So my friend Daniel and I came across the comercial for IHC's lottery...apparently the world is going to end on Dec, 21, 2012 and IHC has a giant plan for man kind...buuuttt their safe haven is almost full and your only chance of survival now is to win the lottery...yupp. Anywho we randomly, spur of the momently, decided to write this. So we might not continue...but review and tell us what you guys think about captain K! anywho hope you laugh as much as we did!!
Supersam and Daniel
Operation Safe Haven
Captain's log,
December, 21st, 2012
The Institute for Human Continuity has just declared the lottery winners. As I pack my bag, toothbrush, sweater, pants, I thank god I drive the ship, otherwise I would be with the billons of unlucky bastards that make up the rest of the worlds population.
I look at the picture on my desk; my ex-wife has rights to my children, they will not be attending. I realize that I am lonely as I see the stack of porn mags beside my bed, then I shove my rabbit, Mr. Squishy, into the left over space of my suitcase…hope he has air.
An alarm goes off and I grab my bag, Mr. Squishy wines in protest. Running down the hall I head towards the entrance to the door, I notice that everyone has gathered. Millions of people that have purchased the "survival kits" will soon find out that there water purification tablets are actually laxatives and their radios need batteries. Oh yeah, and the batteries provided are used.
People begin to board the gigantic boat that I will drive them in, so they can arrive at their destination, Antarctica. There we will be placed in the Subterranean Cities that will protect us from the cataclysmic event we are running from. I don't get the point in having an under ground city when IHC says the earths crust is going to split open, aren't the ice caps melting anyways?
As we drive the boat to our destination I stay optimistic, maybe IHC will be wrong, just like the last thousand times man kind has been told to hug their loved ones because of the world ending. Wouldn't it be funny if all these people spent their life savings just to wait in a metal city for nothing to happen?
Within hours we arrive at our destination. I inform the millions of lucky people to take their belongings and make their way to their designated homes. Well I have to go take a crap, if this shit does go down then I will be thankful I did…forgot extra underwear.
Until then, Captain K out!