Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

This is a mixed POV. Bella and Edward's. :) hope you like R&R

It's 1:12am so, you know, I'm pretty awesome, right?

EPOV

I took a deep steadying breath, feeling the tearing sensation whenever I would leave Bella.

Her and Charlie drove off now, I watched from inside my Volvo, feeling sad and missing her already.

I had barely left her side for two whole weeks. Each time I fell asleep, I was terrified that I had been dreaming her recovery, and that when I woke up, she'd still be unconscious—or still be lying dead on her living room floor. I glanced at my passenger side seat. The leather was smeared with dried blood. It smelled. But I hadn't cleaned it or even considered anything about myself for days. Carlisle and Bella had begged me to go home to sleep, and shower.

But I refused.

I used Bella's bathroom when she finally got a private room outside of the ER. But my worst fear of all—was Jacob Black appearing here. I both feared—and yearned for it. I had pulled Charlie aside before he went in to see Bella. He was cranky, he wanted to see her after he learned she was awake.

But I needed to know everything else. I glared out into the parking lot now, remembering everything he had told me.

Through clenched teeth and exhausted eyes, he explained that all that was left when he arrived home was a shattered coffee table, a ruined living room and a pool of blood—two of them, one belonging to Bella. That's when I truly hated myself. I should have killed him when I got the chance.

I sighed, knowing I would have to leave Bella to find him. I ached for revenge...the need to shatter his body, but I would rather stay with Bella, watch over her and hold her than commit the murder I so desperately wanted to commit. I stuck the key in the ignition and pulled out of the parking lot. I made it home before Carlisle.

He had told me he was on his way when we left. He probably got held up with another patient or some paperwork or something. Either way, he never got home when he said he would. I skipped up the steps and onto the porch. As I slowly, absent-mindedly wandered the house, I pondered how much I had changed in the past few months.

All changes were because of Bella. She had shown me life, awaken something in me that I considered dead. I wasn't living—she had resurrected me. I had a reason now.

That reason was her. I was sorry about a lot of things. Of letting Bella suffer like this, of letting my parents suffer like they did. But, I was not sorry for feeling what I did for Bella. I would never regret what I felt. Not in a million years. It felt like I had been this way for a million years. I don't remember the thrill of life before now.

What the point was. What filled the void that Bella now filled. I had always been missing something, not knowing until that hole was occupied.

I slumped down on the couch, kicking my shoes off and grabbing the phone off the charger. I dialled Bella's home number, she picked up after two rings. "Hello?" she answered, her voice a little hoarse, like she had been crying. "Bella? What's wrong?" She sighed.

"Nothing. I just told Charlie about...about everything." My eyes widened. "Oh," was the only response I could come up with. "Yeah," she muttered.

"But, everything is fine now." I didn't believe her voice. "I know, by the way." I froze.

"Excuse me?" I asked cautiously. "I know he's still out there." She murmured sadly. I took a deep breath.

"I didn't want you to find out." I said. "There's no need for you to be frightened. Charlie and I are going to take care of you, don't worry about that." She sighed.

"Okay." I smiled slightly, still worried about her. "Do you think, maybe you could come over? Charlie has to work. And he doesn't want to leave me alone." she said. My smile widened. "Absolutely." I told her. "I'll be there in ten." "I love you." She murmured. "I love you, too." "Hurry." She added. I hung up and pulled my shoes back on, quickly scrawling a note to Carlisle and skipping out the door, locking it behind me. Without even thinking, I was at Bella's house under ten minutes, feeling surprised how quick I could get here.

"Bella?" I called, closing the door and walking over the lawn. Charlie's cruiser was gone—he obviously left already. I hopped up the steps, looking guiltily over the new wooden door that had replaced the old one. I knocked twice. No answer. So I opened it anyway. "Bella?" I shouted up the stair case, frowning.

I took my jacket off and stowed it on the coat rack by the door. I glanced sideways into the kitchen, and then into the living room—feeling a sick sense of déjà vu. I shuddered and hesitantly started climbing the stairs. "Bella? Where are you?" I called again nervously. Still not a peep.

I pushed open her bedroom door and stepped in. Empty. I was worried now. The bathroom was empty, all the rooms were empty. I ran downstairs, checking the window to see if her truck was still here. It was. I found my way to the back door.

My breathing stopped.

***

The screen door slammed noisily behind me. I didn't dare move an inch. My muscles tensed—they were anticipating the fight. But I held back. I held back because if I didn't, she would pay. And I couldn't have that. I knew what he was here for. It wasn't really to do with her this time, although that served as leverage—and fun. So he did so, teasing me with his bargaining chip. My Bella. She stared at me, her eyes wide but didn't hold the terror I had thought they would.

"Bella," I choked. "Shutup!" he hissed. I growled incomprehensibly in his direction, watching him pace in front of Bella.

He had a limp, but he had been to a doctor about his wounds, probably before Charlie raised the alarm about it. He held a knife at his side. Bella was kneeling on the grass behind him. He looked deranged—severely. He bit his lip, glancing wildly between the two of us. "Let her go," I ordered, glaring at him.

