Disclaimer: Prince of Tennis was created by Konomi Takeshi. Not me. Please don't sue.
AN: Thank you. I cannot say that enough. This is for you all. RyoSaku rules! There will be more fics on this pairing from me, so look for it.
Enjoy.
Healing
By Cinpii
--sound effect--
--bam--
"Ryoma-kun no baka," Sakuno muttered as she swung her racket with more force than necessary.
--bam--
"Take that."
--bam--
"And that."
--bam--
"And that."
--bambambam--
"And that!" Ryuzaki Sakuno sucked in a deep breath and swung her racket with all the strength her young, feminine body could muster.
--BAM--
In a smooth, nonchalant manner, one that told of honed reflexes due to countless experience dodging self-inflicted missiles, she calmly moved her head to the right, narrowly missing the flying green projectile that whizzed by her ear.
The pretty girl sighed in exasperation as she ran slim fingers through silky mahogany colored bangs. Grr... that was the third ball she'd have to fetch since coming to the wall to practice. Her small hand tightened around the thick handle of her racket, knuckles turning white by the force of the unrelenting grip.
With an irritated huff, she pivoted and started her search, marching across the concrete and then through the short clipped grass to where the first ball lay. Two neatly braided pigtails bounced lightly against her polo-clad torso and cascaded over her shoulders. The ends tickled her bare thighs as she squat down to fetch the errant fuzzy sphere.
Looking upon the object in her hands, delicate pink lips tightened into a firm line. A slender eyebrow irked in displeasure at the small cap adorned caricature that irritatingly smirked back at her.
Ugh, what was she thinking when she drew that?
It was a cute idea at the time, Sakuno recalled, back when she and Tomo-chan pooled their money to buy a pair of tennis balls. To mark them, Sakuno, in her stupid puppy love brilliance, had drawn chibi Ryoma faces on them. They had giggled at the time, enjoying their mutual infatuation with the same boy. They had looked at the balls with fondness.
Now, looking at the balls only served to irritate her. She did not like to be reminded of the time when she was so foolishly smitten over the cocky jerk. On the other hand, Sakuno derived a wicked sense of pleasure out of literally smacking Echizen Ryoma in the face.
It was an outlet for her, a way to release her pent up frustration. Pounding tennis balls against the wall was immensely satisfying. Ironically, not only did it relieve her ire, all that practice was improving her technique.
That was, when she could concentrate long enough to hit the balls properly, and not whack at them angrily. When she was focused, her form was easy and natural. Distracted was a different story.
Today was not her day it seemed. Her focus was off and it was all his fault. Sakuno closed her eyes and sat back on her heels, thinking back to what had happened that day so long ago. No matter what she did, it always came back to that day. Part of her wished that she had never overheard his careless words, but the other part of her was grateful that she had. It was better to have one's illusions shattered sooner than later, she thought. It was less painful that way.
And they were certainly illusions, Sakuno mused, breathing deeply and getting up. She strode to where her second ball lay. This one had gone much further than the first and was quite a distance away.
She felt so stupid thinking back on that day, and vowed that she would never again let herself be so vulnerable. Because it hurt. It hurt so much.
Unbidden, tears welled up and Sakuno angrily dashed them aside. Why was she crying?! He wasn't worth her tears, she told herself over and over as the liquid crystals ran faster down her smooth cheeks.
He was just a dumb boy and she was just a silly girl for falling for him. But no matter how many times Sakuno would tell herself that, it did not lessen the pain in her heart. The pain that Echizen Ryoma created.
Not even one month had passed, but things had changed. Irrevocably, and she would not have it any other way. She was stronger now, her innocent heart shattered that day so long ago...
Was it really just a month? It felt so much longer than that. She had changed in such a short amount of time. She had become harder, more jaded. Having one's heart crushed so carelessly tended to do that. It made the victim more wary of showing their emotions lest they be trodden upon again.
Sakuno was by no means a spiteful creature, but she embodied the phrase 'once bitten, twice shy' to the letter. Never again would she offer her heart to someone unless she was sure her feelings were returned. It just hurt too much.
She recalled the day before her world had turned upside down. It was a Saturday, practice was ending and the freedom of the rest of the weekend was looming near. Obaachan had promised her for weeks that she would take her to the city to get her racket restrung. Sakuno had eagerly looked forward to it, counting the days. It wasn't often that Obaachan had free time to spend with her so each moment was coveted.
