Chapter 2: Such a Pein in the ass

A/N: No offence to people who find this… Offensive and feels offended.

Note: As usual, failed humor.

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"OI! Wake up!!!" Someone yelled into my ears and was apparently shaking me like crazy.

"Uhm... 5 more mins..." I muttered under my breath.

"Zzz! You really sleep like a pig you know that? NOW WAKE UP BEFORE I KICKBUTT YOU ALL THE WAY TO INDIA!"

"OK OK! IM AWAKE! I DON'T WANNA GO TO INDIA!!!" I bolted up straight. Definitely NO WAY I'm going there.

"Okay, what bout Africa?"

"No thanks, unless u wanna go there yourself, I wouldn't mind being the one kicking your arse."

I tried standing up but my legs wouldn't move.

"If ur pwny little brain haven't register our situation, we're tied up."

"Shuddap! Leave my brain alone!"

"Ewww! Kinda smell like your fart here." Cas teased. Seriously, if weren't for the fact that I was tied up, i would've...uh... Throw a bomb on her or something. Yeah. I'll do just that.

"WOW thanks! And I didn't know you'd go around smelling other people's butts. I bet your dying to smell Kisame's" I sarcastically said.

"Ugh. If I weren't tied up, I'm so gonna...Uh...Do something to you once I've thought what it is."

"Pfft lamer."

"Not as lame as you! Putting that aside, where are we?"

"Somewhere on earth?"

"Zzz! Everyone KNOWS that! I meant where on earth?!"

"1. There's only 2 of us here and 2. Gee I don't know. It looks like your room though..."

"= =" Nope, not my room. Probably yours."

"For your info, I share room with u, idiot."

"Fine... Let's be "good" owners and spare the room"

"Yeah sure... But, I won't spare your anime posters" I said, getting bored by the min.

"Oi! Don't drag my poor Allen into this."

"YOUR poor Allen? Man, now I'm starting to pity YOUR POOR Sharkie."

"How many times do i have to repeat, he's not mine!"

"-ignores- Ahh... Don't worry lil sharkie, even if Cas doesn't love you, I will still shower u with all my love." I mumbled to myself, oblivious to my surroundings and of course, we were too busy arguing to notice that someone came in and was listening to our retarded argument. What dumbasses we were. Really.

"Ahem." We both jumped. Since when HE was here?!

"Since when?" Cas asked.

"Probably since u were in your momma's womb." I said, snickering.

"That's lame!"

"Not as lame as you. Ah... Young love..." I grinned, "And sorry… Kisame"

"Sorry for?" Kisame raised an eyebrow.

"Uhm... For being an extra here. Really, while u both are here, I can go join Itachi outside..." I said.

"FINE! Go join your Weasel outside and leave me here to rot and die!" Cas exclaimed. Woah. Drama Queen.

"Er? Kisame's here with u... Your not alone. But on second thought, I would stay if u promise me one thing."

"And... What's that?"

"Don't leave ur poor shark- -PIAK!-" Ouchies. "Hey! I haven't finished my sentence!"

"NO WAY! Hmph! Fine! Go join your weasel in your little lovey dovey-..."

"He's not MINE! And neither is he a weasel = = AND, I'll join you. I don't wanna face the Mangekyo Sharingan again. I might develop phobia for it ya know"

"Yayness~" Turning to Kisame*cough*Hubby*cough* (Heh! I'm evil!), "So? Why did u bring us here?"

"So that he could have you all for himself." I whispered to myself, lucky for me, only Kisame heard it and he was staring at me like as if I look like shark food. D: If Cas had heard it, I'd be in heaven already.

"Sorry." I gulped. Apology accepted I guess?

Sighing, Kisame said "No more nicknames, you hear me?"

"Yeah sure," I sweat dropped "If I can help it."

"Leader-sama wants to see you both."

"Huh? Leader-sama? Isn't that the guy who has multiple piercing?" Cas asked.

"Yeah. That guy who has the Rinnegan, hm." I shrugged, turning to Kisame.

"I don't wanna see him. He's scary, hm." I pouted.

"Well, you don't have a choice." He said.

"Then, why don't we create a choice of our own? 1. See this Leader-sama of yours and 2. Don't see him & you let us outta here, hm"

"... Like I said, you don't have a choice."

"Well! I don't wanna see him, hm!"

".Uh Del? Stop acting like a spoilt brat."

"NO, hm!"

"And stop saying "Hm, hm, hm!" Pisses me off ya know! If you really like this Deidara so much then go date him! Now stop causing us trouble and just go see this... Leader." Cas yelled.

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"HEY KISAME! Your wife's finally standing up for you! Shouldn't you give her a kiss or something?!" which earned me a bump on my head, once again. HEY! I finally solved the root of my problem! (of my stupidity!) This caused both of us to fight again. Banzai for both of us~! You know you love our awesomeness!

"...This will never end, will it?" Kisame sighed. "Now the both of u shut up before I get Ita-.." Even though he said in a... normal volume in the midst of our LOUD fighting, I still heard it. I have supersonic ears ya know!

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! DON'T GET HIM HEREEEEEE!!" I screamed, hiding behind Cas and shaking her.

"Wo-Woah! Oi! Don't scream into my ears, dumbass!"