He smirked, seeming to lose some of the crazy then gain it all back when he skirted around Bella, coming up behind her and grabbing her by the hair. I took an involuntary step forward. "Hey! No you don't!" he warned, the tip of his rusty knife resting on Bella's bruised neck. She didn't look scared now either—she looked determined.

"Get your fucking hands off of her." I snarled, already planning ways to take him down. "No." He answered simply, cockily. "I want you to watch me fuck her." He sneered. The rage boiled deep inside my chest, threatening to explode in a full blown catastrophe. Bella's eyes flashed with unbridled fear. The fear I had sworn she would never have to feel again.

I lunged forward, tackling Jacob to the ground. We scuffled until I got the upper hand, peeling the dagger from his grasp. Bella staggered to her feet.

"Edward!" she squealed as we rolled over and over on the dried leaves and sticks. I punched him across the face when I was on top o f him, letting blood spatter from his mouth. He had fresh bruises from when I had pummelled him two weeks ago. As did I, but mine were almost healed. "Go!" I yelled at her.

"Go get help!" I demanded. I couldn't hear her moving away. Jacob rolled us over, standing up and running for Bella. I stumbled upright—my anger growing.

My breathing was laboured. He picked up the knife as he went. I sprinted, tackling him, his head hit the wall. He growled, trying to shove me off.

Bella ran inside. Good. I could keep him away from her better this way. That was until she came running back out. "Bella! Go back inside!" I yelled. She flinched, I flinched at her flinch. But I didn't have time to feel guilty about that yet. I laid another punch into Jacob's face. He was strong, he pushed me off onto the grass behind me. I fell on my back.

"Edward! Look out!" Bella screamed. She ran forward then. "Bella! No!" I shouted. She kicked him in the back of the legs. His knees gave way. "You fucking bitch!" he spat, wielding the knife in her direction. I snarled. "Please, Bella! Go!" I practically begged. She shook her head steadily. I heard cars off in the distance...and sirens. Bella had called Charlie. "Busted." I whispered. His face grew even wilder. I dodged the knife as it came down, only to stab the dirt. I managed to get to my feet.

"Drop the knife." I told him. "Make it easy." I suggested. He glowered into my eyes. "Fuck. You." I glared back, breathing heavily. I was aware of Bella standing behind him. I met her eyes, silently telling her to move, to stay back. But she wouldn't. She was bent on making me go insane. He came forward then, knife held firmly in his right hand.

I tripped on a tree root. Bella sucked in a breath.

"Edward!" she screamed. The knife came down...

BPOV

Death. It comes so often.

It happens to the best and the worst. I had experienced death.

Had come close to it so many times that I couldn't care to count anymore. It was also a part of life. Life and death. Polar opposites, without one, you can't have the other.

Like with many other things. It can be slow, it can be quick, it can be tragic...or unexpected.

It is always a shock. It always affects someone. I remembered going to my grandma's funeral. She had died when she was seventy eight. I loved her so much. I had cried non-stop for an entire week after I Renee had told me. I was sixteen when it happened. She had died peacefully.

In her own home, in her own bed. Death is never pleasant. But the way it had been described, it sounded like the best way to die was in your sleep when you're old and you've lived a long and fulfilling life. When you're ready to leave this world. Like I said, it wasn't pleasant, but it is easy.

The opposite of easy? Hard. Life is hard. Life is hard for the people that live. The people that the death affects.

Crying was natural at funerals. But I couldn't find it in me. Could I still be in shock? I wasn't sure. It wasn't like at Grandma's funeral. It was vastly different, for obvious reasons. I stood at the back, not wanting to see inside the coffin. I don't think I could. Where was the point in doing so? I didn't see it.

So, I stayed motionless as stone and stared, not listening, not seeing—anything. That morning, I had been getting ready for today. I had laid out my clothes the night before. A black dress and cardigan. I tied my hair up and put on some black flats. I had been zipping the dress up in the mirror when I caught sight of it.

I hadn't been out there since it happened. I caught a glimpse of where it happened. The grass there was still stained red with blood, spots of it covering a square couple of feet of ground. The sight of it made me feel sick. I had quickly closed my blinds, hating the sight of it. I didn't know if I would ever get used to it.

We got to the cemetery before anyone else, but I still sat the furthest away. I didn't want to be seen by anyone. Instead, I stared up into the sky...the sun was out, for once. It was rare. Like being set free. The sun on my pale skin felt relaxing. I wanted to bask in it forever.

I looked down into my lap, where my fingers were fidgeting with my purse.

The sun glittered against the diamond heart on my wrist. I watched with fascinated awe. I moved my wrist to make the reflected light dance on every surface. I wondered distantly what the after-life was like—if there was one. I liked to think so. I hoped so. I hoped very much. But I would never know, not until I breathed my last breath.

I played with the clasp on the bracelet, spinning the chain around my wrist absent-mindedly. I went back to fidgeting with my purse, not being able to keep my hands still. A hand covered mine, settling the movement. I took a deep breath, settling my stomach and the uneven beat of my heart.

I had forgotten loss, I had forgotten death, I had forgotten everything. I gazed up at Edward. He frowned back at me, concerned.