It was a big deal to get one's racket restrung. To loosen the strings so much that they loss their original tension spoke volumes of one's ability. It was Sakuno's first time ever, and she was excited. She had practiced so many hours, gotten so many blisters, but it was worth it. She could tell that she was getting better, and the satisfaction was gratifying.
She had been so disappointed when Obaachan couldn't make it. But then her grandmother did something that Sakuno never thought she would. Part of her died from the embarrassment, but the other part was secretly overjoyed.
Obaachan called Ryoma over and made him take her place. Sakuno was shocked at first, then frantic. She was going to spend one on one time with Echizen Ryoma and she was stunned. To be alone with him, the person her young heart had pined after for so long, it was just brain numbing.
She thought of all the hours in a day he must have spent practicing, playing, breathing tennis to get to the level he was at. To be so good at something, to excel in something and make it all your own, she was simply awed by it. Here was a kid, a boy her age, and he was already so far advanced, his talent so out of reach.
Part of the reason she had liked him so much was because she looked up to him. It amazed her how someone her age could possess such incredible skill. It made her want that same fire she saw in his eyes. She took up tennis not to get close to him, (although that didn't hurt) but so that she could understand him better.
She wanted to know about this mysterious boy. She had so many questions for him. She wanted to know what he liked and disliked, what his hopes and goals were, why he played tennis, and what drove him. What made him tick? What made him practice for hours on end? And it surely must have been, to be playing at the level he was at.
What drove him to be so great? She thought that if she played tennis, she might be able to understand him just the tiniest bit. It would be something they could connect over, bond over maybe.
She was inexorably drawn to him and she liked the feelings he invoked in her. It was the first time she met someone who made her heart palpitate the way it did when he was near and Sakuno liked the feeling.
She did not spend much time with him. Admiring him quietly suited her just fine. She was not as outspoken as Tomo-chan and she didn't want to be. Sakuno was content nursing her one sided infatuation and grateful just for the chance to know someone as great as Echizen Ryoma. Though her heart yearned for more, it was happy with the rare tidbits of kindness that he tossed her. She had cherished each and every word he said to her and if she followed him, it was because she wanted to bask in his radiance.
She had no illusions that he would ever notice her, she was not special. She did not stand out. She was not as pretty or witty or outgoing as Tomo-chan. She was klutzy and shy and gave bad directions.
He rarely spoke to her, and whenever he did, it was because she had initiated the conversation. They had never had chats just for the sake of talking; she was not so interesting that he would care to know more about her.
Tomo-chan was an excellent cook and she was not afraid of voicing her opinions. If she didn't have to always baby-sit her brothers, she would be awesome in tennis. Tomoko had a natural flair for sports and it was a shame that she did not have the free time to develop the skill.
Sakuno did not have anything to offer at all. She was not especially pretty and she could be almost painfully shy and demure. She was too klutzy to ever be really good in any kind of sport, and although she did relatively well in her academics (except English, Sakuno thought, she stunk in English), she would never be a genius like Inui-senpai.
But it called to her somehow. Maybe she didn't have an innate sense, she wasn't gifted with uncanny tennis skills, but she was willing to work hard to gain them. Then maybe he would notice her in her own right. Not because she was the coach's granddaughter or because she was one of the many other freshman that fawned over him, but because she could be strong too. Never as good as him, but she was willing to try, and try hard.
He inspired her, amazed her, and he did it all so effortlessly. She thought that maybe some of that essence would rub off, make her special too, just by being near him.
She didn't really count on falling for him. It just happened. He was charismatic in an unrefined, aloof sort of way, and it intrigued her. He didn't want the attention, would often walk away or remain silent when the mood struck him, and he never sought company. Company sought him.
His mannerisms touched on just the slightest side of rude, he could be so cocky. Everything came so easy to him. He did well in English and science, her two hardest subjects, aside from math. He was a genius when it came to tennis, and he was never alone unless he chose to be.
When she took up the sport, it would be something they would have in common and she would be that much closer to him. Of course, she knew she was being silly, but she couldn't help wanting to be similar to someone she looked up to.
Looked up to and fell for.
She had been so happy to spend time with him, even if it was incidental. But it was all for naught. Her mistake was making too much of it and taking too much time dressing. Tomo-chan had unnerved her, proclaiming their outing as a 'date' and she was shaken by it. There was nothing wrong with wanting to look nice, but having Tomo-chan call such a silly thing as going to get her racket restrung a date just pulled the rug from beneath her.