That's when Itachi came in, and I, seeing him, quickly shut my mouth. Tee hee? -scratches head-

"Kisame, your taking a long time to get them out... What's all this-" Itachi paused, looked directly at me, and sighed.

"Her?"

"Yes..." Kisame sighed. "Seems like she has a phobia of you, Itachi-san."

"You get the other one out first while I handle this one" Itachi said, advancing closer towards me.

"Okay." Kisame said. "Eto, your name is Cas right? Let's go first. Itachi-san and your friend... will follow us shortly"

"Uhm... Okay." Cas looked at me and smirk. HEY! SHE'S LAUGHING AT MY MISERY!

"It's payback time, Del. Hehehe." Cas thinks, sticks out her tongue at me & then walked out with Lil Sharkie.

"Cas! How dare you leave me for your lil sharkie! D:" I grumbled in my mind, quickly noticing Itachi coming closer.

"D-Don't Co-come any Cl-Closer!" I yelled, falling on my bum. Ouch!

As Itachi was inching closer, I moved back... Until i reached a wall. Damn. Itachi looked at me down hard with those red eyes. Argh! I'm so scared till I can't even pee on my pants. And I definitely REFUSE. I repeat. REFUSE to look into those eyes. Heh! Kill me.

"You..." His voice stated. I cringed. "Are that scared of me...?"

"Eh?" I looked up at him. In those cold and emotionless eyes of his, was somewhat filled with warmth and sadness. "Crap! I looked into his eyes!" I looked away.

"It's alright... I haven't activated the Sharingan." I looked at him. "Hmm? Something's wrong with this guy ."

"Would you come with us to see the Leader?" Itachi said.

"And... If I don't?"

"You wouldn't want to know..."

"-gulps- Okay... Then... Just cause I'm so awesome, I'll go with you." I playfully said. "But, on one condition."

Itachi raised an eyebrow. "Doesn't she know her situation?"

"What is it?"

"Uhm... You gotta hold my hand and not leave me alone together with the Leader. Or else, I'll freak out and God-knows-what-I'll-do when I see him. And, it's not fair cause Cas has Kisame with her and I'll feel left out."

"... Fair enough."

Itachi helped me up (wow such a gentleman!) and we both walked out of the uhm... dungeon. Yeah that's it. Dungeon. Holding hands. TSKTSK. Don't get the wrong idea. It's NOT my fault that I'm ESPECIALLY scared of dark places and besides, he agreed to my condition so HAH! TAKE THAT! All of you Itachi fans! And wow, Itachi's hand's so warm and smooth. HEHE. Trust me, when we see this Leader-SAMA, I'm sooo gonna trash an answer outta him and asked Why Akatsuki's so "poor" till they cannot afford lights for the hallway! Ouh. Probably Kakuzu's fault. AND! Why is this Akatsuki hideout so complicated?! I wonder who build this base... Seriously. Okay, enough of my complains.

Finally, after like 1234567891234 hours, (it was only 10 mins) we reached the outside of the... interrogation room?! = =" Without noticing we were at our destination, I began hatching up a plot on how I'd try to surprise the people behind these doors. Yepp kill me.

"Hm? Where's Uncle Sushi and Cas?"

"Uncle Sushi?"

"Yeah. Kisame."

"... They're probably inside. We're late. Let's get going."

"Uhm... okay..." I fidgeted worriedly. But of course, if Cas was inside, I'd have no fear what-so-ever. Cause with her, I'm literally invincible. Muahaha! Fear me!

Itachi opened the door and cold air rushed towards me, sending chills down my spine. The room was cold. Oh did I mention that already? Hnn, and it smelled of death. And it was dark, cept for one tiny light which was shone onto the Leader... Wait...LEADER?!

"AHHHHH!!! It's YOU!" I pointed accusingly at the one whom they call "Leader-sama". Woah, this room has echo. . I then kept quiet, looking at the 10 pairs of eyes staring at me.

"Uhh..." I stammered, feeling embarrassed. Man! My plan didn't work!

"Del! You're finally here eh? How did your little lovey dovey with Weasel go?" Who else would've said that? Cas of course!

"Huh? Lovey dovey?"

"Yeah. -points to my hand- THAT. "

"Uhm..." I stuttered over my words, turning bright red.

"Awwwww... Someone's blushing eh?" Cas teased. Man! How can she see in this... Darkness? -Sigh- I know why. I have been passing all my carrots to her! Mom, don't read this.

"Shuddap! It was just because- AH!" I shouted, turning my attention back to our dear LEADERR-SAMMAA. "YOUR FAULT!"

Pein raised an eyebrow.

"Yes you! YOUR SUCH A PAIN! A PAIN IN THE ARSE! Why didn't you put any lights in the hallway AND dungeon. It caused me so much trouble ya know?! Look, I can understand why if your organization is poor. BUT NO! Your organization is NOT poor. SEE! You even have an accountant! (Kakuzu obviously) I bet you just wanna torture me in this... Darkness! And it caused me to lose face just cause Cas make fun of me holding hands with Itachi-senpai! And please, I'm just holding hands with him cause I'm AFRAID OF THE DARK! Woah! New discovery! Hmph."

After I said this, everyone including Cas was staring at me while I sat down on the floor, hugging my knees to my chin, rocking back and forth, mumbling to myself: "Don't look at me. Don't look at me."

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Note: Don't shoot me for this D: It's just how retarded my brain works. So yeahhhh.