I gave him a half-hearted smile. When the sermon began, he took my hand in his, holding it tightly, kissing my palm. Everything was fine. I passed the coffin at the end of the ceremony, staring past the body inside. I didn't say anything, nor did I shed a tear. I just stared past it, letting go of everything. Letting go of the hate, the fear, the memories.

I was light, weightless. Edward held my hand the entire time, never letting go. For that I was grateful. I had seen Jacob's lifeless body that day when he died. But, seeing it again was too much. The moment replayed in my mind with perfect clarity.

I sucked in a breath. "Edward!" I screamed after he fell back. Jacob's hand came forward and I screamed. The sound of my scream was thwarted by that of a gunshot.

I whirled, my mouth hanging open in shock. Charlie stood at the back door, his gun held up in front of his face, one eye closed, one eye focussed. He didn't miss.

Jacob collapsed onto the grass beside Edward. I cried out loud, stumbling over to him. "Edward!" I sniffed. "Are you okay?" He looked at me, shocked. "Yeah," he answered. I helped him to his feet, grasping onto his body, searching for any signs of injury. He winced when I touched his face.

"Bella, are you hurt?" he asked then. I shook my head, not fully gauging the situation before us.

I watched as Charlie strolled over to Jacob's body, the colour leeched from his skin. He sighed, gingerly taking the knife out of his hand. He squatted beside him, staring at his face regrettably. "Where did Billy do wrong?" he whispered as if he expected an answer. But the thing was, Billy didn't go wrong.

He raised Jacob like a lot of other parents do. It isn't always that that defines who you are. Jacob was one in his own. He was a singular person, one being, who made his own decisions. They just happened to be the wrong ones. Exceptionally wrong. "Dad," I whispered, not moving forward. I couldn't go any closer.

"'I'm so sorry you had to do that." I breathed, tears brimming. He shook his head, standing up and walking to me. "It was necessary." He said.

His eyes were glassy, and I knew it hit him hard to have to do that, even if it was to save me. It would have been hard for me, too. But, I couldn't really concentrate on him at the moment. When I saw the knife come down for Edward, I thought for sure my dream was coming true. I was losing Edward, and I had been terrified. So terrified. I clung to him for the rest of the day.

He clung to me, too. We didn't want to say goodbye or goodnight. Edward slept on the couch in our living room.

I woke up early, not really able to sleep and lay there on the sofa with him.

We strolled to Edward's Volvo, deciding I didn't want to stay for the wake. Instead of dropping me off at home, we drove to Edward's house.

He led me in and up to his room. I was vaguely aware of where we were going. He sat me down on his bed and I cracked. "Bella," he soothed, holding me to his chest.

"Bella, please don't waste your tears on him. He doesn't deserve them." I sniffled. "It's not that," I reassured him. "I'm just so...relieved." I admitted.

"I know it sounds horrible. But I can't help it. I don't have to feel afraid anymore." I whispered. He smiled crookedly. "No, you don't. And you don't have to worry about my feeble attempts to protect you, either." I looked up at him. I sat up, kneeling on the bed. I pushed him so he was lying down. I lied down beside him, resting my head on his chest.

"You did more than enough." I said sincerely. I could almost hear him roll his eyes, but he didn't fight the subject. "Edward?" "Mmm?" I sighed, propping my face up on my elbow so I could see his face. "I meant what I said that day." He frowned. "It wasn't your fault." I whispered. His eyes grew sad. "You loved them, more than anything. Your guilt and shame is unjust.

You have to stop believing you are being punished. You have nothing to be punished for." I told him fiercely.

"You deserve happiness, whatever way you want it." I caught a tear at the corner of his eye with my finger tip. I pulled myself up to his chin, kissing him tenderly on the lips.

"I love you, Bella." He said against my lips. "I love you, Edward." I smiled, then caught his bottom lip between mine. I shifted so I was directly on top of him.

His hands moved slowly down my sides as our lips moved together. They glided over my arms, my waist, my hips. He pulled my knees up to his hips, his hand moving back upwards, wrapping around my waist. My breathing was loud—I couldn't help it, and so was his, so I didn't feel like a weirdo. He rolled us over then, hovering over me.

My legs wrapped around his torso. This moment felt so right...in so many ways. I wanted him to myself, he wanted me to himself. We wanted each other, we needed each other. The kissing progressed. My tongue dragged across his lips and into his mouth. His tongue did the same to me, mirroring my moves.

My nervous hands moved to his shirt, practically trying to rip it off I was so shaky. He realised what I was doing and he stopped.

"Bella," he whispered against my lips. "Mmm?" I responded, intoxicated. "Not now...not after...you know. I want it to be planned. Special." I frowned up at him.

"That is so cheating!" I scolded him. He grinned, kissing up and down my neck. I wrapped my arms around his neck. He lay back down then, so we faced each other on the bed.

We stared and stared until my eyes grew heavy. Darkness fell outside before I knew it.

I fell asleep, Edward's arms around me once more.

Isn't Edward just a doll. :) I love him. LOL. Did I scare anyone with the start of Bella's POV. Did anyone think Edward had died?