Things had started off very badly, but it was her fault. He was irritated at her for not being punctual and he showed it. Not with words, but his actions spoke clearly. She trailed behind him too shamed-faced with guilt. What an awful impression to make, she had thought, and repeatedly kicked herself.
But then things got better. They practiced in the park and she really enjoyed herself. She thought that Ryoma enjoyed himself too, for there was the tiniest of smirks ghosting his lips.
She was surprised yet pleased when he suggested dinner. Never had she imagined spending this much time with him. She had thought that he would help her get her racket restrung and that would be it. But now she was going to have dinner with him and it made her happy.
When they headed back to the station after their impromptu meal, she had been too wound up to just go home. So she practiced some more. She was so caught up in what she was doing that she lost track of time. Before long, the sun had set and she belatedly realized just how late it was. Obaachan would be worried.
In her panicked, flustered state, she got lost trying to find the station. She wasn't sure what to do. She was thinking that she should find a payphone when something hit her on the head and interrupted her musings.
Ryoma.
She turned around only to find him standing there with an un-amused expression. She was surprised to see him for she had thought he left for home an hour ago. Nonetheless, she was happy for the company and directional guidance.
He was quiet, but Sakuno had learned that being quiet was just his way. Ryoma was not one to blather endlessly about mundane topics and after she got over her unease, Sakuno found it somewhat refreshing. Tomo-chan was a chatterbox and Sakuno was used to having dialogue.
But walking side by side with Ryoma, it was peaceful and silent and just... nice. It was then that Sakuno realized that one did not need to have conversation to share a meaningful moment together.
He walked her home and it was just so, so amazing. So unbelievably amazing. He did not stay, it was late and tomorrow was a school day.
She hummed all throughout her bath and as she was brushing out her long hair, it occurred to her that she forgot to say 'thank you'. She had been so pleased and flustered that it slipped her mind. To correct her blunder, she decided to bake him some cookies.
He had done something nice for her and she wanted to return the favor. He had sacrificed his Sunday for her, the one day they did not have classes or tennis practice, and he spent it with her. Uncomplainingly, though she knew he must have had reservations.
It had taken her so long to bake those cookies. She was not a good cook, but she had tried. She had slaved over those cookies, pouring into it all her effort and gratitude. It was not easy. The first batch had burnt into smoldering unrecognizable charcoal discs.
When the second batch was ready, in her haste to take the tray out of the oven (she was afraid the cookies would burn again), she had singed her fingers and dropped them all over the kitchen floor. But the third batch, oh, the third batch was perfect. Beautiful, perfectly shaped, and not too sweet, for she knew he did not like overly sweet things.
She was so happy thinking about what his reaction might be. Would he smile at her maybe? Would he think of her when he ate those cookies that she had spent so much time making from scratch? He would at least be a little bit surprised and maybe even pleased when she gave him the treats. She wanted to see his eyes when they widened. Even if it was for just a fraction of a second, she would know that she was the cause of it. It would make injuring her hands worth it.
It was almost midnight by the time she was done. She had wrapped the cookies lovingly in her prettiest handkerchief, giddily planning the best time to approach him. She would give it to him when he was alone, she didn't have enough guts to do it in front of a crowd. They didn't share any classes together so that ruled out that.
Lunch time was too crowded and he sat a different table. During practice was also a no, but if she hurried, she might catch him before he left for home. He might even offer to walk her back, like he did that night.
So after they were dismissed from practice, she had rushed to change and then find him. She was disappointed to see him talking to his tennis buddies, but suddenly, she just had to get the task out of the way. If she dawdled any longer, she feared her courage would abandon her.
As casually as possible, ignoring the butterflies in her belly, Sakuno approached him. The pounding of her nervous heart was so loud, she didn't register what they were saying until she was almost upon them, and by then, it was too late.
Horio's loud, obnoxious voice had complained about Ryoma's 'date' with her and it was a wonder how anyone in the surrounding vicinity did not hear his grating whines. Momo was also loitering, pumping Ryoma for information.
In clear, disinterested tones, he had shattered her heart. "That girl? Who would date her?" The words rang like bells and repeated over and over in her mind like a vicious broken record.
It had hurt. She knew it was irrational, it wasn't a real date. It wasn't even his idea. He was just doing something coach asked him to do, namely escort the girl who easily got lost into the city to get her racket restrung. But in the back of her mind, she had thought that he had enjoyed himself just a little bit, because she had too. She was so obviously wrong, so utterly stupid.
