Chapter 8

What is harder? To count on someone or to know you're the one being counted upon? The question haunted Jules all morning the day after her exercise meltdown in front of Sam. But as she looked out into the ocean holding a cup of coffee in her hand, she realized the question has plagued her for the majority of her life since age 7. It is the question which defined her career path and quest for perfectionism. You see Jules already answered the question a long time go, when she subconsciously decided being counted upon was the most important responsibility for a daughter, a sister, a girlfriend, a wife, and especially as an SRU officer to have.

From the kitchen Sam Braddock wearing only pajama bottoms watched Jules from the balcony of the beach house staring out into the ocean. He wondered what was going through her mind at that point. Sam knew they needed to talk more about last night, but he couldn't help the warm feeling he felt looking at her. There was something mesmerizing about Jules Callaghan. She looked absolutely beautiful sitting in the balcony drinking a cup of coffee by the ocean. There was an extra softness in the way she looked that morning, which captivated Sam further. Your perfect and beautiful Jules, inside and out if only I knew away to get you to see it for yourself.

With his own cup of coffee and the coffee pot, Sam stepped out onto the balcony to join Jules, gesturing for her to allow him to refill her cup.

"Hey You. Penny for your thoughts" Sam said putting his arms around Jules and giving her a kiss on the neck as he proceeded to take a seat next to her. "Is that your mom's journal?" He asked staring at a black leather book Jules had clutched closed to her chest.

"Yeah. I just wanted to feel like she was here with me this morning." Jules stated as she closed her eyes to embrace the cool ocean breeze in her face.

Jules gave an uncertain smile and was unable to hold Sam's gaze as she started to speak. "I'm really sorry about last night. I don't' know…" she sighed "I can understand if this is more than what you bargained for. We can…" she continued but was interrupted by Sam.

"Jules you don't have to be sorry about anything" Sam said as he grabbed her hand. "Well get you help. I don't know too much about Eating Disorders and what you're going through but we can learn together and fix it okay? And it doesn't have to be all done in one day." He said squeezing her hand.

"Thanks. But I don't need you to be my hero or fix this for me Sam" Jules responded more defiant than ever

"I'm not trying to be your hero Jules, and I don't feel sorry for you either. I just want you to let me in and allow me to be there for you." Sam commented taking both of her hands and putting them into his to get her to relax.

After having her hands in his and looking into Sam's eyes she couldn't resist. The simple truth was she needed him and the feeling of having someone to share your darkest secrets with was a breath of relief for her.

"You know we don't have to be back at HQ until noon tomorrow. So let's enjoy the rest of the day here and take care of #8" He continued to smile at her, trying to lighten up the mood further.

"Sam, Seriously? You hate the water being from the dessert" Jules started to giggle, almost forgetting for a minute about her problems. "Surfing really?" she asked.

He gave her that smile again, that melted her heart and said with a giggle "Yeah, we have surf class in 3 hours. No worries okay? The last thing I want is for us to drown and that is why we have an instructor."

"Anyway, before we do that. Are you ever going to tell me about that?" He asked glancing over to her mother's journal.

"Yeah, it was my mother's" Jules responded placing her hand over the books cover. "It's got a list of her favorite books, her favorite quotes, her to do list, her thoughts". She smiled warmly.

For the rest of the day Jules opened up to Sam about her mother and how close they were. Jules explained to Sam about the list he was so eager to fulfill for her. It was a game she explained between her mother and her. A list of all these things she didn't think she could do or thought were impossible to accomplish.

"We started playing the game with each other since I was 5 when I asked her what the word "faith" meant". Jules said to Sam teary eyed. "Anyway you can figure out the rest, what the purpose of the list is….she wanted me to have faith that nothing was impossible".

"I've been playing the game ever since. And up until now I didn't think faith existed" She looked up at his crystal blue eyes.

"That's beautiful Jules" Sam responded. "You ready? Why don't we forget about everything and take care of #8 from you list then, and watch my Samtasic surfing skills?" he sarcastically stated.

Jules and Sam had a fantastic weekend together, despite the exercise meltdown. Somehow they managed to put the worries of life on the back burner until they returned to Toronto. After a hilarious attempt at surfing, they packed up and headed back for the 3 hour ride back home. Jules' dreaded the ride home, knowing she would have to begin dealing with reality soon. But at the same time she felt a sense of relief that she made her decision and knew Sam wanted to be with her also. One less pressure of my plate. May be not. Oh please don't let that be......

Pulling into Jules' drive way they were stunned at what awaited them.

"Hey Jules" Scott said annoyingly. "Hey Sam glad to see that it doesn't' take long for you to move in on my girlfriend."

TBC

HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THIS. THIS IS ONE OF THOSE CHAPTERS WERE YOU JUST STRUGGLE WRITTING, PROBABLY BECAUSE THIS STORY IS NEARING THE END

DON'T SCORPIO ME. SCOTT IS JUST SAYING HI! ;0