"Brother where are you going?"

"Don't worry Al just going out for a walk." The smile Ed flashed to the suit of armor was a little too cheerful to be real.

While it wasn't a complete like he intended to walk to a certain bar. The same one he knew that the Colonel liked to frequent. The very same one he caught him in last week pulling some obviously drunk blonde into his lap, one that was most certainly not himself for that matter.

Roy was completely daft if he thought that Edward Elric would sit back for that kind of thing. Yes Mustang had another thing coming completely if he thought he was getting off on this one without any consequence.

Originally he'd thought to confront the bastard but he knew how that would end. The snake of a man would talk his way out of the trouble like he always did. Then he would try and make it up to him. So that option was immediately discarded.

Second he'd thought of just breaking the man's face. Bad plan, as he did still need the military funding for his work. So no physical assault was possible because the injuries would make it far too obvious who could and would beat the older man that badly. Thus another option was tossed aside soon after it was brought up.

That he did decide on wasn't too bad. What he was going to do just now.

Edward could understand that Roy would be frustrated with him gone so often and for so long. That however didn't give him the right to fuck around with anyone else. But that they seemed to disagree about, the tiny detail it was. He'd found the lipstick on shirt collars and disgusting, frilly things in Roy's bed and each and every time the Colonel denied it up and down. Reassuring Ed that he was 'the only one' for him. It was a complete line but it was what he'd wanted to hear so he'd believed it. Now the he was sick of ignoring it.

The bar was in sight now. It was a lower class joint but it was fun. Having been here himself a few times Ed knew they didn't tend to card and the booze wasn't badly priced. Sober and not focused on his company he could see the place was really rather trashy and filthy. An easy hunting ground no doubt. He went around though to the parking behind through one of the alleys. Hands in his pockets and red jacket left behind because it was far too telling of his identity. The usual braid forgone in favor of a ponytail instead because that was also too classic of the Fullmetal Alchemist. His watch was even back with Al.

Just walking out of the shadows, gold eyes were passing over the cars he could find. Smirking a bit to himself, so like a certain someone else, as he found the black vehicle he was looking for. Walking right for it he started to think about where to start not that it mattered because when he was done it was all going to look the same. Clenching his metal hand into a fist he brought it through the back passenger window with ease. It actually felt pretty damn good to do it too.

The process continued and they all broke easily under the force of the blonde's automail. No cracking just shattering on contact. Though the windshield he decided to break a bit differently. Getting up on the hood of the car he drove his left foot through the glass. Watching in satisfaction as it was crushed and shattered. Sending a spray of shards in on the dashboard and front seats.

"Thank you Winry.." He was laughing because all he could picture was the look on Mustang's face when he was done.

Hopping back down to the pavement he circled the car and kicked out the head and taillights as he went. Then a clap and the blade on his arm was out and his buried the tip into the tires and tugging to slash them beyond any repair other than by alchemy maybe.

"Whoops."

Nice deep gashed along the outside that went beyond a simple keying. Then one of the doors was opened and Ed just tore up the upholstery on the back seats. Moving back out to open one of the front doors to do the same to the rest. He was satisfied when there was hardly anything showing but the padding.

Standing back and looking at the damage so far he wasn't happy yet. With little other idea on his mind he just started to beat on the body of the car with his automail. The anger and force behind the blows was met with lovely crunch and grating noises. Even after that he felt something hadn't been done. And the perfect final touch came to him. Sadly he'd need some alchemy to help him this time. All the same it only took a minute and he was heading back up the alley. Ed had one more little delivery for the Colonel tonight.

Going right up to the door and in he ignored the bouncer at the door who smartly made no move to stop him. Might have been the feral little smile on his face but all he knew was he hadn't been stopped. Slipping through the bodies the catcalls were ignored as well at his appearance.

It took all of twenty seconds to spot the dark haired man in his chair with a wobbling and giggling blonde bimbo in his lap. She wasn't too pretty, but he face was caked with make up. And that kind of blonde came out of bleach. It was a merry old time for them right now. As he got closer though he noticed the difference in at least his commanding officer. The man's cobalt eyes were wide and he'd frozen as his tramp of the night was leaning her head down to nibble at his neck.

"Evening Colonel." His tone was almost friendly and the smile he flashed seemed to make Roy all the more tense. As it should. "Just had an important delivery for you. Sorry to interrupt." A gloved hand slipped into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. "Have a nice evening then Colonel." Waving over his shoulder as he went Edward Elric smirked to himself. To think this was when he finally got one better on the bastard.

With slightly shaking fingers Roy opened up the folded piece of paper he'd been handed. Ed had turned back just in time to see the man's face pale. Sadly he didn't have a camera on him. He also didn't stick around to see the rest. Al was waiting up after all.

That night Colonel Mustang got two very unpleasant gifts courteous Fullmetal.

The first Ed's transfer papers that had just been handed over.

The second came in the parking lot. His car was completely destroyed and for added insult it couldn't be moved immediately as it was resting on it's hood rather than it's wheels.

That was when Roy Mustang finally learned the lesson Ed had been trying to teach him.

No one gets one over on Edward Elric in the end.

I just had to write it after I heard Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats". Not my best but the look I can see on Roy's face to have that happen is priceless.