Why would he care to hang around her? All he was asked to do was essentially baby-sit, and he did it. So why did it hurt so much?
Why did it still hurt, after all this time? Sakuno sniffed and scrubbed her cheeks viciously with the back of her fists.
Stop crying. Stop thinking about him.
It helped when she didn't see him, so she did just that. She avoided him at every opportunity. Sakuno was not a quitter and was not going to give up on tennis. She liked it. She was also not going to stop supporting her teammates, but that didn't mean she had to stick around and cheer him on. He had plenty of supporters. Tomo-chan was his biggest fan. One less groupie wouldn't even make a dent.
Her absence would not even be noticed. He never did give her the time of day anyway. It was time to end her girlish fantasies. A person who was as indifferent as Ryoma was to Sakuno didn't deserve her affections.
At least, that was what she kept telling herself. But even after all this time, deep in her heart, she knew she still liked him. It was frustrating. She did not welcome the warm feelings that suffocated her when he was concerned.
Her first brush with love sucked and she wasn't looking forward to a repeat encounter anytime soon. She was vowing boys off for a long time and the only productive release she could find was through a racket.
So here she was. Everyday. Obaachan didn't mind, she encouraged and supported her, pleased that Sakuno was taking tennis so seriously. She didn't know the real reason behind her granddaughter's sudden intense interest in improving her skill, and that was fine with Sakuno.
The wall she was using was a good distance away from the tennis courts. Seigaku was a large school and Sakuno had accidentally stumbled upon the abandoned area on one her lost expeditions. The walls were parts of old tool sheds that were now used for storage since the newer ones were more favorable. She was flanked on three sides by the grey weather-beaten structures with the open baseball outfield behind her.
It was a gem of a find. Good shade and extreme solitude. No one walked by this part of the school. In the days after that last interaction with Ryoma, Sakuno did not feel like socializing much and this was her haven.
She could practice without feeling self-conscious. She could rant under her breath whenever the mood struck and no one would be around to observe. She was so tired of keeping up the façade of carefree happiness. Of pretending that nothing bothered her. She would not have those around her worry, so she wore a cheerful mask even though she was hurting inside.
Here, she was free to just be Ryuzaki Sakuno and it felt good.
The braided girl got up and searched for her third ball. She only had three so she could not afford to lose any. Tomo-chan and she split the balls they had bought together. For a long time, Sakuno had only one ball to practice with. It was just this past week when she had saved enough pocket money to go buy another can. To mark them, she had drawn daisies. They matched the flower barrette she often wore in her hair.
She fingered the sweatband she was currently wearing for practice, her eyes shifting from left to right. Where was that dratted ball? Looking upon the empty outfield, the vast stretch of grassy land, Sakuno stopped and just stared.
The sun was setting and it was beautiful. The streaks of violet and pink blending with the darkening blues and grays soothed the tension from her body. The lines on her face relaxed, her breathing easy and slow. It had been a while since she last took pleasure in something so sweet and simple.
Sakuno took in a deep breath, one that swelled out her chest and arched her spine. She stretched out her arms and because she could, flung her racket and balls to the side and twirled.
Her braids flew out and her short tennis skirt flared, baring even more of her slim legs. She twirled and spun until she was too dizzy to go on, laughing all the while. She collapsed in a heap and then laid spread eagle in the soft grass, her chest heaving and her gasps short and uneven.
It felt good to be free, to be silly and childish and not have to worry about what others thought. She was so tired of always being nice. Always being dutiful. Always being quiet.
She was all those things, but she did not like being pigeonholed. She was not a two dimensional character and she railed against the thought. She was sweet, but she could also be very stubborn and very determined when she wanted to be.
She was introverted and shy at times, but was that such a bad thing? That simply meant that she took things at her own pace, and if it was slower than others, so be it.
Sakuno inhaled the crisp clean scent of nature and closed her eyes. She had spent more energy then she intended pounding her frustration out with the innocent balls. Fatigue was setting in. Ire spent, the adrenaline rush was gone and she was getting sleepy. Her breathing slowed and her head lolled to the side.
A little nap sounded really good about now. Just a short rest to replenish her energy supply. She'd hurry home soon. A jog would be good for her. Kaidoh-senpai jogged all the time, and his stamina was something to be aspired.
Sakuno yawned and fell asleep. For once, thoughts of a boy with cat shaped eyes did not plague her mind.