and thank you!))